I'm sure this has already been beaten to the ground on this sub, but I want to approach it from this perspective. When all the lonely, bitter men rage or complain, everyone's suggestion is to work harder, improve themselves, and resolve whatever other issues they have before worrying about their lack of romance and sex. I can definitely see the point in not wanting men with blatantly toxic or evil mindsets to go out threatening or harming women, and that an unemployed porn addict shouldn't expect a supermodel mommy girlfriend, and I get that a lot of people really need to chill.

But the thing is, what a lot of guys conflate with sex is a far more basic human desire for affection, by which I mean intimacy, positive touch, closeness, connection, and warmth, shared with another person. It's hard to fulfill these desires non-homoerotically with other men (because we all conflate it with sex), and the main culturally-accepted source of fulfillment for these desires in straight men is sex with women. In a lot of men's minds, sex and affection are very entangled. A lot of boys also grow up with the underlying desires being unmet or shamed by their families and corrupted/exploited by our great Western marketing culture, which can become a constant source of stress.

I think when men are completely deprived of affection, that lends itself to poor self-esteem, which motivates toxic and delusional mindsets and copes, forming a cycle.

Both ends of BP/RP seem to come to the same conclusion for the way out. Whether it's "hit the gym and learn pickup and quit being a bitch" or "develop healthy habits and learn social skills and practice hobbies", the point being made is that "you don't deserve affection as you are right now, and you need to work harder to earn it." Ironically this just supports the same complaints that men have no intrinsic worth, their inner selves don't matter, and they're only valued for their strength, money, and social persona.

So should all these lonely, bitter men stay lonely and endure the grind until they deserve affection, or should they believe they deserve affection as they are and try to pursue it, flaws and mistakes and all? What benchmarks should a man reach before trying to date people they like?