Lord have mercy

AllTheBeanToes · 2020-11-24T19:53:32+00:00

He's basically raping her everyday and she thinks it's normal. That's what our society has come to. I'm speechless

overthinkersanon8 · 2020-11-24T19:07:57+00:00

I came to check if this had been posted on FDS yet. She's not his girlfriend. She's his sex slave. This is disgusting.

No_Energy7768 · 2020-11-24T19:01:07+00:00

[removed]

SansaDeservedBetter · 2020-11-24T19:13:36+00:00

On the bright side, it seems like her family cares and they are starting to become suspicious of her frequent bruises. I just hope one of her family members steps up and talks some sense into her. But, I just know the lunatic boyfriend will try to seperate her from her family once they realize he’s abusive and try to get her away from him. Abuser 101.

sunologie · 2020-11-24T19:22:55+00:00

This is like the 5th post in two weeks that I’ve seen on relationship reddit of women talking about not enjoying abusive rough sex but their s/o manipulating/forcing them etc into it...what the fuck!?!???

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-11-24T19:47:02+00:00

This is rape and assault with coercive control, triangulation and manipulation.

Sewud · 2020-11-24T19:31:52+00:00

It's so sad that she doesn't even realize that she could walk out and find another boyfriend in a second. Men would never go to that extent to please a woman and they would never be this loyal. There are men who can't even stay with a woman if the sex is not exactly how they want, can you imagine them putting up with painful sex?

Bitemebitch00 · 2020-11-24T19:37:50+00:00

He doesnt want to enjoy you, sis. He wants to abuse you.

myousername · 2020-11-24T21:46:35+00:00

Red flags of abuse in this post 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩(I mean, other than the actual "sex" which is just straight up abuse)

Triangulation. Negatively characterizing his ex in such a way is a manipulation tactic intended to trigger a sense of competitiveness in the new woman. This conditions the new woman to want to please him and to erase her own boundaries. As if to say, "I left my ex because of this bad and horrible thing that she did. If you don't want me to leave you, you better not do that!"
Sex as stress relief. Frames sex as something he does to someone else for his own pleasure. In reality, sex is supposed to be about intimacy and mutual pleasure. If you want to relieve stress, masturbate. Don't treat your partner like a masturbatory tool.
Anytime she tries to talk about it, he shuts down and threatens to break up with her. He knows that she doesn't want to break up so her uses it as a threat so that he can continue sexually abusing her. He shows zero interest in her needs, he only cares about his own.

She needs to leave this dude. He is an abuser.

MagnfiqueMaleficent · 2020-11-24T19:35:04+00:00

Someone needs to tell her (and people in general need to understand) that anyone who threatens to leave you whenever you attempt to enforce your boundaries or if you refuse to go along with everything they say, is emotionally abusing you. This is not normal behaviour. Someone who loves you will respect your boundaries. Someone who does this does not and will never love you. It is impossible to intentionally hurt someone you truly love. This scrote is a horrific monster and she needs to break up with him. She also needs to press charges. She needs to stop asking herself how she can “please him” and rather why she is okay with allowing this behaviour to continue when she clearly hates it.

Kimpractical · 2020-11-24T20:04:09+00:00

This is really common in relationships these days. Maybe not to this extent, but women being manipulated into doing things that they clearly don’t enjoy, and the man not caring about her feelings. It has happened to me as well. It’s like impossible to find a man who’s willing to respect your boundaries. We need to just give up on all of them at this point

mtan15 · 2020-11-24T19:19:47+00:00

Most of my advice applies to the majority of abusive relationships, but it does center around the theme of one-sided and toxic sex. Here is what I commented:

There is no way for you to enjoy this. I think you know it. You are giving NO indication that any part of this sex is good for you. I don't know about pleasing him, but to please yourself you are going to have to find a relationship elsewhere. I encourage you to focus on leaving the relationship and moving on. I know it's hard, but it sounds like this is truly for the best. Get out swiftly and safely, please.

For the record, there is nothing wrong with you for not enjoying this painful type of sex. I'm not even sure what he's doing to bruise you all over, but it sounds very abnormal. There is nothing wrong with you for wanting it to stop. Get out swiftly and safely, please.

Also for record, something was said in the other comments that bears repeating. This man is dangerous because he enjoys your obvious pain, discomfort, and displeasure. You have communicated already. It sounds like you have been nothing but clear, and he is shutting you down. That is not the trait of a "sexually dominant" man. That is the trait of an abuser. You are potentially in grave danger. When you get out, get out swiftly and safely, please.

2020-11-24T22:25:20+00:00

SHE IS JUST 19 AND HE IS 25 MAN IT AINT RIGHT! Damn it!

I am a very different person now that I am in my mid20s then I was just 19. She will have a lot of trauma in this relationship motherfcker

Deadgirl1888 · 2020-11-24T22:40:27+00:00

I hate porn so much. Its beyond fucked up this kind of sexual abuse is normalized and pick mes and lvm will shame you into it.

Summerisle7 · 2020-11-24T21:49:43+00:00

[deleted]

cece188 · 2020-11-24T21:32:10+00:00

This is so fucking sad. To think that I am this girl’s age. This could have been me if I didn’t find FDS.

I’m genuinely hoping she comes to her senses. I feel so horrible for her.

ninetiesbaby16 · 2020-11-25T00:35:15+00:00

“Sex is his stress relief”...she’s literally a chew toy for a vicious dog, Jesus Christ we need a second coming or some fire and brimstone sodom and Gomorrah style. It’s so sad, you can really tell she totally thinks she has no choice. Like it hasn’t occurred to her she doesn’t have to do this and can find a real man who’d make love to her properly 💔

Lavender_flow · 2020-11-25T00:04:36+00:00

She is going to need so much therapy when she gets out of this abusive relationship. It isn't even red flags it is straight up abuse and harming her. She is not going to see it until she leaves. He sounds absolutely disgusting. Also it is clear he hates women. Only someone who hates women would do this to their girlfriend.

rlcute · 2020-11-24T23:35:41+00:00

I can't even look at that sub anymore. It makes me so sad.

IAmGoingToBeBetter · 2020-11-24T23:56:43+00:00

Jesus fucking Christ. He’s abusing her. I’m praying she gets out of this alive. If he’s that psycho during sex, what’s he going to be like when she tries to leave.

bananna_nut · 2020-11-25T01:52:49+00:00

She will never be able to satisfy him without getting hurt because he gets satisfaction and pleasure out of hurting her

GrapeJuiceEnthusiast · 2020-11-25T12:11:04+00:00

Age gap? Check. Abusive boyfriend? Check. Woman who has 0 self-esteem to the point she doesn't consider that her enjoyment and safety should be the priorities in her own life? CHECK. This is 90% of relationship_advice posts in a nutshell. It's scary how common these sorts of relationships are.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2020-11-24T23:16:31+00:00

If this woman wants encouragement in being a doormat, she rightfully addressed the question to relationshit-advice. Feeling shitty? Hurting? Can she great herself? The only sound advice she should be given is to call 911. No woman should go into a relationship with the mindset that she needs to please her boyfriend. She should go into it asking: does he please me? If not, she needs to find another one. I don't even want to read the whole thing because it's sad and depressing. She's 19, very vulnerable, still a kid in many aspects. I hope she's redirected to fds.

Mysterious_Service_1 · 2020-11-25T02:42:44+00:00

Holy shit.. The AUDACITY. The gaslighting and porn addiction is real, y'all.

lellanc · 2020-11-24T19:45:18+00:00

Was the post deleted? I can’t seem to find it

luvmyvulvaxoxo · 2020-11-25T01:17:05+00:00

This is physical, sexual and emotional abuse. Full stop. This isn’t funny.

I’ve been through something similar. OP will you send me her username so I can DM her?

suspended_animation_ · 2020-11-25T00:06:24+00:00

The things I want to say but can't say...

shutup201 · 2020-11-25T03:15:11+00:00

I hope this is fake.

Gourmay · 2020-11-24T23:49:39+00:00

It scares me to know these men are out there and will probably never seek therapy.

mikobaby · 2020-11-26T01:29:25+00:00

Yikes...she has the choice to throw this garbage guy out any time. Raped and abused every day and she still makes excuses for him.

Title	Lord have mercy
Author	throwaway1456738
Upvotes	431
Comments	64
Date	November 24, 2020 7:00 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/k0baw1/lord_have_mercy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/lord-have-mercy.736478 https://theredarchive.com/post/736478

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