If Men Really Are the Problem in Relationships Then Why is the Lesbian Divorce Rate So High?

BalloonPilotDude · 2024-05-29T04:27:03+00:00

All that speculation in the article for her to reach the same unsurprising, low effort, catch all conclusion that all feminists do for everything they can’t easily explain or dismiss.

Zoinks, it was ‘The Patriarchy’ all along Scooby!

EfficientSimplicity · 2024-05-29T05:07:49+00:00

Don’t forget that gay men have the least divorces, DV, and highest incomes

Felarhin · 2024-05-29T05:01:43+00:00

Men are the problem in everything because we have just sort of been getting like a -5 charisma modifier on every action we take for some reason. I.E. You cured cancer. "I bet you're just doing it for money or to get with women."

Punder_man · 2024-05-29T05:08:10+00:00

Women initiate around 70% of all divorces.. so I guess it tracks that lesbian women are just as likely to initiate divorce..
What's really surprising is the stats of Female on Female domestic violence.. and how Lesbian women are more likely to encounter / be victims of domestic violence at the hands of their female partner than they are by men..

But of course our feminist overlords don't let disgusting things like nuance and facts get in their way of pushing a narrative..

So why then do they circle around to blame Men / The Patriarchy?
Its simple..

In their mind one of the female partners is 'pressured' to assume the "male role" in the relationship and thus they end up taking on the gender norms expressed by "The Patriarchy" and become pseudo-men and for this reason its still men's fault when lesbian women divorce or commit domestic violence..

Because after all.. accountability is a tool of "The Patriarchy" and holding women accountable for their words / actions only serves to support "The Patriarchy"

Or something like that I guess?

Jaded_Permit_7209 · 2024-05-29T05:28:15+00:00

I'm going to give you a few different explanations. The first three will be the feminist-approved reasoning, the last the hard truth.

According to feminists, there are multiple reasons for this. First, they believe that since women initiate the vast majority of divorces, women have the emotional capacity to leave an unhappy relationship, while men will suffer in silence for years. Their second explanation is that lesbians will progress a relationship too quickly, which would naturally result in higher divorce rates. There's an ongoing joke in the LGBT community about lesbians moving in together on the third date.

The third reason they tend to give is that women in heterosexual marriages are afraid of the men they're married to, while women in lesbian marriages are not afraid of the women they're married to. This ignores the fact that lesbian relationships have the highest incidence of domestic violence, but I suppose it makes sense to them.

So you see, hilariously enough, two out of three of their most common reasons for lesbian divorce rates blame men directly. I expect nothing from feminists, yet I still manage to be disappointed from time to time.

Now, onto the actual reason:

Lesbians are abusive as hell. I'm not only talking physical abuse here; I'm talking constant degrading, intimidation, lying, controlling, and neglecting. You see, heterosexual women subject men to the same types of abuse, but it's seldom considered abuse when the target is a man.

If a lesbian shrieks at her female partner for not doing the dishes correctly, it's abuse.

If a heterosexual woman shrieks at her male partner for not doing the dishes correctly, well, maybe he should have done the dishes correctly? She's overwhelmed and distraught with carrying the mental load all this time and dealing with his weaponized incompetence.

See how that works? Men are gaslighted into believing that the abuse they suffer at the hands of women is not actually abuse, and that they brought it upon themselves. Women are taught the opposite, where any perceived mistreatment by their partner is abusive.

So yeah. The actual reason that nobody wants to admit has a lot to do with 70% of nonreciprocal domestic violence being perpetuated by women. No shit things are going to go south pretty fast when you put two of them in a relationship.

virphirod · 2024-05-29T05:38:33+00:00

Because of partriarchy. When there's no man in a relationship, the woman has to take the man's role. Woman are not used to being a man, so she has to double the effort in this partriachal society. She needs to put more work to get the same wage as men. Hence, lesbian couples end up with such a high divorce rate. Partriachy and men to blame for this as usual. . . . /s

FishRaposo1 · 2024-05-29T06:35:47+00:00

Fun fact: domestic violence rates are directly proportional to the number of women in a relationship.

Unnecessary_Timeline · 2024-05-29T08:22:20+00:00

I am a gay man and I’ve met some fantastic and really cool lesbian women in my life. But I do notice a trend that the cool ones are exclusively the single ones. And if they get into to a relationship after we become friends, she’ll completely disappear from my life.

in my experience, it’s very common for a lesbian woman in a new relationship to completely lose themselves in that new relationship, so much so that she neglects all other relationships in her life and just kind of disappears from everybody else.

That kind of behavior is literally starting the relationship with a foundation ripe for codependency and emotional manipulation.

And, unfortunately in my experience, every lesbian I know has been in a physically abusive relationship with another woman. my own sister is a lesbian and she told me that she suffered through a severely physically abusive relationship while she was in college that she hid from everybody.

Also, I used to have a lesbian friend whose relationships seemed to always be mutually abusive. I was never present to witness abuse, but they both always talked about how physical they were with each other and both always had bruises. And they talked about it as if they were proud.

and I’m talking about a wide age range of lesbian women, from like 20 to 52, throughout the past 15 years.

It sucks that it’s such a persistent experience for me because my experiences make me not very open to befriending new lesbians

HunterRenegade09 · 2024-05-29T05:20:02+00:00

I will tell you about the mental gymnastics feminists play to explain this. I might be paraphrasing a bit, but this is what one such person told me when asked about this issue.

Lesbians have suffered so much trauma from straight men. Hence they get mentally messed up which leads to these instances. Blame the patriarchy, not victims.

😂

Suspicious-Sleep5227 · 2024-05-29T04:30:40+00:00

I believe this is what the scientific community calls a “confounding variable” which has a habit of shaking bullshit loose from a hypothesis.

mrkpxx · 2024-05-29T05:59:35+00:00

Women's violence against women

https://www.spectator.com.au/2023/07/lesbian-domestic-violence-proves-its-not-just-a-male-problem/

Studies on lesbian violence show that women can be more violent in intimate relationships than men. Violence among same-sex couples is two to three times more common than among married heterosexual couples.

A victim rate of 43.8% was found for lesbians, making them the second most affected group by violence after bisexual women (61.1%) and ahead of heterosexual women (35%). Gay men are at 26%.

hasbulla_magomedov · 2024-05-29T05:28:23+00:00

I think a lot of marriages collapse when the woman is unhappy. A man could be unhappy for months or years but will suppress it. But the moment the wife is unhappy she needs to take action

Low_Rich_5436 · 2024-05-29T06:16:56+00:00

Neuroticism is the personnality trait associated with unstable moods and a tendency for depression. Women on average rate higher on neuroticism.

It's not rocket science.

Ryuhi · 2024-05-29T11:21:42+00:00

Hmmh, i think it is double the divorce rate compared to gay men, not straight couples. This was UK data, correct? I think the UK divorce rate generally is 42%, so that would still make lesbian divorce a bit less common, if it is that 30% figure? Or am I missing some thing.

I still find it telling: Gay men get divorced less and according to other studies have less domestic violence.

Not that I would say that as a gay man, everything is perfect, but I feel like heterosexual men definitely have to put up with lots of undeserved crap in a way that is not really fair.

And that is not just because of more “equality”, because if it was, lesbian and gay relationships should be equal.

And I do not really think gay men and straight men are that fundamentally different.

Vegetable_Ad1732 · 2024-05-29T04:02:15+00:00

Good point.

Current_Finding_4066 · 2024-05-29T06:56:05+00:00

Rate of violence is amongst the highest in lesbian relationships too. I am pretty sure studies that concluded women are responsible for the majority of DV are on to something.

BlueThespian · 2024-05-29T11:03:44+00:00

Don’t know, but gay marriage between males has a higher success rate, or so I heard, don’t let women fool you. They are just as aggressive as any other human being and the cases of domestic violence between women within lesbian marriages are proof enough of that, see how that pans out in court since the argument of “men are too aggressive” falls flat in a lesbian marriage.

Edit: So how would the goods and alimony payments even work out?

Spiritual-Angle-1224 · 2024-05-29T11:04:50+00:00

Yep. I learned that women are the real problem after I took the red pill and went MGTOW.

Imissyourgirlfriend2 · 2024-05-29T12:31:01+00:00

Stop noticing things.

CordCarillo · 2024-05-29T11:30:58+00:00

On top of this, gay male marriages are more likely to last than hetero marriages.

Lord_Kazekage_20 · 2024-05-29T11:36:09+00:00

Also might I add lesbians also have the highest domestic violence rate. With hetero being second and gay men being the least.

Rocketronic0 · 2024-05-29T12:52:46+00:00

On another news, 100% of Lesbian divorces are initiated by women.

aBlackKing · 2024-05-29T16:51:59+00:00

What I find funny is that lesbians love to pretend it’s really heterosexuals who have problems e.g. arethestraightsok or whatever that sub is. The CDC literally stopped tracking DV by sexuality to try to mask the problem.

SarcasticallyCandour · 2024-05-29T12:31:35+00:00

They're projecting onto men.

If we look at these feminists whether they're straight or not they're pompous, macho, tough, excessive bad language and correcting everyone else, main character syndrome etc. Usually they dont believe in equality, they make it up as thry go along.

They are what they accuse others of.

NibblyPig · 2024-05-29T18:08:37+00:00

I expect the reason is most lesbians are not actually lesbians.

Seems not uncommon for women to suddenly declare themselves gay after a traumatic relationshp/breakup. However the same does not happen for men.

Wonderful_Working315 · 2024-05-29T13:22:50+00:00

Now look at the lesbian domestic violence stats

corpo_mazdoor_391072 · 2024-05-29T13:57:32+00:00

Lesbian marriages fare even worse than gay marriages (which ironically have a lower failure rate than hetero ones

Not ironically though, more men = more stable marriage

UniversityEastern542 · 2024-05-29T16:42:49+00:00

Most feminists are aware that men, in general, are not the problem. Attempts to blame men for increasing divorce rates and decreasing relationship satisfaction, despite women having more control and influence over relationships and dating than any other point in history, are arguments made in bad faith to demonize men, because "opposite sex bad" is trope that always sells.

Admitting that women are just as, if not more complicit, in the destruction of the family unit and traditional relationships doesn't leave feminists with any good options. Any attempt to reestablish traditional gender roles is inevitably seen as regressive and limiting women's opportunities in life (because our society has a very narrow definition of what "success" looks like, and it's not growing old with a happy, loving family), but it's also becoming increasingly obvious that people won't have kids in an "every man for themselves" society, which makes us a biological and cultural deadend. Acting like the other sex is full of bad actors is an easy way for aging people to cope with this new reality.

Rad_Knight · 2024-05-29T10:27:58+00:00

There is a reason gay used to mean happy.

wordjedi · 2024-05-29T19:43:07+00:00

I've believed for years what's wrong with modern western women is delayed marriage compared to previous decades.

They get showered with attention and praise, for doing literally nothing except being young + not fat. Just don't eat 5000 calories per day and be born female and you will BELIEVE life is easy and you don't really have to try.

Now apply that model to your life after 40. (It's not going to go so well)

Odd_Gene_7314 · 2024-05-29T13:42:56+00:00

(Mid-Age Man here)

Hi OP. I'm going to give some answer to your question from what I've seen (mostly 3).

For marriage there are some factors to consider:

1) Survivorship bias - Not everyone is supposed to get married. Children are raised in communities where most of the adults are married or at least in relationships (your parents, and your friends parents). So many people are not compatible with the lifestyle that marriage needs. Yet many still get married, both gay and straight, because that's what apparently every adult does, and pressure from older generation to get married. Just like college, most people don't know it isn't for them until it's too late.

2) Calibration of normal marriage - American children are overwhelmingly exposed to television, social media, internet streaming, and fantasy. These are fun shows meant to be an ESCAPE from reality, not a MODEL for how marriage or even relationships are supposed to be. Girls far more than boys are taught that marriage is the ticket to a happy life, and "once you get married everything will be OK!". (Bullshit) In reality all relationships are hard and take effort. They are not passive or 'brought to you by these messages'. Western kids are calibrated to believe that this fantasy is supposed to be reality, and it's convenient to blame the other person when reality disappoints.

3) Gay Marriage vs Lesbian Marriage - Men come together and become close when there is an external threat such as school bully, abusive parents, creatures in the forest that will eat you, or in a foxhole with the enemy dropping mortars on you. Gay men know "nobody gives a f**k about them' and will live together because that external hate drives them closer together. Women do not receive that level of animosity from their community and have less drive to be together as a couple long term. Women also require more attention than men, or more emotional needs. If you have a marriage where both partners have emotional needs then neither can fulfill the other without becoming emotionally drained themselves. This gets worse as women get older and change into menopause: they no longer receive validation from outside and try to get attention in other ways. At middle age Gay men are more experienced and should be more financially stable, meaning they are capable of being providers and through that gain validation.

crunchthenumbers01 · 2024-05-29T14:59:36+00:00

One told me cause it was always the "man" in the relationship's fault. Not sure how to process that.

hottake_toothache · 2024-05-29T16:59:39+00:00

Men are said to be the problem because women freak out if any blame goes their direction. Men don't get as upset, and, to the extent they do, nobody cares about men's feelings, anyway.

AIGirlfriendChad · 2024-05-29T19:05:53+00:00

probably still men's fault. let's be honest. we're going to get the blame no matter what

Proper_Frosting_6693 · 2024-05-29T08:46:58+00:00

They’re not the problem! Women are!

Terminal-Psychosis · 2024-05-29T16:19:00+00:00

Women instigate the majority of domestic violence, verbal, emotional or physical. And more than is reported, because men know their abuse by a woman won't be taken seriously. Or the man will actually be ridiculed.

There are barely any domestic abuse hotlines that will take a man seriously. Mostly he'll be blamed for whatever is going on. So the cases that ARE reported, are a indication of a much huger problem.

Men start fights for sure, but not anywhere near as much as women do.

So, it makes sense that two women together are going to fight more. Also, Lesbian / Bi women tend to move in together faster than most other demographics. Jokes in the community about first date being in a U-Haul truck. It isn't even denied.

Extreme_Spread9636 · 2024-05-29T07:42:34+00:00

It seems that regardless of whether women would date a man or a woman, the leading part seems to be always intrinsic to the other party. Leading is not fun, because you are the first initiator of everything. On the other hand, women have no problem iniating divorce. It seems odd that these gender roles are still expected, despite that the other gender is not that specific gender.

NeoNotNeo · 2024-05-29T14:56:59+00:00

It’s the Patriarchy!

Cotehill · 2024-05-29T16:51:27+00:00

Women define “violence” and “abuse” as someone saying No. Or I no longer love you.

They also destroy peoples reputations and use their tongue viciously, focusing on putting people down instead of being logical or rational.

Women are also prone to physical violence regularly and expect that the other person will not respond in kind. As soon as they do, they call the police and get a restraining order in order to play the victim when they are the perpetrator.

This is why women are usually always the instigator of divorces and splitting up, and they then go straight to social media and others to get the message out first that they are the real victim. When it’s usually untrue.

But … both patriarchy and matriarchy demands men are to blame. But they can’t in relation to lesbian relationships - so instead the authorities cancel YouTube content creators, demonetise them if they highlight these facts, and employers sack you, and police don’t believe you, and courts convict innocent people.

Just stay away from women as much as possible. They may be lovely to look at and they may be fun if you get past the Rottweiler-face stage, but keep yourself safe by recording absolute consent, have home CCTV and audio recordings, and never cohabitate or marry.

Be prepared to become a dad without your consent, baby-trapped. You will pay through the nose and please be a responsible dad (kids need fathers!) but there is zero need to stay with her.

Similar-Mixture-351 · 2024-05-29T17:01:08+00:00

Women blame men since they seem to implode if they have to take accountability for their bs. With two women, I can’t imagine that dynamic working out well.

Few-Patient38 · 2024-05-29T17:55:58+00:00

It's because drama.

Rock_Granite · 2024-05-29T22:06:37+00:00

In my view, same-sex couples were only invited to the marriage malarkey because it was a failing institution, with divorce rates rising among heterosexual couples. Marriage was marketed to same-sex couples as a way of ensuring that we were tamed out of our semi-feral existence of ‘living over the brush’ and having too much fun and freedom.

She's out of her goddammed mind. Lesbians and Gays bitched and moaned over and over that they were discriminated against because they could not marry. Nobody "marketed" marriage to them. They demanded it.

Angryasfk · 2024-05-29T23:35:41+00:00

Ah Julie Bindel. Yep you’re really going to get an in depth analysis from her: never going to be self serving, dishonest garbage.

Captainsignificance · 2024-05-30T03:19:52+00:00

Lesbian divorce rates are the highest (75%) - and homosexual men have the lowest divorce rates at 25%. Heterosexual couples have an average divorce rate of 50%. So the fewer women in a marriage the more successful it is. And what’s very interesting is that the reasons lesbians give for their divorces are identical to the ones women give in their divorces from men such as their partners are emotionally unavailable etc.

Ill_Connection1631 · 2024-05-29T18:58:16+00:00

Sounds like it’s time for men to turn gay since gay marriages work out so well.

jagodicabobica3 · 2024-10-12T18:39:17+00:00

Don’t know how I found this post but I am a lesbian and can give you unique perspective! It has nothing to do with patriarchy or men or whatever but it’s just simple statistics! Lesbians are minority in minority, seriously there is so few of us. This results in women who have zero experience in romantic relationships, suffer chronic loneliness and lack interpersonal skills for relationships. Once we meet someone who like us, since it’s so rare, we tend to overomanticize them and overlook dealbreakers just not to be lonely. I think you can see why it’s receipt for disaster!

Sea_Treat7982 · 2024-05-29T23:09:03+00:00

Ok, we're the problem. Go live problem-free without us. We'll just have to somehow get over it.

crc8983 · 2024-05-30T03:20:14+00:00

Cray, cray

Helpful_Sector5733 · 2024-05-31T01:20:44+00:00

As a gay man, I can tell you from my experience the reason my marriage is successful is because I took my time and didn't settle. I'd be with a guy for a few months and once I realized that we were never going to make it long term I'd end it. I also learned to accept myself and not be ashamed of what I really wanted in a partner - a conservative young man who wanted to stay home and be a house wife and had a strong libido.

It took a while but I finally found the right one. We still have minor issues every now and then (ironically the last one is that I can't keep up with his libido) but we always talk them through. We're both very open and honest with our true feelings. If I prepare a meal and he doesn't care for it - he tells me and vice versa. I've been working long hours these past few months and started gaining weight so he put me on a diet - his exact words were 'I'll take making salads for dinner for a while'. Together since 2019 and I still love him so much!

I know a lot of great lesbians but I notice their relationships are almost always about manipulation and power struggles. They bring up minor shit that happened 5 years ago. Women in general just don't get along from what I've noticed, they're backstabby, and conniving. They really have difficulty controlling their emotions. I feel sorry for straight men to be honest.

Aswol · 2024-05-29T08:25:20+00:00

They will probably blame ThE PaTrIaRcHy!!!44!! My problem with this reasoning is that everything that is slightly inconvinient for them is blamed on the patriarchy. Which is pretty loosly defined as well. I looked up defintions and its pretty basic, loosely defined imo. Im not denying the existence of it. Throughout most of our history family and politics were mostly ( there are exceptions of course) men had the leading role. But the way feminism using this concept resembles way too much to the other historical concepts used by communism and other ideologies. This whole thing reeks from ideology and radicalism. History is like a pendulum. Always swings back and forth. Since it seems to be on their side, they need a justification why are they agressive towards males. Lets face it, nowdays its okay to trash and demonize males. Its always easier to find a target that everyone can collectively attack. Especially if you are a hetero, cis white male. Then you are the cause of all the worlds pain and suffering.

But reality is often much much more complex and complicated. And neither side, nor society as a whole is innocent. They are just good at using the victim card. What is really telling for me is that they are not fighting for the rights of women where they really need it. For example in some third world countries where the circumcision of women still practiced, or middle east countries where women cant learn, drive, or step out into the streets without their husband or father... no they fight for positions in power in companies and politics. Even in this lesbian marriage example... instead of looking into themselves like everyone should and go the therapy and couples counceling theyare most likely just blame it on patriarchy and lets roll on.

Aswol · 2024-05-29T08:46:08+00:00

My favourite is the bi woman who says that after a few dates with women, now she understand men.

uiualover · 2024-05-29T10:47:27+00:00

Women know that they cause more drama in relationships than men. That's why they have to invent all this fake stuff like toxic masculinity to bash men over the head with constantly, to deflect.

baby_philosophies · 2025-05-13T19:47:43+00:00

This talking point for lesbian marriages having higher divorce rates is a far right wing talking point with no scientific or statistical backing.

TheDuellist100 · 2024-05-29T15:12:44+00:00

Lesbianism is a phase. That's all it ever will be.

bluehorserunning · 2024-05-29T16:57:55+00:00

If women are really the ones so demanding of physical perfection, why are gay men always perfectly groomed and in the gym every day, and gay women always in cargo shorts, ratty tshirts, and with short hair and no makeup?

DavidZayas · 2024-05-29T16:50:01+00:00

Lesbian marriages fare even worse than gay marriages

Fyi lesbian marriages are gay marriages.

Title	If Men Really Are the Problem in Relationships Then Why is the Lesbian Divorce Rate So High?
Author	Brw_ser
Upvotes	747
Comments	140
Date	May 29, 2024 3:59 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1d337wg/if_men_really_are_the_problem_in_relationships/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/if-men-really-are-the-problem-in-relationships.1519893 https://theredarchive.com/post/1519893

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