This was on trp today: https://archive.today/I7vDo

The woman explains why the catcalling video resonated with her. Her description is vivid and emotional. It's easy to understand and empathize with her frustration.

I can empathize, because I can analogize it to experiences I get when walking through poor communities, in the US and in considerably poorer countries.

Homeless people asking for money, all the time. They recognize me as a "high value man" (just like some guys just happen to pay extra attention to "high value women"). Most of the time I just dress more poorly than I have to to blend in to local environments, but it's usually hard to hide the fact that I am a foreigner, depending on which country. Even in the US, I can't always dress casually. Sometimes, I have a date or a business arrangement.

Just like that woman, I hear a lot of friendly talk, but it usually comes down to the bottom line. They're going to ask for money. If I don't have change on me, I usually get called an asshole or even threatened, depending on the environment.

Pretty much everything she mentioned on her thread, I could relate to in some way. Even this part:

Maybe your old middle school crush really is just trying to say hi, but you've been through this before and you know the odds are on the fact that she wants something from you. This is now the way you look at most people. It wears you down. You don't understand why people can't respect your right to just be left alone, and why you can't find a space that is free from all the asks.

I come from a poor background, so of course, I have people in my extended family as well as old friends calling often, saying hi... but the odds are they want something from me because they know I and the rest of my nuclear family have somehow climbed out of the pit they are still stuck in.

I understand her position. Her empathy and patience has been burdened over the years. I know hundreds of people, literally hundreds, for whom I could say the same for. People who've had their good will taken advantage of. I've seen people, crippled, emaciated, actually crawling on dirt roads, begging, only to be told by my local companions, "Trust me, he's a contortionist. He's trying to fool you and take advantage of your sympathy." They've lived in those neighbourhoods/cities/countries longer than I, so maybe they knew better. But maybe they're just even more cynical than myself. I still express the sympathy and end up giving some dollars. (I have enough anyway, and if the guy is "acting", well he must be pretty desperate to put on an act involving dragging himself across dirty, rocky roads.)

That woman is psychologically limited in how many shits she can give. I am both psychologically limited in how many shits I can give and also physically limited by how much change I can carry.

So I can say that I understand her position and frustrations, but I'd compare them to the concerns of a wealthy man who chose to walk through a poor neighbourhood and then was accosted by those less fortunate who offended his sensibilities some way or another.

I'd like to hear what you think about the concerns over catcalling (or just plain friendly greetings). Maybe even a discussion on the homeless as well. How can we teach these homeless people not to beg? It's very inconvenient and threatening to a lot of people. It's such a burden on my empathy, and I don't like being called an asshole.