Same, Queen. No more walking on eggshells or living in fear always anxiously anticipating the next outburst.

ManchurianCantaloupe · 2020-12-27T20:46:52+00:00

Blocking exits or physically moving you when you've told him you're upset or have tried to establish a boundary is a MASSIVE red flag. Even if he's doing it "playfully," or in a way that doesn't seem blatantly aggressive (i.e. remaining calm or smiling, pouting, or saying "don't be like that! just talk to me!" while physically blocking you from an exit, picking you up, holding your phone/keys/whatever, etc.)

Every man who has done this to me has eventually escalated to violence.

SwirlyButterfly · 2020-12-27T21:12:03+00:00

My ex would often have rages that included him shoving his face inches from mine and screaming at the top of his lungs at me. Anything could cause an outburst, and after a while I learned to just "play dead" as in make myself as small as possible and stay quiet. He had never physically hit me, but threatened to and would talk about how much he wanted to. I went into the relationship confident and outspoken, and soon became a shell of myself when I was around him. I wish I would have ran in the beginning of the relationship when he admitted to having anger issues, but I was naive and never thought his anger would ever be directed towards me. I advise any woman to leave at the first sign of anger issues, it never gets better, and will often turn into abuse.

UrsulaVanTentacles · 2020-12-27T21:41:32+00:00

This is how the abuse started for me. These are glaring red flags. The screaming turned into grabbing my face, or arms so I couldn't walk away. To angrily pushing past me or elbowing me hard and claiming it was an "accident", I'm "making it something its not" (gaslighting the hell out of me), holes in walls, things thrown around, to eventually full blown punches, kicks, and choking. If someone is experiencing these things please, please leave at the first sign. It always escalates. Run.

Pasdepromesses · 2020-12-27T21:44:35+00:00

Also watch out for men with silent rage who can explode (melt down) but also be eerily silent and cunning. There’s no in between. These are the guys I’m most afraid of.

shakethat_milkshake · 2020-12-28T01:11:42+00:00

Nope. Nope. Nopenopenope. I am allergic to people with anger problems now. I have no angry people in my life anymore and I'll never have anyone like that in my life again. My relationship with my ex was like a prison sentence. He was mercurial and angry often, but explosively angry after a single drink. I'll never go back.

Ladies, if you have angry people in your life, let them go. Everyday of your life free of anger is a day that you gift love and peace to yourself.

I know that's not always possible; I was raised by an angry parent. I can't let that relationship go but I moved far as fuck away.

tinyoceankisses · 2020-12-27T21:13:11+00:00

This reminds me of my ex who raised his voice and caused drama because I left my phone at home😶😶 every day I wake up happy knowing that I'm free from someone else's anger issues

Suspicious-Leg-1407 · 2020-12-28T00:04:44+00:00

This goes for mentors, trainers, teachers, doctors... anyone paid for a service.

I've had male lawyers, male coaches, and male doctors full on yell at me. I fired all of them.

missgirl649 · 2020-12-28T00:14:03+00:00

Oh man I’ve been saying this for so long but everyone always says some shit about “well just because he has a temper doesn’t make him a bad person”. Sure, it may not make him a bad person, but I sure as hell don’t want to deal with it and I’ll break up with someone over it. I dated a guy with road rage, would slam doors, storm around the house, raise his voice, threw things around, and would need like two hours after work to “calm down” where I’d be walking on eggshells the whole time. Never again.

Davina33 · 2020-12-27T23:07:04+00:00

So glad I'm single. I left my ex over stuff like this. I no longer want to be afraid. Just me and my baby cat safe and alone.

Maude2010 · 2020-12-28T01:01:54+00:00

I’ve literally never heard my dad raise his voice. I’ve never heard him swear. He doesn’t even honk his car horn unless it’s an emergency. It’s really protected me because I find yelling and swearing and speeding and honking and slamming doors and stomping and all that stuff so jarring that I’ll just back away.

I once turned down a job offer because the interviewer kept slamming his hand and files onto his desk during my interview and I found it startling and aggressive. He freaked me out and I didn’t want to work for him.

I know that this is kind of extreme, but I used to have a glass coffee table and even men tossing their keys or watches onto it bothered me. Like why make such a racket and potentially ruin my stuff when you can just place it down?

pineapple_typhoon · 2020-12-28T00:42:25+00:00

I heard once that “a man who raises his voice to you will eventually raise his hand to you”, and I’m not about to stick around for that. So scary and true.

blerty567 · 2020-12-27T23:42:23+00:00

This was my entire dating life 😔 every time, the scent of being abused gets more and more ingrained into me. Men can smell it on me.

I’m scared to start dating again.

methamphetamile · 2020-12-27T23:28:34+00:00

Such childish behaviour.

getbentgent · 2020-12-28T00:41:08+00:00

My ex had such fits of rage that I had to call the cops and get him enrolled in anger management classes. He punched walls and doors, even punched his car's windshield over the stupidest shit. I have no idea why I stuck it out with him for so long, hoping for a change. I will never get with another dude who has so many issues going on. It's not worth losing my sanity over

LittleWinn · 2020-12-28T02:35:25+00:00

SAME. I tell every man I date this, first thing. You ever raise your voice to me we are done. No second chances. I’ve stuck to it, and never been in a verbally or physically abusive relationship. If you knew who my dad was you’d know that’s an insane accomplishment.

ChocolateBiscuit96 · 2020-12-27T23:56:51+00:00

I happily go back and forth with men. Ain’t no man gonna treat me any old type of way... I dare a man to touch me (that’s all I’ll say lol).

tinyoceankisses · 2020-12-28T08:58:46+00:00

[deleted]

Title	Same, Queen. No more walking on eggshells or living in fear always anxiously anticipating the next outburst.
Author	QueenBeeJubilee
Upvotes	1029
Comments	59
Date	December 27, 2020 6:06 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kl86vg/same_queen_no_more_walking_on_eggshells_or_living/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/same-queen-no-more-walking-on-eggshells-or-living.746618 https://theredarchive.com/post/746618

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