Blue Pill: How does a man go about creating a potential relationship out of thin air?

BoogerBunny · 2015-10-08T23:37:19+00:00

No, its not nefarious to want a girlfriend or fwb or even a casual fling. He can go about doing this by trying to meet more people in general. Online dating can and does work, but it also traps people into a mode of dwelling on their single-dom. Sometimes it is just better to get out of the house and attempt to do other things, both to give your mind a break from dwelling and to expand your horizons. Plus, it gives you more interesting thing to talk about, saying you went to a a coffee shop and played backgammon with random person is definitely more interesting than "I sat alone and trolled okcupid, plentyoffish and tinder until I went to bed dejected." Take some classes, gym it up, work on self-improvement, play music with other people, get a dog to take for walks. (Actually did a project for a puppy rental service, and we marketed it as a way to meet women.) He might have to be realistic about his prospects, both in terms of his personality and looks, and what's available in his current area.

I don't think its unreasonable for him to be upset or sad about his loneliness and feelings of rejection; I don't think invalidating someone's feelings makes much sense anyways. I do think its unreasonable to treat women in a harsh or cruel manner just because you resent them for being unavailable. You have to keep perspective that there's billions of people on the planet but it takes time and effort to meet someone compatible. And just because someone isn't interested in you personally, it isn't an insult to you, it is just their preference. I think Dita Von Teese said it best when she said "You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” Additionally, you'll find plenty of people who aren't interested in dating right now, or who are full of other things, especially bullshit.

dakru · 2015-10-08T02:39:38+00:00

Moderator note: this thread is tagged as a question for the blues, which means that top-level comments can't come from reds (for example, speculating about how someone from the blue side might give advice, or preemptively criticizing their advice). Reds are free to contribute to the discussion by replying to top-level comments. These same rules apply in reverse for threads tagged as a question for the reds.

nermalsweater · 2015-10-08T04:20:15+00:00

No it's not predatory or nefarious. I've found the best way to go about it is to meet through mutual friends, having female friends helps quite a bit. No it's not unreasonable to be upset at rejection, it is unreasonable to be upset at women in general because one that you found attractive did not reciprocate.

bromance946 · 2015-10-08T04:12:59+00:00

Rejection sucks. It's OK to feel hurt over rejection.

Really there is no blanket piece of advice I have for this guy since I don't know anything about him. I guess my main piece of advice would be to have realistic standards. In all honesty don't go for women who are more attractive than you and have lots of higher SMV options. Abandon those women and start dating women on your level. I notice a lot of men end up single because they are under the delusion that they can score a HB6 or more and that's all they are open to. This seems to be a common problem.

[deleted] · 2015-10-08T08:38:31+00:00

It's not a predatory goal.

Optionally try to max out attractiveness, at least wear clothes that fit, be clean and a flattering haircut.

Ideally you will already have a pool of 'candidates', women you already know who you could potentially date. These should be your first port of call. You can also ask them if the have any single friends.

Approach women in suitable situations, not randomly when they are walking down the street. Strike up conversation in queues, groups etc.

If you want to try online dating paid sites tend to be better because people are more invested in actually getting a relationship. For photos, take good quality ones, not in the bathroom, in neutral lighting. At minimum you want your face, your entire body (not naked), one with other people (shows you have friends) and one with you doing something (showing an interest).

Fill out every field and don't put in negatives such as disliking your job. Aim to send about 5 messages a day (to different women to start) and try to highlight that you've read their profile in the first one. Instead of 'Hi beautiful' aim to include something about you both liking x etc.

It's not unreasonable to get upset, but some guys seem to get upset and they've only been focusing on two women, o it's not like the whole world has rejected them. Just don't take it out on the people who've rejected you, there isn't an obligation, it's just something that kind of sucks.

downunderit · 2015-10-08T06:32:30+00:00

Is this a predatory or nefarious goal for this man to have?

No its a natural human emotion

What are ways he can go about doing this?

Take up a hobby... I don't know what, something you like or are fairly good at. Take up several outgoing hobbys. Meet people at the hobby. Go to social events whatever with people from those hobbys.

If you see a cute girl in your hobby flirt with her day one. If she responds ask her out by the second day. If she says no or is taken move on.

rinse repeat.

Also make yourself look as pretty as possible. Lose weight, dress nice have a shower once in a while.

Is it unreasonable for him to be upset if he is confronted with rejection?

No. It is unreasonable to take it out on the person who rejected you. Its not their fault they don't find you attractive.

scrantonic1ty · 2015-10-08T03:13:48+00:00

Go to person. Talk to person. The end.

Well, that is just a start, but yea, start with that. If you can't even do that, I don't know how you could survive past 5.

andrewisgood · 2015-10-08T02:45:58+00:00

So, if you just randomly out of no where go up to someone and be like, hey wanna be my girlfriend, you're likely going to get rejected simply because one, you're interrupting someone's day, and two, she may think you're a stalker because no one really goes up and asks those types of questions. So, the answer is, they don't.

I've always felt that the ball is in the court of women in regards to the dating scene, and that could be due to social constructs, but, that's the way it is madam. However, the negative is they have to deal with more harassment, dick pics, and random guys trying to create relationships out of thin air with them.

GoldPilot · 2015-10-08T12:50:58+00:00

Get your life together, and become happy with yourself.
Put yourself out there. Mingle, make friends, grow your circle, get to know people.
When you feel comfortable around someone and they seem to like you, ask them out. If you fail, don't be a bitter dick or you'll lose a friend and gain a bad reputation.
If you reach the end of the road without finding anyone, at least you built meaningful relationships and had a decent life.

merrehgern · 2015-10-08T05:34:44+00:00

I think it's important not to meet every woman with solely the motivation to date her. You are setting yourself up for disappointment. Often when people become infatuated with other someone, they read their every word and gesture and look for signs of affection that may not even be there. I certainly did that a lot. Also rejection feels terrible, but if someone is not attracted to you there is nothing you can do so getting angry with them is pointless.

Meet women with the expectation of making cool new friends. A romantic relationship may or may not happen, but at least you will be more confident with women. We're not so different to you! I hope this is somewhat helpful.

chameleone · 2015-10-08T03:07:43+00:00

I think sometimes people underestimate the power of regular conversation when it comes to dating. You want a relationship? Talk! Respectfully compliment her – in an appropriate setting, when she doesn't seem busy – and if she's open to it, swap numbers. See if there's any common interests. Plan a date and see if it goes anywhere. You don't have to act like some stoic macho man, just be genuine and be friendly.

If it doesn't work out, no, it's not unreasonable to be upset, as long as you don't turn violent or anything – just try to distance yourself from her and find someone else.

BeyondTheLight · 2015-10-08T03:38:37+00:00

Talk to her. Ask her out. If she rejects you, yeah you can be upset...but don't go cray-cray like #byefelipe

Yonderlander · 2015-10-08T14:27:19+00:00

1- Of course not, why on earth would you ask that? 2- Dating websites, chatting to people, being a good guy who people would set their friends up with. 3- Being upset, ie a feeling, is OK.

What is the agenda behind these very easy questions? Have you got the impression somewhere that Bloops are against you finding a girlfriend and being upset when it is hard to find one?

LiftWellKitty · 2015-10-08T04:28:29+00:00

Is this a predatory or nefarious goal for this man to have?

Of course not. This is a pretty normal pursuit for males, and it isn't inherently wrong. It may be wrong in individual cases where a girl or disabled individual is unable to give informed consent to a relationship, or where a woman doesn't wish to be romantically pursued. Finding out if it's the latter in an ethical way is a matter of asking her.

Do you feel that it's predatory or nefarious for a woman to pursue a relationship with a man?

What are ways he can go about doing this?

The simplest answer is by finding someone who he enjoys the company of in some way, who shares his desire for a relationship, finding out if they're suitable for each other (which he and the woman will have to decide as individuals whether they want a relationship with the other), and finding out if they have common goals for the relationship. The best way to achieve this goal is by getting to know each other better and sharing feelings over a period of time which could consist of friendship or going on formal dates for the purpose of finding a mate, or a mixture of both.

The ways that someone goes about a particular relationship may be as varied as all the potential mates are. I can give you examples from my life, or from other people's lives, or make up cases that seem reasonable or likely, but there is no one way to do it that's going to be one-size-fits-all.

Where you meet someone can often say something about the type of individual that you meet there and how amenable they are to forming a new relationship, so keep that in mind.

Is it unreasonable for him to be upset if he is confronted with rejection?

No, it's perfectly understandable. Rejection hurts. It can hurt on a physical level and take a while to heal. What is unreasonable is refusing to move on, or blaming someone else for how they feel. Are you able to control your attraction to any particular individual? It's very difficult.

Hope that's helpful and feel free to ask follow-up questions, although having been in one serious relationship myself doesn't make me much of an expert at what will work for others (again, there's too much variety).

midnightvulpine · 2015-10-08T10:30:48+00:00

How anyone 'creates' a relationship. Meet people. It's t nefarious to want to find someone to spend your life with. The goal isn't the issue, the pathway one takes to get their is what speaks. As to being upset, it's natural to be upset about rejection. Again, the issue comes with how you react to this.

No one(except on the edge radical feminists, perhaps) are against guys looking for relationships and sex. The issue with any goal in life is how you go about achieving it and how you react to not getting things going your way.

taiboworks · 2015-10-08T03:38:20+00:00

Is this a predatory or nefarious goal for this man to have?

no, but his behavior to achieve that goal could be. socially cluelessly bothering disinterested women doesn't help him achieve his goal (benefit him) or benefit others.

What are ways he can go about doing this?

pursue women that show interest.

Is it unreasonable for him to be upset if he is confronted with rejection?

it's unreasonable to burden others with that, since women are allowed to reject, not like him. it's probably not healthy for him to get upset about it either to himself, because it's perfectly normal for someone to not like you.

vinegarbubblegum · 2015-10-08T11:19:15+00:00

OK, you are going to have a hard time dating humans if you are not one.

They way you look at how human relationships work leads to me believe you are a fellow alien - Grunx-nax, to you - and you have much to learn about these... humans.

First, they think having a relationship is normal, so no, not a predatory or nefarious thing to do. But, weirdly enough, humans consider certain behaviour in trying to get a relationship predatory. Read anything on The Red Pill for examples of predatory behaviour.

Second: Talk to the human. Look the human in the eye - they like this. Remember their names and interests, what place of the planet they are from, and try to find out some of the local flora and fauna of that area to discuss with them, as they will believe you find them interesting because of this. Don't talk about yourself - or especially your homeworld. Humans are a very vocal species, so try not to go for prolonged periods of silence where you just stare at them, this is considered predatory.

Is it unreasonable for him to be upset if he is confronted with rejection?

Some humans simply cannot handle rejection (most humans look down on these types as faulty or broken; again, read Red Pill); if you want to be a good human (or at least appear to be), learn to how to handle rejection with a smile, even if you face rejection a lot.

Remember, we outlive humans by several millennia, so there will always be more of them to practice on.

Grunx-nax, to you!

Title	Blue Pill: How does a man go about creating a potential relationship out of thin air?
Author	Lite-brite
Upvotes	12
Comments	147
Date	October 8, 2015 2:33 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3nx7wh/blue_pill_how_does_a_man_go_about_creating_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/blue-pill-how-does-a-man-go-about-creating-a.279199 https://theredarchive.com/post/279199

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