Is marriage worth it anymore?

Nearby-Armadillo · 2020-03-29T12:03:28+00:00

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trettles · 2020-03-29T07:33:09+00:00

Not for me. There are only about 5% of men who I think would be high value enough to bother with. That 5% are definitely not interested in me, and tend to settle down early.

At 33, there seems to be an abundance of single dads, cheaters, man-babies, abusers, drug addicts, gamblers and red pill types.

I’d much rather die alone.

Ms-scientist · 2020-03-29T17:01:19+00:00

Research shows that women are worse off and men better off in marriage.

I think it depends based on specific details of your life. I'm an attractive, highly educated, successful woman. Because men of my equal have so many pickmes throwing themselves at them, it's hard to find HVM that are mature enough to look for an equal instead of the pickmes that bolster egos. I'm not sure I will ever find a partner that is worth it.

I was engaged to a HVM once and that has raised my bar not to settle because I know it's out there. Unfortunately for us, he became very ill and was not able to continue the life we planned. Before you call me a terrible person, I fought to stay by his side through it. However, the guilt ended up contributing to his declining health.

penelopekitty · 2020-03-29T13:22:53+00:00

I was married for 20 years. The only benefit I received was the ability to accrue financial assets more easily, especially home ownership, and share living expenses. Other than that, no, it's not worth it.

This may be an unpopular opinion but I don't think having children in this day and age is a very wise thing to do. If you are young you may not realize it but things in the world are going south - fast. Your children will not have the opportunities you had and in fact will be left with a big mess on every front.

I did not have children and I'm very happy about that. My friends who are mothers quite often tell me if they knew what having children was really going to be like they wouldn't do it again. I believe them.

If you must have children I would only do it if your financial position is rock solid on your own. I think the ideal way for children to be raised would be by a small group of women living communally and helping each other. Like a sister wives thing but without the scrote.

Saitschik · 2020-03-29T10:33:03+00:00

It was never worth it. Women are programmed to find their one and only and usually end up miserable. Live your life and take it lightly.

dzgata · 2020-03-29T07:21:26+00:00

Imo, it’s the only form of relationship worth my time. I date with the intention of finding an amazing husband. However, I would choose being single in a heartbeat over a sad marriage with a LVM who disrespects me.

Healthy beautiful marriage> Single > miserable sad excuse of a marriage

Yianna_F · 2020-03-29T07:23:32+00:00

It depends on the kind of marriage and the kind of person you get married to! You need a "Only HVM Need Apply" and "Serious Applications Only" mentality!

Marriage was never really "worth" it for women historically! It has always been transactional in nature. So, the "anymore" part of your question is not relevant :-)

givemegems · 2020-03-29T11:58:18+00:00

It depends on the country. Check your country's laws and statistics. Do the laws protect you more if you get married? FI: tax perks, healthcare perks, widower pay... would alimony laws work in your favour or against you? Is it easy to access divorce if you need it? Also, check statistics about how marriage affects women's employement: in my country married women without children earn less than married women with children or single women (with kids or not).

TheOGJammies · 2020-03-29T07:38:41+00:00

Yes, with the right man absolutely. Your children will be healthier, you will be less stressed financially and physically. Marriage is also a great foundation for building wealth. In the US, a lot of immigrant groups rise out of poverty by running small family businesses.

If done with the right man, marriage can absolutely be rewarding. But, it’s HVM or bust. It’s not worth it with a LVM, at all, ever. LVM are a liability, HVM are a clear asset that you can reap rewards from for years.

Nearby-Armadillo · 2020-03-29T15:42:56+00:00

Read your history. Marriage has never been a good bargain for women.

2020-03-29T16:02:05+00:00

Nope. Getting tied down isn't worth it.

vowelsareimportant · 2020-03-29T13:38:14+00:00

I go back and forth on that. It would take a lot to get me down the aisle again. I would love to have a good man help me raise my daughter, ease my financial burdens, split cooking and cleaning duties, and hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay. But I can’t find anyone good enough or trustworthy enough to fit the job description. It’s better to do it really alone, than risk doing it alone anyway with someone there.

7102a · 2020-03-29T14:38:22+00:00

Hell no. You couldn't PAY me to legally bind myself to a man. Marriage has always been a terrible deal for women. It's not even just about LVM, although that definitely has to to with it. The entire institution of marriage is set up to make women submissive and subordinate to a man. It's a way to trap yourself. And it's not particularly enjoyable for the men either honestly. It's just an outdated tradition that needs to die in my opinion, which I admit is probably an unpopular one.

livingup2020 · 2020-03-29T15:04:48+00:00

If you marry for money yes

throwaway23004345 · 2020-03-29T18:51:19+00:00

Unless a guy is super rich and is covering expenses then probably not. Traditionally marriage was looked as an economic proposition. Now a days plenty of women have careers. I won’t marry a guy who doesn’t atleast make 150k+ and has lots of savings

level_up_always · 2020-03-29T18:52:52+00:00

only if it's for money. and if you want kids but again he has to be a provider and if not get a sperm donor instead and save yourself the headache.

cc_mm · 2020-03-29T19:11:38+00:00

I don't think so. I prefer to be independent, be it financially and emotionally, though the emotionally part costed me more. I don't really want to have children so I date to find someone who adds value to my life as much as I can add to them, but that also applies to my friends and even family. Valuable people is hard to find.

Harriett- · 2020-03-30T02:33:12+00:00

I think top 5-10% of men are worth marrying. Women who are able to afford them should marry, it will make their life better.

But lets be honest, most of the time marriage/LTRs makes women’s lives miserable. Married women seem to not have any dreams, big goals in life anymore. They‘re just there. Single women seem to be way more enthusiastic about their hobbies, careers, future plans. I don’t know why marriage kills enthusiasm, it’s depressing.

I wouldn’t say never marry because imo dating around is also miserable(more men=more trouble), marriage seems to be a better option compared to that.

I personally don’t care about relationships. Men are just... nothing about them is loveable. It’s not exciting to be with them.

Soulsalts · 2020-03-29T16:24:39+00:00

My main concern with marriage is that it gives a man some rights over your children.

Imagine the pain and anxiety you would feel if you had to go through a whole legal proceeding just to keep your children out of the hands of an abuser. You would probably win in the end, but these things can drag out for years, during which time you would have to drive your children to his house once a week, and leave them with someone they resent or fear.

That is the quickest way to erode the bonds of trust between mother and child. I couldn't do it.

azureeyks · 2020-03-29T07:27:53+00:00

I want a hubby. That’s my goal, obviously not only goal, but I’ll be one day settling down with a HVM

2020-03-29T08:01:37+00:00

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lightbluemind · 2020-03-30T04:11:11+00:00

If you want kids, marriage is absolutely worth it if you can find the right partner. Every child deserves two quality parents, and every mother deserves a supportive partner. I know we've all met excellent single mothers and maybe one or two genuinely good single dads, but raising a child is hard work, and it's even harder if you are doing it on your own. Just to be clear, one quality parent is better than one shitty parent + one quality parent being dragged down by the shitty one. I'm not trying to denigrate single moms here, but parenting with a good, supportive partner is objectively easier than parenting alone.

Otherwise? The numbers say no. Married women are less happy than single women, and for women marriage is a big gamble with usually not much of a payoff.

ghygdryhchmmmmjj · 2020-03-30T05:18:35+00:00

It depends what you want. If I was going to have kids with some one or move across the country for them, yes I'd like a contract first. Absolutely. There are many many things I would never do without marriage. But I'm in NO rush to get married. I'm not even in a rush to date. But there are many things I would not do without the contract. If I dont meet some one I want to spend the rest of my life with then I will never get married. It doesn't mean I'm "opting out" of marriage. I'm just not looking specifically to do it without other things falling into place first.

Novemberinthechair · 2020-03-30T07:59:58+00:00

derpinat_butter · 2020-03-29T11:57:44+00:00

For me, yes. Beside the cute wedding stuff, I want to have a formal agreement about finances, raising children etc. Not to mention I want to refer to my partner as husband, not baby daddy or boyfriend when we are 50. And I want him to wear a ring, because he is really a catch (although he doesn't quite know it) and I don't want other women falling for him.

crabbyvista · 2020-03-29T13:33:20+00:00

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2020-03-30T02:42:30+00:00

No. They are not capable of love and empathy, but they only imitate these things to get them from women. They also want to jack off to and fuck almost every other woman, even if they say otherwise. Even if they don’t get it for free from someone else, there’s a whole market of sex workers they can buy it from, and you’ll never know about it. The men who seem good and honest are also often just putting on a show.

azngirl7689 · 2020-03-29T15:08:53+00:00

With the right person, yes.

This is why I disagree with the fast engagement thing proposed by FDS. I want to know who and what I’m committing to. That takes time. A man who wants to marry will propose, he doesn’t need a timeline.

AmbitiousQueen · 2020-03-29T13:29:35+00:00

Marriage is a mans investment into a woman. Why on EARTH would you give your benefits to a man who did not marry you? Why would you give children to a man who doesnt marry you? Have some self respect and self worth, please !

Marriage is a safe guard for women. To ensure after you have done all you did for a man he cannot just leave so easy. You cant shove a child back up your vagina and call it a day once divorced. No.

It is the mans half of sacrifice to match yours once you birth. Do not ever accept a man w.o marriage! Know your worth!

Dont move in with a man If he didnt put a ring on it either !

2020-03-29T07:47:00+00:00

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AmbitiousQueen · 2020-03-29T13:27:13+00:00

[removed]

Title	Is marriage worth it anymore?
Author	AmbitiousQueen
Upvotes	65
Comments	106
Date	March 29, 2020 7:09 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fr1tuk/is_marriage_worth_it_anymore/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/is-marriage-worth-it-anymore.679406 https://theredarchive.com/post/679406

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