Ladies, please do not sleep with a man early on. This is what will happen.

ilikeskittles44 · 2021-11-18T22:42:53+00:00

These men aren't stupid. He didn't just find out the *spark* wasn't there right after he had sex with her, he knew it was not beforehand. Still, he decided to sleep with her anyway. Now, he does not want to deal with the confrontation. My, my, looks like he still wants to retain his image of being a good guy, the consequences of his actions? He never gave a shit about that. All about the opportunity to use her, now, how does he retain his good image and leave the door potentially open? Pig.

dembar126 · 2021-11-18T23:43:56+00:00

In the comments he said it was because the clothes she wears made her body look better than it was and when she got naked she didn't look as hot as he thought she would. Lmao.

This is a reminder to never relax your physical standards for men, or try to look past their physical flaws because they're sure as fuck not going to do the same for you.

myeggsarebig · 2021-11-18T23:10:14+00:00

Hit it off. Sparks. Enthusiastic. Replace with horny

throwawaynevermindit · 2021-11-18T22:47:30+00:00

It's not "being honest" (with her, with yourself) if you wait until after sex to do it, because you know that if you're truthful (with her or with yourself) sex will be off the table. That's what's called "deceptive" and "kinda coercive" and "sexually exploitative."

Rejecting her gently doesn't count toward your good guy points if you do it after you've gotten what you wanted at her physical and emotional expense, under questionable pretenses. And 1 awkward sex does not make a person change their mind that fast if they are actually interested, so if the pretense is serious interest, that is questionable as hell. If this guy is really so easily confused he shouldn't even be dating. You have an obligation to others to figure your shit out better than this before taking your pants off.

The comments really killing me are the ones taking self-help mantras intended to help people with overactive empathy maintain boundaries, and miscontextualizing them to help callous users dodge accountability: "You're not responsible for her feelings and reactions."

Bub no, in this instance he is both causally and morally responsible for any damage he does her, because his behavior toward her has been inappropriate and/or irresponsible. We can only hope he gets hit with blowback from this charge that HE planted and HE is setting off.

Men will do anything to avoid being seen as the bad guy EXCEPT act ethically I stg.

Zeniite · 2021-11-18T21:55:58+00:00

I’ve been telling my girlfriends this for the past few months and explaining the logic behind it. It’s not about having an arbitrary rule about holding off on having sex just for the sake of having a rule: it’s to weed out the guys who are only after sex and to allow yourself to keep a clear head as you’re getting to know them.

europoor24 · 2021-11-18T21:28:19+00:00

funny enough how it's always right after sex

arnezuara · 2021-11-18T21:45:12+00:00

The “spark” was not there in first place, he simply used her to get off, and now he’s bragging about it on Reddit.

This is why a man should earn the opportunity to hold your hand, let alone have sex with you.

lansburysoda · 2021-11-18T22:29:58+00:00

Men will literally talk themselves in circles to avoid accountability and not “be the bad guy.” They are never “the bad guy,” there is always some bullshit justification they pull out of their ass to explain away their shitty, manipulative behavior. The time to not “string her along” was BEFORE you slept with her.

Dstar538888 · 2021-11-19T03:59:42+00:00

Here come the " I slept with my husband after 5 minutes and now we're married" pick me's...

Trickle92 · 2021-11-19T01:03:31+00:00

I learned my lesson never to sleep with a man until I’ve gone out 8-10 times with him, with solid effort on his part. The last time a man tried to convince me to sleep with him on the third date, his attitude completely changed when I told him I don’t sleep with men I’m not in a relationship with. Until that point he was head over heels with me (supposedly), coming on strong. Refuse a man sex and his real colors come out. Never, ever will I sleep with a man on the third date. That’s too early. I regret even fooling around with him. Thank god I didn’t have sex. He is disgusting to me now.

BookwormJane · 2021-11-18T22:20:08+00:00

"I even broke off contact with another girl I had a date with to give this a real shot"

Wow, what a great dude.

He's not even ashamed to say that.

Maleddie · 2021-11-18T23:24:09+00:00

Oh god. I'm ashamed to say I was this woman recently and felt a horrible stomach twist as I read this.

I'm just so angry that women have to police sex because men behave so awfully. Unfortunately there is nothing to be done, so I'll have to learn my lesson and move on.

akashyaboa · 2021-11-18T22:35:49+00:00

"Not that enthusiastic" all of a sudden right after sleeping with her. Couldn't have figured it out and communicated it earlier ? How odd

bringtwizzlers · 2021-11-19T01:45:24+00:00

This is why you don't use Tinder. It's literally like a sick mobile game that men play when they're bored.

apommom · 2021-11-18T22:28:53+00:00

He basically admitted in the comments that he was not attracted to her body as he thought he would be. They cannot help but idealize and objectify. Guaranteed he is pornsick

quasarbar · 2021-11-18T23:06:23+00:00

If she had ghosted him after sex he'd be desperately stalking her.

I 100% agree that women should not sleep with men early on, unless all the woman wants is no-strings sex. However, may I just say that I absolutely despise this feature that [many] men have. It's so, so shitty.

ironglaciers · 2021-11-19T02:28:16+00:00

I was on a third date with a guy with whom I got along well with (we talked for hours on our first date), but when he figured put I wasn't going to have sex with him then he never texted me again. Lmaoooo. What a joke. Had he demonstrated his continued interest and done things that I liked, then eventually, sure. But since I didn't give him thr gratification he wanted early on, he told on himself. Boy, bye.

Softrito · 2021-11-18T22:25:34+00:00

Man, men really be out here scamming women like it's a full-time job🙉🙈🙊

WCAttorney · 2021-11-18T22:18:49+00:00

That's just one example of why you should value yourself higher - they won't.

jijitsu-princess · 2021-11-18T22:32:32+00:00

What do you wanna bet the girl he initially broke it off with wasn’t putting out?

Mayonegg420 · 2021-11-18T22:46:36+00:00

VesperLynd- · 2021-11-19T01:14:35+00:00

Why would he even care? We all know this is just a bs lie and he just used her for sex. Why care all of a sudden to let her off nicely? Hes just trying to collect brownie points from other guys and pickme‘s for cOmunIcATinG i bet.

Tiny_Equivalent9214 · 2021-11-18T23:50:02+00:00

I read that thread. His defense in all of the comments is “But sexual compatibility is SO important in a relationship. I HAD to sleep with her before realizing she’s not the one”.

The extent to which they will go to lie and deflect is astonishing

rainbowhelix · 2021-11-18T22:32:49+00:00

"Politely turn her down" lol. There's nothing polite about wanting to get rid of someone literally right after you sleep with them. What he means is how can I escape guilt for ditching her and still feel like a Nice Guy and/or how can I avoid a freakout because she might go CRaZy now. My only hope is that she does freak out and make him miserable for a bit. Women are way too polite to LVM like this. Call it out.

ChipmunkNo1819 · 2021-11-19T01:08:43+00:00

Why even date a man who would otherwise lose interest in you for having sex?

SunflowerinVirgo0903 · 2021-11-19T01:41:34+00:00

Does this mean he didn't enjoy the sex???? If he loved the sex would he have stayed? Not that it matters the fact remains don't fuck them. But I am curious if they expect a specific experience and if it doesn't happen they bounce. It takes time to learn someones body.

Edit: saw he didn't like her body 🤦🏽‍♀️

enthusiasticaf · 2021-11-18T22:06:05+00:00

The only person I’ve seriously long-term dated, I did not sleep with until we had been seeing each other for almost two months. It was only because I had my period at first and then some health issues that meant I couldn’t for a few weeks… otherwise I would have.

A few years into dating he mentioned to me that he was glad I didn’t let him hit it early on (as if it was intentional lol) because he got to know me and actually like me and prob wouldn’t have otherwise. At the time I didn’t think much of it. But now?? OMG what a disgusting thing to say to me and a huge red flag. I still can’t believe he actually told me that. Should have dumped him then but I took it as a compliment somehow. Ew. Lessons learned.

melympia · 2021-11-18T22:26:48+00:00

Well, the advice he'd get from me if he wants to "do it right" is to not sleep with someone that early only to dump her.

aquietsword · 2021-11-18T21:59:50+00:00

Scrotes are so predictable

MsXxSelfDestructxX · 2021-11-19T04:35:35+00:00

of course he has to ask reddit cause he knows everyones gonna side with this scrotes bullcrap, anything to make himself feel better.

GodILoveTheEnglish · 2021-11-19T02:44:22+00:00

Goodness, this really makes me so… I don’t even know the word. Sad? Angered? Whatever it is, it’s not good. Ladies, this is why we vet and wait before we give intimacy. That doesn’t only include sex - don’t give a man your anything until he’s shown that he’s worth it and going to do the same!

Bonds_Girl · 2021-11-18T21:59:42+00:00

Another case of your standard community penis boy outing himself on Reddit.

They call it pump and dump; he put his time in with those first magical three dates. 🙄

It was probably more like inflate, pump and dump. Cuz you all know most of them have ED and are getting penis implant pumps 😂😂😂

Anti_Drama · 2021-11-19T00:55:46+00:00

I don't want to be an outcast in this thread by what I'm about to say but this is why I am afraid to have sex before marriage. I don't want to take a chance ending up in a situation like this. I don't even need religious reasons for it.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-11-19T01:52:40+00:00

Even as a woman I lose interest if I sleep with a man early. It just ruins it. Waiting is super sexy and I have learned to respect the wait. Build the connection. It's so much better that way.

Determinedblonde · 2021-11-18T23:47:47+00:00

There is no politely about it

BasieSkanks · 2021-11-19T01:24:17+00:00

Post nut clarity is not a thing. It’s used to justify men pumping and dumping women they knew they didn’t want from the jump. Men know if they are serious about a woman very early on.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-11-19T05:19:52+00:00

Oh yeah. The amount of text vomit: she's nice, it was great blah blah.

This man wouldn't admit to himself he just wanted a hole to slide his dick into. And he wasn't upfront with her either. He must have future faked and must have told her how he said no to another to be with her.

There's nothing on defense of this trashcan man. Most men on tinder want ac sexual encounter not a date. If they tell women that all they want to do is pump and dump them, the chances for the woman to keep going are pretty non existent. This is why they lie and manipulate women and drop enough future taking to make the women think they are on the same page. When I'm fact, they are not.

A sexual encounter=/= a date

A sexual relationship =/= a love relationship / partnership

Most "dates" are actually prolonged sexual encounters. Most relationships out there are sexual relationships ( more like a steady fuckbuddy who will charge you rent and evenly split expenses). And most of the time, men don't even want marriage (they think it's stupid) or children, (they will think them annoying and will not take care of them 24/7 along with the mother, but will leave it all to the mother, cheat on the mother at her most vulnerable, when she's pregnant or after she's given birth, and eschew any adult responsibility); they just think they want these things because men are cowards and lack the courage to admit to themselves that all they want is to live a carefree bachelor life with plenty of sexual variety. Only when they are faced with their own mortality and are getting old, they would want to settle down but with a young, fertile and rich woman who will play mommy bangmaid incubator for their faulty genes and caretaker to them.

Because men are cowards and in denial, women have to do double work to vet.

poison_snacc · 2021-11-19T00:46:18+00:00

hey guys, don’t forget the importance of sExUaL cOmPaTiBiLiTy 🤡

TheC_ntHeLivesWith · 2021-11-19T02:25:22+00:00

So she looked perfectly fuckable in clothes, but naked she was a total turn off? That is such bullshit. He only wanted sex from the start, she didn’t fuck like a porn star, so he’s dropping her. These types of posts are fucking hilarious to me, because he thinks he has everyone fooled into believing he’s really just a nice guy, and she’s the villain for tricking him with her spanx and push-up bra. What a tool.

jkklfdasfhj · 2021-11-19T14:20:55+00:00

I'm sure NONE of the comments were guilting him to staying with the nice girl even if he really didn't want to.

jp2117515 · 2021-11-18T22:53:22+00:00

Post nut regrets

TigreImpossibile · 2021-11-18T23:49:23+00:00

Am I the only one thinking that maybe the sex just wasn't good and she probably agrees and won't care? Lol.

I NEVER have sex to secure commitment. That said, I only have sex if I really really want the sex, I'm really into it, I really desire this man and I want to enjoy him physically. Which is rare, in this day and age of low social skills and zero finesse, grace or charm.

I do think it's generally good advice to wait to have sex, but you can wait to have sex and still get dumped. Happens all the time.

MagnfiqueMaleficent · 2021-11-20T05:34:10+00:00

Never mind the first girl whom she simply ghosted without remorse. 🙄

If a man ghosts you, this is EXACTLY why. He found someone else he thought he could fuck with.

Story- my neighbor was married and happy and one day her husband left her without any indication of why. She was heartbroken and always crying over him, saying she would’ve gone to couples therapy to fix whatever was wrong. She had no idea there were any problems in the relationship. She tries to contact him a few times but his phone was disconnected and he took down all his social media. It was as if he’d vanished. Then after five years, she finally heard from one of his friends the truth- he’d been cheating on her and gotten the other woman pregnant and left my friend to marry the other woman. But instead of telling her this so she’d have closure, he ghosted her. His wife. 👻

Men would rather us worry they’d been murdered by the mob than own up to their their dirty deeds or say sorry.

Aocwannabe · 2021-11-18T21:39:59+00:00

Men are not thinking clearly before sex. Women do not think clearly after sex.

Japanese-Spaghetti · 2021-11-21T00:48:03+00:00

They ALWAYS leave if you have sex before marriage. Marriage was partly invented to legally require men to stay after sex and provide. I won’t ever have sex again outside of wedlock, there is zero purpose. They use you up and throw you away

Ladies, please do not sleep with a man early on. This is what will happen.

Comments

normalizeconsistency2021

Title	Ladies, please do not sleep with a man early on. This is what will happen.
Author	crapcakes0987
Upvotes	1148
Comments	175
Date	November 18, 2021 9:08 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qwznp4/ladies_please_do_not_sleep_with_a_man_early_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/ladies-please-do-not-sleep-with-a-man-early-on.1083415 https://theredarchive.com/post/1083415