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[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie210 points211 points212 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I spent my night reading through the relationship subreddits (cause I have no life, lol) and it just made me sad how many women are in these loveless, twisted and sick relationships thinking they can't leave. What makes it worst are the people in the comments telling them to go through counseling or that they need to "work it out" with their husbands/boyfriends. Dear Lord, just leave. It hurts to see them so defeated but I know most won't listen to anyone and only come on here to rant then log off.
[–]EspionagessFDS Apprentice105 points106 points107 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I KNOW RIGHT I've noticed this too. I think this is why scrotes hate FDS so much. The message that women need to put up with whatever disrespect the husband throws her way is drilled into us by society that many women believe it. They are fed the false lie that if they put up with it they will be kept, and they are painfully surprised when they are cheated on/replaced. If he's this obsessed with a specific type of woman you can bet 100% he's out there looking. (edit: spelling)
[–]LadyGrimesFDS Disciple16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Better to have no life instead of THAT kind of life JFC
[–]PornruinedsocietyFDS Disciple103 points104 points105 points 5 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
I hope she leaves him, leaving my pornsick husband was the best decision and I have no regrets. But now despite having a healthy sex drive, I don't think I could have sex with a man again. I can't look at men without thinking, what depraved stuff have you been wanking over and so they gross me out and I wouldn't want a man to touch me again. I keep having dreams about being with a woman and I have always suspected I'm bisexual, maybe I've just been living my life as a compulsory heterosexual, but either way, men just completely gross me out now.
[–]ragingchumpFDS Newbie32 points33 points34 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Compulsory heterosexual.
What a perfect term.
[–]fdssavedmylifeFDS Newbie26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I feel the exact same way. Just thinking of being emotionally or sexually vulnerable with a man after everything I’ve read on here makes me sick. I don’t see how it’s possible to trust them unless you treat them like children and monitor their electronics. Why do we need to “train” them to treat us well and care about our feelings? It’s exhausting.
[–]FitncurlyFDS Disciple13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m glad you left ❤️. Not to be TMI, but in sharing this sort of thing, and to let you know you’re not alone, I too have recently discovered an attraction to women. If I’m being quite honest with myself though, there were times in the past I should’ve figured. I wonder if latent bisexuality/homosexuality is common after dealing with men? I love my husband, and he’s become amazing, but my past with males in my life—-including early tough times with him—-and knowing what I know maybe has turned my attraction. I am still quite sexually attracted to him, but I’m pretty sure that if something were to happen to our marriage (Goddess forbid), I will seek out only women for romance. After my lifetime and learning and knowing what I know, he’s the only male I’m giving a chance—and only because he’s been proving himself. But if he slips into being LV (because one can never stop vetting as people change!), then yup, I’m done with males.
[–]relationship_redditFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've thought about being with women at this point. I'm not sexually or romantically attracted to them, and I would never mislead a woman about my intentions, but just the thought of getting to be intimate with someone you could feel safe with, who understands you, who wouldn't nitpick your body so hard because she has the same parts as you, sounds so nice.
I can't imagine being with a man at this point either. I know that if I ever am, I will never make the mistake of letting my guard down again.
[–]FluffandRaincloudsRuthless Strategist208 points209 points210 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I wonder if she feels like she cannot leave (the devil you know vs whatever else is out there). Why get married if you are going to be tortured every second with this?
[–]The_kilt_liftaFDS Newbie171 points172 points173 points 5 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link
I know your question is rhetorical but I feel it hit the nail on the head and opened up a great discussion.
It’s a constant tug-of-war with yourself, on top of the self-esteem blows and self-doubt (for believing a liar or putting up with this shit knowing it’s wrong).
You firmly believe “this guy was supposed to be my best friend. The one who wouldn’t betray me. And he has. Every guy out there is like this. May as well stay / sunk cost fallacy”
also, if you’re married, more often than not your families are blended. His family is yours and vise versa. Divorce that you know is overdue also means you sever ties with these other people you’ve grown to like / love. Throw away the man, cool. Throw away a family, IMO for some people that shit is worse.
we live in this society where porn is so prevalent that porn sick ED is extremely common and it’s normalized. It’s not seen as a bad thing. The victim in the relationship is told “you’re mad over porn? Wow you’re a prude. What a stupid thing to be mad about. You’re not even religious but this is a very “Christian” mindset. You don’t have control over what someone does with their body, you control freak.” Etc.
I was told all of this when I felt my lowest.
Dealing with the pain is one thing, plus being shit on for even having the emotions?
As you can tell, I speak from experience. The family thing is the hardest part. I don’t have a great loving family. My husband’s family treats me like their own. Divorcing the family is the hardest part for me.
[–]midwesternwindsFDS Newbie48 points49 points50 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This, plus women are taught singlehood is shameful for our sex, because it supposedly means we couldn't obtain a man, the sole indication of our worth as people. So women are terrified of being alone.
[–][deleted] 25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It’s so important to teach young girls that being single is okay and in fact you could thrive really well as a single person
[–]BabyBlankieieieieieFDS Apprentice9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And that you should — especially important to obtain that before you involve a man in your life.
[–]LevelTurbulentFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m so sorry you’re going through that with the family. I completely get it. People tell me I should be happy I’m rid of my husband because I definitely needed a divorce but they don’t realize I don’t miss him at all. It’s losing the family that rips my guts out. It’s so hard. Hopefully it gets better with time.
[–]pinkcloudzzzFDS Newbie192 points193 points194 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Yep, that’s what porn addicts and their depravity do to their girlfriends and wives. I’ve been there. You end up hating your body and then yourself deeply. Suicidal thoughts. Self-harm.
Never date a porn addict.
[–]LePetitChibiFDS Newbie96 points97 points98 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same, I’d be lying If I said that his words didn’t affect me to this day.
While I am no longer dealing with the super dark thoughts anymore, I still occasionally glance into the mirror and think “maybe he’s right about my body”.
But then I remember that he actually looks like the protagonist from chicken little (down to the fucking hair line), was overweight af and just fucking ugly. And my bad thoughts go away.
It’s always the ugly ones who criticise you the most...
[–]BashRunesFDS Apprentice50 points51 points52 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My ex's obsession with 80-100 lb women made me develop an eating disorder. I know it's not possible for me to ever get that size because of my lipedema, but I couldn't ever seem to get through to myself. Going on three years out and I still have those women drilled into my head. Porn cuts deep.
[–]fdssavedmylifeFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
For me, I knew he had a “type” and they didn’t look like me, but I didn’t know what was different. At my size and shape, I could be too thin for some guys, too thick for others. So it turned into this amorphous self hatred because I didn’t even know what was “wrong” with me in his eyes. I explained this to him; he didn’t care. They’re so selfish and cruel.
[–]relationship_redditFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I know what you mean. His type was either curvy woman or super-thin teenager. I was neither curvy nor super thin. I ended up just undereating myself into the underweight category, realizing it made me look worse, and then trying to gain it back so I could try to be curvy (even though that's not my body type).
[–]souredskittlesFDS Disciple42 points43 points44 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m glad I left before it got to this point. But something about it rots you from the inside out. And I wasn’t even insecure about my looks.
[–]relationship_redditFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I'm still recovering from it as we speak. It's crazy the level of damage an addict can do to you.
[–]pinkcloudzzzFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’m so sorry girl. I feel your pain.
[–]relationship_redditFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
❤
[–]weekend111FDS Newbie86 points87 points88 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
If she posted this on any of the mainstream subs, she’s gonna be told she’s the problem and that she should be watching porn together with her pornsick fucko husband :/
[–]PornruinedsocietyFDS Disciple74 points75 points76 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Urgh watching porn togetger to 'improve' your sex life. 😕
Edit If people need to introduce porn into their sex life, then their sex life is already over and dead. I always thought introducing porn was code for 'im a porn addict and can't get hard without out it', or 'i'm bored of you and you don't arrouse me anymore.' If a man wants to introduce porn, don't hang around, it's insulting and degrading. I'd rather him flat out say he's not turned on by me or attracted to me.
[–]BashRunesFDS Apprentice46 points47 points48 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"Watch it with him! It's hot! My girlfriend loves it! Don't be so insecure! You don't want him to leave you for someone who will, do you?"
[–]bambina9264 points65 points66 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Why are we so conditioned to make men happy? I bet under this inadequacy complex lies the unconscious urge to “satisfy your man”. I hate how the society forces us that kind of mindset. We don’t have to satisfy no limp dick.
[–]daisy_0720FDS Disciple35 points36 points37 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Both men and woman are socially conditioned to put men's happiness above everything else.
[–]NottodayScroteFDS Apprentice39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And had she been "thick" he would have cheated with a smaller woman "because he was bored" or some other bs. My ex was a porn/drug addict with a fettish for well endowed women and to everyones surprise his mistress was tiny, thin and flat all around. Men never appreciate what they have. Just throw him out
[+][deleted] 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]karaokekillerFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's really really hard to leave an abusive relationship. She sounds like she's on her way to it but it can take time
[–]souredskittlesFDS Disciple50 points51 points52 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Guaranteed this will be you one day if you marry a man who watches porn
[–]Eat_Pant_b0ssFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nothing crushes your spirit like humiliating yourself over and over again to prove that you're desirable to some cruel idiot man
[–]IAteTheDragonPickmeisha™️40 points41 points42 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This ship has sailed. No amount of 'soberiety' time would ever console me. This man's deepest desire is fucking thick women, he resist the urge actively every day, he still wants to have them, dreams about them. This is sheer torture for the poor wife. And the guy is already sullied, the end.
[–]Twolipz_78FDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If he ever did get one he probably wouldn’t be able to get it up and if he did get it up it wouldn’t last very long, imo.
[–]vintagexroseFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is really sad, she seems miserable :( if I were her I would leave, the damage is already done, she shouldn’t have to continue/deal with the self torture.
[–]TheSuspiciousChardFDS Apprentice13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When you see posts like this can you please send them to r/PornFreeRelationships
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I relate to her so much. The difference is I ended up getting surgeries and one did not go well and maimed me. The surgeon even did something against my consent and the law where I live does not hold him accountable, although it would in other places. Please don’t ask me what surgery. The point is the relationship with the porn addict ended years ago and still, I’ve been wanting to die for years. Please don’t date these men.
[–]azureangel35FDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm so sorry you went through that sis. Do you have a support system? I struggle with depression too.
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not really. After this same ex berated me for not getting over my depression (from being disfigured and violated) for HIM (can you smell the narcissism?), among other behaviours from him and others, I don’t really see a point nor do I have the energy for more than anything that’s surface level.
[–]blackwidoweFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Please tell me someone directed her to a different sub?! ( assuming this was relationship advice)
[–]TheSuspiciousChardFDS Apprentice17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Please direct women like this to r/PornFreeRelationships
[–]The_kilt_liftaFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Maybe /r/loveafterporn. I comment there a lot to try and help out. Been there, felt like that.
[–]TheSuspiciousChardFDS Apprentice18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
That sub is run by a trump supporter “therapist” who charges women to convince them to stay and work on their marriage with addicts
Oh they also ban women for saying this is a feminist issue.
Send them to r/PornFreeRelationships and I really hope you edit your comment
[–]SpicyScroteRoasteryFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh, I was not aware of that. I'll be unfollowing that sub...
[–]TheSuspiciousChardFDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you. And spread the word please!
[–]blackwidoweFDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hopefully someone sent her there.
People get ripped apart on relationship advice for being against porn. It's a joke.
[–]abstractsadgurlFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Despite what fds says I actually like this sub they have helped me through a lot of crap that I dealt with - body dysorphia thoughts/pain/sadness. And they haven't pushed the notion for me to stay in my relationship actually the opposite. Especially because I joined so early on when there wasn't many followers there and there wasn't a safe space to talk on reddit about porn's destruction. There's only limited spaces on these websites that actually have an agreement against porn. So I may not agree exactly with everything that the sub stands for but will agree that we stand against porn - and that to me is huge
[–]CrazyPaineFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's bad that will hurt your self esteem in yourself so much. It's bad that it will wreck you and doubting yourself especially with yourself and your body.
[–]iaintgonnacallyouFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And I bet he’s gaslighting the hell out of her for feeling this way.
[–]Sensitive-Ad8553FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This post really hits home for me, I just want to give her a hug 🥺❤️
I imagine when they're having sex, he stares off into space while dumping all of the grossest parts of sex onto her, with none of the benefits.
[–]Lavender_flowFDS Disciple3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
DIvorce this fucking clown already. He is PATHETIC and DISGUSTING. You think any of these girls wants to fuck him or touch him with 10 feet pole? HELL NO. He is nothing. JESUS. This woman needs to level up and smell the turd (her husband). She is trauma bonded and think he is something he is not. No amount of therapy will change how pathetic he is. Wake up sis.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is what porn addiction does to women. It's happened to me before -- Never again. I'm falling in love with myself lately as the thought of even *dating* is starting to become a non-option.
Romance is so dead now that porn has been normalized. Men actually seem PROUD of watching/using porn these days. It's like a big giant cult and those who refuse to drink the kool-aid are guilted and shamed.
[–]Maude2010FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My heart breaks for this woman.
[–]level_up_alwaysFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
cOmMuNiCaTiOn right ladies?! she just needs to try harder and stop being such a frigid bitch! doesn't she know that's just fAnTaSy?!? /s
it's so unbelievable how we can know in our heart and intuitively what we need to do (she knows this is killing her soul and needs to leave like.. yesterday) but the social conditioning to be rIdE oR dIe makes us rot from the inside out
[–]BungalowBootieBitchFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Someone get her far away from him my goodness. I don't think her current environment will allow her to heal. She's so deeply hurt.
[–]abstractsadgurlFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've been there. Never again.
[–]relationship_redditFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Poor thing. I had the exact same problem. He wanted fat asses, and even if I gained 100lbs, I still wouldn't have one, because that's not how my fat is distributed. It is so crushing to your self-esteem to know you don't have the type of body that is popular at the moment, and to have that confirmed by the person you love.
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[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie210 points211 points212 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]EspionagessFDS Apprentice105 points106 points107 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LadyGrimesFDS Disciple16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PornruinedsocietyFDS Disciple103 points104 points105 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]ragingchumpFDS Newbie32 points33 points34 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fdssavedmylifeFDS Newbie26 points27 points28 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FitncurlyFDS Disciple13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]relationship_redditFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FluffandRaincloudsRuthless Strategist208 points209 points210 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]The_kilt_liftaFDS Newbie171 points172 points173 points
(6 children) | Copy Link
[–]midwesternwindsFDS Newbie48 points49 points50 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 25 points26 points27 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]BabyBlankieieieieieFDS Apprentice9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LevelTurbulentFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pinkcloudzzzFDS Newbie192 points193 points194 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]LePetitChibiFDS Newbie96 points97 points98 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BashRunesFDS Apprentice50 points51 points52 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fdssavedmylifeFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]relationship_redditFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]souredskittlesFDS Disciple42 points43 points44 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]relationship_redditFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]pinkcloudzzzFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]relationship_redditFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]weekend111FDS Newbie86 points87 points88 points
(3 children) | Copy Link
[–]PornruinedsocietyFDS Disciple74 points75 points76 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]BashRunesFDS Apprentice46 points47 points48 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bambina9264 points65 points66 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]daisy_0720FDS Disciple35 points36 points37 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NottodayScroteFDS Apprentice39 points40 points41 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]karaokekillerFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]souredskittlesFDS Disciple50 points51 points52 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Eat_Pant_b0ssFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IAteTheDragonPickmeisha™️40 points41 points42 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Twolipz_78FDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]vintagexroseFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheSuspiciousChardFDS Apprentice13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]azureangel35FDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]blackwidoweFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheSuspiciousChardFDS Apprentice17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]The_kilt_liftaFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheSuspiciousChardFDS Apprentice18 points19 points20 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]SpicyScroteRoasteryFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]TheSuspiciousChardFDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]blackwidoweFDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]CrazyPaineFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]iaintgonnacallyouFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]level_up_alwaysFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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