A few weeks ago someone here made the challenge to post on non RP subs posing as a man wanting a SAH wife. The claim was that there would be backlash from the community. Well I did just that, making a thread on r/relationships here and on r/dating_advice here. I got some supportive comments but also a lot of negative comments. Considering the votes it seems most people were negative on relationships but positive on dating advice. I'll quote some of the comments.
You don't want a woman who wants to stay home to be a mother to her kids, you want a woman to give up a huge chunk of her life to take care of you. You want someone to cook and clean for you so that you don't have to... You essentially want a live-in maid you can impregnate.
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This is meant as no slight to SAHMs - most SAHMs are women with previous careers, or other interests, who decide to stay at home for the kids. They have hobbies and passions and probably previous education. What I mean is that a woman who is explicitly and primarily interested in being a housewife, whose career/life goal is to take care of you and kids, is most likely not going to be the intellectually stimulating partner you are also seeking. She's probably going to be demure, with a milquetoast personality that revolves around you. What I'm trying to say nicely is that she may not be the most engaging conversationalist if she's the kind of woman whose sole desire is to be a stay at home wife. Are you okay with that?
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Do you understand why? They’d be risking their entire future on the hopes you don’t dump them for your secretary. You’re asking them to take a ginormous risk that they can’t be sure will be a good one.
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They've likely worked hard to get a job/career that they want. They've worked so they can provide for themselves and not have to be financially reliant on anyone. They've worked so they can live their lives the way they want to (e.g. if they want to save up to buy something for themselves, they can do that because it's their money that they worked for -- they don't have to get permission or worry it will be seen as "mooching" off of their husband).
Expecting them to give that up is saying that work they put in doesn't have value you to you. You're saying that your career and accomplishments matter more than hers and her only value is to bear your children and cook and clean for you (which makes me feel really bad for your mum tbh).
It's not romantic, it's misogynistic (the very fact that you were willing to throw away a woman you thought of as "the one" because she wouldn't change herself and give up her dreams for you while you made no compromises at all makes that blatantly clear).
I think that there is nothing wrong with the setup as long as everyone wants it. It's not misogynistic to want a homemaker. It's also a misrepresentation that a man wanting a homemaker is going to find a career driven, ambitious women to force into a role she hate.
That said, I do think it is a big risk for the woman. I know that a lot of people on here fear divorce rape but it's just not a smart path for the women. Sure, she can get child support but only if she gets kids. And child support isn't going to cover all the costs of a kid. It will be a financial net loss. There's alimony but she's not going to be rolling in money from that either. Financially she's going to be crippled due to not working/building a career. It's like cutting off your foot to get disability. If you want to live a minimalist lifestyle for nothing it might work. But if you actually want money it's a bad move. And it's not exactly a win for the men either, who have to shoulder the full financial burden of the family.
So, what do you think of these comments? Are you sad that men seeking homemakers get some scorn? Admittedly it's not that much scorn, particularly when you move away from r/relationships. Are you happy this tradition is falling out of style? Do you want to be/have a home maker?
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