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Champagne_bitch
[–]BasieSkanksRuthless Strategist240 points241 points242 points 5 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link
Any time a man has told me he has a certain quality, he’s been the opposite. It’s almost like they’re trying to convince themselves more than you.
[–]chinchaslythFDS Newbie83 points84 points85 points 5 years ago* (7 children) | Copy Link
RIGHT??
Any guy that tells me he’s good in bed, I just lately laugh in their face. I know to run in the other direction.
[–]HornetKickFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Yep. I saw this after my post. Pretty much what I said.
[–]chinchaslythFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I haven’t been on a date since January and have written all men off for 2020 but it’s entertainment to listen to them try 🤷🏽♀️
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Snap. I briefly activated and quickly deleted my OLD app today. They are so transparent that I do not even want to dip my pinky. 99+ matches in 30 mins and the ones I entertained all displayed problematic behaviour and were swiftly deleted without a word from me. FDS has covered every angle! Not one normal man out there.
[–]chinchaslythFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I did OLD for 5 days in 2018. Never again.
I sometimes meet men in the wild, but with covid not as of late. I surf so it’s an easy sport to keep distance and I’ve seen some really hot surfers but I’m also like what’s the point 😑
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Absolutely agree. I keep going back every now and again as I live in a dead end small town but at this point all I see is the manipulation magnified. I'd rather be alone. One couldn't help pointing out that I enjoy DIY and made a thing of it in the first message; so delete. Another said oh a swimmers body; delete. Next was oh you have lovely eyes and I responded thanks and he replied I'm not going to force a conversation with you?? 😂 I said yes please don't and he deleted himself. Next one accused me of lying about my age and wanted to know where I lived in first message; deleted. It was astounding. None of them made it through phase 1. Never again.
[–]chinchaslythFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ewwwww. Sounds terrible.
Why would someone shit on DIY let alone a man? Aren’t they supposed to be crafty and good with their hands?
All the HVM I’ve dated loved challenges and like making things from scratch.
[–]Rasaya87FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You and me both. I swear, before deleting all my OLD accounts, I swiped no on dozens of men.
[–]MademoiselleVacheThrowaway Account30 points31 points32 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
trrruuue. a lot of these guys seem to be somewhere on the road to correcting their shitty behaviour, maybe? anyway it's like they're trying to justify their crappy past behaviour by insisting they're no longer "that guy" but sensitive/caring/understanding, whatever.
[–]PanItWitMeFDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
10000% my NV-ex used to tell me in the beginning what a nice guy he was. Shocker; he wasn’t nice at ALL. He was straight up abusive. My HVM now never had to tell me how great he was/is. His actions tell me; every day.
[–]shaquielle0atmealFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This. Literally, the same thing happened to me! That along with, "I'm such a smart, caring guy. No one likes me because of how smart I am, the nice clothes I wear, and the nice car I drive." To say he was on a high horse fueled by lies is an understatement.
[–]Rasaya87FDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly this! My ex would spout about how he's so damn nice! He was an abusive narcissist. 😹😅🤦♀️
[–]luna_prismaticFDS Newbie25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Right, because rarely do men actually communicate with women. Usually we’re just the mirror/vessel through which they monologue to themselves.
[–]daisy_0720FDS Disciple9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is my comment of the day.
The profound truths you ladies are dropping on this sub never cease to amaze me. I need to collate them all in a notebook or something.
[–]throwthisawayred31 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
o.m.g
[–]tasdronFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Or when they say they don’t play games. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
[–]KristeninmyskinFDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“I hate drama”
[–]hnycrsp1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep!! Last one told me that he wasn't an angry guy...guess who turned out to be the angriest person I've ever met?!?!
[–]mscristalconnorsFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Always.
[–]MingoogreatyThrowaway Account81 points82 points83 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Actions speak louder than words. Look for someone who doesn't need to say these things for people to see they are these things.
[–]HyzenthlayyyyThrowaway Account73 points74 points75 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Should have added the biggest one... NICE guys don’t tell you how nice they are!
[–][deleted] 143 points144 points145 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
A lion will never have to tell you it's a lion.
[–]WkndwhorechataFDS Apprentice34 points35 points36 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
But lions be lion (lyin').
[–]elainejay82FDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Omg my Leo ex narc should have this tattooed next to his LION tattoo. 🤣 You just made my whole day.
[–]sahu_FDS Newbie53 points54 points55 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I had the misfortune to meet the most obnoxious man last year..All he would do is name drop people he met at parties where he was a 'socialite' and all the latest gadgets he picked up, even though I would have rolled my eyes a couple of times, he would continue to flaunt his wealth - the non luxury cars his family drove, the fact that he bought his clothes from certain brands and so on. It was honestly so unattractive.
Even if he was all those things, he failed to read the room..
[–]umbralgardenFDS Newbie40 points41 points42 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Show, not tell. I try to remember this for myself too.
[–]Geocities_SEO_ExpertFDS STRATEGY COACH43 points44 points45 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
An ambitious man goes out and racks up achievements, he doesn't tell his girlfriend about his grand plans for the 50th time, while they share a 10pc McNuggets and small drink.
[–]shaquielle0atmealFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
It's too early in the morning to be laughing this hard. LMAO!
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]shortywannarockFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m laughing because I’ve dated the same guy 😂 😭
[–]Knitter-of-DataFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Right?!!!
Mine literally growled as he lunged at me and said “I’ll spend the rest of my life making you regret this!”
Ofc THAT was the first thing he ever put any substance effort into...
Sigh
(But he failed at that too, like he did and still does at EVERYTHING)
[–]squashmybutternutsFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
god I hope you're doing okay
[–]Knitter-of-DataFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Aww thank you! Yes indeed doing so much better, now on the bright side of lots of a restraining order, a $70k divorce (truly ridiculous as we had NOTHING worth an actual divorce trial - at one point the judge even asked “wait WHY are we here?!”), lots of good therapy, and a bunch more yuck, but ya know... all good...
There’s something remarkably powerful about being forced to confront seemingly insurmountable things - you come out the other side a hell of a lot more chill than you went in, that’s for sure, and it forces you to admit (and let’s you relish) that in fact you really can do just about anything if you have to, which in turn lets you choose just about anything if you want to! So there’s that❤️
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Knitter-of-DataFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Yesssssssss!!!!!
Oh darling sweet girl with so much ahead of you! I first met my now ex the summer after my first year of college - we were SO in love, fer realz, and / but my utter cluelessness about the male species was such a problem - though I know for damned sure that the scary dangerous terrible things at the end were not my fault, there are so many aspects of those early years that I would’ve navigated sooooooo differently had I understood any of what you’re so so so wise to be working to learn now, and it’s really hard to keep from wondering what if....
The single biggest thing that I’ve learned is that the over-simplified version of feminism that my generation (hard core Gen X) was raised with was insidiously and mostly inadvertently toxic to not only to us (females/girls/women) but also well-meaning males/boys/men (not to mention anyone even tiptoeing around anything non-binary!).
I was raised in a household that focused hugely and directly and overtly on feminist values and female empowerment etc, played Free To Be You And Me on my record player all day and all night, my cousins and I all got Our Bodies Ourselves as Christmas presents when we each of us were 12, as a rite of passage. We have family photos with all of the kids wearing ERA shirts, I grew up in Susan B Anthony’s hometown, we went to Seneca Falls every year, it was A Thing.
BUT
NO one ever talked about the fundamental difference between two things (or people, or genders, or races, or humans, etc) being EQUAL versus being THE SAME.
I firmly believe that there lack of discourse on this hugely important fact has contributed directly to much of what’s effed up today, because a side effect of that omission is diminishing the inherent and unique and distinct value of any individual, which leaves people feeling invisible, unappreciated, misunderstood, ignored, bitter, defensive....
Anyhoo - you’re going to have a fabulous and incredibly full life with many twists and turns and you’re wise to use this time to grow into YOU! There will be plenty of time for the rest ❤️❤️❤️ and there’s no need to interrupt your progress for LVM (or LVW tbh!!!)
[–]Eris_the_FairFDS Apprentice4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
WOW! You just made me move on from my ex a little more. Your comment is shockingly accurate.
[–]GreytracksuitPantsFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Man on Tinder “I’m funny”
Eh. Let me be the judge of that
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
😂😂😂
[–]4E4MEFDS Apprentice14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"Nice" guys do.
[–][deleted] 22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
We should know this by now ladies. Actual nice guys are not the ones who tell you they’re a nice guy.
[–]esotsm-FDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup! Notice how “nice guys” have to literally sell you on their niceness bc they’re conmen who have no intention of actually being nice. Nice people show you they’re nice, they don’t have to tell you/sell themselves. Rule of thumb is if he’s trying hard to sell himself to you it’s bc no one is buying it.
[–]Knitter-of-DataFDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Is it acceptable to point out how clearly this describes this century’s biggest con man thus far who bragged about grabbing women by their pussy and commented on his then infant daughter’s sexy legs, and who also is the antithesis of bravery, who may or may not very soon have a different job? (Cuz he’s my boss and the toxic work environment he’s created is literally killing people and it’s not ok and I’m ready for him to leave - and I’ve worked for 4 of his predecessors and never felt this strongly before)
[–]daisy_0720FDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Damn sis, now I'm curious to know who you are, lol.
Once again though, proof that FDSers are smart, successful, powerful women. Cry harder, incels. We're never going to be the sad, frumpy, dateless losers you so desperately want us to be.
[–]Knitter-of-DataFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
lol I’m Bat[wo]man! 🤣
Lately our mantra to make it through the day has been to remind ourselves that we (my fiercely intelligent decent human genuine public servant colleagues and I) have been doing our job since long before it ever occurred to him to leave his Manhattan tower, and we will continue long after he finds himself another toxic squirrel to chase, so fear not, all will be well. But damn we’re so effing exhausted.
[–]Acceptable-Respond54FDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Kind men don’t tell you how nice they are.
[–]elainejay82FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Way to call me out 😬 The smart one got me. Yeeeeeeshhhh.
[–]Knitter-of-DataFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
The smart one is particularly problematic and bizarre when your day job implies / requires a relatively reliable level of intelligence / credibility / recognition as a leader in your field...
One ex freaked out yelling at me one evening when I got home from work, he’d coincidentally stumbled upon an interview I’d done on NPR they I hadn’t told him about (Ummmm I’d been doing interviews ALL week and after his scoffing disdain response to my excitement at having been interviewed by NYT I’d decided to just not share...)
The crux of his freak out thesis was that I “think [I’m] sooo much smarter than him and [I] won’t stop lording it over him...”
Ummm 🤔
[–]hopewingsFDS Apprentice3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That is so impressive and awesome! You go! <3
[–]shaquielle0atmealFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks girl!❤️❤️
[–]shaquielle0atmealFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
So true! My ex was a self-proclaimed smart biology expert and was 4 years older than me. When I asked him to help me with my AP biology take-home exam (When I was in high school), all of the questions he helped me with were wrong. 😭
[–]Knitter-of-DataFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
🤣🤣🤣🤣 You had me at “self-proclaimed biology expert” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
[–]shaquielle0atmealFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I can't even make this up girl😭😭😭
[–]werker115FDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My dad told me this when I was younger, he said “good people don’t declare that they are good people.”
[–]jayohday3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good guys don’t have to tell you they’re “not the bad guy. Stop making me the bad guy”
"No drama"
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ahaha looking for this comment. Code for: the most drama.
[–]maeta1232 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What about "can I be honest with you?". As soon as he said that, I knew it was gonna be bullshit.
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Whats a con men?🤭
[–]he-was-a-sk8r-scroteThrowaway Account23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Scammers, scrubs, snake oil salesmen. Players, tricksters, people of low value highly motivated to make you think they’re high value in order to gain your trust to manipulate you.
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks!
[–]DonDoveFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Donald Trump is that you?
[–]HornetKickFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've always said this...but not in such plain language. If a guy says oh, you'll get yours...if a guy spouts off that he is this or that, they typically never are. They say shit out loud to convince you they are what they say they are, which in many cases is a fucking lie. It's in their actions. It's very simple.
[–]Classy_BunnyFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My latest ex kept telling me how honest he was and that he expected the same from me so we could have a strong foundation to our relationship. I found that so creepy.
[–]hiphopradish0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, the guy who told me there are so many cheaters "out there"? Yep. Cheater.
[–]Rasaya87FDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That reminds me of my ex boasting about his junk, or how responsible he is, or how people (somehow) automatically are wary of him just because he's tall (no, he's just an asshole), among other BS he wanted to impress me with. Yeah, talk about a liar! 😹
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