How would you react if you found out that your boyfriend/husband is using pills for ED?

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-11-23T00:58:32+00:00

He does use these from time to time. He's diabetic, takes antidepressants, and has a history of cancer so he occasionally needs a boost. I handle his meds so I know what he takes. If for some reason he felt the need to hide that he was using ED meds, I would just reassure him that I love him, that I don't mind, and that we can do whatever we need to keep the embers burning in the bedroom.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-11-23T00:54:09+00:00

uhhh my main concern would probably be heart disease

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-11-23T01:09:39+00:00

I would feel sad he felt he couldn’t talk to me about it.

I would try and gently talk to him see if there is anything I can be going to support him

CimZim · 2022-11-23T01:00:38+00:00

First I'd be super concerned about his heart and/or blood pressure. Like, that shit has warnings, my dude. He's in his 50s, don't need to be tempting fate please.

Secondly I'd be wondering why he would ever think he'd need to hide it. A lot of the sex we already have isn't reliant on piv, and I love giving oral when he starts off soft. Fucking hot, that.

But yeah, okay, if this was to ever happen, we'd talk about it and I'd do research to see if there's other things that could help whatever he's trying to accomplish instead.

Demasii · 2022-11-23T00:58:27+00:00

Pretend I don't know. If he knows that I know he may feel embarrassed.

waffleznstuff30 · 2022-11-23T01:46:11+00:00

Respect his privacy and not press him about it. If that's what he needs it's what he needs. And maybe be informed about adverse effects and stuff for his own safety. But not on about how and why.

Impotence is a really debilitating issue for men and if that helps get their confidence up frankly it's none of my business.

NJFlowerchild · 2022-11-23T10:36:14+00:00

I would be livid. Those medications can cause serious life threatening side effects that your spouse should be aware of as possibilities.

1Here4Bach · 2022-11-23T00:59:17+00:00

A healthy male my age shouldn’t need pills. If a male my age has ED he’s either overweight/has a serious disease or is not taking care of his mental health. Either way he’s not taking care of himself. I’m more put off by what causes the ED not the ED or need for pills itself.

If I was 50+ I would be singing a different tune because of the effects of naturally lower testosterone but I’m not. A male with ED who is my age is unacceptable to me.

KombuchaEnema · 2022-11-23T01:21:52+00:00

I’d lose respect because he hid something so mundane from me.

MyLastBestChance · 2022-11-23T01:55:30+00:00

Happy that he addressed something that was bothering him and sad that he felt that he had to address it by himself.

northernlights190 · 2022-11-23T04:51:34+00:00

Boners aren’t magic, bodies are complex machines, and body parts don’t always work the way you’d ideally want them to. Lots of things can cause ED. If he has medication that helps, it’s all good, not a big deal. I’d just hope he could feel open about it with me.

Apprehensive_Cut_146 · 2022-11-23T11:53:45+00:00

Depends of the reason.

Is he consuming pornography or masturbating to an exaggerate degree? Hell no, he is going directly into theraphy if he still wants to remain a married man.

Is he unanle to perform due to health issue(s) - physical or mental? We can both work for a remedy. Does he not want to look for cure, to release himself from the use of medication? Divorce.

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Novadina · 2022-11-23T01:58:41+00:00

I guess I’d be concerned about why he was hiding it, he has asked me if maybe he should consider them and I said maybe he should (but that he should also try working out), so there would be no reason to hide it from me. I’d be proud he actually went to the doctor on his own without me making him though! I probably wouldn’t have any visible reaction if I found out, if he wanted to keep it private I would just wait for him to tell me on his own.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2022-11-23T02:55:05+00:00

I’d be concerned for his overall health at his age and ask that he seek medical treatment beyond the viagra. But he would already know that, so how much I push it would depend on his reaction. We don’t keep secrets, so if he were to keep it secret I would feel the need for an intervention.

HighestTierMaslow · 2022-11-23T03:06:18+00:00

It wouldnt be a dealbreaker but I wouldnt be happy it was hidden from me.

Miserable_Yam4778 · 2022-11-23T04:48:15+00:00

Concerned for his health and a little sad that he felt like he couldn't be honest with me.

CruelAngelGradThesis · 2022-11-23T05:05:22+00:00

If that happens once we're married I'd wonder where I went wrong for him to think he has to hide that from me.

Teacup000 · 2022-11-23T06:11:48+00:00

I'd feel bad he went to such lengths to please me and that he had to hide it. It sucks to have a secret you're keeping from your spouse, it's super uncomfortable.

I don't care much about the deception. I get how sometimes we can get these irrational urges to hide things even when we still logically that it'd be better to share. Compulsion is a real bitch.

I just want us to be happy together.

Bats_are_cuter · 2022-11-23T12:33:11+00:00

I would be sad to hear that. I was seeing a fella who was able to be open about these things and ended up seeing his GP because of those conversations, and I think that's what makes relationships strong. And I've been on the other side, where I've confided something to a partner and they've gently encouraged me to see someone about it.

I wouldn't feel cross or anything but I'd be quietly concerned about the strength of our bond if we were married and they'd never been able to.

Cosima_Fan_Tutte · 2022-11-23T18:33:05+00:00

I'd immediately assume that he doesn't find me attractive anymore and feel very sad.

If he was taking pills due to health/aging, it would have a whiff of decrepitude...like, damn....winter is coming, we're no longer young.

Don't get me wrong, I'd say all the right things and do whatever we need to keep our sex life going and keep him feeling good, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a blow (obviously I'd never ever tell him that).

Additional_Speech164 · 2022-12-16T03:10:47+00:00

Happy he takes care of his health needs on his own.

Spacetalks3114 · 2022-12-20T00:05:34+00:00

I would talk to him about it and let him know that I don't think of him any differently. Because I know men are really insecure about that sort of thing. And I also know if he wasn't attracted to me he would leave me so it must be some external circumstance/depression that is making that difficult for him.

FreedomOk2196 · 2023-02-20T23:39:38+00:00

Maybe he needs them because of you. Sometimes it’s the person your with is the reason there needed. Maybe you embrace him

Title	How would you react if you found out that your boyfriend/husband is using pills for ED?
Author	AreOut
Upvotes	4
Comments	41
Date	November 22, 2022 10:50 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/z27sux/how_would_you_react_if_you_found_out_that_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-would-you-react-if-you-found-out-that-your.1144482 https://theredarchive.com/post/1144482

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