How do I date low self worth/ low self esteem/ daddy issues girls?

rmadoff · 2022-07-28T15:15:07+00:00

And I'm asking this question on both sides.   Firstly, what's the right way a man should treat these types of women? or...

[–]AstronautLoveShackSuccubus Demon whose every motive is pure evil 33 points34 points35 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Gold-Performance-536 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ahandtoyourdarknessx 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Financial_Leave4411 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]WaffleBurner96Red Pill Woman 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Financial_Leave4411 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]WaffleBurner96Red Pill Woman 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki96 29 points30 points31 points 4 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

[–]deste_eloise 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki96 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki96 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]TryLambdaRed Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki96 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]NotARussianBot1984Proud Simp for sluts, 30M, stating my life experiences 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SoopaHottWhat dat mouf do? 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]deste_eloise 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh yeah. Your boy fell down the rabbit hole.

I also got to I can bang any woman but I also can't get women to sleep with me. And asking a woman to Netflix and chill is being manipulative because it's not about watching a movie. The constant jumping to other subs asking if it helped them get women (postgrad) and how he killed people before. The anger of women not being empathetic to saying no was mad weird. Like saying that's why guys go nuts and go to violence? What?!

Look, I'm a totally toxic/misogynistic on some shit, but reading this hurt my soul. Like I looked at my shorty and asked for a hug lol. Real talk.

Dude really was telling chicks he'd trade dope for pussy. BRUH! Hot chicks who do heroin? That's an oxymoron.

He said some off brand shit about Mexicans and La Raza but I'm going to take the personal for a specific reason lol.

I knew better, you told me it was horrible and I still went in. I can't be mad at you. I did it to myself. After reading this, I'm about to go get right with the Lord.

[–]Peacesquad 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]kittenated 23 points24 points25 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]Gold-Performance-536 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki96 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]NockerJoePervert Palpatine 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki96 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki96 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]lostwanderer28 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki96 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]generalmanifest 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]mackenzie013_02 15 points16 points17 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]berrypsycho 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]labtech89 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Flightlessbirbz 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]mustbepurged 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Nihi1986 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 4 years ago* (26 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (24 children) | Copy Link

[–]baresquad 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

[–]eyesayhello 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]baresquad 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]eyesayhello 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (10 children) | Copy Link

Well, I spent upwards of 80k in court over 10 years fighting my ex for custody. She abandoned them completely for years and I was the sole parent to young children. When she showed back up it was solely because 1) her image was tarnished as a mother without custody and 2) she was broke and needed money. The kids were a meal ticket to get child support.

Then, she did a lot of very dirty things to complicate the parenting plan, take advantage of my leniency and love for my children, alienated* them from me, etc.

Now that my kids are adults were still have good relationships. We're getting together this weekend to spend the day together doing a hobby we all enjoy.

Shitty mothers exist just like shitty fathers exist. Abusive women exist just like abusive men exist. Women and men can both be violent and/or alcoholics.

The court system still favors mothers over men. This has been discussed a hundred times in this sub and doesn't need to be rehashed again. Just use the sub's search feature.

[–]baresquad 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]eyesayhello 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Therefore, we need to find out the "why.l

Was he an alcoholic during marriage or did he become one after divorce trying to cope with the pain of the loss of his kids, the turmoil and emotional trauma of family court, etc.

Some dads do just walk about. A lot do their best to stay and are tormented in the process. A lot of dad's find dealing with their ex so unbearable that they give up.

Would you classify any of these as "shitty dads?" A man might be a great father in the family unit and then change dramatically after divorce for various reasons. The adversarial family court system is designed to pit the mother and father against each other and it needs to change.

I'd advise watching this for a crash course on family court and the devastation it can bring if just one parent is vindictive and unreasonable.

[–]baresquad 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

Therefore, we need to find out the "why.l

Well, ok but I already know the why? And I certainly don't feel like I need to understand any deeper the character of men who mistreated women that I've dated.

A lot do their best to stay and are tormented in the process. A lot of dad's find dealing with their ex so unbearable that they give up.

Would you classify any of these as "shitty dads?"

Well I guess if you know these women dad's better than I admittedly don't, then I guess. Not sure how that applies when, as I already said, that was never the case.

Not one ever said "yeah my dad tried his best but was tormented in the process." Does it happen, sure, but still not the topic here.

for a crash course on family court

Lol never expect empathy, especially in the courtroom from an attorney. Seeing how hysterical men get in the hallway on the family court floor in courtrooms is my crash course. While I feel for you and your situation my initial thought on your last comment was "damn I bet her lawyer got paid."

Either way the big takeaway here is that one parent being vindictive and unreasonable was never the case in those girls I dated situations. Had it been, I would've never initially made the comment that their dad's are terrible people. A conclusion I'm comfortably able to reach that conclusion because I already know why.

You're creating hypothetical why's which just don't apply to the situation at hand at all.

[–]eyesayhello 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]baresquad1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]eyesayhello1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]baresquad1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]eyesayhello1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]WaffleBurner96Red Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]eyesayhello 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]baresquad 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki96 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]DerekMorganBAUMrs. Degree's Side Piece -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki96 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]DerekMorganBAUMrs. Degree's Side Piece 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki96 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Findings from the ABS Personal Safety Survey (2005) indicated that of participants who had experienced physical abuse before the age of 15, 55.6% experienced abuse from their father/stepfather and 25.9% experienced abuse from their mother/stepmother. A further 13.7% experienced abuse from another known person and the remainder were family friends, other relatives, or strangers (ABS, 2005).

Hmmmmm

https://aifs.gov.au/resources/policy-and-practice-papers/who-abuses-children

Weird, found some other surveys too. When accounting for the differences in numbers of single moms vs two parent or single dad households, men are actually more responsible for abuse. Women just are the primary caregivers so obviously if there's way more women taking care of kids than men, then women would be responsible for most abuse.

But men are far more likely to severely injure or kill a child when you actually know statistics and what you're talking about

YOU and men like you need to do better research my Boi

[–]heartheartdoki96 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

triggered you,

"You replied and I didn't like the fashion so I'm going to insist you're triggered" again the very language you're using lol

Well now a woman is telling you that it's gross and creepy how red pill men are obsessed with labeling women as having daddy issues. If YOU are deciding they have daddy issues, you're gross and creepy. If they're labeling themselves that way, id evaluate if you think they identify with that or if they're saying it as a joke.

Second of all, if a woman tells you she has past trauma, be trauma informed. Do basic research on trauma and how to be with somebody who has it. Avoid their triggers. Be extremely nice and encourage them to work on their own mental health regularly. Encourage them to have hobbies and be independent from you.

Women are people. Weird, I know. So really, ask yourself: if I had a best friend or family member who was mentally ill with trauma, what would I do?

Or better yet! "If i was mentally ill and traumatized, deeply hurt, how would I want peolle to treat me"

Also you literally asked "what abuse shoukd men avoid" like all of it?? Don't treat any woman better or worse becauee of her mental illness and history?? Avoid ALL abuse and manipulation? Like?

Or are you asking us to teach you what's abusive in general?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki96 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I think people use the label because it accurately describes behaviour.

No. The history of the word is rooted in sexism and anti feminism. Like men with mommy issues are just good sons usually. Women labeled with daddy issues is any woman with dyed hair who isn't into traditional gender roles. That's how red pill uses it and how most sexists use it

But many times manipulative and abusive guys don't see themselves as such.

You should be doing actual research if you're worried about being abusive. Not listening to strangers online. Like listen to the professionals who study abuse. And If you wanna know what abuse women go through, lurk in a woman's forum and L.I.S.T.E.N. like as an adult man, you should know how to properly research info.

The body keeps the score. Great book on trauma. Lots of great Ted talks on trauma and the impact of childhood and relationship abuse. Lots of psychologists who specialize In that on tiktok and YouTube alone. Like these are all much better resources than reddit and especially a red pill forum. Like?

[–]RearwindowPinecone3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Bekiala 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]errrright 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Novadina 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]FineDevelopment00👻The PPD ghost, making ice cubes🧊 in Hell😈🔥 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]localmicrodosechamp 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]NationalistGoyRed Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]AbbreviationsHot1200 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]WaffleBurner96Red Pill Woman 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (44 children) | Copy Link

Women with daddy issues either go for leader + provider types, if they are seeking men to replace the absent or damaged relationship with their fathers, or “bad boy” types, as a means of rebellion against fathers that are either too controlling or don’t care enough about them. Typically the men they go for will be older than they are.

They will crave attention, validation, and a sense of love and safety, which can be weaponized against them by bad men (dark triad men), utilized by neutral men to “train” them into better partners(standard TRPers), or recognized and provided by good men to create a nurturing and stable relationship for them (Captain Save a Hoes or bloopies.)

Typically the red pill strategy is to withdraw attention, affection, and validation when the woman they’re with is perceived to be “misbehaving,” and lavishing it when she is behaving in a way that is pleasing. Women without daddy issues are more likely to catch onto this tactic and either call the men using them out, or end the relationship.

[–]DerekMorganBAUMrs. Degree's Side Piece -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (40 children) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki96 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (34 children) | Copy Link

[–]Nihi1986 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki96 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]Nihi1986 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki96 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]Nihi1986 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki96 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Cults aren't all about death lol. Like you're the one intentionally misinterpreting what a cult is and trying to use rhe most extreme to say its a cult. Most Mormons aren't laying their lives down, but experts all agree thay the little house on the prairie Mormons are a cult.

Red pill absolutely recruits, like you guys go around being like "check out MGOOTW, and red pill, listen to this PUA" like absolutely they do. Cults aren't about asking for money either, thats not an end all be all

Red pill absolutely encourages and guides people towards isolation. Red pill literally tells men "the world is lying to you, everyone knows that what we say is right but they deny it. Every average male is likely a cuck who has a dead bedroom and you are competing against all men and you can't trust women to tell you the truth because most of them are liars" like red pill absolutely teaches men that they are alone and they can't trust men or women unless they agree red pill ideas are right. It absolutely tells people that if somebody denies red pill "truths" fhey are feminists with brain rot or white knight beta cucks. That is absolutely what they do.

And you're here right now telling me I shouldn't trust experts, professionals, almost all of them, because they're just product of our modern culture?? Like? You are doing it right now, part of isolation is telling peolle not to trust major sources of reliable info. You can't trust science, it's been wrong before. You can't trust professionals rhey can be bought. You can't trust thousands or even millions of professionals agreeing to the same thing, because all those people are just bought out. Like you're weaving some conspiracy theory right now to tell me why I shouldn't trust professionals and instead your judgment on what is and is not a cult is superior

Lol if experts on cults can be caught why isn't literally everything labeled a cult by professionals? Goddamn your arguments make no sense.

And by your logic, nazis absolutely are a cult like what the fuck? They absolutely were willing to die and expected others to. They controlled thoughts and actions. They policed your daily life and expressions. They definitely asked people to turn on their families. They absolutely controlled property to some degree. Like? What would you say makes nazis NOT a cult??

[–]Nihi1986 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki961 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Nihi19862 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki961 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Nihi19860 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki961 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Nihi19861 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Well, I don't call kids or anyone any mean words, in fact I care so much about them I became a teacher 12 years ago but I get your point. I still wouldn't call it a cult lightly for the reason that labeling things with such strong words could potentially lead to censorship and lack of thought diversity.

Of course that doesn't mean I'd aprove all sort of philosophies or trends, I recognize the manosphere in general can be toxic and many of its individuals can be radical. We just seem to put a different weight on it.

It's fine if you want to believe what the experts say, better than listening to youtube experts recording from their basements...(also smarter than believing me, I guess) I'm just very critical with everyone, you know, sensationalism and political agendas...I don't trust most people. That's just how I see it. Regarding TRP and the manosphere I spent way too much time there (over a year, everyday, until I realized the way it was affecting me) so I consider myself someone who knows a lot about it. I can see the cult alike language and mindset in those places but I think it's more like an echo chamber like most places where people gather to agree with each other instead of discussing, though TRP has plenty of discussion specially compared to mgtow.

To an extent I can agree with how you see it but then I'd have to consider cults too many places on the internet like progresists, conservatives (everything politics), vegans, feminists and even certain fandoms...

[–]DerekMorganBAUMrs. Degree's Side Piece -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki96 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]DerekMorganBAUMrs. Degree's Side Piece -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki96 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]WaffleBurner96Red Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki96 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

I actually used the wrong term

Stonewalling is what I meant. Stonewalling is when a partner shuts down with the goal of hurting you. So like if you ask your partner "hey what do you want for dinner" and they stare through you. We all shut down sometimes when things get stressful, but Stonewalling is repeated and don't in a punishing fashion. So like red pillersbliterally give each other tips like "when my girlfriend is overly excited and annoying, I just shut down so she knows I do not care about what she's talking about and I want her to go away". They'll tell men to stonewall their women to "keep them in check and on the hook"

Gray rocking is a way to cope with narcissistic abuse typically, like basically if somebody is verbally attacking you or negging and whatnot, gray rocking is where you intentionally shut down and give neutral responses so the person will get bored and leave you alone. So kinda like stonewalling, but don't in reaction to abuse

[–]WaffleBurner96Red Pill Woman -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for the explanation. Ig there are various degrees of stonewalling. Like I would never recommend to anyone to completely ignore their partner if they’re being annoying— that’s childish and gonna end your relationship real fast. But I think just reducing the amount of attention and affection you give your partner when they’re behaving in a way you don’t like is super effective. Just like, taking your temperature down a few degrees and being a bit colder.

I have self-described daddy issues and absolutely hate if my husband goes colder towards me; I usually scramble to figure out what’s wrong and if it’s my fault. I don’t think he does it on purpose, but he’s definitely at least aware he could do this. I also use this on my husband when I’m really pissed off… we both have codependency issues lol.

[–]heartheartdoki96 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]WaffleBurner96Red Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki96 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

People don’t like being criticized, and are often likely to resist changing if directly asked to do so.

Those people are not people you can have a healthy relationship with then lol

When you become colder in response to things you don’t like, the other person is conditioned to change subconsciously.

So just manipulate becauee being an adult is harder

Your boyfriend and you are stuck in the child parent dynamic of relationships. You withhold affection to pressure your partner into changing, becauee you know they're emotionally dependent and too unhealthy to act like adults.

Not something I'd say works or I'd recommend. Again. One of the number one signs of divorce is frequent stonewalling to communicate. Because it's fuckinf exhausting, and it only works when you're already a mentally ill person who responds to abuse tactics, so when you just poke an insecure person over and over its going to cause resentment eventually.

Because reality is, you forgive that person when they grovel and say they'll change. You're looking for direct communication from them when you are being passive aggressive and vice versa.

I'm glad you guys are happy now. I think if you keep it up one of you is bound to get pissed and leave or allow their resentment to make them more toxic.

[–]WaffleBurner96Red Pill Woman -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Those people are not people you can have a healthy relationship with then lol

It’s literally every person. Nobody likes criticism.

So just manipulate because being an adult is harder

No, it accomplishes things that you can’t always do with open BP communication, as well as saves you time and energy you would spend criticizing and potentially arguing with your partner.

*Husband, not boyfriend. I think we’re fine. Like I said, it’s a last resort for when the situation is serious and I need him to put his ego aside for a second and listen. Then we communicate effectively.

When red pillers use this method, they’re not looking for the person to grovel and verbally, directly communicate with their indirect communication. The result is that the other person just changes. Nothing is actually discussed.

[–]heartheartdoki961 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

literally every person. Nobody likes criticism.

And nobody likes stonewalling. But we see that relationships with healthy communication are way less likely to end than those that utilize stonewalling. So..obviously...people like stonewalling less than adult conversations

I'm glad it works for you but you literally said you're both codependent and you respond bexause you panic and think of what you did wrong. This technique "works" because it preys on insecurities

I'm glad you utilize this known abuse tactic sparingly and only when you feel your partner deserves it.vmakes it better

Like bro, do what you want. I'm not going to agree with you that stonewalling is good. You sound like a parent that's insisting their kids actually do better being hit. Go ahead and stonewall

Red pillers recommend stonewalling because they want control. Again. Known fucking abuse tactic. You saying "yeah but it works" like?? Nobody healthy recommends something they know is unhealthy. Like most people who are anorexic loose some kind of Weight. That doesn't mean eating disorders "work".

[–]WaffleBurner960 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Meh. I don’t need your judgement and moralizing. I don’t care if you think it’s “good” or not; I’m explaining to you how and why it works, because it seems like you have some misconceptions about it.

Giving someone less attention and affection when they’re irritating you isn’t abusive. It’s not comparable to eating disorders; it’s like people doing something like intermittent fasting to manipulate the number of calories they’re taking in order to affect change in their weight. People subconsciously withdraw attention all the time, even within platonic or professional relationships or with strangers. If you don’t like it, you can just leave the person. Most of the time, if you’re employing it correctly and subtly, the other person doesn’t even notice.

RP does enable men to have more control within their relationship. In the modern day, when women tend to have all the power in relationships and walk all over men, this is a good thing.

[–]heartheartdoki961 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]WaffleBurner961 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Nobody should use it to decrease somebody’s excitement over something. That’s messed up. It would be useful if, for instance, you get home from work everyday and your wife instantly runs up to you and starts talking a mile a minute about her day, and you need a minute to decompress yourself. In this instance, if you directly ask her to give you some space when you first get home, she might get huffy and accuse you of not caring about her feelings and call you all kinds of names. (is that a mature response? Of course not.) So when that happens, what you do is you come home, give her one word answers, and physically move away from her until you’ve had your decompression time. If she hugs you, give her a rub on the back or a pat on the arm, but don’t give her a big hug back. Eventually she’ll stop rushing you as soon as you get home, and then you start having your decompression time, and then immediately afterwards you go to her, give her a hug, l ask her about her day, listen intently, and respond enthusiastically. She will gradually be conditioned to wait, because she gets more attention and affection when she lets you have a minute. Things like that.

When I use it, it might be for something like Hubby spending all his time on the weekend working on his fish tank or browsing fish auctions, and not so ending enough time with myself and our daughter. If I try to talk to him about it and he gives me attitude, I say “ok.” And then I get very neutral with him. I don’t initiate conversations, I respond with short, necessary responses, I don’t give him physical affection, and I don’t initiate sex. Usually within a couple of hours, he’s willing to listen to me and make compromises. We’ll figure out a way he can maximize the time he spends with his family, while still getting his hobby in another time or in a more time effective way.

[–]heartheartdoki961 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

she might get huffy and accuse you of not caring about her feelings and call you all kinds of names. (is that a mature response? Of course not.)

Thats abuse and you should leave. If you counter an abuser with manipulation, that's just a mutually abusive dynamic. But okay, tell me more relationship guru.

Like the situation you described could easily be solved with one conversation of "hey when I get home from work I need like 45 minutes to myself, please and thank you, is there anything you'd like me to do to make that okay for you".

The situation you described also absolutely fits the whole "using it to decrease somebody's excitement". Like if your partner wss rushing to complain that's one thing..but if you just do it every time your partner rushes to greet you?? They're greeting you excitedly because they love you and are happy. So yeah, you absolutely support using it to decrease excitement. I think I'd rather have a simple "I love you so much and I appreciate the time you give me and share with me, but when I get home from work I'm so stressed and it would help me a lot mentally to have 30 minutes to cool off, can we do that?" And here's the thing: you can have this conversation at a different time than when they're greeting you. Meaning it doesn't gotta be a confrontation

Treating your partner like an animal because you're too scared to communicate is fucked up. No amount of you explaining it will change that.

Yeah sounds like you definitely use toxic tactics to get your way. Like "sometimes he doesn't do what I want, so for several hours I'll shut down until he comes to me asking what's wrong and seeing if I wanna talk". Yeah that's absolutely unhealthy. I'm glad you guys are happy. Both of you are definitely emotionally immature if that's how you resolve issues.

You already said you don't care about my judgement. I already told you I don't care about your reasoning. What you're doing is absolutely not healthy. The fact you guys need to do that to each other to get a response shows a basic lack of respect.

Healthy partnerships include regularly checking in too, like "hey anything I can do to help you? Anhthing on your mind you wanna talk about" and you can express it then. If you and your partner aren't there...work on it

[–]WaffleBurner960 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Like I said, some people don’t respond well to normal requests. They have a hard time seeing past their own feelings to their partners. Both the man and the woman in that situation have needs— the man to decompress, and the woman to talk about her day. The conditioning I described is one way to get both people’s needs met when one isn’t willing to compromise for the other.

It’s not to diminish her excitement; it’s to let the man get into the proper frame of mind where he can reciprocate her energy and be an active listener. She can be as excited as she wants in 10 minutes or so, and that is better for both of them because otherwise neither person would get their needs met.

When I become colder, it’s not just “to get my way.” It’s to make it so he’s willing to work on finding a solution so that both of our needs can be met. When I say, “you’ve spent a lot of time on your fish today. I would like it if we spent more time as a family,” and he hears “You’re not allowed to play with your stupid fish. Stop being an asshole and pay attention to me,” and that’s where his attitude-laden response is coming from, we are not in the correct space to communicate properly. Then I withdraw, he thinks, “shit, I messed up,” and then he comes to me and we work it out like people. He finds time to do his hobby when it doesn’t interfere with our available time together, or we take a ride to the fish store as a family. Something like that.

We also check in with each other like you describe. Sometimes the mild stonewalling communicates to us that we’re not considering the other person’s needs and feelings, and reminds us what it would be like if we let that go on.

It’s far from abusive.

[–]heartheartdoki961 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Nihi1986 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]WaffleBurner96Red Pill Woman 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]WaffleBurner96Red Pill Woman -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]todo_pasa_up yours woke moralists -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]DerekMorganBAUMrs. Degree's Side Piece 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]todo_pasa_up yours woke moralists 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]DerekMorganBAUMrs. Degree's Side Piece 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]todo_pasa_up yours woke moralists 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]WaffleBurner96Red Pill Woman 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]todo_pasa_up yours woke moralists 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RRBeachFG2 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Nihi1986 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Im_The_Daiquiri_Man -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Purple317 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Im_The_Daiquiri_Man 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]deznue -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ruboyuri -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]beautifultomatillo2 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ahandtoyourdarknessx 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]todo_pasa_up yours woke moralists 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ahandtoyourdarknessx 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lysa_Bellpost wall ghost 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ganajin 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki96 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]Bruce_Hale -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki96 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Bruce_Hale -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

You guys literally scream when women say "most men all want sex and don't respect women" and now you're literally saying that's true 100%

The first part is true and nobody would really dispute it. The second part is just your typical nonsense thrown in.

Men can only want sex and still respect women.

And looking through your last comments, you literalky try to fucking cry about how women label men poorly and most guys are good guys and women are actually the mean users. And now you're literally sayinf "no most men don't know empathy or human respect, they just lie to get what they want"

Huh? What are you talking about?

Men want sex. That's why they approach women.

Somehow you think wanting sex and approaching women means they don't respect them.

That's some silly shit that you believe for whatever reason.

[–]heartheartdoki96 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Bruce_Hale -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki96 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Bruce_Hale 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ahandtoyourdarknessx 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ahandtoyourdarknessx -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]beautifultomatillo2 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ahandtoyourdarknessx 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]WaffleBurner96Red Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]heartheartdoki96 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ahandtoyourdarknessx -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Title	How do I date low self worth/ low self esteem/ daddy issues girls?
Author	rmadoff
Upvotes	0
Comments	148
Date	July 28, 2022 3:15 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/wack0u/how_do_i_date_low_self_worth_low_self_esteem/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-do-i-date-low-self-worth-low-self-esteem-daddy.1125379 https://theredarchive.com/post/1125379

Comments