I need advice on how to respond and keep my composure lmao. I thought I deleted all my dating apps because I felt burnt out and this person found me (my name is unique so not that hard to find me on instagram). I have school/work going on anyways to "make friends"

lylithian · 2021-11-14T05:00:05+00:00

No response needed. Just delete and block. You don't owe anyone your time, especially a complete stranger.

Platipus6 · 2021-11-14T05:45:32+00:00

Society has gone to hell if men think that cyber-stalking and this level of creepiness and intrusion is an acceptable way to find a partner.

Quirky-Orange1529 · 2021-11-14T09:41:07+00:00

Serious question, have you ever been stalked before? I have, and it was the worst six months of my life, I almost died and honestly, this text is beyond threatening to me. The obsession with you and SEEKING you out is how it started with me. It's so creepy and you never owe ANYONE your time, so don't even respond at all to start with, and please just stop texting him. I'm sure you are nice but who cares if he dislikes you. Sorry to be harsh lol but I still have panic attacks and want you to be ok.

MajesticSkyPachyderm · 2021-11-14T07:31:24+00:00

No need to respond. Block and delete. It this happens again, don't reply at all, go straight to block and delete.

herbivorouscarnivore · 2021-11-14T05:24:22+00:00

“I’m not looking for anything in particular”

Boy, how you lie! This is code for looking for sex.

all_or_nothing_bet · 2021-11-14T06:00:58+00:00

How creepy!

Fantastic-Anybody295 · 2021-11-14T07:56:43+00:00

Should've never responded. Guys like this send out thousands of messages. You're just putting yourself on their radar if you reply.

Betty_Bottle · 2021-11-14T06:55:01+00:00

I used to get this in my OLD days. I also have a unique name. I'd get guys send me a message on the apps and then when I didn't reply they'd message me on Facebook like that was going to change my mind or something 🤷🏼‍♀️

2021-11-14T05:17:44+00:00

Just block and move on. It’s ridiculous behaviour to stalk a stranger you’re attracted to, to their Instagram from OLD, and then when they respectfully decline- offer to be friends??? Nah. He’s a creep in your DMs. No one could fault you for blocking him.

SmootherThanAStorm · 2021-11-14T05:19:06+00:00

This is completely in appropriate Block.

Guyincognito9876 · 2021-11-14T05:44:46+00:00

shudder

kolsen92 · 2021-11-14T10:58:51+00:00

When guys “find” you outside apps…. I genuinely want to ask them how they think this is a good idea or ok. And then have the decency to ask you if you want to be “friends?” Gtfo

Abdullazan · 2021-11-14T12:03:35+00:00

red (: flag (:

Nice_Dish1992 · 2021-11-14T07:30:43+00:00

Always use a fake name on dating apps for me

Level-upd · 2021-11-14T05:05:52+00:00

I would literally write “I’m not interested, please don’t contact me again.” Like he is creepy and the only reason I see for being polite is in the case that he turns out to be some stalker type- which he mildly is. I guess you might say “Thanks for the compliment of offering your friendship but at this point I have to deal with my own life and I am not interested in dating or making any new friends. Please don’t contact me again” and block. Or just block.

apommom · 2021-11-14T13:18:58+00:00

Look, you have to block, you can’t respond to these guys even once. If the answer is no, it’s no, you don’t have to communicate that to them. Just block.

Softrito · 2021-11-14T06:43:22+00:00

"I am not looking to meet new people." That's it. No thank yous, no nothing. What I learned from chatting online with men is that they try to worm around your resistance, especially if you use female-coded niceties.

writetobeme · 2021-11-14T06:00:17+00:00

“No.”

relampagos_shawty · 2021-11-14T05:50:27+00:00

I would just ignore it

QueenRoseyPosey · 2021-11-14T08:44:05+00:00

It’s perfectly fine not to respond - you’ve made it clear you’re not dating anymore, and I think it’s pretty clear this person is trying to hook you as a “friend” and will essentially bait-and-switch. If you feel the need to respond, maybe try a succinct message like “Thank you for the offer, but I’m not looking to meet new people. Best of luck!” This sounds polite enough that it is unlikely to make him angry, and you won’t be tripping over yourself trying to explain why you don’t want to see him.

Buttercup5555 · 2021-11-14T15:10:15+00:00

You are being way too nice. This guy actively searched your name outside the app, is open about it and is persistent after you said no. I personally am alarmed

ctrlcutie · 2021-11-14T04:58:00+00:00

His instagram is private too so I can't even bond with this dude until I follow him? Not that I want to! I need a firm and polite (?) (almost PR response lmao) way to tell this dude stop talking to me. Like it feels odd typing "no I don't want to get to know you random stranger."

AyemHerself · 2021-11-14T15:16:40+00:00

You don't. Anything you say will give him more material to work with and an excuse to keep messaging you. He's not going to listen to no. Just block him.

extraodi · 2021-11-14T15:49:24+00:00

Advice on how to respond? Just don’t. You were nice the first time, and he’s still trying to talk to you. I hate guys who push boundaries. Also, it’s likely he has a queue of messages that he sends to women Instagram.

I don’t understand why they go outside of a OLD dating app to talk. That feels like a invasion of privacy.

waddamelone · 2021-11-14T16:26:41+00:00

Change your name on OLD if you ever go back. Thats what I did cause sqruotez always do this SHIT.

What made them think that I wanted to speak to them on FB after ignoring/ghosting them on OLD? No one will ever know.

iheartnoodlez · 2021-11-14T17:14:54+00:00

PSA - I'm not sure that deleting the OLD app actually removes your profile. I have heard of OLD companies keeping women's ghost profiles around to lure men in. Ugh.

Delete all your pics first or replace with something benign. Then delete your account, usually hidden in settings. THEN delete the app.

NitzMitzTrix · 2021-11-14T15:36:57+00:00

Either ignore him or block him.

If you simply HAVE to reply, go with something like "fuck off".

lolmemberberries · 2021-11-14T17:01:23+00:00

Block and delete. No response is a response.

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