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sillychickengirl
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
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[–]fireforestfairyFDS Newbie130 points131 points132 points 5 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, most of them are not truly nice. They're just trying to portray themselves as victims to get people to feel sorry for them.
[–]Geocities_SEO_ExpertFDS STRATEGY COACH64 points65 points66 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This. One of my ex bfs did a lot of pity-seeking behavior, and I listened to a lot of monologues about how women just don't appreciate nice guys like him. I thought he had legitimately had a rough time and was honest about how he appreciated my being different. Nope.
In retrospect, I had had a much harder life, and never went on rants about how hard I had it. I rarely even let on when I was having a rough time, which was very often.
[–]jfarmwell123FDS Newbie44 points45 points46 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah I dated a very similar guy. He was actually so overly concerned with being perceived as "nice" that he would flip out if someone questioned his behavior. Tbh I think he was lowkey a covert narcissist and I decided to nope out of that situation once I realized. Someone who has to repeatedly say they're "nice" or a "good person" probably isn't one. Because nice people do shit just because - not because they're looking for a cookie afterwards.
Of course once we broke up, I was all of a sudden "fat" and an "ungrateful bitch" 😂
[–][deleted] 42 points43 points44 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
One thing I keep noticing about "nice" guys is how arrogant and entitled they all are, probably because throughout life their default "I'm nice and thus I get things from people" enabled them to continue this pattern and they're expecting it to translate well into romantic relationships. Spoiler alert: it doesn't.
[–]balancedlyf29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly if you truly are nice, people should be able to perceive you as nice. You shouldn’t have to tell them
[–]atuanFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Nice means entitled here. They forced themselves to be nice in order to obtain a goal and the goal didn't happen so they get mad and say "but I was NICE??" and they're genuinely confused by it.
[–]brainsssszzzzz0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. Also, "nice" in the coin they put in the machine- it's the currency they pay to get something. It's not actual kindness and decency if you expect something out of it.
I think "charming" people often have this problem, too. They naturally know how to make people laugh and/or like them, and they skate through life on that without realizing how empty they are.
[–]intergalacticanon44FDS Newbie117 points118 points119 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I think anyone who insists that they are one thing almost always tend to be the very opposite of that thing
[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple41 points42 points43 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nvms: “I’m a nice guy!” FDS woman : <running away >
[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I had a coworker tell me I could trust her and she would never tell anyone what was said between us. Uh huh. 🙄
[–]headytomatoFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I call that play "The Umbridge" after the Harry Potter character
[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Makes sense as she is also fake sweet with me. Lol
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If that ain't the truth!
[–]aliengames666FDS Newbie104 points105 points106 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I fell into this trap at some point when as a gay girl I started dating girls. I didn’t realize that the problem wasn’t that I was “nice”, it was that I was obviously insecure/people pleasing/trying to convince women I was something/not setting boundaries/etc. and those characteristics ARE NOT ATTRACTIVE TO ANYONE.
Once I settled into being my full, authentic self, it was a lot easier to find girls who wanted to date me and the whole “women don’t like nice people” thing started to slip away.
Nice is just the most boring base level characteristic anyone could have anyway. It’s not definitive enough to be the reason someone rejects you. That men blame rejection on being “nice” is really disgusting because it makes it the woman’s fault they aren’t desired (instead of taking a good honest look at themselves) while also like validating in their minds that they’re great people, or that they deserve something in exchange for being “nice”.
[–]atuanFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes they confuse people pleasing with being nice and the difference is people pleasing is being fake and doing things ONLY in order to get a result back from a person. Then when you don't get the result they get mad and think but I did what I was supposed to do???
[–]PahapanFDS Disciple200 points201 points202 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
And most asshole boyfriends/husbands don't start out that way. They're smart enough to put on an act until the woman catches feelings, then they'll start dropping the façade and catch her up in a trauma bond.
[–]plasticineidkFDS Newbie128 points129 points130 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was telling my old housemate my ex was an asshole and he went “but I bet that’s what attracted you to him!”
EW no, we don’t go for them. It comes out later.
This housemate turned out to be the biggest misogynistic fuckwit, go figure
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You speak so much truth.
[–]OutlandishnessTiny14FDS Newbie66 points67 points68 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Totally, plus “niceness” has been used as a tool to manipulate women into compliance with men’s expectations of them and tolerate their bullshit since ever. Whenever a guy I’ve turned down then turns around and says I’m not “nice” it’s always meant “not compliant” or “not willing to look past my shitty behaviour”. Every. Single. Effing. Time.
It’s a word I try to eradicate from my vocabulary altogether because it’s empty.
[–]amyanubisFDS Newbie56 points57 points58 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Nice people don't go around announcing how nice they are. I've looked in to statement analysis and for example if a man tells the police or anyone else that he is "just a normal married man" he's most likely a paedophile or something as dark. It's a red flag as either he himself knows or has been told that he's not "normal". I'd urge all women to look up Peter Hyatt a statement analysis expert on YouTube so you may be armed with more weapons against these monsters.
[–][deleted] 14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Thanks so much for the tip! I'd never heard of him before and honestly had never even thought about that... God, you really have to keep an eye out for literally everything these days 😳
[–]amyanubisFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yep! My neighbour kept telling me he was a "nice guy" and it set alarms off in my head. Turns out he'd been to prison for manslaughter and then a few months later I hear him attacking his girlfriend and she comes round screaming and knocking on my door for help.
[–]moonartemis1989FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
what happened after that?
[–]amyanubisFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I gave her a lecture on allowing his behaviour and to leave him. She went back the same night and they moved away not long after.
[–]moonartemis1989FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
oh god, doesnt sound good
[–]Ghost_namesakeFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks for the tip! This is fascinating. Thinking back over some of the weirdos I've met, I think you're on to something.
[–]amyanubisFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It is also excellent for detecting lies.
[–]smilodon91Throwaway Account1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Shakespeare said this a long time ago. I think the line is from Macbeth. Please correct me if not. "Methinks he doth protest too much".
[–]juju0716FDS Newbie49 points50 points51 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Do not trust self proclaimed nice guys. Elliot Rodgers was a mass murderer who considered himself a "nice guy". He was a virgin and he was resentful towards women for choosing other men, not him, and hated women for not liking nice guys like himself. He called himself a "supreme gentlemen". And just based on my personal experience, the ones who consider themselves a nice guy are incels and many of them are actually even more sick minded.
[–]ksprayred45 points46 points47 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Said more succinctly: “nice” isn’t a personality trait, it’s a strategy
[–]Cool-Fill9819FDS Newbie102 points103 points104 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
My older brother is the perfect definition of a NiCe GuY.
The dude was texting me on the phone for over an hour on how women will choose "hood guys" instead of him. I mean that's a no brainer when he has nothing to show. Never pursued academia or any technical skills; is completely dependent on my parents; a full-ass MOMMAS BOY; doesn't cook (that I know of); has been unemployed for a LONG time now -- and shows no signs or interest of getting a job.
When I made that known to him. The dude went hay-wire he insulted me on the school I am currently attending for grad school (since it's not highly recognized) and proceeds to say how all his friends have way better-paying jobs than me and have no college credentials to show. Only if he were to actually follow the lead of his friends.
The dude has been chasing women forever and has yet to find one. I mean grow-up GROWN ASS MAN.
I am so done, so done with this man child. Sad thing is my parents enable his behavior.
[–]windowseat4lifeFDS Newbie39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Omg he hasn't gone to college & he has the audacity to try to bring you down for the grad school you're in?? At least you're in grad school. He's just a loser living with his parents. Jesus these guys are freaking stupid. That is classic gaslighting right there.
[–]Cool-Fill9819FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep! Freaking stupid is right. Not to add full of shit. Dude had to go on and on about all his friends accomplishments, but had nothing to show for himself. Btw he's 30 about to hit 31. Yeah...
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Girl, good for you, cut him out of your life. What a waste of space!
[–]Cool-Fill9819FDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree, and I will!
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
he's your brother, always love him but love him from afar girl until he gets his shit together.. trust me..and if it's never then that's how it is..due to HIM..
He's about to be 31. I don't see him getting his shit together anytime soon, unfortunately. He's a hopeless cause. I've encouraged him to pursue higher academia or at least a trade for a long time and no changes. Sad.
[–]SoftritoFDS Apprentice31 points32 points33 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Covert narcissist I presume fall into this category
[–]fireforestfairyFDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah. Every narcist views himself as nice.
[–]BBQCoolRanchQueenFDS Apprentice20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's my hard and fast rule; if "nice" means "doesn't beat women, and doesn't cheat", that's not EVEN the bare minimum. Usually these "nice guys" do end up cheating and laying their hands on women, and the ones that don't end up verbally and psychologically abusing women. I dated a "nice guy" (not the neckbeard type) when I was younger and naive. Didn't hit me, but boy did his tongue wound worse than any knife could cut. I couldn't do anything right. His constant stream of abuse threw me into a deep depression and lead me to give up playing guitar, singing, writing, and art. And he cheated. Turns out he had a rotation of women because "I'm the nice guy who's friends with all his exes". Didn't last more than 9 months. 1/10 would not recommend. Also, I'll give him a 1 star on DickAdvisor.
[–]DoversBlueFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
An actual quote by Gavin Becker, who wrote a book called, The Gift of Fear to help people identify potential abusers, that I live by:
"We must teach our children that niceness does not equal goodness. Niceness is a decision, a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait. People seeking to control others almost always present the image of a nice person in the beginning."
[–]YgirlYBFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I don't know if I'm doing mental gymnastics here, but doesn't proclaiming you are nice to someone and expecting admiration for that presuppose their subservience? Like, oh the guy is nice to animals how sweet = that guy is nice to women? Sorry it's early here 😁
[+][deleted] 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]szuszik4FDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
To "nice guys", nice isn't even a personality trait, it's a manipulation strategy. I unfortunately know multiple men like that who have straight up admitted to my face that they pretend to be kind and to be into the same politics and hobbies as the girl they're interested in, even if they personally hate the girls hobbies and beliefs and look down on them, so that she will be more likely to have sex with them/get in a relationship with them. And these men think that lying to someone to get sex and a relationship from them is "nice" and "loving" behaviour. Absolute psychopaths.
"Nice guys" are angry and stewing with resentment because they put in all this effort into lying and pretending to be someone else, only for it to turn out to be fruitless. Legitimately nice people don't do this, and "nice guys" are easy to detect because whether they like it or not their masks keep on slipping and it's relatively easy to pick up on them. They're bitter because they wish they were like the more "successful" psychopathic and sociopathic men who are good at manipulation and lying. This is why red pill garbage and pua bullshit is so popular amongst men like this, they want to learn how to manipulate women more efficiently. They don't actually give a single fuck about being nice, or being good people, they only care about themselves and their nasty smegma encrusted dicks. They're solipsistic, selfish, and entitled.
[–]ChonkyCatzPlzFDS Newbie27 points28 points29 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I gave a "nice guy" a chance. Turned out he was pornsick, couldn't wipe his ass properly and supported Trump
Nice my ass
Are all Trump supporters addidcted to porn or vise-versa? I knew a guy (a while back) that was like this LOL.
[–]jenhenfofen13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My husband...soon-to-be-ex-husband is a nice guy.
Ugh.
[–]-pop-fizz-clinkFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you're telling me you're nice, instead of showing it... Just yikes.
Women are not vending machines. You don't put Nice Tokens and have sex come out.
I love this, because nice is NOT a personality trait. Nice is the bare minimum. I love that this was indicated.
Nice ≠ kind, empathetic.. etc.
[–]GreytracksuitPantsFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When you are a “Nice” person you look to go out of your way to be nice and let everyone know how nice you are, when you don’t get any of what you seek in return for being nice are you still really that nice?
[–]LadyGrimesFDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"nice" is just an act to get you into bed with them.
[–]berned-outFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Men and boys, always trying to talk their way out of work and self improvement.
OPEN A BOOK AND LEARN HOW TO PLEASE PEOPLE, fellas. This is the way to what you seek.
[–]BasieSkanksRuthless Strategist2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My ex would always say he was a nice guy and that it was unfair he couldn't get women. This "nice guy":
So yeah. Fuck nice guys.
[–]PasDeToutFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you have to tell people you’re nice, you’re not that nice.
Also nice is a lot more than not doing horrible things: thinking you’re nice because you don’t beat women up or rape them is a pretty low bar to set yourself.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Most men fantasize about bullying women, as a gender rule of thumb.
Being "nice-ish" in general means nothing, even if he is kinda nice-ish to his buds and strangers.
When it comes down to nuts and bolts, we will be disrespected within a relationship.
[–]daisy_0720FDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nice Guys are a particularly frustrating breed to deal with, because while your run-of-the-mill fuckboy will at least probably admit he's an asshole or not good for you, Nice Guys lack even that level of self-awareness. They've convinced themselves that they're 'nice', ergo, nothing they ever do is wrong. They will never admit fault or be accountable for their actions. Everything is always someone else's fault. God forbid you suggest that their behavior is the reason they got dumped or are perpetually single. Nope, that can't it be it, it's all the fault of the cruel woman that broke his heart and didn't appreciate his pure, Nice Guy dick soul!
[–]LegallyParisFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Truer words have never been spoken.
These days "nice guy" = one who hasn't committed any serious crimes.
[–]SayNadFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
NiceGuyTM are raging misogynists that thinks women are beneath them and should serve them like king till we are wrung dry, but still look like the perfect sex doll of their dreams. While looking like shrek being punched in the face 132788 times. And literally have zero attractive traits - unless you are attracted to a whiny manchild.
At least jocks and chads got the looks and the stamina to go with their douche-ness, and can intimidate other guys in public setting so you are less likely to be harassed.
What can NiceGuyTM do for us?
[+][deleted] 5 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]SayNadFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Nah I am framing it in terms of "the lesser evil of the two" - both are in fact LVM and should be avoided at all cost. Been in those circle for way too long sis, the covert narcissists these NiceGuyTM can be... it is really something else. God Complex level I tell ya.
Especially when you are my age - there is a fuck ton of NiceGuyTM out there because being a blatant douche won't work on the ladies anymore. So "nice" is the new game for them.
And you can call me whatever you like, notice how I say NiceGuyTM and not men.
[–]DoversBlueFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Glad you cleared that up. Indeed, they are both LVM and should be avoided.
[–]saint-jezebelFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s the giant bag of dicks for me.
[–]forgivemefashionFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dickity dick dick dickwad
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[+][deleted] (11 children) | Copy Link
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[–]fireforestfairyFDS Newbie130 points131 points132 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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