Men love talking about the okcupid study EXCEPT the messaging distribution where it shows most men messaging 7s and up while women are still messaging the less attractive men. Why? Because it makes men look bad.

jdobrila · 2021-01-01T13:39:06+00:00

Why?

Because women send a fraction of messages men do so they're extreme outliers to begin with. Hell, for all we know literally all female messages could just be bots.

[Edit] oh fuck replied before reading the author, shame on me

beyond_relevant · 2021-01-01T15:40:46+00:00

Men love talking about the okcupid study EXCEPT the messaging distribution where it shows most men messaging 7s and up while women are still messaging the less attractive men. Why? Because it makes men look bad.

Because it is not in line with reality. Men have way easier standards for women. Who men message doesnt matter. Men shotgun message women in general.

Just because a super hot woman gets 100000 messages a day, does not negate the fact that the average woman gets 500, which is way more than even the best looking guys get.

Grave_Heresy · 2021-01-01T12:29:12+00:00

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step_aside_butch_ · 2021-01-01T12:30:53+00:00

So you're saying that women will reluctantly message men they aren't attracted to.... and very much reluctantly (and unfortunately) are willing to settle (in their view) for their actual looksmatch instead of the hot guy they really want and privately think they deserve, no awareness of what her actual league is.

... and that's suppose to make women look better?

imnotfeelingsogood69 · 2021-01-01T16:27:13+00:00

The messaging statistic shows the distribution of messages, it’s relative.

It doesn’t mean that men aren’t messaging average woman often, it just means that they are messaging attractive women more.

Ironically, you neglect to mention that women receive more messages than men all around. Full OKCupid post: https://www.gwern.net/docs/psychology/okcupid/yourlooksandyourinbox.html

QuenchlessGato · 2021-01-01T15:20:45+00:00

Would you be comfortable with a relationship where your partner is not attracted to you?

acron5n5 · 2021-01-01T12:26:50+00:00

Women have same standards. If you can get one you can get more, maybe with some effort. So going after higher SMV women makes perfect sense, if you are attractive enough to get laid at all then you gotta message and approach more; if you cannot then lowering your standards won't help either, it's over and you are move, just jerk off & coom.

LillthOfBabylon · 2021-01-01T14:38:15+00:00

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anakinskynoobi · 2021-01-01T15:22:05+00:00

Bruh... If women rate men down it's normal they will have to message down. This graphic is not well interpreted, notice how the message graphics are on both slightly higher than the rates graphics. If you look at the normalized graphics you see the curves of both men and women are similar but the mens one is lower cause they receive less messages. Plus down women still receive more messages than top men. This same graphics and argument is used by the owner of okcupid to say that men have "unrealistic expectations" even having the damn attractiveness ratings in front so yeah, as someone on the comments joked: wrong and gynocentric bias.

LillthOfBabylon · 2021-01-01T12:22:09+00:00

Now to wait for men to suddenly call Okcupid gynocentric and anti-science. Ultimately, throwing away their "proven science".

In the end, 40% of both genders pursue the top 20% of hotties. So stop this 80/20 bullshit.

Link to study: https://techcrunch.com/2009/11/18/okcupid-inbox-attractive/

wtknight · 2021-01-01T12:31:26+00:00

But it's not like they aren't sexually attracted to many of the women who they don't initially message, because the sexual attraction chart shows a normal bell curve, whereas for women it doesn't. That curve for women indicates women messaging men who they admit are not that attractive to them, at least initially based upon those men's profiles.

SecondHandMatron · 2021-01-01T15:16:59+00:00

There is information missing. How many messages in total are sent by men and women?

It's likely that vast majority of messages are sent by men. That means the entire female curve is sent by the lower half of females (top females only need to respond), and represents a small fraction of all messages.

QED.

brofanities · 2021-01-01T17:11:07+00:00

This seems to help the RP argument if anything? Regardless, 70% of women dont use OLD, those are probably the only ones worth dating. I cant imagine any woman on OLD not being high off her own farts or worse. You are better off going on dates with your local cashier.

TwoFirmFeet · 2021-01-01T17:26:19+00:00

Lololol wanna know why? Women play with the emotions of lesser valued men in order to get an ego boost to talk to chad.

ivy176 · 2021-01-01T15:13:11+00:00

I wonder how my science professors would have graded my assignments if I used okcupid and wiki as references for statistics 🤔 very unbalanced samples on okcupid.

In world news: okcupid demonstrates that many years ago, mainly sleazy old fuckers who fetishize way younger women were drawn to okcupid

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Icunvme66 · 2021-01-01T12:36:56+00:00

So both men and women want the hottest people and when a large portion of them realize they can’t get the hottest people, men ignorantly keep trying and women just end up settling. I think we just suck as humans

801735 · 2021-01-01T12:40:11+00:00

I must admit I don't message chicks on OLD, but that's because I don't use any.

i_wind · 2021-01-01T12:55:35+00:00

Bruh, I honestly wish this were the case.

😩😩😩

stop cappin

ijustwannabeagoat · 2021-01-01T14:08:04+00:00

I imagine that the guys who are messaging above their looksmatch are not the ones getting dates/laid. I.e they’re not using the app correctly. There’s a lot more men than women on OLD with a variety of levels of success. Also the most attractive men are not on okcupid I assume?

BurdensomeCount · 2021-01-01T17:33:58+00:00

Lol no. This distribution is based on the previous distribution of how attractive men/women found each other. Given that the number of men rated most attractive by women rounded down to 0% there is no surprise they got almost no messages (same reason why men's peak is not at most attractive).

When women rated a near majority of men one step up from least attractive is it any surprise that that group got the most messages?

Post a scaled message graph by size of group and then we will see.

Fromwombtilltomb12 · 2021-01-01T17:46:01+00:00

1 I Wanna know how attractiveness is being measured here males value goes up to women based off other factors so lets say he was ugly facially but had other traits like lots of wealth or he was very fit and was tall or more likely he had a degree that increases status and this graph is only comparing things based purely of looks it's not including other factors into the equation this doesn't debunk the black pill the black pill is really an over bearing factor it includes looks usually though cause there is a large correlation between looks and height and also wealth.

2 I see an issue with word manipulation here in this graph as well women have higher standards for what is rated as physically attractive.

3 The vast majority voted on the medium to slightly above medium upper quartile stop lying in cherry picking the very top and males categories are more honest usually they only care about looks however with males we are more orientated towards our own looks level usually males are blue pilled and over rate themselves but if corrected they quickly assort to there looks match females don't

OldSimpsonsisbetter · 2021-01-01T17:49:01+00:00

If that's the case, why was I never messaged? lol

Banned_BY_SOYMEN · 2021-01-01T18:10:47+00:00

Women are messaging them for the easy attention and ego boost lol. Nice try though.

mohammdvhbzdh · 2021-01-01T20:07:55+00:00

Interesting

abaxeron · 2021-01-01T20:20:50+00:00

Most of those messages from women are 'Dya haev a spare dollah?'

wateroclock · 2021-01-01T20:48:59+00:00

This is because men typically message first. This isn't "women initiating a conversation" -- most of these must be replies to the abundant "low quality" men showing initiative. And men send more messages to more attractive women because since you're the one having to be initiative, why not initiate with better looking women?

FeminismIsFatal · 2021-01-01T13:11:57+00:00

No. Because it makes sense. If you all think we're ugly as fuck anyway, may as well shoot for the moon. Why go for a 5 who thinks you're a 2 when there's a 7 who thinks you're a 2 just a swipe away?

All that OK Cupid study proved is what men already know: women overrate themselves so ridiculously it really is cartoonish to try and date as an average male. An obese cum dumpster with 10 kids from 11 different dads thinks she's 8-worthy. AHHHHH HAH AHAH AHAH AH

monopoly_life · 2021-01-01T13:31:10+00:00

The study is from 2009 and your link is broken, here is an alternative link to the okcupid blog: https://web.archive.org/web/20100725135317/http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/

Anyway.

They simply measured the number of messages received by attractive individuals? Lame.

I'll tell you what happened: - Women's graph is 20% to the right as always, which might mean that women are influenced 20% by looks. - (i'm now making up figures to illustrate my point) my guess is that 90% of the messages sent by men to women are from PUAs shooting their shot (and they do correlate with attractiveness), while the rest is men carefully sending one message a time and never spinning plates, and those are the men who matter.

Just like 1/100000 men is a rapist but many women report rape, in the same way the 1% of men make 99% of the messages.

Actually I am probably wrong, but im out of RAM. Criticize me.

And BTW.... Who was on Okcupid in 2009?! Maybe the financial crisis plays a part in women's judgement on men? IDK.

TL;DR: the study is useless without the distribution of who sends the messages.

Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2021-01-01T13:39:36+00:00

Lmao. It simply reveals that men value hot pussy and women value attention

mensahi41 · 2021-01-01T14:07:01+00:00

Serious post during purge week. Dunno about that one chief

TheSnowyPlover · 2021-01-01T14:27:49+00:00

Rating people is an indirect/passive action

Messaging people is a direct/active action

Ask yourself what type of man actually has the balls to message women on OLD—one who is likely to be a bit more confident and attractive than your average man. Who would an above average man be likely to message? An above average women.

upalse · 2021-01-01T13:12:16+00:00

Isn't it a mystery why women try to "befriend" ugly orbiters, but less likely to do so with 9/10 chad? Is this because men are insecure? Investigation pending...

Kaisha001 · 2021-01-01T14:12:46+00:00

Actually I bring it up all the time. No one likes to hear that it doesn't say what they want it to say.

Long story short, the M->F messaging function is exactly what we would expect to see IF we assume that people generally message those of equal or greater attractiveness AND because it falls off at the high end shows that men are not punching way out of their league.

So between the two data sets, it shows quite conclusively that A) men can accurately appraise a woman's appearance, and B) that they can accurately appraise themselves as well.

What it says for women is far less flattering, which is why the blog post was quickly taken down...

edit: Missed the bolded not 1st time around, which is kinda crucial.

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