PSA!!!!!

hairwashernova · 2020-08-31T18:29:38+00:00

I saw a post on Twitter a while back where a woman was talking about how her brother had to come help her when her car broke down or something. Her brother told her that none of the men she was chatting with/sleeping with even bothered to show up to help her so she needed to drop them. It was one of those posts that stayed in the back of my mind but didn't hit until FDS. Because it's true.

moxymoxalone · 2020-08-31T19:09:05+00:00

Years ago, my ex-husband and I were at home on a Sunday afternoon and one of our cats had gotten into something stinky so I decided to give him a bath. Foolishly, I was holding the cat in my lap and reached over to turn on the tub. He flipped out and climbed my face to get away from the water, opening up an inch and a half gash in the delicate skin underneath one eye. The ex-husband refused to take me to the emergency room saying it was Sunday and he deserved to relax on his day off from work. So I drove myself all over the area looking for an emergency room that was open. This was before I had anything like a cell phone so was unable to call ahead. After two hours and 60 miles of driving I finally found an open emergency room.

This example should’ve taught me what kind of person my husband was and how little he regarded my pain and health.

heleninthealps · 2020-08-31T18:21:32+00:00

This is soooo true. Before I even realised that my ex was abusive, I had a strong sense that if I would be on life support he would pull the plug right away to save money, and that if I ever got into an accident he wouldn't drop whatever he was doing to come to the hospital.

If you imagen these scenarios and you see in front of you that the man your dating would just shrugg his shoulders. It's not just a fear or fantasy. It's your instinct telling you what your subconscious has already picked up from his words and his behaviour. And everything you think after that first image, is just you rationalizing the relationship to yourself.

SuccessfulShow5 · 2020-08-31T18:51:19+00:00

This was a big one. When my truck got stolen from my complex a year ago I called my ex and told him I was freaking out (this was after I had already called police) and he didn’t offer any emotional support whatsoever and just asked “well did you call the police ...” no outrage or concern in his voice at all. He didn’t call me all day , Not even on his lunch, to ask me how everything was going or if I needed a ride to work . He was at work too but my friend who lives an HOUR away offered to help before he did , who works ten minutes away from me. I guess he thought sharing a Facebook post to look out for my truck was the best he could do. That was the beginning of the end. Talk about feeling totally unprotected . I’ve learned that a man can not just be nice and fun to be around when everything’s all peachy . If he can’t help you out in your most vulnerable moments he is trash

LittleBitchyBanana · 2020-08-31T19:03:27+00:00

I was thinking very similar thing with my NVM ex. If I by accident got pregnant would I be raising this child with him as a father? My answer was no. And right now it is the very first question I ask myself if I consider having sex with a man. Would he be a good father? If the answer is no, you know ladies what’s next 😌 let it go.

thrash-queen · 2020-08-31T21:28:08+00:00

I was once in the ER and called my then-BF to let him know. We lived together at the time and he would need to take me home. He said he was golfing, and would be there afterwards.

Queue the awkward situation where the nurses are trying to be polite while telling me I needed to leave, and me explaining that my ride was on the golf course and I had to wait. I waited for 4 hours, and when he picked me up all he wanted to talk about was golf.

LevelTurbulent · 2020-08-31T17:33:45+00:00

Agreed

nihilistic_outlook · 2020-08-31T19:10:34+00:00

Sometimes you need to throw a man away who would pick you up if you needed it, too. Don’t let this be the bare minimum and encourage you to talk to that LVM you dumped again.

MsVandeau · 2020-09-01T03:44:13+00:00

A lifetime ago I was living with a man. I was prepping dinner listening to music and not paying attention I guess. I cleaned sliced a good part of my palm off with a mandolin. Like an inch of my skin was flapping. And blood was fucking spurting.

Blood was pouring. Gushing. Literally pouring everywhere. I was calling my ex by Bluetooth screaming. Hand in sink. And a towel pressed against it. No idea what to do. He said he was in a business meeting and to stop calling. He wouldn’t even listen to me that I have never bleed like this.

I put this powder dog blood clotting shit on my palm (by the way DO NO RECOMMEND). And wrapping a hand towel. I drove down the street to the hospital... walked in and they saw me. Blood soaking throw the towel. On the floor. I was seen immediately. Apparently I hit the radial artsy, which is why it wouldn’t stop bleeding.

I ended up with seeing a hand surgeon, a bunch of stitches. I came back home hours and hours later. My hand completely wrapped. Extra gauze and bandages in my other hand. Exhausted. He was home. Never called back. Saw him, and he said “well you definitely left quite a mess when you left” in some joking tone.

And I fucking stayed with the guy. I laughed it off. I thanked him for cleaning up.

I’m still years later unpacking all of this things that happened. Sometimes this group opens old wounds I forgot about.

And I’m thankful (for this sub). This was stuff I wasn’t prepared to face, understand and grow from then. I am now. It’s letting me reface and grow from the horrible things I allowed myself to endure because that’s what I thought I was worth.

(Edit: cleaned your grammar on the dog clotting solution stuff)

Magnolia05 · 2020-08-31T21:58:25+00:00

My ex who I was with for six years wouldn’t take off of work (he could have, just didn’t want to because he would have had to change some travel plans) to go to my father’s funeral with me. It was the beginning of the end.

BulkyMoose · 2020-08-31T17:51:27+00:00

[deleted]

Prinnykin · 2020-09-01T07:23:18+00:00

I accidentally got pregnant from a man I had just started dating. It was an ectopic pregnancy.

My fallopian tube burst and I was rushed to the ER in an ambulance. I had to have my tube removed and it was pretty traumatic. He never asked me if I was okay. He just completely ignored me and disappeared.

2020-08-31T18:34:24+00:00

I wish I had seen this last year

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2020-08-31T22:09:48+00:00

Typically, the only reliable man in my life is my dad.

One of my essential requirements for a partner is reliability in such emergencies now.

PrncssGmdrp · 2020-08-31T19:22:48+00:00

Needed to read this today. ❤️

MamiG13 · 2020-09-01T03:22:53+00:00

Yes. When I had a horrible stomach bug, i was in the hospital. Wondered why my kids dad didnt bother to come visit. My mom was watching our kids while he was ar work. Turns out he was coming back super late because he was out fucking his co worker.

sarstarss · 2020-09-01T03:15:39+00:00

Last year in May, my I got really sick at work and ended up having to go to the ER. My heart rate was going over 190 and my blood pressure was high, they took me in right away. My bosses and a co worker sat with me for four hours while they tried to get in touch with my ex husband. When they finally got a hold of him, he took his sweet time getting there and just didn’t seem to give a flying fuck. Exactly 3 months later he cheated on me. Needles to say, drop a fool who shows you once he doesn’t give a flying fuck.

moxymoxalone · 2020-09-01T04:39:34+00:00

Yeah, I would love to divorce him again just because it felt so damn good!

WRT my eye, when the skin tore it felt like literal crepe paper tearing so I now understand what all those skin experts are saying that the under eye area is so delicate. The doctor who sewed it up was great. He made sure to clean the little particles of mascara out of the opening before sewing up because he said it would always look like a dirty smudge and would drive me crazy if he didn’t. It took 5 very small stitches and butterfly tape. I can’t even see it now (20 years later) and actually have forgotten which eye it was.

Thanks for asking, sis.

SuccessfulShow5 · 2020-08-31T19:04:39+00:00

[deleted]

GlitteringAdvice2020 · 2020-08-31T19:36:46+00:00

👏👏👏

mscristalconnors · 2020-08-31T21:23:28+00:00

I cut a scrote off cause he failed...TWICE. I asked him to help build my furniture, he couldn’t. Then I told him I was moving and he said he could help me but after the first test...no thank you. Cut. Blocked. Adios.

Original1one · 2020-09-01T08:17:53+00:00

this post is totally triggering but an ex of mine did a lot of horrible stuff but nothing compared to when my half-brother died tragically. The ex and I had a fight the night before and woke up to the news. I was screaming, fell to the floor. I thought i was going to die. i sent him a message to come over and needed him and told him my brother had die, and he said "we broke up last night, go talk to your friends. I cannot be there for you anymore" i reached out to friends who drove and picked me up off the floor and took me to their house. i should have left then but i still stayed. he then reached out a week after telling me he was thinking about me but wanted to give me space.

jayohday · 2020-09-01T12:17:15+00:00

Oh. My. GOD. where has this sub been all of my life? I’m spending hours reading each morning/night. Obsessed. Thank you, mods 🙏

Tyrienne · 2020-09-01T15:00:22+00:00

Yes. Without a doubt:)

Word to the wise- vet ALL family and close friends by the same standard as well!

BongSlurper · 2020-09-01T12:38:37+00:00

I actually have a hospital rule that determines when/if I take a relationship to the level of being intimate.

Basically, if I got in an accident and was hospitalized, would I 1: even want that person by my side? And 2: would they drop everything to be by my side?

Until you’re that person for me, you don’t get to be inside me. If you don’t actually care enough about me to visit, then I don’t care about you enough to fuck you.

xdecadent · 2020-09-01T12:47:42+00:00

I experienced a home robbery a few years ago. It was around the time my ex was trying to get back with me. I told him I needed him to come and take me to run errands to secure the house. He sent me some money to change my locks but kept playing games about actually coming over. “If I come I can only stay for a few hours.” I was so confused but it was a game to him. He wanted me to beg for help. I told him “if you can’t come and stay the night, don’t come.” And I never heard from him again. That was 2 years ago. Good riddance!

typeadhd · 2020-09-01T09:15:39+00:00

Sooooo true

In fact don’t marry or date a man who would not do this for you

Savorycorncake · 2020-09-02T02:56:01+00:00

My dad died and I called my ex, he told me he was at a bbq and would call me once it was over. Disgusting.

asimovess · 2020-09-01T12:58:51+00:00

I used to think asking my ex to come fetch me when it was raining really heavily was too high maintenance, he sounded really annoyed! And then he made me wait 30 minutes more because he had to help a random stranger first (without even telling me that!)

2020-09-01T13:10:09+00:00

I asked a very handy man I was seeing a ton of for HELP with a small assembly project and he flat out refused. Wasn’t long before I broke up.

textbasedpanda · 2020-09-01T17:41:53+00:00

I've never thought about this. My BF would drop everything.... but my emergency contacts are still my brothers and (female) best friends, haha. Trust issues I guess.

oasisreverie · 2020-09-06T17:44:03+00:00

And if a man tells you he can't provide for you or can't be there for you when you need him, just ghost him.

He's letting you know that you're settling for him. That he truly ain't shit.

Title	PSA!!!!!
Author	MamiG13
Upvotes	685
Comments	48
Date	August 31, 2020 5:28 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ik2e9q/psa/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/psa.173157 https://theredarchive.com/post/173157

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