I found this sub not too long ago after some scrote was bashing it on another sub. Thank God! I am currently married to a narcissist NVM who has gaslit me into an oblivion. When I met him, I was beautiful, fit, healthy, successful and confident woman. Now, six years later, I am 30 pounds heavier, ill with autoimmune disease, on multiple antidepressants and just a mere shell of myself. I was truly convinced I was losing my mind. All the standards and boundaries were chipped away one by one. I started feeling bad for asking for the most basic courtesies, e.g. letting me know when he’ll be back after going out or helping me out with house chores.

I spent probably 8 hours reading all the posts and I felt like I reclaimed a piece of myself that was lost. What I was asking of my husband was not, in any shape or form, unreasonable or demanding. All I asked for was for him to be a contributing and respectful partner to our marriage.

The reason why I am still married to him is because I was confused for so long. For the outsiders, he’s the best friend, wonderful husband and a charming person. He’d be a nice husband on some days, and stonewalling asshole on other days. I am the “lucky” one to see his mask off. Now that I gained weight, he said he is no longer attracted to me and sex is of the table. I was floored when he said that - he is the reason why I gained weight. I am on antidepressants because of his shitty, anxiety inducing behavior. I spend many days wondering how a person who says he loves you can be so cruel? I tried to serve him back the same behavior but then I realized - he is literally pushing me to go down to his level. I am not cruel, I am not selfish, and I am not a narc. He is.

I wish this was #kickhimout2020 story; however, it is not. It will be a while until I have my things in order to leave, so perhaps #kickhimout2021 🤞🏻

Edit: I woke up to all your comment ladies and I cannot tell you just how much it means to me. For so long I felt so lonely and beat down (I am the only one to see the true face of the narc), and this sub and your support helped me remember who I truly am. After this marriage, I don’t think I will want to ever date anyone again, but if I do, I will be blocking and deleting at the first read flag. Had I done that with my husband, I would have not been in this situation. Never again 💙 thank you 💜