Reminder before you send!

dzgata · 2020-05-11T02:13:40+00:00

Don’t send at all ever not even to your husband. Especially not with your face or identifiers like tattoos, moles, birthmarks, scars etc.

ravenousraveryne · 2020-05-11T05:50:37+00:00

I was kinda naive a while ago...and I sent a few nudes (yes, with my face, ugh) to a guy I was involved with (this was before I found FDS). It eventually ended due to other reasons and he told me he deleted my nudes since we aren't together anymore. I kinda wanna trust him cuz he never gave me any reason not to, and he was always the honest one, but my anxious side is making up extreme scenarios in my head. I will, obviously, never send a nude again, but- how can I stop feeling so guilty and stupid everytime? Any ideas?

afrodeasyak · 2020-05-11T04:19:57+00:00

Never send nudes, it's not worth it at all. Doesn't matter if your face is showing or not. I've always been a huge "no nudes" advocate in my friend's group and it made me realise who are the pickmeishas and who were level headed.

BlackThummb · 2020-05-11T05:40:02+00:00

Also just a reminder not to even take nude photos on your phone, even if you have no intention of sending them. Hackers are everywhere.

Davina33 · 2020-05-11T06:27:32+00:00

Nope, never ever! I don't even take nudes of myself in the first place! I got dragged in the datingoverforty sub for saying just this the other day. I do not care though, it is asking for trouble.

radical__daphne · 2020-05-11T03:36:45+00:00

It has nothing to do with whether you trust the man. Men are liars and they get these photos not just to jerk off to, but so that they have power over the woman and they can manipulate and blackmail her if she tries to leave.

girludontbringhome · 2020-05-11T03:50:05+00:00

Whenever I see the don’t send nudes posts on here, I actually was curious what all of you thought about Snapchat. I know a lot of people who will send nudes back and forth through Snapchat that supposedly disappear in seconds, but how secure is that actually?

Painterly_Princess · 2020-05-11T09:32:28+00:00

Just make sure to have a pic of him too, especially getting pegged or in a submissive pose 🤷‍♀️

jeanneeebeanneee · 2020-05-11T06:15:38+00:00

I don't understand the craze about nudes. I admire boudoir and some beautiful erotic photographs taken by professionals, but it's still a personal thing and shouldn't be shared with any man you meet online. You should keep such pictures for yourself only.

You can look sexy without taking your clothes off. If a man doesn't have imagination, dumb such man... Let's have some secrets, ladies.

YveisGrey · 2020-05-11T09:49:50+00:00

I will end it immediately if a guy wants nudes. Be more classy and don't ask me for nudes!

Harriett- · 2020-05-11T10:16:04+00:00

Reminder before you send nudes: Never send them.

Novemberinthechair · 2020-05-11T09:51:56+00:00

That this has to be pointed out marks these times as a dystopia for women. I mean, come on.

eatchickpeas · 2020-05-11T12:56:25+00:00

men use nudes as a weapon, they share it with their friends and family then get upset if you were to do the same. if a man asks you for a nude you should ask for one as well

YveisGrey · 2020-05-11T12:58:21+00:00

[deleted]

YveisGrey · 2020-05-11T13:27:09+00:00

Remember never send. Ever. Under any circumstances.

RavenJaybelle · 2020-05-11T15:03:17+00:00

Fun fact. There is an app that bypasses snapchat's screenshot notification. So yes, he could be saving them with you having no idea.

My ex husband out of the blue became OBSESSED with wanting me to send him photos. Like, flat out harassing about it several times each week. It was during a period when I was desperately trying to save our marriage (a one sided effort), mostly for the sake of our young kids. So I finally relented and did it off and on for a couple of years.

Fast forward a bit. I found that app on his phone (I didn't even know that something like that existed before that day).... And found a flashdrive with hundreds of those pics he had saved without me having any idea he was doing it.

So yeah. Trust no one. You have no idea if they are being saved or what is being done with them. :(

0kfornow · 2020-05-11T12:31:49+00:00

Never send

roxymoxi · 2020-05-11T08:08:51+00:00

My favorite is when they ask for nudes and i say no, i dont send out blackmail. It usually continues with:

Them- I promise I won't show anyone.

Me- i know you won't, because I'm not sending them to you.

Them- well if you aren't going to send me anything in don't think we can keep talking lol (the lol is always infuriating because they just don't care and I know it, but it's always such a bummer to realize)

Me- cool, I'm gonna block you, when I see you at the bar please don't bother saying hi, this isn't worth it.

fairywakes · 2020-05-11T09:59:13+00:00

I needed this now more than ever.

Sarah_Fishcakes · 2020-05-11T10:44:39+00:00

All men are liars!

REDfanradfem · 2020-05-11T05:53:39+00:00

I read an article that explains that in the Netherlands some ‘loverboys’ uses your nude to get you trafficked / be a prostitute and let him keep the money you make. So please reminder this before sending nudes!!

puppybite · 2020-05-11T07:34:34+00:00

The correct answer is always “no.”

It’s more about giving them that power. You cannot do it in a society that tears down your reputation and possibly even your livelihood with your sexuality.

Sure you might be a “cool girl” for a while. I have never Been happy about sending a compromising photo long term. Always regretted it.

There is nothing to gain in a society that bases a woman’s value on their purity and sexuality... and uses it to tear them down. punish, degrade, objectify humiliate.

Never give a man that power over you. Ask yourself honestly, what do YOU have to gain in this situation?

If a man truly cares about you. They would understand. How many men have blackmailed, humiliated, compromised women’s careers over their bodies? Men know this. They use it as a tool against you and never risk even a chance of this happening the second they change their attitude towards you.

boiledgatorade_ · 2020-05-11T15:49:37+00:00

Whoops looks like my comment didn’t post with the main pic. It said: Moral of the story: DONT SEND !

Peak_Tree · 2020-05-11T16:10:02+00:00

This comment (the replies) is all you need to know about nudes:

https://np.reddit.com/r/BlackPeopleTwitter/comments/5kxh5z/my_snapchat_is_slick_rick/dbrk769/

RadarFemef · 2020-05-12T04:28:42+00:00

I’ve never sent a naked pic and never will. I don’t think there’s anything shameful about it, but it’s just too risky. I will never trust another person with a photo like that and I’ll always know that if someone claims to have one of me it’s fake. Sad that even that had a risk

livingup2020 · 2020-05-16T21:41:02+00:00

My ex kept asking to take pics/ vids during sex. And I said let me film you first and take a few pics of you. And he went quite and never asked me again lol

Title	Reminder before you send!
Author	boiledgatorade_
Upvotes	1193
Comments	54
Date	May 11, 2020 2:06 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gheomk/reminder_before_you_send/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/reminder-before-you-send.676488 https://theredarchive.com/post/676488

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