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[–]AllTheBeanToesFDS Newbie320 points321 points322 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
He's basically raping her everyday and she thinks it's normal. That's what our society has come to. I'm speechless
[–]iliaxazFDS Newbie179 points180 points181 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Literally made her his sex slave. I’m thinking he’s hitting her to cause those all those bruises... he’s using her to take out his anger or women abusing “kink.”
He probably went after someone so young because he knew she didn’t know better and would be easier to manipulate. I freaking hate him.
I hope she listens to everyone’s comments about putting herself first and how he is not a normal or loving guy.
[–]overthinkersanon8FDS Newbie261 points262 points263 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I came to check if this had been posted on FDS yet. She's not his girlfriend. She's his sex slave. This is disgusting.
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]No_Energy7768FDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Can I receive a link ?
[–]everythingandloveFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
I think it might have been deleted 😕
[–]_moonessFDS Newbie35 points36 points37 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Why would they delete this? It should serve as a warning to all women.
[–]everythingandloveFDS Newbie42 points43 points44 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I know.. it just makes me sad, plus she probably didn’t even take any advice because he controls her... Abusive relationships are horrible
[–]_moonessFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s unfortunate that it takes so much breakage to learn to stay away from abusers.
[–]mtan15FDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Male mods. Can't be seen to be helping the vulnerable ones and giving women a voice and a choice. My heart breaks for her :(
[–]_moonessFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. I hate the mods on that sub. They’re complete misogynists. Not even trying to hide it.
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The OP might have deleted it herself, when she realized how viral it was getting
[–]No_Energy7768FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
its okay
[–]SansaDeservedBetterFDS Disciple189 points190 points191 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
On the bright side, it seems like her family cares and they are starting to become suspicious of her frequent bruises. I just hope one of her family members steps up and talks some sense into her. But, I just know the lunatic boyfriend will try to seperate her from her family once they realize he’s abusive and try to get her away from him. Abuser 101.
[–]superderpina_FDS Newbie97 points98 points99 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Look at her age. She probably won‘t listen to her family. This is all kinds of awful.
[–]sunologieFDS Newbie139 points140 points141 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This is like the 5th post in two weeks that I’ve seen on relationship reddit of women talking about not enjoying abusive rough sex but their s/o manipulating/forcing them etc into it...what the fuck!?!???
[–]Salty-TomorrowFDS Newbie66 points67 points68 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is the natural conclusion of pro-BDSM/“don’t kink-shame” ~”feminism”~
It’s toxic and gross and actively harmful to women.
[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There’s a tremendous amount of “tough sex” on porn sites and they don’t even realize it’s BDSM and not normal and not okay. Porn sickness.
[–]Phoenix__Rising2018Ruthless Strategist106 points107 points108 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is rape and assault with coercive control, triangulation and manipulation.
[–]SewudFDS Disciple94 points95 points96 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's so sad that she doesn't even realize that she could walk out and find another boyfriend in a second. Men would never go to that extent to please a woman and they would never be this loyal. There are men who can't even stay with a woman if the sex is not exactly how they want, can you imagine them putting up with painful sex?
[–]ReignOnYou951 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. Women sacrifice way too much for men and they would never do it back, they wouldnt even do half of what some women do. Youre right they would never have painful sex that they didnt get off on or any of the other sacrifices women do for men.
[–]Bitemebitch00FDS Apprentice91 points92 points93 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
He doesnt want to enjoy you, sis. He wants to abuse you.
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple30 points31 points32 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
yeah I really don't understand her question. He enjoys things just the way they are.
[–]myousernameRuthless Strategist84 points85 points86 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Red flags of abuse in this post 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩(I mean, other than the actual "sex" which is just straight up abuse)
Triangulation. Negatively characterizing his ex in such a way is a manipulation tactic intended to trigger a sense of competitiveness in the new woman. This conditions the new woman to want to please him and to erase her own boundaries. As if to say, "I left my ex because of this bad and horrible thing that she did. If you don't want me to leave you, you better not do that!"
Sex as stress relief. Frames sex as something he does to someone else for his own pleasure. In reality, sex is supposed to be about intimacy and mutual pleasure. If you want to relieve stress, masturbate. Don't treat your partner like a masturbatory tool.
Anytime she tries to talk about it, he shuts down and threatens to break up with her. He knows that she doesn't want to break up so her uses it as a threat so that he can continue sexually abusing her. He shows zero interest in her needs, he only cares about his own.
She needs to leave this dude. He is an abuser.
[–]daria1994FDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 74 points75 points76 points 5 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Someone needs to tell her (and people in general need to understand) that anyone who threatens to leave you whenever you attempt to enforce your boundaries or if you refuse to go along with everything they say, is emotionally abusing you. This is not normal behaviour. Someone who loves you will respect your boundaries. Someone who does this does not and will never love you. It is impossible to intentionally hurt someone you truly love. This scrote is a horrific monster and she needs to break up with him. She also needs to press charges. She needs to stop asking herself how she can “please him” and rather why she is okay with allowing this behaviour to continue when she clearly hates it.
[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I wish I’d known this when I was younger! Every time a manipulator would say “if you don’t ____, then I’ll just find someone who will!” I wish I’d have just said, “OK. Bye now. Have a good time with that.”
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly and if all women upheld this standard, males wouldn’t ever try to pull this shit! Remember, they need us. We don’t need them. We have way more options than them and they know that, it’s why they try to pull these emotionally abusive tactics.
[–]KimpracticalFDS Disciple53 points54 points55 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
This is really common in relationships these days. Maybe not to this extent, but women being manipulated into doing things that they clearly don’t enjoy, and the man not caring about her feelings. It has happened to me as well. It’s like impossible to find a man who’s willing to respect your boundaries. We need to just give up on all of them at this point
[–]rlcuteFDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, like anal sex. Men don't like or respect women. Sex is something they do TO us, not with us.
[–]shutup201FDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
To find a man to respect you as a human being with feelings let alone boundaries is far too hard these days. Too many men are truly on some heinous shit. Sex is no longer enough, they want to hurt women for enjoyment. Something in the water ( porn, patriarchy, etc) is making men sociopaths. Why in God's name should a woman have to tell a man not to beat her, ever, but especially when having sex? This is all too much and the trauma this will one day cause her is so sad, but he'll be just fine.
[–]deranged_berserkerFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I honestly think things haven't changed for centuries with men. I think they have always been highly sociopathic. Last year I learned for the first time how abusive my grandfather was. He used to beat my grandmother regularly. It was a different time back then when such things were kept quiet.
I believe the internet has blown things wide open. People can speak anonymously with anyone with internet access. I feel that's made us all realise just how pervasive abuse, rape, misogyny etc is. I do agree that porn is making things much worse. I believe it's turning what would otherwise of been fairly normal men into porn sick abusers. Nothing will ever get better so long as porn is in the mix.
[–]shutup201FDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I do think that sexual norms have become more extreme like I don't think "rough" sex was as popular in the past. I feel like if they manipulated a women out of "vanilla" sex they were happy, but now it's like let me hurt every orifice, nut on you and choke you some too.
I do agree, though, that domestic violence and everything has been going on for a very long time. Actually, I think that was more rampant in the past because my grandmother, great aunt, etc all dealt with it, too, but men these days don't even think they're abusers. They think they're kinky, while exploiting, manipulating, and using control to devalue women, get an ego boost from the devalue and a pat on the back from some man for their crappy behavior. They're more twisted these days, I think, which means they have to manipulate and exploit women even more to allow these twisted things. Why not get a woman who actually enjoys this type of sex? It's no fun, the game is to get women to go against themselves, to allow the degradation. Sociopathic and narcissistic tendencies are pretty much required to do the things they want to do now a days.
[–]GrapeJuiceEnthusiastFDS Disciple4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There were definitely scrotes who were into "rough" sex before but I feel like it was definitely frowned upon and people would think you're weird if you suggested doing anal or whatever. Nowadays sex has to look like something out of a wrestling match or you're "a prude."
[–][deleted] 141 points142 points143 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Most of my advice applies to the majority of abusive relationships, but it does center around the theme of one-sided and toxic sex. Here is what I commented:
There is no way for you to enjoy this. I think you know it. You are giving NO indication that any part of this sex is good for you. I don't know about pleasing him, but to please yourself you are going to have to find a relationship elsewhere. I encourage you to focus on leaving the relationship and moving on. I know it's hard, but it sounds like this is truly for the best. Get out swiftly and safely, please.
For the record, there is nothing wrong with you for not enjoying this painful type of sex. I'm not even sure what he's doing to bruise you all over, but it sounds very abnormal. There is nothing wrong with you for wanting it to stop. Get out swiftly and safely, please.
Also for record, something was said in the other comments that bears repeating. This man is dangerous because he enjoys your obvious pain, discomfort, and displeasure. You have communicated already. It sounds like you have been nothing but clear, and he is shutting you down. That is not the trait of a "sexually dominant" man. That is the trait of an abuser. You are potentially in grave danger. When you get out, get out swiftly and safely, please.
[–]mtan15FDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I love that you repeated that line. Bless you xx
[–][deleted] 37 points38 points39 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
SHE IS JUST 19 AND HE IS 25 MAN IT AINT RIGHT! Damn it!
I am a very different person now that I am in my mid20s then I was just 19. She will have a lot of trauma in this relationship motherfcker
[–]Deadgirl1888FDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I hate porn so much. Its beyond fucked up this kind of sexual abuse is normalized and pick mes and lvm will shame you into it.
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She doesn't want to leave him, she just wants to cOmMuNiCaTe better
[–]cece188FDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is so fucking sad. To think that I am this girl’s age. This could have been me if I didn’t find FDS.
I’m genuinely hoping she comes to her senses. I feel so horrible for her.
[–]ninetiesbaby16FDS Apprentice15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“Sex is his stress relief”...she’s literally a chew toy for a vicious dog, Jesus Christ we need a second coming or some fire and brimstone sodom and Gomorrah style. It’s so sad, you can really tell she totally thinks she has no choice. Like it hasn’t occurred to her she doesn’t have to do this and can find a real man who’d make love to her properly 💔
[–]Lavender_flowFDS Disciple11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She is going to need so much therapy when she gets out of this abusive relationship. It isn't even red flags it is straight up abuse and harming her. She is not going to see it until she leaves. He sounds absolutely disgusting. Also it is clear he hates women. Only someone who hates women would do this to their girlfriend.
[–]rlcuteFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I can't even look at that sub anymore. It makes me so sad.
[–]IAmGoingToBeBetterFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Jesus fucking Christ. He’s abusing her. I’m praying she gets out of this alive. If he’s that psycho during sex, what’s he going to be like when she tries to leave.
[–]bananna_nutFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She will never be able to satisfy him without getting hurt because he gets satisfaction and pleasure out of hurting her
[–]GrapeJuiceEnthusiastFDS Disciple6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Age gap? Check. Abusive boyfriend? Check. Woman who has 0 self-esteem to the point she doesn't consider that her enjoyment and safety should be the priorities in her own life? CHECK. This is 90% of relationship_advice posts in a nutshell. It's scary how common these sorts of relationships are.
[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If this woman wants encouragement in being a doormat, she rightfully addressed the question to relationshit-advice. Feeling shitty? Hurting? Can she great herself? The only sound advice she should be given is to call 911. No woman should go into a relationship with the mindset that she needs to please her boyfriend. She should go into it asking: does he please me? If not, she needs to find another one. I don't even want to read the whole thing because it's sad and depressing. She's 19, very vulnerable, still a kid in many aspects. I hope she's redirected to fds.
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I hope she's redirected to fds.
They often are, but if they do come and post here they generally don't respond much to the comments here. FDS must seem pretty shocking after AITA or relationship_advice. Maybe the FDS message plants a tiny seed.
[–]Mysterious_Service_1FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Holy shit.. The AUDACITY. The gaslighting and porn addiction is real, y'all.
[–]lellancFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Was the post deleted? I can’t seem to find it
[–]biggestsighFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Yeah the mods deleted it
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/k06tnk/how_can_i_f19_please_my_boyfriend_m25without/
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Color me shocked that the mods of that garbage sub actually exhibited some standards and normal human decency
[–]biggestsighFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't know there standard was...too much karma and comments.
[–]textbasedpanda4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The post reached their comment/karma limit and was deleted as a rule. It has nothing to do with standards.
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ahhh, I see. I refuse to give that sub any clicks so I'm not familiar with their protocols.
[–]textbasedpanda5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The mod team is pretty hands-off, but the users have been (lately) very reasonable.
In this particular post the comments are overwhelmingly in the "Leave Him Yesterday" camp. I hope that OP reads it and follows through.
[–]luvmyvulvaxoxoFDS Disciple4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is physical, sexual and emotional abuse. Full stop. This isn’t funny.
I’ve been through something similar. OP will you send me her username so I can DM her?
[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The things I want to say but can't say...
[–]shutup201FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I hope this is fake.
[–]GourmayFDS Apprentice6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It scares me to know these men are out there and will probably never seek therapy.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Therapy? What they really need is a jail cell. Especially this sociopathic scrote.
[–]mikobabyFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yikes...she has the choice to throw this garbage guy out any time. Raped and abused every day and she still makes excuses for him.
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[–]AllTheBeanToesFDS Newbie320 points321 points322 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]iliaxazFDS Newbie179 points180 points181 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]overthinkersanon8FDS Newbie261 points262 points263 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (11 children) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]No_Energy7768FDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]everythingandloveFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]_moonessFDS Newbie35 points36 points37 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]everythingandloveFDS Newbie42 points43 points44 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]_moonessFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mtan15FDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]_moonessFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]No_Energy7768FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SansaDeservedBetterFDS Disciple189 points190 points191 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]superderpina_FDS Newbie97 points98 points99 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]sunologieFDS Newbie139 points140 points141 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Salty-TomorrowFDS Newbie66 points67 points68 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Phoenix__Rising2018Ruthless Strategist106 points107 points108 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SewudFDS Disciple94 points95 points96 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ReignOnYou951 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Bitemebitch00FDS Apprentice91 points92 points93 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple30 points31 points32 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]myousernameRuthless Strategist84 points85 points86 points
(1 child) | Copy Link
[–]daria1994FDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 74 points75 points76 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]KimpracticalFDS Disciple53 points54 points55 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]rlcuteFDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]shutup201FDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]deranged_berserkerFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]shutup201FDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GrapeJuiceEnthusiastFDS Disciple4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 141 points142 points143 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]mtan15FDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 37 points38 points39 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Deadgirl1888FDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cece188FDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ninetiesbaby16FDS Apprentice15 points16 points17 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lavender_flowFDS Disciple11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rlcuteFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IAmGoingToBeBetterFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bananna_nutFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GrapeJuiceEnthusiastFDS Disciple6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mysterious_Service_1FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lellancFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]biggestsighFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple11 points12 points13 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]biggestsighFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]textbasedpanda4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]textbasedpanda5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]luvmyvulvaxoxoFDS Disciple4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]shutup201FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GourmayFDS Apprentice6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]mikobabyFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link