Does your morality affect your implementation of Dating Strategy?

Barely-moral · 2020-08-07T18:56:04+00:00

A hot girl wants your dick, but has an SO. Would you? What if she is married?

She will not get anything she wants from me. I will not create an incentive structure that rewards immorality.

A girl is looking for a serious relationship, and you lead her on a bit to get in her pants a few times while saying you love her, then ghost. Would you?

I wouldn't lead her on because that sounds a lot like lying but lets continue.

She’s really sexy but a bit crazy and you dislike her personality. Maybe she is a bit of a bitch. Ok to pump and dump?

I don't like casual sex. I don't find it immoral. Ok to pump and dump if I was into casual sex. Still, I wouldn't lie to her. I have a strict code to follow and I will not break it for such a stupid reason.

You think she wants you to commit for access to your resources. She heard you have a good job. Maybe she is a single mother. You want a piece of that hot ass but don’t want to support another man’s children. That goldigging whore deserves to get curved.

I am not going to waste her time. There are other men that would be willing to pay for her and her children. Maybe she deserves to get curved, I am not going to be the one to waste her time. I would tell her what I think about her and the situation. Then leave.

She is a naive sweetheart and romantic who doesn’t realize you are a ruthless redpilled fuckboi gaming and using her. Feel any guilt in this scenario?

Does not compute. I am not a ruthless redpill fuckboi. I am a ruthless purplepill beta. I am get what I want and exactly what I want but I am not lying to my potential partner/partner. I am not going to use anyone. I get what I want, I give my partner what she wants and if she decides to stop bringing her best to the table only then she will see how ruthless I can be when I leave her without a second tought.

jigglypuff__0 · 2020-08-07T19:00:16+00:00

For women:

Your boyfriend has become mean and kind of abusive, yet you are dependent on them for resources currently. You find a hot guy who treats you right and is willing to have a discreet affair with you. Would you? Remember, your present financial situation means you don’t want to break up with your boyfriend, and since he is a jerk maybe he deserves to get cheated on.

Fuck no. Just get my funds up and leave him. They’ll call this monkey branching but men do it to except they’ll cheat with an uglier broker girl just to get his dick wet. Girls cheat too and it’s shitty but when guys here can attest that if it happens it was a (terrible shameful) exit strategy. Men will cheat on a woman 5 times above his league with a troll cause they’re horny. I’ve personally never seen a woman make that mistake and if they do they’re always mentally disturbed and really obvious poor choices in a partner.

If my bf is abusive, I’d get my ducks in a row and prepare my exit. But a woman should never be financially reliant on boys. At most, your husband.

You have a beta orbiter who texts you often providing emotional support and often gives you gifts. You know he likes you. Do you:

a. Let him down softly, thus losing his attention and resource commitment (“You are like a brother to me.”) Don’t let him foolishly waste his time. If he actually just wants to be friends, then he’ll stick around.

c. Don’t encourage or push him away. Let him do what he wants until he makes his move, then turn him down. Let things play out naturally.

I do A and C. The thing with orbiters are...I mean they know what it is. They get rejected all the time. They keep coming back and giving their resources out of friendship. If they are too into you to be friends then they can see themselves out. But if I notice a friend starts hitting on me too much I’ll pull away for his own sake.

Your boyfriend of three years introduces you to their friend who is taller, more muscular, more extroverted, and more financially successful. After a while this friend expresses their interest in you. Your boyfriend of three years is still the man you fell in love with back then and he has been good to you, but this guy seems superior in many categories. Perhaps your smv is a few points above your current boyfriend. Ok to branch swing to someone you see as more in your league?

Happened in real life and fuck no. As long as my needs are met I am happy. Women are smarter than men as they actually assess risk v. Reward. Leaving a man I’m in love with who has shown fidelity, maturity and morals would be the dumbest fucking shit in the world.

I do think men and women under estimate how disgusted we are by men’s obsessive need for sex variety and women. The porn addiction and need to watch cam girls/NSFW subs/insta thots dampens our attraction ten fold which makes it easier to for us to move on.

But if my bf is a good dude and he’s all about me. He’s getting all of me. It’s also in a woman’s best interest to be what men want. Attractive, high quality, sexual but also fiercely loyal. I give that to men who I trust and date and I’ve never had a man end things with me. So it really goes both ways.

LittyKitsune · 2020-08-07T19:09:33+00:00

Your boyfriend has become mean and kind of abusive, yet you are dependent on them for resources currently. You find a hot guy who treats you right and is willing to have a discreet affair with you. Would you? Remember, your present financial situation means you don’t want to break up with your boyfriend, and since he is a jerk maybe he deserves to get cheated on.

Can't relate to this situation because relying financially on a man you're not married to is a massive taboo in my family. In exchange for focusing on school my parents help me out financially.

You have a beta orbiter who texts you often providing emotional support and often gives you gifts. You know he likes you.

We wouldn't make it to "often." I usually look to family and female friends for emotional support. I mainly just have fun and talk about dumb stuff or shared hobbies with my guy friends. As for gifts, again, my parents give me enough. Looking to a guy for stuff like that does not register.

Your boyfriend of three years introduces you to their friend who is taller, more muscular, more extroverted, and more financially successful. After a while this friend expresses their interest in you. Your boyfriend of three years is still the man you fell in love with back then and he has been good to you, but this guy seems superior in many categories. Perhaps your smv is a few points above your current boyfriend. Ok to branch swing to someone you see as more in your league?

First of all, his friend would suck for doing that. I'm already concious enough of disrupting friend dynamics (e.g. when two guys from the same friend group expressed interest at the same time). Outright leaving my BF for one of his friends? Fuck that.

That said, a 3-year courtship with zero talk of marriage is kind of a danger zone in my family. I would have to ask about his intentions and if he doesn't see us going anywhere I'd have to end it (even before the 3 years probably). This would happen regardless of whether his scummy friend is interested in me though.

Bonus: Why would I expect loyalty from a man who can't even be loyal to his friends?

SaBahRub · 2020-08-07T19:05:53+00:00

How about you all just...don’t do these things? I know we all love to push our problems, desires and mental dysfunction onto other people, but it seems to be causing lots of unhappiness, for both initiator and recipient

Are you all so uncomfortable with being alone?

DefendtheTruth · 2020-08-07T19:47:57+00:00

1: A hot girl wants your dick, but has an SO. Would you? What if she is married?

I would hunt down who the boyfriend is by asking around or searching through social media, and then produce evidence of her attempted infidelity with me. Send a few screenshots of our text convos or something. Since I’m doing him a solid, ask him to pretend he found out about this on his own without me telling him so I don’t get implicated and have to worry about her seeking revenge against me.

Seeing justice delivered against assholes is far more satisfying than any pussy could ever be.

goatismycopilot · 2020-08-07T19:40:44+00:00

I find these scenarios artificial, I would have never found myself relying on a BF for resources. A few hot women have beta orbiters who give "gifts" other than that it is not super common, I guess it depends on the gift. Do you some random to takes you out to a crappy chain restaurant thinking that defines him as Mr.Generosity? Because I can do that for myself but I don't because I hate the food in those places, it tastes like pre chewed garbage.

I have somehow managed to act in my own self interest without committing crimes or crushing the spirits of others.

akaean · 2020-08-07T20:44:04+00:00

At the end of the day, the only person I have to sleep with at night is myself. So I better make sure that no matter what, I can sleep with myself at night.

wtknight · 2020-08-07T18:52:14+00:00

A hot girl wants your dick, but has an SO. Would you? What if she is married?

No. I don’t have casual sex, and such a situation is by definition casual since I’m not in a relationship with the person. Even if she just wanted to make out I wouldn’t do it, because I don’t aid cheaters. I wouldn’t like it if some guy helped my SO cheat, so I wouldn’t make the same choice myself. If she wants to do things with other guys, she should just be honest and tell me that she wants to break up.

A girl is looking for a serious relationship, and you lead her on a bit to get in her pants a few times while saying you love her, then ghost. Would you?

No, I don’t like casual sex, and I try to avoid hurting people unnecessarily too. Hurting someone with the purpose of having sex is unnecessary, in my mind.

_mwk · 2020-08-07T19:27:43+00:00

1: Your boyfriend has become mean and kind of abusive, yet you are dependent on them for resources currently. You find a hot guy who treats you right and is willing to have a discreet affair with you. Would you? Remember, your present financial situation means you don’t want to break up with your boyfriend, and since he is a jerk maybe he deserves to get cheated on.

my worst nightmare so i refuse to ever be in a situation where im "depedent on them for resources". not cheating, leaving.

2: You have a beta orbiter who texts you often providing emotional support and often gives you gifts. You know he likes you.

option 3, it's cringy imo to be like "hey i know you like me but i don't like you" what if im just being delusional & the poor dude doesnt actually like me ???

3: Your boyfriend of three years introduces you to their friend who is taller, more muscular, more extroverted, and more financially successful. After a while this friend expresses their interest in you. Your boyfriend of three years is still the man you fell in love with back then and he has been good to you, but this guy seems superior in many categories. Perhaps your smv is a few points above your current boyfriend. Ok to branch swing to someone you see as more in your league?

uhm no, unless i lose feelings for the bf. it's cruel to keep someone in a loveless relationship. (edit : & I wouldn't go for the friend, that's just...not worth it)

with that said, i sometimes do things that could be harmful to another person for my own personal self gain when dating. i draw the line at cheating, id never cheat.

Tyler_Gatsby · 2020-08-07T20:22:24+00:00

Male, Yes, I have and totally would sleep with a married/attached woman. I'd like to say I'd never do that again, but I've already said that before the last one too.

No, I would not lie to get in any woman's pants. I think I am above that. Drunken sex or under the influence is the closest I'd come to taking advantage of, and she'd have to be actively participating. Kissing back and coherent and such.

decoy88 · 2020-08-07T18:54:56+00:00

1: A hot girl wants your dick, but has an SO. Would you? What if she is married?

If I was single, yep!

2: A girl is looking for a serious relationship, and you lead her on a bit to get in her pants a few times while saying you love her, then ghost. Would you? Let’s compare three scenarios:

Nop. I don’t agree with leading people on.

SkookumTree · 2020-08-07T18:56:45+00:00

None of the above. For the first: I don't sleep with people I know to be partnered. I've heard there are two schools of thought on this: either don't do it, or if you do it, tell the partner of the person you slept with. I'm not risk-tolerant enough for the latter approach and don't want the social blowback that this could create; also, I'm not into casual sex.

For the second: wouldn't lead anyone on.

cloudydays84 · 2020-08-07T19:25:26+00:00

1: A hot girl wants your dick, but has an SO. Would you? What if she is married?

No, I hate cheaters. And by extension that also means the people they cheat with, as the expreassion goes "takes 2 to tango" (obviously this wouldn't count if the side piece didn't actually know they were complicit in someone's affair). If someone i knew was committed was attempting to make a pass behind their partners back 2 things are gonna happen: 1) Immediate Rejection and 2) I'm telling their partner. It's a pretty simple system

2: A girl is looking for a serious relationship, and you lead her on a bit to get in her pants a few times while saying you love her, then ghost. Would you? Let’s compare three scenarios:

I don't like leading people on, I especially don't like throwing the L word around liberally. I have ghosted people in the past but im not proud of it, and I try hard to avoid doing that.

a: She’s really sexy but a bit crazy and you dislike her personality. Maybe she is a bit of a bitch. Ok to pump and dump?

If someone's personality is shit, I really can't see myself sleeping with them. You don't have to be a Saint but if I think your a bitch I don't think sex is happening unless all of a sudden I develop a thing for hate fucking.

b: You think she wants you to commit for access to your resources. She heard you have a good job. Maybe she is a single mother. You want a piece of that hot ass but don’t want to support another man’s children. That gold digging whore deserves to get curved.

This sounds like "it's okay because she was trying to use me" justification. I mean honestly it's not the worst logic, but still a no from me. Not only would I just feel bad, from a pragmatic point it's just as much work to fake commit as it is to real commit. If I was looking to put in all this work to commit (I'm not) then why would I be with someone who isn't compatible. Casual sex honestly isn't/shouldn't be worth all the effort.

c: She is a naive sweetheart and romantic who quickly becomes attached but doesn’t realize you are a ruthless redpilled fuckboi gaming and using her. Feel any guilt in this scenario?

I mean I don't consider myself a "redilled fuckboi" so you I'd probably feel really shitty leading her on. I'm the kinda person that likes putting my intentions out in the open, transparency is just easier for me because this specific scenario, one with misunderstandings and hurt feelings, is what I'm trying to avoid.

SplushkaMcOwlFace · 2020-08-07T19:42:05+00:00

For women.

It's a shitty situation to be in. I would plan and prepare finances to leave. If he is abusive I would not have any moral suffering over cheating with guy who makes me happy.
A and C. I am sure he would guess that we are only friends if he knows I am married. Perhaps he also appreciates my friendship and he also gets emotional support from me. I am not that bad friend. Otherwise I would let him know that I am not interested if I know that he wants me.
It depends of our relationships. We are 3 years together and still are not married, why? Some problem in relationships and I am forever girlfriend? Then anything can happen. If we have loving healthy relationships, we are happy and I see that there's a future, no handsome friend can disturb it.

Substantial_Wasabi · 2020-08-07T20:26:57+00:00

2: You have a beta orbiter who texts you often providing emotional support and often gives you gifts. You know he likes you. Do you:

b: Deliberately act to keep him in your orbit by subtly stringing him along. With the cowardly insincerity of his strategy, perhaps he deserves it, and you really enjoy his platonic affection and attention.

I hate this narrative from men where they think women purposefully string orbiters along. Orbiters are gonna orbit no matter what, the only time they stop is if you literally tell them to fuck off or flat out insult them in some other way (which we shouldn't have to do). I've had guys who comment on my stories or dm me literally multiple times without a reply and they keep going, even when i open the message and leave them on seen.

Doing option A which is to "let him down softly" usually doesn't deter them, now they just see you as a challenge or "oneitis" and keep trying.

Anyways i'll bite:

2: C usually, sometimes a, sometimes b except i don't see it as deliberately stringing him on... if he's the one initiating everything and doing all the work it should be obvious im not into him.

3: Stupid question because that all depends on the unique relationship with your boyfriend, but i'm gonna say no to branch swinging because when i like a guy, every other guy literally seems invisible to me even if they look better.

Mimoxs · 2020-08-07T21:14:43+00:00

Female

1, No, I would not cheat. I'd find a way to live independently, even if it meant having to move in with parents or something.

I had vowed to never get in a position where I'm financially dependent in the first place.

2, A

3, No. I would not be in a relationship with someone I felt the desire to "branch swing" from. If I feel that desire it means something is wrong in the relationship and I would work to fix that.

I have one time and one time only broken up with someone and dated someone else soon after that but it wasn't someone I was considering prior to breaking up.

I have a strong conscience, I tend to feel bad and guilty even for things that aren't my fault. I've always felt awful turning down people, I can't stand making boys sad. I don't think I could do something like cheating or abandoning for a guy whose just more attractive and be able to live with myself.

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-08-07T21:30:51+00:00

1: A hot girl wants your dick, but has an SO. Would you? What if she is married?

Nope. Been in that situation a few times before. I don't condone cheating because it's a shitty thing to do. If you don't want it to happen to you, don't do it and don't enable others to do it either.

2: A girl is looking for a serious relationship, and you lead her on a bit to get in her pants a few times while saying you love her, then ghost. Would you? Let’s compare three scenarios:

No, I wouldn't lead her on. If we're incompatible LTR-wise but that wasn't known until later on, I'd be disappointed and break it off. I'm not up for using people for the short-term because that is also shitty. I prefer to leave things and people better than before I found them.

How many here can say they act purely in their own self interest? Personally, I’m against doing things I consider immoral for personal gain.

It's really difficult to say what people would do because being in that situation is much different from just talking about it. If I had someone that I thought was attractive heavily coming on to me and basically jumping on top of me even though I wasn't interested in them romantically, I might give in and rip her clothes off right then and there, to be honest. Things aren't always black and white. We can just pretend that they are when they're not really happening.

SherbertBacon · 2020-08-07T22:15:29+00:00

A hot girl wants your dick, but has an SO. Would you? What if she is married?

Depends a lot on the circumstances, but probably not.

A girl is looking for a serious relationship, and you lead her on a bit to get in her pants a few times while saying you love her, then ghost. Would you?

No to all three. Lying is for weak men. If you can't get what you want by being honest I have no respect for you.

kwalden2 · 2020-08-07T22:29:57+00:00

Woman here

1) Abusive boyfriend on whom I am dependent. This would never happen. I am never dependent, and cheating is never okay for me. It's necessary for self-repsect that I am neither independent or involved in cheating.

2) Orbiter. Let him down an gently as possible, hopefully he takes the hint and we can figure out something that works for us. Sometimes they can handle being equal friends, and sometimes they have to go.

3) This would also never happen. I would never be with a man for 3 years who I "can do better than." This just sounds ridiculous. I guess I'll play along, though. 3 years is long enough to see if my boyfriend is marriage material. If he isn't as committed as I am, and if he's not planning to propose soon, I'd break up and possibly see if I like the new guy. It would take some time, but maybe not much. At least then I might have a chance with someone who would see a future with me. Why would I feel morally bad about this, again? Because the first guy treated me well? Uh, that's the bare minimum for any human being. He should be treating every one of his girlfriends well, and I'm sure he'd be treating the next one well soon enough, too, and maybe one day he would actually want to marry her. Everybody wins.

relish5k · 2020-08-07T20:55:13+00:00

1: Your boyfriend has become mean and kind of abusive, yet you are dependent on them for resources currently

Wouldn't happen, I make my own money and have no debt. The only scenario I could see that happening is if this boyfriend and I had a child together and I was working less / part-time. In which case I would probably appeal to his family, who have a vested interest in protecting their grandchild and straightening out their soon. My goal would be to first extricate myself from or improve my current situation then to get myself in a new one.

You have a beta orbiter who texts you often providing emotional support and often gives you gifts

If a male friend started acting in a way where I could tell he was interested in something more, I would just ice him out, as it would be disrespectful to my husband to maintain a "friendship" of that nature. If I was single, then I would probably maintain the "friendship" but draw the line at getting gifts,that's weird. So I guess option c.

3: Your boyfriend of three years introduces you to their friend who is taller, more muscular, more extroverted, and more financially successful.

I feel like this is a tough one, because in my mind it's like "what if you had met your current husband (who is tall, muscular, successful, etc) while you were dating one of your exes? Would you leave your ex-bf for the man who is now your husband? And the answer is, hell yeah!!

But if the question was, if you met someone taller, more muscular, richer and more extroverted when you had been dating your now-husband for 3 years, would you have gotten with that guy instead? The answer is probably not. My guy is plenty attractive and has all the things I'm looking for. We have had pretty intense chemistry from day 1. In no way am I settling for him, he is 10/10.

TheJim66 · 2020-08-07T20:58:25+00:00

Generally I agree with master morality to an extend but follow my own morals and wouldn't do anything that would make me be ashamed of myself or view myself as an asshole.

So:

A hot girl wants your dick, but has an SO. Would you? What if she is married?

Would and have done this with women in relationships. I don't have any obligation to the dude, she has. If it wasn't me, it would be someone else. I would probably think it twice if she was married but if I'm being honest I would do it if she was hot enough and made it easy for me.

She’s really sexy but a bit crazy and you dislike her personality. Maybe she is a bit of a bitch. Ok to pump and dump?

Pump and away

You think she wants you to commit for access to your resources. She heard you have a good job. Maybe she is a single mother. You want a piece of that hot ass but don’t want to support another man’s children. That gold digging whore deserves to get curved.

Pump and away.

She is a naive sweetheart and romantic who quickly becomes attached but doesn’t realize you are a ruthless redpilled fuckboi gaming and using her as just another plate. Feel any guilt in this scenario?

I draw a line in this. I don't want to reward good people and behaviors with shit. Wouldn't do it and if I did I would feel guilty.

Lacuna-Foil · 2020-08-07T20:59:42+00:00

1: Your boyfriend has become mean and kind of abusive, yet you are dependent on them for resources currently. You find a hot guy who treats you right and is willing to have a discreet affair with you. Would you? Remember, your present financial situation means you don’t want to break up with your boyfriend, and since he is a jerk maybe he deserves to get cheated on.

This one is a little tricky for me only because I have a) a very strong rule about not becoming financially dependent on a partner and b) my family would absolutely take me in if I were being abused. But in your context, no I wouldn't. I would be looking to get out as quickly and quietly as possible. I don't want to be dependent so my goal would be resource allocation and an escape plan. And I don't want to fuck a dude who would be cool with helping someone cheat. Cheating is abhorrent and I want no part in it.

2: You have a beta orbiter who texts you often providing emotional support and often gives you gifts. You know he likes you. Do you:

A: Let him down gently. Also if I knew that he was interested and I wasn't, the gift receiving ends. That's weird.

3: Your boyfriend of three years introduces you to their friend who is taller, more muscular, more extroverted, and more financially successful. After a while this friend expresses their interest in you. Your boyfriend of three years is still the man you fell in love with back then and he has been good to you, but this guy seems superior in many categories. Perhaps your smv is a few points above your current boyfriend. Ok to branch swing to someone you see as more in your league?

I think the concept of the SMV is frankly ridiculous, and being taller/more muscular/extroverted/richer does not ensure he's a great partner and none of those are things I find essential to happiness. While I don't think I'm all that picky, I know what I like and I'm not going to fall out of love with someone just because some dude has bigger biceps or a bigger paycheque.

snowleave · 2020-08-07T21:26:31+00:00

My ethics include treating a person like a person no consideration of gender when deciding what im doing.

If it's clear she just wants to cheat on her husband for the trill of cheating ill be reluctant but could still get talked into spending a night with them.
Scenarios don't matter you're allowed to break off the relationship if you're unhappy. Its a bit vain to use another person for their body or resources but you're allowed to see where it goes even if it doesn't seem like the best situation at first as long as no ones being actually being hurt as a result. You're a dick if you try to make her feel used but generally sending a text saying i'm sorry this isn't working out and stoping contact is all you need to do to be good. Also not sticking your dick in crazy helps.

c_dolly · 2020-08-07T21:54:35+00:00

All those situations feel weird and artificial to me, so I'll answer the boarder question.

Does my morality affect my "dating strategy" ? Yes, very much so. How ?

"Don't do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you"

I wouldn't lead anyone on, or sleep with a taken person, or throw away loyalty because I wouldn't want to be in the ""victim"""'s position.

BROWN-TOILET-PAPER · 2020-08-07T23:11:40+00:00

1: A hot girl wants your dick, but has an SO. Would you? What if she is married?

Only did this once. Disrespect me and I'll fuck your wife.

2: A girl is looking for a serious relationship, and you lead her on a bit to get in her pants a few times while saying you love her, then ghost. Would you?

I'd never tell someone I love them and not mean it. Wouldn't lead her on if she wants a serious relationship and I don't. I'd just offer her temporary companionship if she'd like, until she finds someone else. FWB basically.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2020-08-08T00:09:41+00:00

1: A hot girl wants your dick, but has an SO. Would you? What if she is married?

If I was single. I would. Don't care if she's married.

2: A girl is looking for a serious relationship, and you lead her on a bit to get in her pants a few times while saying you love her, then ghost. Would you?

I would.

pdrt3 · 2020-08-07T18:47:41+00:00

As a guy, I would not do 1 just because I don't want to potentially deal with her crazy SO. I would do 2abc. Why should she retroactively feel bad about sex with someone that she consented with? Unless she was only doing it in exchange for the promise of future resources. But if there is mutual attraction and then things break off later, the sex is still beneficial for both parties at the time.

SeemedGood · 2020-08-07T19:39:07+00:00

Man

Yes. Her relationship is not my business, that’s hers. How she wants to treat her relationship is also not my business. If I have a relationship with the guy in question then it is my business and I would honor that relationship by telling the guy what’s going on and seeing where he stands.

2a. Any woman whose personality I dislike isn’t going to be sexually attractive to me enough to want to have anything to do with her. Next.

2b. Any woman who is explicit about wanting to exchange sex for utility is explicitly prostituting herself and should expect to be treated like an honest prostitute. Any woman seeking to seeking to covertly exchange sex for utility is also prostituting herself and should expect to be treated like a dishonest prostitute. P&D is best case for either.

2c. Any woman who is attractive and romantically interested in me for my being without regard to my utility to herself would be an LTR candidate, not a P&D candidate. If she is “romantically” interested for my potential utility to herself, she is no different than 2b.

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thetruthishere_ · 2020-08-08T02:40:35+00:00

I dont play games with anyone and upfront to the point I stick my foot in my mouth at times. Im very tell it like it is.

midwesternMD · 2020-08-08T08:07:21+00:00

Overall, I take a moral approach. My conscience and my values are important to me. I need to be able to be happy with myself.

1: A hot girl wants your dick, but has an SO. Would you? What if she is married?

Nope. Short of her waking me up with sex (ie: my faculties are compromised), I wouldn't do it. Having been cheated on before, I refuse to participate in perpetuating that kind of pain in the world.

2: A girl is looking for a serious relationship, and you lead her on a bit to get in her pants a few times while saying you love her, then ghost. Would you?

Non-issue for me. If we're not having sex by the 5th or 6th date, I move on to someone else. I know myself well-enough to accept that sexual compatibility is very important to me in a LTR, and sexual desire (ie: withholding sex due to some antiquated value system) is part of that compatibility. I have never and would never drop the L-bomb early on.

She’s really sexy but a bit crazy and you dislike her personality. Maybe she is a bit of a bitch. Ok to pump and dump?

Probably not. For one, I'd be terrified if she turned into a crazy stalker. But if she's a harmless kind of crazy and I can somehow work the phrase "You're such a bitch. I kind of want to just hate fuck you" into the conversation and still not turn her away, yeah, I could see myself fucking her.

You think she wants you to commit for access to your resources. She heard you have a good job. Maybe she is a single mother. You want a piece of that hot ass but don’t want to support another man’s children. That gold digging whore deserves to get curved.

No desire whatsoever. I run into this with some regularity, actually. It's kind of annoying to reveal that I'm a physician. I'm stuck second guessing whether she's into me because of who I am vs what I do for a living. On a related note, not wanting to support another man's child is the reason why I no longer date single mothers. I date to potentially find someone worth keeping around and potentially start a family with. I'm not a big enough person to treat "her" kids the same as I would treat "our" kids.

She is a naive sweetheart and romantic who quickly becomes attached but doesn’t realize you are a ruthless redpilled fuckboi gaming and using her as just another plate. Feel any guilt in this scenario?

I've only begun delving into what TRP/BP/FDS is about. So I'm not into this whole plate spinning thing. If she's a romantic naive sweetheart of a woman who is sexually into me, I'll have sex with her to help figure out whether we're sexually compatible. Because if we are sexually compatible, she's the kind of woman I could see myself remarrying.

redditthrowaway1478 · 2020-08-08T16:26:44+00:00

Yes my morality and emotions do play a role in my decision making. Sometimes it’s a real bitch trying to maintain a moral code too. In your example questions, the answer is easy for me:

No. Would not sleep or even try to sleep with her. I have had women reach out to me who were in relationships before, and I usually ignore them or ask how their bf is doing. There’d be temptation, sure, but I feel pretty strongly about this stuff and would make efforts to ensure I was never in a position where my code is compromised.
I mean, even if I’m not looking for a relationship, I’ve never held off on the idea that a fling or whatever could turn into more. I’m always upfront that I’d be down for more if we vibe well enough. I would NEVER tell her I love her after a few hookups tho, even to get in her pants. Wtf lol. Never been THAT desperate...

geyejoe7 · 2020-08-09T13:55:11+00:00

Title

Yes.

1: A hot girl wants your dick, but has an SO. Would you? What if she is married?

Absolutely not. If I found out she has an SO, I'm out. It's morally wrong. I'm engaged and if my fiancee did that to me, I'd kill her and her lover lol.

But also, I'd feel disgusted with myself. I would have too much respect for their relationship. More respect than that girl has, clearly.

2: A girl is looking for a serious relationship, and you lead her on a bit to get in her pants a few times while saying you love her, then ghost. Would you? Let’s compare three scenarios:

I wouldn't. I can't just pump and dump. Ain't my style. Also, I could never lead someone on like that. I'm capable of it, but I'd never do it. Because I wouldn't want it done to me.

a) If she was a bitch, and I didn't have a problem with ONS's, I'd pump and dump her. But I still wouldn't lie to her that I love her or promise a relationship. I'd be clear with my intentions, or at least not say that I'd give her more than what I'm willing to.

b) If she's a single mom, she has different problems, I'm out.

c) Too cruel, couldn't do it. It would break me from the inside.

DangZagnut · 2020-08-07T18:48:23+00:00

I don't date at all, but if I did:

A hot girl wants your dick, but has an SO. Would you? What if she is married?

Don't care, dating married women is pretty much the standard operation past a certain age.

SO? Apparently he's not that significant.

A girl is looking for a serious relationship, and you lead her on a bit to get in her pants a few times while saying you love her, then ghost.

I wouldn't be leading her on, I have zero problem with a serious relationship, but it's on my terms. It still ends after 6 mos. though.

She’s really sexy but a bit crazy and you dislike her personality. Maybe she is a bit of a bitch. Ok to pump and dump?

Well they're all crazy, so that's par for the course. Pump and dump? I'd just end the relationship when it no longer benefitted me.

You think she wants you to commit for access to your resources. She heard you have a good job. Maybe she is a single mother. You want a piece of that hot ass but don’t want to support another man’s children. That goldigging whore deserves to get curved.

Like craziness, all women are like that, and once the sex gets stale, I'd just end the relationship, right about the time they start chasing money, which is day 1. So give her a few weeks to attempt her exploitation routines, then be out of town for business in the Caribbean for a few months.

She is a naive sweetheart and romantic who doesn’t realize you are a ruthless redpilled fuckboi gaming and using her. Feel any guilt in this scenario?

Nope, she knows the relationship will end in 6 months, there's no reason to lie to her.

How many here can say they act purely in their own self interest?

I act purely out of self interest, just like everyone else. I just don't have to lie to girls, as they know what the deal is. They can leave any time they want, I'm quite clear as to my objectives.

SeriousGreyBread · 2020-08-07T19:15:12+00:00

Guy here:

1.

I don't consider this immoral per se. Women have agency and i would't feel bound by any obligation to random guys to ensure they don't get cheated on. Its still a bad idea due to the reasons you stated and i would feel disgusting having sex with someone who is willing to inflict this kind of pain on someone (also you can't trust opportunists).

2.

I consider lying to people immoral and eventually a moot effort. I am usually able to have sex with women without saying that i am in love with them. Looking for a serious relationship is often a front for not being slutshamed and i think it's pretty normal to have sex before dicussing if you want to enter a serious relationship or saying the l-word.

Workaholiconew · 2020-08-07T19:53:43+00:00

TRP is the group with a goal of efficiency and efficacy by a consequentialist ethics, The Blue pill with a goal of morality and image with a deontological ethics.

You may use whatever pill you want, with whatever goal you wish, with whatever ethics you want. But the group as a whole has a 'more used' idea.

A hot girl wants your dick, but has an SO. Would you? What if she is married?

if you are concerned about inflicting pain unto another man.

Nope, I am not concerned for him that much, I am concerned for myself. I do not wish to bring misfortune to others if I can. But I CERTAINLY do not want to bring problems to myself.

2: A girl is looking for a serious relationship, and you lead her on a bit to get in her pants a few times while saying you love her, then ghost. Would you?

Nope.

Nor should most TRP men. TRP sidebar, "All-in-one red pill 101" link, subsection "plate spinning" says "Be honest, never imply exclusivity".

Since I implanted this policy, too many headaches seem to have disappeared. Honesty really is the best policy in this aspect.

FDS, TBP and others say too much that TRP tries to mislead women... but no, we are very clear. It is women who mislead themselves thinking that they can change our ideas or that we showed interest in the idea in some unrelated behavior instead of our words.

ruthless redpilled fuckboi

ruthless redpilled fuckboi... really? cringeness aside is that how you see us? we are just normal guys who have some fuckbuddies, ONS and FwBs. We just do not want relationships as a primary goal, our goal is sex. We are only as ruthless and as red pilled and as fuckboi enough to be sexually satisfied. We are not malevolent nor we say we are 'red pilled'. First rule of the fight club. For everyone else, we are normal men (and lesbian women).

c: She is a naive sweetheart and romantic who quickly becomes attached but doesn’t realize you are a ruthless redpilled fuckboi gaming and using her as just another plate. Feel any guilt in this scenario?

Unlike the other 2 if she is really a naive sweetheart and romantic person I may rethink her value and see if she has what it takes to be a good relationship partner. I like those for dating. I just don't go out of my way to find one. They are too rare, I do not see the point of looking for it.

Sure, I would push her a bit more to put it in their head that I am not a boyfriend or husband material... but if they insist they want just a STR or some sexual relationship... for me it is just fine, after all, even naive romantic sweethearts want to have a sex every now and them too... and I am too happy to serve. And hey, I may even consider their offer for relationship thing. I am not stupid enough to disregard such good offer falling on my lap.

Contrary to popular belief, most TRP men would be fine with long term relationships... they just find it too hard to find someone worth the trouble, so they don't spend resources looking for it. they are so rare, we call them unicorns. I met only a dozen or so women who are clearly worth having a relationship with. Almost all of them already married and with children. I still didn't find any for myself, unfortunately.

Title	Does your morality affect your implementation of Dating Strategy?
Author	ihatejanniiiiiies
Upvotes	8
Comments	67
Date	August 7, 2020 6:42 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/i5jfxo/does_your_morality_affect_your_implementation_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-your-morality-affect-your-implementation-of.722716 https://theredarchive.com/post/722716

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