Does PUA actually work?

Mr_Chad_Thunderpenis · 2023-05-22T23:49:12+00:00

If you want to do well with women, you obviously have to have good social skills and confidence. But I heavily doubt those skills actually increase your chances significantly. It's not really a big plus if you have them, it's just a huge minus if you don't have them.

The only reason you see some questionable looking PUA artists have success with women is because: a)they are playing the numbers game and are spending a huge amount of time on it, and b)they approach and meet women in environments where alcohol and drugs run rampant, so their inhibitions are significantly lowered.

Asatmaya · 2023-05-23T00:18:00+00:00

OK, this should honestly be pinned at the top of the sub, or something.

The actual method to pick up women, similar to PUA, but without the ass-hattery:

Approach lots of women. This is both a numbers game and building experience/confidence.
Stand out. Make yourself memorable in some way, i.e. clothes, accent, etc. In this day and age, just being clean and presentable goes a long way. Appearing like you have a job is a good idea, too.
Be cool. Don't fawn over them, don't stare; if you are going to check out the merchandise, just do a quick, frank up-and-down, look away, and look back into her face. Talk to her like a human being, not an alien from another planet.
Get them talking, then listen. The PUA method is to lightly insult them (negging), then start playing with their emotional state like a fruit machine, which is probably more successful for getting ONSs, but has severe drawbacks for any kind of LTR, and is just generally a dick move. Ask questions about them, it doesn't have to be anything relevant; ask about their friends, their hobbies, what they wanted to be when they grew up, what they dreamed about last night, etc. They are almost certainly not interested in your job, hobbies, etc, but that's OK, don't worry about it, just don't expect to talk about them.
DO NOT MOVE ON HER UNLESS YOU GET THE SIGNAL! Yes, the signal can be subtle, and yes, there are women who want men to be more forward, and yes, this is a dangerous game to play, but "pretend resisting" and "actual resisting" should be pretty quickly obvious (note to women: You need to be at least a little obvious, here!), and that's just how it goes in professional sports. "Want to get out of here?" or some variation is usually the signal, but, "Your place or mine?" is the usual confirmation question. Less formally, if she is shoving her tits into your hands and rummaging around in your trousers, you are probably good to go. Lots of ambiguous ground in the middle, but you will figure it out.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2023-05-23T00:19:44+00:00

Honestly the best parts of game are social skills, charisma, taking the lead, and some of the basics of dating. The rest is questionable. The main theme of not being needy is quite useful and is really about attachment styles in psychology and avoiding fight or flight.

MxMaster9907 · 2023-05-23T09:59:36+00:00

Of course not.

Brother, if you think dating apps are TOO MUCH WORK then you shouldn’t be dating 💀

DavidDoesDallas · 2023-05-23T08:47:30+00:00

The PUA Community was a fad ~2005. I was a part of it and a member of a lair in a major US City. I now consider myself a retired PUA many years ago.

with the fact that for a lot of them their life goal is to fuck women,

I've met dozens of PUAs and I disagree with this statement.

their stuff only seems to work on women already physically attracted to them.

This point is debatable. I don't have a strong opinion. It is difficult to tell if someone is attracted to you to first minute you meet them.

If so which PUA's ideas worked best for you?

Cold approaching women in public with an indirect approach is hit and miss. There are times when you strike out and there are times when you get the girl's number. "Approaching Women and Starting Conversations" from David DeAngelo is a very good DVD set. And it will help minimize approach anxiety.

On the flip side, there are techniques that I never prescribed to:

Negging - this was introduced by one coach. In practice I have seen it work but I've seen it fail more often. Many times it's in the execution that fails.

Last Minute Resistance - again this was taught from the same coach. I never used it and felt it was not ethical.

Overall, I think PUA does help but it does require work.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-05-23T13:07:27+00:00

Think about this. If PUA worked: if it really created a method that was guaranteed to get dudes laid with 100 percent i, wouldn’t the person who developed that be the richest man in the world? What guy, especially young men, wouldn’t be willing to put down money to be able to do that? Why would it be kept a “secret”? Hell his could it be kept a secret. All bitching did was make a few dudes rich and crypto exploded and crypto-bros became a thing and are still a thing. And that’s just money. We are talking getting laid here.

if someone is promising you something too good to be true,

EverVigilant1 · 2023-05-22T23:50:27+00:00

Pickup will get you fast sex with women who are looking for sex.

Game and social skills is not the same as pickup. Two different skill sets.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2023-05-23T05:37:47+00:00

No. There's no game that will cause a woman who isn't attracted to you to become attracted to you.

However if by game you mean escalating on a woman who is attracted to you. Then yes. And once you become fearless with it it becomes a near superpower for getting into a girl's pants quickly.

But ultimately, a lot of those will be one night stands or you'll be the guy they'd fuck but never date.

Some of us are fine with that lol

But you have to build your romantic value too if you want to keep women around. Good sex helps but it adds less to your romantic value than you'd think

odd_cloud · 2023-05-23T02:21:36+00:00

I think, pua is useful to a degree. I absolutely agree that a lot of pua stuff is pure cringe. But reading it and making your own conclusions helps you to understand something about flirting if you don’t have an idea about it.

bruhminer · 2023-05-23T08:26:20+00:00

Do not bother with any of this shit unless you've maximized your physical attractiveness, that's the most important thing by far.

PUA is mostly worthless garbage, especially the "approach random women on street/club/bar", I've never heard of anyone personally who ever got a girl doing that shit, women don't want to be approached IRL by randos even if they might be attractive.

JumboJetz · 2023-05-23T00:05:54+00:00

No it doesn’t work. It works in the same way if I told you to wear a magic red bracelet to your next job interview works.

If you get the job you’ll think it was because of the bracelet. Maybe wearing the bracelet even gives you placebo confidence so you do better with the bracelet. But objectively wearing the bracelet has nothing to do with whether you got the job or not and may even be a slight hindrance to your success (an interviewer might think it’s weird you wear a red bracelet).

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63daddy · 2023-05-22T23:59:22+00:00

Attraction isn’t magic, it happens for a reason and it’s certainly possible to have social skills that help build attraction. For many women, and some men these skills come naturally, for others they must be learned, which can be challenging.

Obviously how good any program or individual is at teaching these skills can vary. They also require practice to master. Nervousness and awkwardness shine through even if you’ve got the basics down well.

Also at issue is how much you really want to purse what you’ve learned. Some guys love the game and chase. A good friend of mine is constantly chatting up the ladies when we go out. I can do what he does, I just don’t like it very much. I’d rather spend the evening with people I know than doing cold approaches.

social_mule · 2023-05-23T00:05:18+00:00

Yes, but only on a certain type of woman.

Treacle-Flimsy · 2023-05-23T03:08:51+00:00

Reasonably. It's important to remember that you will need to improvise with it a lot, as it will need "calibration " to your attractiveness but it gives the framework to judge your approaches better

Also, it comes better with practice, so I suggest you find a few places without your acquaintances to practice your social skills. And don't worry how you will upset someone if they discovered that you practiced something on them, you go first, them later

mrcs84usn · 2023-05-23T04:00:52+00:00

Most pick up artists, if they’re honest with you, will concede that they have about a 20% success rate.

But if you got rejected by 4 girls and went home with the 5th, would you say you had a good night???

Cobra_x30 · 2023-05-23T06:30:43+00:00

I'll give you a recent example.

I was out with a friend, both around 50 years old, and we got talking to a group of 3 people, two men and one woman about 20 years or so younger than us.

At some point she mentioned something about rope, and my friend looked her right in the eye and said, "Oh, would you like me to tie you up?" She was visibly shocked, took a step back, and when she had composed herself, said, "Yes, actually, I might like that later."

From that moment on her eyes never left him. We went out for a few drinks with a group of other people, a bit of dancing, and they ended up going home and having sex.

Now, it wasn't that he said any magic words, and that move was not the whole story as she then took a couple of hours interacting with us to feel comfortable around us, but it was a ballsy, high-risk, high-reward move, that clearly stated his intentions and demonstrated his confidence. I also did my job as a wingman, teasing him so she could see how he reacted, and telling her fun stories that reflected well on him.

No doubt many other things would have led the interaction in the right direction, but if he had been shy or held back, or we had never struck up a conversation in the first place, he would not have got to have sex with her.

You can't "seduce" a woman who does not want to be seduced, but you can make things more likely to happen than not.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-05-23T09:35:21+00:00

PUA is a huge mixed bag. Of course a lot of it works, to various degrees, in various settings pursuing various goals.

The main thing I would filter for is what women, ultimately on a biological basis but amplified by culture, find attractive. Ask yourselves which, if any, of these qualities that you may be lacking in you could legitimately develop. Truly make a part of you. Also focus on those qualities that are both attractive to women, but that you also feel make you a better person in general. You shouldn't be doing too many things JUST to attract women.

Your goal should be a life of positive relations and relationships with women, hopefully leading to one life-long partnership. Keeping up some 'frame' forever is incredibly hard, and even if possible, not worth the cost. You must be able to truly become an improved person in various respects, not fake being so forever.

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2023-05-23T13:48:51+00:00

Dude your problem is you’re looking for a shortcut and there are no shortcuts. You say yourself- you have no game, you barely approach women, you don’t use OLD cuz it’s “too much work” and you don’t know how to talk to a woman.

So learn how to talk to women. Put some effort it. Why should woman want to give you her time or body when you don’t know how to interact and you don’t want to try or learn?

BensonInFL · 2023-05-23T15:09:01+00:00

Does PUA actually work?

It worked for me, I went from a guy who was extremely uncomfortable talking to any girl outside, such as my waitress at a restaurant, to dating multiple girls for long periods of time, sleeping with over 50 girls, and 2 marriages.

If so which PUA's ideas worked best for you?

There are 2 sides to becoming successful with pickup, 1) the tools / techniques 2)the inner game - how you feel about yourself. People starting out are obsessed with the techniques, they will download 100 books and videos and lectures, and think .. I'm starting to see the pieces of the puzzle, but I need to consume just one more book to have the complete picture.. before I'm ready to approach.. but that one magic book never comes, and the anxiety doesn't go away by just reading material.

If you were learning to drive a car, or kayak, how many books/videos do you need to watch and techniques to learn, before you go outside and actually practice? PUA is the same, its only by approaching, interacting, getting further ahead that you can go back, review what happened, and keep making improvements. Once you get over the bump and sleep with a few girls, especially ones that you thought were out of your league, you will start to see the world out of abundance instead of scarcity, you will 'feel' better about yourself and more confident. You will have the will to continue growing, you will see the light. This transformation will absolutely not happen by just reading books, no matter how many you consume.. trust me.. I've read them all :)

-B

Cobra_x30 · 2023-05-23T22:02:29+00:00

Look, a lot of the stuff you see posted on YouTube are paid actors and they are trying to make money by selling weird systems and methods.

Let me be the first to say that "game" works. PUA is so effective that once you get good at it, women are never really a struggle again. The other thing is that there are many different ways to run game that work on different types of women. What you need to do is figure out what types of game come easy to you and then begin running that type of game.

At my core I'm and intellectual type guy. The kind of game I run seems to really attract a lot of hardcore feminist types.... and I really don't like them much as people. It's very hard for me to run the kind of game that attracts cheerleader types, but I have done it and can do it... just requires more effort than I typically want to put in. So, I run with my niche and appreciate the positives of the women who like me while ignoring most of the negatives. They don't put a ton of effort into appearance... not like I do, but they are very sex positive most times and down to do shit other women just won't. So that's just how life works.

Kikidoodle2 · 2023-05-24T14:05:57+00:00

Answer: These days, no! It probably worked 15 - 20 years ago, when it came out. But not today anymore. Things altogether changed so much.

No_Hat9118 · 2023-08-05T18:25:31+00:00

Yes it works bro, but it will change u forever, u can’t go back to the guy u were before

Title	Does PUA actually work?
Author	Lovers691
Upvotes	8
Comments	72
Date	May 22, 2023 11:35 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/13p7a8r/does_pua_actually_work/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-pua-actually-work.1220077 https://theredarchive.com/post/1220077

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