Is shoving your girlfriend physical abuse?

wowthispostissad · 2020-01-18T04:18:59+00:00

That is physical abuse. It will escalate 100% sure. Leave when it’s safe for you. Sooner is better because you want to leave before he escalates.

He is trying to gaslight and manipulate you.

teeteereads · 2020-01-18T05:19:12+00:00

It’s physical abuse 100%. Don’t doubt your gut like he wants you to.

An ex-friend (male) shoved me into a wall in MY apartment in anger, I promised him he would never see me again, and he has never seen me after to this day. You did the right thing. Keep him blocked.

globetrottinggal · 2020-01-18T05:05:59+00:00

Shoving is abuse. Defining what abuse is/isn't is also a common sign of abuse. "I just shoved you, it's not like I hit you! Yeah I hit you, but it's not like I left bruises!" And on and on. Glad you got out.

4herlight · 2020-01-18T05:05:15+00:00

Shoving someone is physical aggression, by definition. If it’s an action that can get him in trouble in public with anyone else, it’s definitely not OK to do to you.

Parking-Act · 2020-01-18T04:21:09+00:00

It absolutely is! Go no contact!

spotsandstripes9 · 2020-01-18T06:33:00+00:00

Yes this is physical abuse. He’s trying to gaslight you. Block and STAY AWAY from this shithead, it WILL escalate because abusers like to push things as far as they can.

picturesofpics · 2020-01-18T08:01:12+00:00

Yes it's physical abuse. In my country, verbal abuse is also categorized as domestic violence. Shoving is 100% physical violence.

smittydoodle · 2020-01-18T04:16:42+00:00

It is.

hilariouslystated · 2020-01-18T04:24:18+00:00

Yes.

MariaDolorosa · 2020-01-18T08:12:18+00:00

A good way to see the matter subjectively is to consider how you would feel if what happened to you had happened to a friend of yours. Would she be overreacting?

His behaviour is completely unacceptable, no matter the circumstances.

7_0f_9 · 2020-01-18T08:23:33+00:00

He's an abuser. He's also gaslighting you. He's fucking violent. Should grown adults behave that way? NO. Cut off all ties. He's done. Would a queen allow someone to push her? No. She would have him beheaded. Cut him off.

PunnyPrinter · 2020-01-18T06:03:14+00:00

Yes!

extraacct1234 · 2020-01-18T08:37:21+00:00

He's messing with your head.

It absolutely is abuse. You're probably under reacting. Dump him and don't ever look back.

Yianna_F · 2020-01-18T08:46:59+00:00

No, of course not! It would be physical abuse if YOU shoved him though!

That's how it works for them!

Any form of unwanted physical contact is abuse. Don't let him gaslight you! You deserve better!

upsettis · 2020-01-18T08:16:44+00:00

It's abuse. In fact, he doesn't even need to physically touch you to be abusive. Even being destructive towards objects around you or displaying other violent and dangerous behavior is abusive. (Punching walls, knocking over things, driving dangerously when "angry".) These things are all designed to make you feel scared, feel small, and submit to what he wants.

Hell, even "non-harmful" touch such as tickling can be abusive. This often manifests as tickling you until you are crying or get upset. Once you've had your buttons pressed, he uses your emotional response as an excuse to get angry at you.

With this in mind, shoving is definitely abuse.

vowelsareimportant · 2020-01-18T11:49:37+00:00

You are not overreacting. This is straight up physical abuse and he is using a tactic called minimizing.

You need to read “Why does he do that?”’to better understand what happened to you and why (and why it’s not your fault).

samismyboy · 2020-01-18T09:32:53+00:00

the legal definition of Battery in California is Battery is the intentional and unlawful use of force or violence against another—physical contact is involved here. If shoving would fit in the legal definition of battery than it is physical abuse and it will only get worse. stay as far from him as possible. The normal abuser cycle is to come back and fiercely apologize and make promises he will never keep or make you out to be imagining it all and then the abuse will start again and get worse every time. stay away from him!!

OsamaBenLadle · 2020-01-18T09:34:40+00:00

Is he really trying to say it’s not that bad. Yeah, he’s right it could be worse. But he’s also saying he can do worse. And that he will do worse. “Simple” things like grabbing or pushing are always red flags. He sees being physical as a way to break your will. To tell you that you cannot fight him so you as might as well submit to him. And if you try to stand your ground, he’s going to establish “dominance” in even more depraved ways. He believes instilling fear by telling you that there can be worse to come is enough to subdue you for now. He’s trying to seal your exit doors and tell you that there is no other way to save yourself.

Also, he made a poor attempt at gaslighting. It was like he was scrambling for an empty reason to slightly get his back off of the wall. He is not slick.

You did a fantastic job coming on here to let us know you’re situation. You called him your ex, so you didn’t let his fear mongering words overcome you. I can see you’re on the path to safety. Sadly, since you did leave, he’s most likely rampant. Now, he could possibly go off of clouded emotion more than manipulation in order to attempt to “punish” you. Do you have a safe place to stay? Do you have a support system? Stay strong.

szsunshine · 2020-01-18T14:15:56+00:00

A real man never lays a hand on a woman in anger. Ever.

Laws vary by state and jurisdiction, but shoving someone can result in an assault conviction. So yes - it is considered as serious as a punch.

Don’t argue with this piece of garbage. The fact that he says it “doesn’t count” demonstrates his lack of remorse. cheaters and abusers often try to minimize their actions; it must be in their playbook.

Often if you call a DV hotline or a non-emergency number of a woman’s shelter they will provide you with counseling services.

MyGilleyCat · 2020-01-18T16:31:11+00:00

Its physical abuse if he touches you when you dont want to be touched or touches you and intends to cause harm, causes harm, or trys to control your body.

Emma_Lemma_108 · 2020-01-18T19:22:53+00:00

If he even poked you while arguing or gets up in your face, that is both physically abusive and psychologically abusive - not only in a personal sense, but also LEGALLY.

Highly recommend the book “Why Does He Do That?” Clears a lot up!

2020-01-18T14:39:36+00:00

[removed]

woiashenseea · 2020-01-18T15:12:21+00:00

Yes it is

Read about abuse

Get away from him and good for you for breaking up

lvioletsnow · 2020-01-18T22:51:21+00:00

Passive aggressive comment turn to aggressive insults. Insults turn to name calling. Name calling turn to yelling. Yelling turns to shouting. Shouting turns to physical intimidation. Intimidation turns to shoving, slapping, punching, kicking. Physical violence turns to more physical violence until finally he kills you.

So yeah, GTFO and stay away. You'd be well within your rights to file a police report and have his ass jailed for assault.

Title	Is shoving your girlfriend physical abuse?
Author	tortoise_glasses
Upvotes	55
Comments	45
Date	January 18, 2020 4:14 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/eqboq8/is_shoving_your_girlfriend_physical_abuse/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/is-shoving-your-girlfriend-physical-abuse.684576 https://theredarchive.com/post/684576

Comments