Now is the time to dig into your good memories and give the rest of us some good examples of green flags. It can be anything from small gestures to huge efforts - as long as you felt valued and would love to see more of that!

Made a small list of things I remember as a starter:

  • my father takes his time to draw handmade cards with beautiful calligraphy to follow the gift every time my parents go to a birthday. Who buys the gift is 50/50, but he will usually do the wrapping so my mother doesn't have to think about it.
  • I didn't wish for anything at my 17th birthday, but my then-boyfriend gave me a shotgun microphone for my camera, so I could make better videos. I had never thought about it before, but he managed to research which one would be compliant with my camera and found a used one online still in original package, so I could get the best quality possible. Never expected it because we were kids and made 0 money. Big surprise.
  • My male best friends always take initiative to clean, cook, buy snacks and drinks when we hang out. If someone pays for something they always ask how much they owe. They always check if someone is vegan, has allergies or food preferences.
  • I have a friend that loves driving around in his car. If you call him to chat he is often out already and asks you if you need a ride. He never asks for anything in return.
  • There is a guy at the local playground I often see playing with his child. They are there almost every day - sometimes with the mother as well -, even if it rains. The father and child seem to have an awesome connection.
  • I chat regularly with a guy that says he used to be very macho but has worked alot with himself. He is more feminist than I am. He lives with his daughter and the mother, so he's not online every day. But he is so much aware about and concerned for women's issues that he has become my idealistic beacon for how privileged white men should treat women and minorities online.