Having Standards is a Good Thing

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-06-10T13:42:20+00:00

Removed for OP abandonment

yungthrowaway97 · 2021-06-10T07:43:18+00:00

Anyone can have high standards if they want. But age absolutely catches up with us all. And I promise it is easy to say you are fine being single when you are in your 20s but as people age their friends are off with families, parents start dying, and most end up trying to find someone out of loneliness. Everyone feels invincible when they are young, until age humbles you. This applies to both men and women.

bloodthirsty_emu · 2021-06-10T09:46:18+00:00

The thing is though that a lot of what people call "standards" are actually not anything of the sort but rather being intolerant and judging others on things they can't control.

No one is entitled to a date etc. and having standards is a good thing. You want a reasonably fit/healthy person, with good hygiene, isn't hateful etc. etc - fantastic - those are standards, things a large number of people can achieve with a little work, pride and self respect.

But that isn't what women are doing (note: men do this too but generally to a lesser extent + this is easier to express from my perspective / experiences). Instead, they're refusing to even think of talking to, let alone dating, a guy because he's too short, has lost his hair young, isn't muscular enough etc., any number of things which the guy simply cannot change.

That's not having standards - it's being judgemental and intolerant. Even offensive, particularly as it often involves judging people based on medical conditions (for context I went bald at 16 due to illness and have never even had anyone show the slightest physical attraction, I'm usually dismissed as an option on sight alone and in more extreme cases actually abused).

So, it's fine to have standards, but that's not why men are lonely / complaining. We get pissed because we meet any reasonable standards but are still told that we're not good enough, or not worth dating, based on unchangeable physical characteristics. On the flip side, as a result we've lowered our standards to essentially don't be hateful and don't be obese, and get called all sorts of names if we even try to maintain those!

No one is saying women have to date people they're not attracted to or anything, but really people should be more open minded instead of making snap judgements on looks alone.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-06-10T06:38:36+00:00

Of course it is, I'm just going to clown people who have ridiculously high standards while not bringing much to the table to match the kind of person they want lol

Dirty_Purity · 2021-06-10T10:31:48+00:00

Having standards is a great thing. Having ridiculously high standards AND blaming others that they do not fit them is not so great thing.

DownvoteMe2021 · 2021-06-10T07:56:45+00:00

This seems to be a fundamental misunderstanding of game theory to me, and given that men typically play more war games than women, it doesn't surprise me.

Men and Women objectively have a goal as a species, to reproduce. Every single man or woman who chooses to (or doesn't choose to) die alone is a failure, whether society tells them they're special or not, as their genetics don't pass on, so those decisions likely don't pass on. This is why there aren't more gay people, because those genes literally don't' reproduce a the same rate heterosexuals reproduce at.

So, here we have this modern dilemma where we have two parties, men and women. Women are no longer accepting input from men about the rules of the game, and are instead dictating that the rules are now harder, but only for the men, and the rules make it specifically much better to be a woman. This is all fine, as they say, as long as you can keep it.

In turning away from and vilifying men, women are actively encouraging men to vote (with fists or ballots) to strip women of all power. Why? Because if you have an enemy that won't negotiate, you're left with nothing BUT a fight for dominance. The movement itself has already begun to eat its own tail in vilifying feminist men, so not only can men not win if they disagree, they can't win if they agree. There is no winning for men. This is what modern feminism has taught us, whether the same 3 feminists on PPD want to admit it or not.

So, having standards isn't necessarily a bad thing, but having standards that discludes a vast portion of one demographic is probably a problem. It is generally speaking a better idea to have enough cooperation to keep at least slightly more than the majority of any demographic complacent.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2021-06-10T07:07:35+00:00

Why would I settle when I’m prepared to do the work to find something great

I hope you truly are. Most FDSers think they're already great. Hint: they aren't. Not saying you do this btw.

I think settling is a bad thing for the settled for person as well as the settler. People should be alone rather than settling.

superlurkage · 2021-06-10T05:58:00+00:00

People who are desperate resent the not-desperate

NarniaFox · 2021-06-10T05:40:51+00:00

I think people who have problems with it assume that dating anyone is better than being single. The issue is that it isn't true for a lot of us and there are enough people who'd opt out from dating if they weren't able to find a compatible partner.

And there are also people who aren't okay with others (especially women) opting out, because it leaves them with less options. Some also get triggered by others' standards because they personally don't fit them and this alone makes these standards "unreasonable".

taapy234 · 2021-06-10T06:48:11+00:00

The problem is not that having standards is bad.

The problem here is unreasonable standards and impossible to achieve standards are bad.

So we end up working towards being the best version of ourselves.

That never happens in reality. I tried really hard and hard and nearly gave up dating altogether at 26 or 27 before my natural life experience helped me over the past 3 years.

The best version of my current self is incredibly redpilled. Women have collectively decided that they only want the best and nothing more, so I no longer date women my age because... I too only want the best (young) women.

If social darwinism is what you want, then have at it. I will change my behavior to suit this expectation from women. Don't expect me to support any feminine causes. Don't ask me to vote for the party you support to raise taxes to help women in any way shape or form. Don't expect me to save women in any way shape or form. Lets all be social darwinists and may the toughest one of us 'wins.'

peteypete78 · 2021-06-10T07:05:58+00:00

Why would I settle when I’m prepared to do the work to find something great?

It isn't about having standards its about having unreasonable standards.

If a 3/10 man making 30k said he will only date a model making 100k he will rightly get laughed at.

If a 3/10 women making 30k says she wants a handsome man making 100k thats considered ok.

Trouble is there are a lot more of the women doing this than men.

ToughAnswers · 2021-06-10T05:33:38+00:00

All lawful preferences are valid,

So we end up working towards being the best version of ourselves.

That's a very happy sounding reason. No one should settle. It's mediocre, and it makes the settlor and settlee both miserable in the end.

Yet there is a discrepancy in the mainstream messaging such that women are free to state any and all preferences while men are not free to state any. (MUh MisOgYnY and ObjEcTiFiCatIoN)

Such a discrepancy means the mainstream puts men in the position of livestock to be unilaterally evaluated.

Mondholm · 2021-06-10T07:04:11+00:00

Men have standards and they get shamed for it and get called misognists.

Women have standards and it's empowerment.

The problem isnt the standards but the double standards.

PickleLine · 2021-06-10T05:55:29+00:00

So why should women settle?

for a happier and better society.

There is decreasing marginal utility of dates and sex. Chads get less utility out of every additional date and lay they get compared to men who struggle to get dates and sex, so to maximize overall happiness of society, women should equally distribute dates and sex instead of concentrating on the few men who don't get much utility from it.

Women's high standards in general also force men to waste too much time and effort to become competitive to get what most people consider an important life need. Women should be easy to get dates and sex from, so men can use their time and effort for more important things than jumping through women's arbitrary hoops.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-06-10T06:23:57+00:00

I think that outlook is mostly restricted to the type of man who'd go on Reddit to bitch about not getting laid, anyway. The men I know offline have comparable standards and would rather be single than with a woman who doesn't meet them. I know my own partner is definitely like this.

What's more interesting is that none of the men bitching are, IMHO, as good as they seem to think they are. Whether someone is "average" has nothing to do with standards. If a majority of men are shitty, a majority of men are shitty. The threshold for not being shitty doesn't move for the purpose of keeping a certain percentage not shitty.

Conservitard9824 · 2021-06-10T07:45:55+00:00

Absolutely.

The problem is all women are expecting 6/6/6 when only like 10% of the male population meets that requirement, your setting yourself up for failure if your not able to bring enough to the table.

Me, calling that out, doesn't mean I disagree with women having standards, its me saying that the standards just statistically impossible for the overwhelming majority of men to accomplish. You can't change your height or your dick size. But guys don't get cry about societal beauty standards like women do.

Puzzleheaded_Bet7294 · 2021-06-10T07:13:43+00:00

Ok but what about unrealistic height standard, and wanting only the tallest 14% of guys? How do you improve height?

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thatguyfromrichmond · 2021-06-10T06:44:31+00:00

Eh, standards are fine and men need to raise theres, just you know lets have realistic standards, nothing that is insanely limiting. A good standard to have is I want a man decently taller then me, a bad standard is my partner must be over 6 feet tall, ok so you gonna reject brad pitt then?

ArtNo6372 · 2021-06-10T08:03:04+00:00

settling is the worst idea ever. it just leads to unhappiness.

rich_man_88 · 2021-06-10T08:47:15+00:00

Everyone wants to be a millionaire. But will everyone turn into one?

SilentFroggy · 2021-06-10T11:03:52+00:00

Yes but a lot of people think they’re entitled to those “high standards”.

PoliticsIsBroken · 2021-06-10T12:13:53+00:00

The problem isn't standards, but double standards, hypocrisy, and gaslighting

TheDevilPutD · 2021-06-10T13:25:52+00:00

If women had standards then the standard PPD incel crowd would have no chance. That's what they are crying about.

Title	Having Standards is a Good Thing
Author	CamelToeCarla
Upvotes	5
Comments	153
Date	June 10, 2021 5:29 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/nwfxw6/having_standards_is_a_good_thing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/having-standards-is-a-good-thing.781786 https://theredarchive.com/post/781786

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