Currently getting some downvotes on a FEMINIST subreddit for saying her "friend" probably objectifies women, so that's why he got defensive and is trying to shame her. 🤗

starfighter07 · 2021-08-22T21:04:42+00:00

OK but the gaslight in the post is astronomical. Her """"friend"""" remarks are so innapropriate.

And you are being downvoted for saying the truth ??? Are you sure this is reallyyyy a feminist sub ?? /s

ashcantcatchabreak · 2021-08-22T22:47:35+00:00

There are no feminist subreddits. Reddit hates women

pickmieshaexorcist · 2021-08-22T20:41:49+00:00

The inherent misogyny in posts like this is the absolute assurance that this guy, even though he wasn’t there, knows that these men were just “expressing attraction” in a perfectly normal way.

Women know the difference between quiet, polite appreciation and men being pigs. I’ve never met a woman in my life, including myself, that takes issue with a guy simply appreciating attractiveness and there is a big difference WE NOTICE. There’s this mentality that women are always looking to convict a man of being a pig no matter what; that their judgement is always to be questioned and always in doubt.

aquietsword · 2021-08-22T20:31:48+00:00

Her instincts are right and scrotes are going to talk her out of them.

Ihavenofriends101 · 2021-08-22T20:09:21+00:00

Due to some of the comments, this poor woman thinks she's in the wrong for being uncomfortable. 😔

Catz10000 · 2021-08-22T21:29:26+00:00

Men don't care about us and we are meaningless to them except for what they can get from us. They will steal pleasure from us for their own ends and never take accountability for their actions. They have absolutely no incentive. Misogyny rules the world.

jupitarianrise · 2021-08-22T20:20:26+00:00

I’ve been permanently banned of a feminist subreddit because a man gave bad dating advice (women should chase men) and I basically just told him it only benefitted men.

These subreddits are a joke at it’s either run by men or pickmeishas. If you focus on the woman, actually help her out and don’t gaslight her like everyone else, you get massively downvoted.

boiledgatorade_ · 2021-08-22T21:35:24+00:00

I stopped reading that sub when a) I found out the mods are MEN and b) there is an insane about of dudes larping as women.

saint-jezebel · 2021-08-22T23:14:23+00:00

I agree with her. It’s disgusting. Men literally don’t understand that as a woman, we are aware that a man has flipped, dipped and licked us in their head before they even give a polite hello, so imagine the creeps. It’s all about behavior, which you know is the externalizing of the thoughts and that’s the problem. Her friend is a whole jerk and is trying to justify bad behavior and it’s not flying.

CrepeCraze · 2021-08-22T23:48:07+00:00

Lol This reminds me of when I was being cat called at a gas station the other night. It scared the shit out of me. I was coming home from work at midnight, so I really wasn’t expecting it.

It seems like guys who catcall are delighted that it freaks women out. Am i making that up? I don’t have proof, but honestly why else would three big men cat call a woman alone in the middle of the night?

I guess what I’m saying is - female attraction doesn’t seem as mixed up with fear and control as male attraction can be. Idk.

andwhenwillitbegin · 2021-08-22T20:24:27+00:00

If it was the Feminism/Ask Feminism sub, I was banned from there and also muted for agreeing with a post discussing issues with Libfeminism. 🙃

The sub is a joke. This lady needs to know that so she doesn’t get gaslighted into thinking her views are weird when they are perfectly valid.

hensbanex · 2021-08-22T23:52:31+00:00

now would be a good time to mention the actual feminist subs - fourthwavewomen, pornismisogyny, and femrad are pretty good

throwawaynevermindit · 2021-08-23T01:47:02+00:00

The essence of sexual objectification is sexual treatment of someone without respect to how they, as a subject, feel about being treated sexually in that moment.

In other words, he outed himself as an objectifier the minute she expressed discomfort with other men's behavior and he started defending them.

Realistically, too, this IS about the behavior of these men and not merely about what they're thinking, as if their attraction was really remaining respectful/staying in their heads, she obviously wouldn't be noticing a difference in how they're treating her.

IME it's pretty common for bi women to be more comfortable with women expressing attraction to them than men expressing attraction to them and the reason is that many of the methods of "expressing attraction" that pass as "normal" from men are absolutely revealing of poisonous and misogynistic ways of thinking about women. They make us uncomfortable because the way they think about us IS a threat to us. End of story.

povofme · 2021-08-23T04:30:59+00:00

The difference is men do objectify women when they think of them sexually, they degrade women and fantasize about women in a dehumanizing way. I literally just came across a subreddit for a celebrity and all the comments are about her being a fuck doll or a fuck toy and how “with those dsl she was made to be a submissive fuck toy to be fucked rough” and in one post they all were fantasizing about gang raping her. And much more disgusting stuff.

Seeing that just literally made me never want to be sexualized again by men. I would have 0 problem with men just thinking their hot or wanting to respectfully have sex but they always go to absolutely degrading and objectifying women for no reason and I’m so fucking over it.

Ironsculpture · 2021-08-23T06:03:54+00:00

Why do women seek valuable advice on such matters on a male-dominated site like Reddit? Is it not common knowledge that women and rationality are not easily found here?

It's just a bunch of porn-sick degenerates no woman in her right mind would ask advice from irl, so why does this happen on the internet?

K0rla · 2021-08-23T09:47:54+00:00

As it often happens when women complain about objectification or discrimination, the dude is (purposefully) starting his argument from a false premise.

No one wants to, or is able to, be the thought police. However, if a woman can notice the states so often or for so long that it makes her uncomfortable, it’s not about thoughts anymore, it is about ACTIONS. How is it that bi is lesbian women can see an attractive woman and not make her feel uncomfortable, regardless of what they are thinking, and men “cannot”? And if we mention feeling uncomfortable, cries about the thought police come. Men are so used to women being presented as objects for consumption that it seems almost unnatural to control reactions to us.

Note how she said she feels uncomfortable when she feels men STARING at her in a sexual way, and the friend jumps straight to “you cannot control thoughts!” Anything less than “ew such a pig” is not acceptable, in my opinion. If some men don’t have public manners and another dude does not acknowledge it... red flag.

Lost_Kale90 · 2021-08-23T12:35:31+00:00

I think there's a difference between appreciating beauty and sexualizing it. All sexualizing is objectifying imo. And most often men are sexualizing beauty, which feels dehumanizing. Women know the difference.

Her male friend is a pos. I've stopped asking guys about things like this - from porn to even assault, they operate from a place of entitlement, ignorance and benefit.

Novemberinthechair · 2021-08-23T13:42:01+00:00

Why is she making this so fucking complicated? She doesn't like being leered because it's rapey and makes her feel uncomfortable. Her only mistake was asking for male input.

quiteshall0w · 2021-08-23T20:58:31+00:00

Forget it, there are no feminist subs anymore. All the remaining ones have male supermods and pickme mods. FDS is the only place on reddit with aligning ideas, but it's not solely focused on ideology. There were sub bans earlier this year as well as a mass exodus of women from the "default" feminist subs.

blueribbonskies · 2021-08-23T16:24:32+00:00

Men objectify women as a whole gender, it does not matter if she is specifically attractive or not they will look at every woman's and girls boobs butt body, everything. They do not see us as people they see us as objects, we are sexual objects.

Women on the other hand may only glance momentarily at a man who specifically catches her eye physically, but we do not see him as an object at all. There is a huge difference. Male entitlement as usual is what it comes down to.

Title	Currently getting some downvotes on a FEMINIST subreddit for saying her "friend" probably objectifies women, so that's why he got defensive and is trying to shame her. 🤗
Author	Ihavenofriends101
Upvotes	463
Comments	45
Date	August 22, 2021 8:05 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/p9jt0k/currently_getting_some_downvotes_on_a_feminist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/currently-getting-some-downvotes-on-a-feminist.1060456 https://theredarchive.com/post/1060456

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