My boyfriend shared a funny video that i didn't find funny

yoursultana · 2022-03-29T05:39:23+00:00

It’s not funny but he’s telling the truth about men in that video. Your bf agrees with him, that’s why he likes the video. So if your bf isn’t rich, he’s basically telling you he thinks he’s settled and would discard you in a heartbeat if he made it big. I’d break up and block+delete.

morenawiththehenna · 2022-03-29T07:09:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

morenawiththehenna · 2022-03-29T06:22:12+00:00

This is disgusting. In my experience he’s sharing that because he believes it. If your man is broke or middle class he thinks you’re broke or middle class looking. I would, personally, break up with him now before you’re in too deep.

yggiwtmiih · 2022-03-29T06:34:40+00:00

Glad I watched it. It's important to remember what they really think, and it proves the handbook right again. Stay woke, ladies!

MeanWhatISay · 2022-03-29T07:29:03+00:00

I mean what a lot of the guys who laugh at this don’t realise, is that it means in order to get a guy who sees a woman as the “end deal”, we should all in theory be waiting at the finish line and stop dating men our own level 😂

LadyWizzard · 2022-03-29T11:59:14+00:00

Girl, stop writing think pieces and twisting into a pretzel and just dump him.

BooksandEarlGreyTea · 2022-03-29T12:03:56+00:00

It got a wry snort of derision from myself at the part about rich men dropping a women for better, because it is the truth. We have seen a lot of stories about ladies building with their man and him leaving her for another lady who has never seen him broke/ that low of an income.

It really brings to mind the saying never a truer word spoken in jest. It is amazing what people will admit and then hide behind when they use humour.

thewetdog_ · 2022-03-29T13:56:19+00:00

I used to have a finsta where I made book reviews and once reviewed a science fiction book called Herland (written by a woman, pioneer of sci fi in the early 20th century), about an all-female utopia. It touched on themes like our exploitation of nature, division of labor, male/female roles and approaches to society. This was all Included in my review. I asked my then-bf to like and comment on my post, to get it rolling you know, and he did. Except his comment (though not passive aggressive at the time) included something like “Wow a book where all women get along? Definitely sci-fi 😉”. He was a dumbass but also a misogynist and it showed it in ‘minor’ things like this.

Asking men for their opinion on media is a great vetting strategy.

ifhewantedtohewould · 2022-03-29T10:11:12+00:00

Title should say “ex boyfriend”. He gaslit you, it didn’t work, and then he miraculously agrees with you that it’s offensive. Trash. Your boyfriend is not HV and has a LV sense of ‘humour’. He’s literally telling you he settled.

chainsawbobcat · 2022-03-29T12:21:06+00:00

Maybe an unpopular opinion, but comedy is meant to cause a stir. That comedian is playing off of a damn truth, and from my perspective is extremely important to understand that the reason this is funny is because it resonates with people - bc plenty of these men will drop you when they have money and they are laughing bc he's telling the truth about them. And we know this, that many men are shallow materialistic entitled dogs who only care about looks.

You can find a million artists whose content is polarizing. The artist and their content is not the problem here, it's that Your boyfriend related with this content and decided to share it specifically with you. What is he trying to say? How much money is this dude making? 65k and I'm going to guess he's projecting that he feels he'll be entitled to a hot woman of he makes more money one day - the true sign of immaturity. If he makes good money, then he's laughing because he thinks your hot but he knows he'd dump you for someone hotter if he made more money. Honestly if he not making a lot of money right now and never has, that's worse bc you can see this is the first thing he thinks about when fantasizing about one day make more money - swapping his girlfriend. Not philanthropy, not marriage, not security, not so the things he would buy you, but swapping out his girlfriend.

I'll tell you something, I have a friendly relationship with my ex bc we have a child together and coparent, when we were together we went to see a lot of comedians. I'll still send him comedy clips sometimes where I see something funny that I think will resonate with him specifically. Because I know that the attitude behind the joke is something he finds truth in.

Your boyfriend finds truth in this joke. That's the take away. My suggestion is the neutrally ask him what he finds funny about it and let him tell on himself. Listen to him and find out what part of the joke resonates with him. Remember, it's not a funny joke unless there's truth to it. And you don't need to defend yourself. What you did have said is, how do you think I feel being shown that, bc other women don't matter. "some women might laugh some may be offended" ... You were offended, so what is his response.

Don't make this a point of contention, just listen and watch and process your feelings away from him. You are allowed to be offended and grossed out.

namey_9 · 2022-03-29T06:49:41+00:00

it's not funny. I admittedly smiled slightly at the "*cough* I can't do this no more" line because it was well-delivered, but it's a lame set of jokes. i'm sure there's shallow truth to it for many people, but yeah i'd wonder why my guy went out of his way to show it to me.

I'm pretty straightforward when I'm uncomfortable and would just ask whether there's something I should be worried about or something I should know. I'd tell the truth and say it made me feel shitty. your feelings matter and there's no point in pretending it didn't bother you (he isn't worth hiding yourself).

if he doesn't have anything deep to say about it or assures you that he's not trying to sow any seeds of doubt or tell you something in a roundabout way, assures you that he would never actually do that and expresses care for how you're feeling then I'd just tell him you don't like this humour style and move on.

if he keeps showing you crap like this again though or you just have a gut feeling he actually sees you this way, think about getting yourself out of your relationship or tell him it's a boundary that you expect him to respect and what you'll do about it if he doesn't.

life is too short to waste time with anyone who makes you feel as worthless as these jokes imply. you don't deserve to doubt yourself like that.

Vaahla · 2022-03-29T13:23:35+00:00

I don’t think it’s funny, from any perspective. Didn’t sound like the audience thought it was that funny either.

If this is the content he saves as a favourite item, that’s a reflection of him. This is what’s worthy of hanging on too.

Unfunny comments about how ugly the women he’s surrounded by are, and how a man will leave his wife as soon as he’s rich. That’s what your boyfriend values as shareable or something that brought him enough joy to watch again and again.

Or I’m reading too much into it 🤷‍♀️ but I don’t save media that doesn’t speak to me personally in some way, or to somebody I hold dear.

millennialpink2000 · 2022-03-29T14:56:09+00:00

What people find funny is a reflection of their values and thought process. You can learn A LOT about someone by what they find funny and comedians are a reflection of our culture.

You should be grateful your bf (hopefully soon to be ex) shared this video with you, because you just looked into his mind and it's a bucket of garbage. I was disgusted with some of the things my ex would insist were hilaaaarious, but they weren't at all. Run

katiekat0214 · 2022-03-29T13:22:24+00:00

Two sentences in and I clicked off. Objectification, misogyny, gross. I'm not you, but I'd suggest re-evaluating your relationship if he finds that funny. Gross.

alpinepunch2021 · 2022-03-29T13:44:53+00:00

I'd assume he was trying to communicate something to me if he sent me this (like a 'you should probably dump me because I'm hoping to upgrade' kind of thing).

Also, this didn't actually offend me that much but it also just struck me as extremely mediocre/unfunny. Like, it's not exactly clever observational humor that makes you go 'omg that's so true I never saw that before' - it's just a guy repeating a cultural phenomenon everyone's aware of. Those grounds alone would give me ick towards whoever sent this to me, since it implies they're that unfunny too.

2022-03-29T17:24:05+00:00

I wonder if OP sent him a video of a woman going on about men like Drew Afualo or something then he would also find that funny (not suggesting OP do this because he already revealed who he is)? That's why I'm not fond of comedians. They always want to push the idea of all things being jokes, until it's something they don't like. It's like they want to control how people respond to their unfunny jokes.

ububTkuc · 2022-03-29T12:17:09+00:00

Amanda ad long as that relationship pink slip cones with a fat alimony check, many women are better off without these scrotes.

(Another reason why you should decline being the 4-evah girlfriend)

thowawaywookie · 2022-03-29T12:33:37+00:00

How long have you two been dating?

Carneliancat · 2022-03-29T19:28:32+00:00

If you have to spend this much time trying to figure it out, there is your answer. Your boyfriend sounds like gaslighting garbage who could not care less about your feelings, to be honest.

creamtart_ · 2022-03-29T05:35:16+00:00

If you don’t like the comedian, why are you sharing his content so he gets more views and publicity?

2022-03-30T21:07:11+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SuccotashBorn7341 · 2022-08-11T23:12:30+00:00

stop crying

Title	My boyfriend shared a funny video that i didn't find funny
Author	morenawiththehenna
Upvotes	189
Comments	82
Date	March 29, 2022 5:32 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/tqsotl/my_boyfriend_shared_a_funny_video_that_i_didnt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/my-boyfriend-shared-a-funny-video-that-i-didnt.1109649 https://theredarchive.com/post/1109649

Comments