Do You Mentally Group Men

pngmafia97 · 2019-07-26T16:41:47+00:00

i find alpha and beta useful traits to be aware of but i don’t believe any person is unilaterally alpha or beta. people are multifaceted, especially as i get to know a man better, i uncover strengths and weaknesses and insecurities and virtues that i wasn’t aware of before. an alpha acquaintance might very well have some very beta traits once you get to know him. the “alpha” and the “beta” are just caricatures in a theoretical model. there are situational alphas and betas but it does not define a person as a whole. it cannot.

SpinachIsYummy · 2019-07-26T17:19:31+00:00

I have four groups.

Avoid at all costs (creeps, violent, etc.)
Don't like but can tolerate.
Like but will not date.
Would be willing to date. So far all the men in this category are gay.

SpookyQueenofCats · 2019-07-26T23:54:55+00:00

I don't really categorise men as Alpha or Beta since to be a fully well rounded human you need both elements. Someone who is all Alpha would be a total douche and someone who is all beta would be a total wet towel and push over.

I categorise men by secure vs insecure. Goal driven and ambitious Vs lazy and complacent. Smart Vs dumb. And so on. It's more of a collection of traits that build up to a whole person.

The reason I don't use Alpha and Beta too is that is situational for me. A man can be an Alpha in a field/profession but be beta in something or in a situation that has nothing to do with his work. Some men can be Beta in a friendship group but be Alpha in their relationship. It's not a one label thing.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-07-26T17:12:14+00:00

I don't see people as "alpha" or "beta." I see them as "could be one of my people" or "definitely not one of my people." For men that I would look at to date, it's "could be one of my people and is (or isn't) attractive to me" or "definitely not one of my people, is (or isn't) attractive to me."

goatismycopilot · 2019-07-26T17:06:05+00:00

Sure but not into the Alpha/Beta categories they are meaningless to me. Most women do not systemize like that. It is more yellow/red/green for attraction or interest and they move in and out of those catagories. Most are yellow then they open their mouths and usually end up in red.

[deleted] · 2019-07-26T16:59:12+00:00

Yes I group everyone, mainly by whether I admire them, ie do they have traits I value or respect

If the answer is no there is a 0% chance of finding them attractive

slavicgypsygirl · 2019-07-26T17:54:24+00:00

Irdk anything about pill categories & come here bc I like men, dating & sex

Mentally I do group guys irl but its always in sections of my own design

They are: My type. Not my type. My type but breaks my dating & sex rules

Ofourkind · 2019-07-27T00:56:34+00:00

Saying someone is "alpha" or "beta" is about as helpful as describing someone as "nice" or "mean".

Rarely you meet a person who is either one or the other, but pretty much everyone is a mixture of both and can change from one to the other based on circumstance, day to day, or the observers perspective.

FlavFal · 2019-07-26T16:34:24+00:00

I use alpha and beta only when I'm having meme discussions in the internet, it's not serious. If I were to use those terms IRL I'd describe alphas as promiscuous guys who usually talk too much and betas as everyone else.

ThisIsJustATr1bute · 2019-07-26T16:40:18+00:00

Not rigidly, but yes there’s a few categories if I think about it.

Family

Cool and attractive men—must be in this category to date or marry, but doesn’t mean I must. Can be friends.

Men I see as neuter and a person before a man—friends

Men who argue with me online

Paul McCartney

je_kut_is_bourgeois · 2019-07-26T18:11:36+00:00

I believe all these social categories are useless; that includes gender, ethnicity, subcultures, sexual orientations and any other social tribal category.

DebatePony · 2019-07-27T03:57:58+00:00

There's: my husband the most amazing and annoying person in the world.

All other guys.

Electra_Cute · 2019-07-26T16:29:02+00:00

I do, and I mentally group everyone whether or not I would be aware of it or not. "Alpha" and "Beta" are not a way I categorize people. The most black and white way I group men is by men who are threatening, and men who are not.

EthelSupreme · 2019-07-26T16:29:46+00:00

No, I do not group men. I have male friends and relatives and no one is a cartoon. My SO is completely different from my gay friends, and my dad is noting like my co-workers. Men are individuals. they may have a male nature but it's not Beta or Alpha in most cases.

[deleted] · 2019-07-26T20:19:41+00:00

I don’t mentally group men irl or even think about alpha/ beta etc, although if I were in a relationship I probably would get around to deciding which category he fit in and what that meant for us

THE_MASKED_DOWNVOTTO · 2019-07-26T20:28:53+00:00

Is a man ever just an Alpha or a Beta in your eyes? Do you have an understanding of these terms that differs from the way they are commonly used here? Are there better terms? Has being exposed to these concepts changed your opinion about particular men in your life?

Ok. I've never used "beta or alpha", but some guys always have to work for it, and some guys, I would bang in an instant. I can tell which is which just by 1 look, in the first 3 seconds of laying my eyes on him.

LivelyChartreuse · 2019-07-26T21:53:23+00:00

First, there's AMALT. Then there's "safe for me but not safe for thee" which would be family + fiance. Then there's "my male family & fiance's friends", so not 'safe' but low risk. Then there's gay men. That's it, that's all the men in the world.

SqueaksScreech · 2019-07-27T08:30:37+00:00

I don't do the alpha and beta type. I group people by who chilled, OCD, ass kisser, creep, blue falcon, etc.

I know how to narrow shit down. Who to converse with, who to avoid, who to look out from and who most likely to kill me over a rejection.

verticordia · 2019-07-27T19:25:19+00:00

Not really. There's men I am very attracted to and would want to date, men I would give a chance if we talked and our personalities clicked and there was chemistry, and men who are an automatic no.

I have a wide variety of beta and alpha traits I find attractive in different aspects. The highly masculine alpha men atlas talks about would be attractive to me, but I also don't mind guys with smaller builds (i actually prefer skinny/lean or even skinny fat guys) that aren't as masculine.

In the context of a social setting, I can pick out who's the alpha and beta, but that's without the context of sexual attraction. I can pick up social group dynamics easily and while I'm not saying I'm an AWALT goddess ready to jump the bones of any Billy Beta, I don't really base much of my attraction on who's the loudest or showing off the most like guys here say women do.

KikiYuyu · 2019-07-28T08:19:59+00:00

I don't group men, I group personalities in general.

LillthOfBabylon · 2019-07-30T12:29:47+00:00

Do you believe that they're helpful concepts?

No.

Is a man ever just an Alpha or a Beta in your eyes?

Rarely.

Do you have an understanding of these terms that differs from the way they are commonly used here?

Common is subjective.

Has being exposed to these concepts changed your opinion about particular men in your life?

No.

Here's my groups in terms of dating:
1. Would bang, but not date.

Would hang with, but not bang.
Cute guy I could date and bang.
Average guy I could date and bang.

planejane · 2019-07-26T16:54:46+00:00

Of course. All humans do.

But it's not the single-spectrum Alpha/Beta, at least to me. More like a bunch of overlapping Venn diagrams of different qualities and skill stacks, I suppose.

I find this difference actually kinda peculiar and fascinating from listening to the men here for so long. For a lot of them it's simply "Will fuck/Won't Fuck." Our own categorizing system is so much more delicately attuned and nuanced and layered, at least from what I've discussed with other women.

whichbladeN · 2019-07-26T16:35:41+00:00

My group for most people is 'those who have social awareness and those who don't'.

Somehow I always find myself running into socially inept guys.

-Mavs · 2019-07-26T21:58:56+00:00

There was talk on here about threatening men coming across as undatable because they're "threatening".

Let me just say that I get profiled (suggesting dangerousness, right?) in stores based on my looks and body language (I suppose) but out in the world women are extremely favorable towards me: they look and smile at me while I don't offer anything back. Heck the other day I got apples and some chicken while grocery shopping and women entered my bubble almost suggesting they wanted conversation (I take care of myself and was wearing a tank top which should add to how "dangerous" I am).

I could go on and be specific about my experiences looking "dangerous" and how women "react" to this.

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Tomatoccino · 2019-07-27T04:39:59+00:00

Alpha and Beta is way too simplistic.

I only consider men once my dog has approved of them.

Female_urinary_maze · 2019-07-27T07:33:01+00:00

Not in that way. I mentally note things about everyone I meet, but have never in my life decided a dude was "alpha" or "beta." Many traits that TRP people describe as "alpha" (ie being domineering, entitled, and narcissistic) will cause me to label a dude a dickhead.

Some traits considered "beta" (such as being quiet or anxious) are what I'd call neutral or cute qualities.

Other "beta" traits (such as being kind, paying attention to my needs, and admitting vulnerability) would cause me to label a guy as a good potential partner.

Title	Do You Mentally Group Men
Author	peterlongc
Upvotes	9
Comments	78
Date	July 26, 2019 4:25 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ci50bg/do_you_mentally_group_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-mentally-group-men.254725 https://theredarchive.com/post/254725

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