Do You Like Being Hit On at Work?

HottentotGenius · 2019-07-16T18:30:06+00:00

If it's well calibrated flirting then yes, it's fun and effortless

If it's tone deaf and awkward it puts me in a position where I have to smooth over his faux pas and steer the interaction forward, which is more work for me on top of the work I'm already doing and yea that's irritating

QueenCousland86 · 2019-07-16T18:41:13+00:00

There's a social contract that means in my workplace, I have to be nice to you, which means I can't tell you off if you're being obnoxious. That being said, I'm a salesperson, and it's my job to part you from as much of your money as I can. So if you walk into my place like king shit of turd mountain, thinking you're slick, you'd best believe you're walking out with significantly less money than anticipated and a bunch of shit you don't need, and no phone number.

Texastentialism · 2019-07-16T18:51:28+00:00

I didn't mind it when I was working retail and food service. I enjoyed any kind of positive customer interaction, and sometimes that takes the form of flirting. It adds some fun to your day at a shitty job.

The only time it annoyed me is when a guy would talk to me for too long when I needed to get away from his table and do my job. Making a few flirty comments while I'm refilling your drinks or whatever is fine; trying to chat me up for five minutes when I have other customers to attend to, or calling me over to your table just to flirt when I'm clearly very busy, is not.

PortEmerald · 2019-07-16T19:19:54+00:00

If it’s not pushy, it’s natural, and there’s a clear respect for my choice to say yes or no, just fun respectful interest, and if I don’t like you, you leave me alone? Probably tolerable, but definitely better if I like you back. That’s your risk.

If it’s in any way refusing to take no and clearly exploiting that I’m on the job, can’t leave, and have to be professional to you, that’s uncool.

It helps to have social skills.

[deleted] · 2019-07-16T18:43:13+00:00

I have been married for close to 20 years to a guy I met at work. Obviously I think it's okay to flirt at work, as long as it is done in an appropriate manner. To this very day, when I visit military installations for work, guys flirt with me. Both of us know that it won't go anywhere, but it's fun and adds a little levity to the day.

PaintingOfJoan · 2019-07-16T18:24:39+00:00

When I worked in college doing retail it’s shit ‘cause you’re forced to be nice to everyone even if they’re gross so they think you’re okay with it, I’d rather just be left alone to do my job.

Murdocs_Mistress · 2019-07-16T18:43:16+00:00

I'm old so maybe my opinion doesn't count but unless you're on a break, flirting or hitting on folks is inappropriate in the workplace.

xayawarriorprincess · 2019-07-16T19:56:35+00:00

I personally think it's inappropriate. I know some women disagree with me and that's fine.

It's probably less inappropriate in casual jobs like retail and waitressing, but I personally loathed it when guys hit on me while I was a hostess. Now that I'm in a more corporate culture, I'm able to be a lot more blunt with rejection than as a hostess.

Most guys are normal and will stop if you don't return the interest, but then you get guys who will not read cues and keep on flirting and keep on talking. Or spend all night at the hostess counter, where I'm obligated to talk to them for as long as they stand there.

I think a lot of men have problems reading body language and social cues. They only understand a direct "leave me alone" - which I couldn't say as a hostess, and which most women in similar jobs can't say either.

So basically... I'd recommend not doing it. Women at work will most often be a bit uncomfortable if you hit on them. If you decide to do it anyway, please be adept at reading body language and social cues and back off if she seems uncomfortable.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-07-16T20:50:17+00:00

I don't mind being hit on at work IF he can take a rejection well. "I'm flattered, but I have a boyfriend." "That's cool, my bad." And we move on. No harm, no foul. And it IS flattering.

As opposed to "I'm flattered, but I have a boyfriend." And he keeps hitting on me. Or starts treating me with hostility. Or threatens my job. Etc.

_Tumbleweed- · 2019-07-16T18:48:56+00:00

I don't mind, I flirt back usually. I prefer it when the men flirting with me are 45+ though because he and I both know that there's no chance in hell of anything happening. Just a bit of harmless fun.

It's really fun to flirt with men 60+ when you're a beautiful girl in your 20s, because they aren't sexually interested in you - they just appreciate your beauty and charm for what it is.

I was a waitress from the age of 14 for 9 years, and I got hit on every day then. Comes with the territory.

SkookumTree · 2019-07-16T19:38:20+00:00

Never been hit on at work; never want to be, either. I don't like the idea of mixing work and romance or flirting.

skystar86 · 2019-07-16T20:03:41+00:00

If it's not blatantly sexual I don't mind. If it is then it's inappropriate.

passepar2t · 2019-07-16T20:12:56+00:00

How many times do we have to go over this? People like being hit on at work if they find the person attractive and not if not. This is the only answer.

verticordia · 2019-07-16T20:40:09+00:00

I like attention and compliments more than the average woman does, so I don't mind at all. Even if it's creepy, it's still validation. As long as it's not "if i were 40 years younger I'd fuck you behind the dumpster".

Ofourkind · 2019-07-16T23:10:44+00:00

I bartended for ages. If it's fun flirting with no expectations, that's usually fine. If you're just sitting at my bar acting like we're on a date and vying for all my attention, then no. I'm busy.

I flirt at work for fun and money. Never dates.

WestsideMoonWalker · 2019-07-16T18:30:21+00:00

Never. The jobs I've done, and want to do more of all involve looking at large complex sets of data. The less time around people, the happier I am.

Barneysparky · 2019-07-16T18:44:23+00:00

Working in the food industry you must have seen co-workers dating ect, it goes with the territory.

Not so much with "adult" jobs. Having said that meeting your spouse at work is one of the top ways to meet. When it happens it's not the guy who hit on all the women in the office, but because a work friendship grew into something else. How about just getting to know your co-workers in general, doing stuff after work in groups ect.

crackrocksteady7 · 2019-07-16T18:57:13+00:00

It's nice for an ego boost but I'm not looking to date at work and have another crazy ex obsessed with me and creeping on my shit

Mr_Smoogs · 2019-07-16T19:05:01+00:00

I feel like any interaction between men and women (outside family) carries flirtatious undertones.

rpsheepdog · 2019-07-16T19:18:52+00:00

never a shortage of drunk and /or old women that would say all types of aggressively flirtatious left field shit. I would just take it as a compliment even if I wasnt attracted to them.

I work in Law enforcement, and this shit happens all the time. I take it as a compliment, play the game a little to stay sharp (granted its like shooting fish in a barrel) but have fun.

That being said, I keep it out of the office, granted I don't work with any potentials, don't shit where you eat.

diffdedbed · 2019-07-16T19:44:10+00:00

As a 20 something hell ya. Sadly I was oblivious to the subtle nature of some womens hitting on me at the time. There were a couple, one I remember well wore a fake wedding ring to avoid being hit on, made a point to tell me it was fake, took it off while telling me while we were having lunch, and I just let that slide.

That being said I did hit on women and dated a few at work.

Now, hell no. They know I'm married, have kids, etc, and while I have been, it was kinda awkward, even when one was a very attractive woman.

lilacluna548 · 2019-07-17T00:59:12+00:00

Ive never had a job (outside of volunteer work) but I dont think that it would bother me. I met my boyfriend at school and Im incredibly lucky to have met him. If Id have been working and met him there than I wouldnt have wanted that opportunity to have been passed up just because of the circumstances, you know?

[deleted] · 2019-07-17T11:53:51+00:00

If it ever happened to me, I’d absolutely love it.

Maybelowsmv · 2019-07-17T11:59:15+00:00

i like it if he isnt old or very unattractive

[deleted] · 2019-07-16T18:53:50+00:00

As a dude yes and no. It’s awesome being one of the big dogs in the building, absolute ego stroke. I also don’t look or need relationships at work so it’s all in good fun, especially at happy hours when alcohol is flowing

That said some girls can’t take a hint and it’s awkward. A ton of women think that if a guy isn’t asking them out it’s because they aren’t dropping enough hints. We aren’t that dense, we just don’t want to ask you out for whatever reason (could be anything! Don’t take it personally. Not always about looks)

So I can definitely see it being annoying if you’re a woman where you’re more likely to get it more. One good thing about being the guy is the implicit knowledge of being physically safe. If you’re a woman and a guy twice your size makes you uncomfortable in the office during a late night you might feel in danger. If you’re a guy and reverse the scenario you know if push comes to shove you’re fine.

It rarely if ever will amount to the above situation but the underlying knowledge definitely plays a factor

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wtknight · 2019-07-16T20:24:44+00:00

When I was single I would have loved it unless it was excessive. Now, I’d prefer not to be hit on since I’m happily married.

headchefboyardee · 2019-07-16T21:48:01+00:00

If women can hit on us in our workplace, why shouldn't we be able to return the favor?

HR departments are primarily staffed by normie white women who represent corporate interests over finding the truth of what happens in a work discrepancy. Any disagreement as to what's considered flirting, tie goes to the woman, especially in 2019. I don't wear a seat belt because I'm convinced I'm going to crash my car every-time I leave the house, I wear it because I might crash.

shoup88 · 2019-07-16T21:48:20+00:00

No. Banter is fine, but I’m never going to go out with a customer or client so I’d prefer flirting never get to that point.

If women can hit on us in our workplace, why shouldn't we be able to return the favor?

You can. You just can’t make them like it.

kandyapplez · 2019-07-16T22:43:23+00:00

i don't mind compliments (assuming you mean customer facing jobs and being hit on by customers and not like, coworkers at my office job). granted i was a career cocktail waitress for most of my 20s lol so it was part of the job. but being complimented is different from being hit on and i really hate that. i'm working dude, buzz off.

i think your point about it being drunk/old people doing this kinda stuff often is what makes it nbd. old people, ugly people, "culturally different" (ahem) people generally know that absolutely nothing is going to happen here. i fucking hated young white finance bros hitting on me at work because they were serious about it and thought there was an actual chance

poppy_blu · 2019-07-16T23:51:19+00:00

I've never seen this be a issue IRL. I flirt with girls ALL THE TIME while they're at work.

Hope your resume is up to date.

/s

Most SH polices are concerned with:

reporting relationships/power differentials
conflicts of interest
repeatedly asking someone out when they’ve told you no
creating an environment that makes employees uncomfortable and therefore less productive.

They’re generally not concerned with two people discreetly carrying on a relationship providing none of the above apply.

There are some companies that have no fraternization at all rules. Probably born of a past lawsuit.

For me, I avoid it. It’s not worth the potential fallout.

brokegradstudent_93 · 2019-07-17T18:06:17+00:00

I am fine with light flirting erring on the side of just being extra friendly or slight teasing. When I worked in food service getting hit on by customers was constant and I had some customers who would try to touch me which was awful but I had some customers who would joke around with me and it was all in good fun. Flirting from my coworkers was kind of the same. I had some that were bad experiences like a coworker grabbing my hips and calling me thick and the time a coworker tried to rub my shoulders while I was sweeping. I’ve had coworkers who would flirt and have inside jokes with and it was fine.

Triadfamilyties · 2019-07-17T22:17:38+00:00

As a guy fuck no I do not. I HATE workplace drama and I do not date/fuck anyone I work with. I go to earn money and go home, that's it. My life is not at work, it is at home. Customers/clients/whatever don't tend to ever hit on me it's only co-workers who are around me more than a few minutes so that's where my focus goes.

[deleted] · 2019-07-18T15:41:54+00:00

Kind of, but it also makes me uncomfortable because my honor prevents me from cheating even though I would like to. So it forces me to process my own internal dissonance. But ultimately, it doesn't bother me that much one way or another. The world will not come crashing down because some drunk divorcee tried to kiss me in an inappropriate setting.

[deleted] · 2019-07-18T16:33:41+00:00

I personally love when it happens to me even more now, especially since I'm afraid I'm post wall at 34 now.

OP, I think you're fine with doing it bro, especially since you're still young around 25 and nowhere near old enough to be these girls dad or something.

I think common sense applies, like as long as you're not being outwardly creepy (which you're not) you're good. Guys over 30 will be quicker to be seen as creepy though

NaturalQueer · 2019-07-24T07:40:36+00:00

No never, I am there to work. I just wanna get my pay check and go home. It made my skin crawl when this has happened to me.

HottentotGenius · 2019-07-16T18:31:05+00:00

If women can hit on us in our workplace, why shouldn't we be able to return the favor?

Because returning the favor is tantamount to rape and/or murder if the guy does it*

*Not all women, but all it takes is one to...well, to what, to embarrass the guy? Tell her friends what a creep he is?

In a sense men are able to return the favor.

ChadThundagaCock · 2019-07-16T18:50:21+00:00

In relation to this topic I feel regret for not telling the cute checkout girl at Rue 21 to put her number on my receipt. She gave me an opening andnI didn't even try. Stupid fucking SJW anti-approaching conditioning.

ohheyhi99 · 2019-07-16T18:56:38+00:00

I’ve done it and I’ve had it done to me. It depends on the approach and personal sensibilities.

I think most people are OK with it if the person is attractive enough and there’s not too much baggage. I’ve heard some female coworkers talk about who they think is attractive with me in earshot, but I never do that around female coworkers, even respectfully, because it could bite me in the ass.

If the approach is respectful, some men and women don’t mind being respectfully hit on even if the person isn’t attractive to them. Some people will get offended, and those people are more likely to be female.

Most people would get somewhat offended by a disrespectful approach, but women would likely be more offended (I’m not saying that being offended is wrong here).

ScootsScoots · 2019-07-18T11:39:37+00:00

Dont bother girls while they are working unless they very obviously bother you first.

wotsittoyou · 2019-07-17T06:51:47+00:00

If I see a hot girl working the drive thru I have no problem with going for her number.

You see that fucking headset she's wearing? A lotta places the burger room can hear everything both you say through their headsets. I've worked a McJob. Do not, I repeat, do not flirt with the female counter crew unless you enjoy your burgers with a big gob of spit in them. I am not kidding, this is how it works. You flirt with that girl and if it upsets the burger room there is a fair chance it upsets them while they are preparing your food or are easily able to access your food. And there are so many many ways the guys in the burger room can become upset.

Also if you are an employee and flirt with another employee it will always be at the risk of your status in the workplace. If it turns out bad for you ain't nobody gonna have the slightest sympathy.

Title	Do You Like Being Hit On at Work?
Author	HottentotGenius
Upvotes	2
Comments	100
Date	July 16, 2019 6:21 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ce0vl9/do_you_like_being_hit_on_at_work/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-like-being-hit-on-at-work.254882 https://theredarchive.com/post/254882

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