why are some men relatively nice when you know them platonically but act like complete douchebags after you reject their advances ?

YasuotheChosenOne · 2022-01-03T18:35:54+00:00

Maybe what you perceived as “normal” was him being nice too you but once pussy was taken off the table he started treating you like a random.

Anecdotally, I’ve experienced this often with women. She’s nice and flirty until you ask her out and she rejects you, then she’s rude and distant. Meh 🤷🏾‍♂️

RottingVillain666 · 2022-01-03T18:34:31+00:00

You don't owe us nothing. We don't owe you being nice to you.

Barely-moral · 2022-01-03T18:56:34+00:00

Because men treat you in a way that reflects a mix of the benefit they can get from you and the way they think you deserve to be treated.

You rejected him so the benefit of sex/a relationship is out of the table. All that is left is other benefits and the way you deserve to be treated in his eyes.

In other words, he thinks little of you and you have nothing to offer to him.

everleexc · 2022-01-03T18:58:48+00:00

No need to act nice to a girl who expressed that she had no interest in you other than being friends lol

1004throwaway104 · 2022-01-03T18:36:26+00:00

[permanently deleted]

AutistNerd · 2022-01-03T21:14:00+00:00

If i were him, i still be polite to you but will slowly withdraw myself, less talk to you and we will be completely strangers after few days. Cursing is too much imo.

HOLYREGIME · 2022-01-03T18:34:06+00:00

You’re not entitled to anything so stop whining about it.

Did I do it right PPD women?

manfrom-nantucket · 2022-01-03T18:31:50+00:00

Women owe you nothing, stop acting entitled.

Men owe you nothing, stop acting entitled.

Bare minimum lawfully required politeness.

midwesternMD · 2022-01-03T18:35:21+00:00

We’re extra nice when we’re trying to make an impression on women we like. If she doesn’t reciprocate, we’d revert to our normal selves. For some of us, we’re still nice. For others, we’re assholes. Maybe this guy is in the latter group.

TheBookOfSeil · 2022-01-03T19:51:42+00:00

Probably because there's nothing at stake while being friends or casual acquaintances, but a rejection does reflect at least a little bit on the person being rejected.

Some people have bought into the comforting lie that rejection doesn't mean anything, but it does. Maybe not for everyone, but for that individual person doing the rejecting. If those rejection numbers climb high, then chances are that people don't think you're good-looking, which basically means you have poor genetics.

Intrepid_Place5390 · 2022-01-03T19:52:19+00:00

For the same reason women do when you declined or ignore their advances.

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-01-03T20:10:46+00:00

I think it's the gender role dynamic at work. If we lived in an opposite world where women received zero attention or validation and had to do all the initiating, and women had the stronger sex drive, as well as a stunted range of culturally permissible emotional expression, they would react similarly.

But even in the world as it is women exhibit poor emotional regulation in other areas, like when getting dumped for example, they will often vilify their partner. No one is an angel.

FrostieTheSnowman · 2022-01-03T23:40:54+00:00

Unfortunately, dating as a man involves a lot of pain unless you're incredibly attractive. Many men let this pain get to them, and take it out on other people, mainly the women who reject them. As a dude I empathize, but it ain't right.

In some cases, the dude is being extra-nice because he thinks there's a chance for something more. When he is rejected and that is taken off the table, he might decide to cut his losses because he wasn't looking for another friend. That coldness comes across as being a douche sometimes, but often they are just protecting their feelings.

I can see how that sucks for the women on the other side of it, though. Mistaking his romantic intentions as friendship isn't really the woman's fault either. Just kinda sucks all 'round.

LotBuilder · 2022-01-03T23:41:57+00:00

I am not mean in any way but they go from a potential live interest that I’m willing to make an effort for to an acquaintance that I am unwilling to make much of an effort for. I’ll be nice but we are not going to text, go to lunch, etc. I’m not going to help you put together the desk you ordered on Amazon or you can’t borrow my 4Runner to go to the snow. Those are things I do for girls I am having a mutually beneficial relationship with. Me saying no to something I might have said yes to with I was trying to sleep with j You doesn’t make me “mean”. I only have so much time and energy to spend on women and I’ll focus it where I get the highest return on my investment.

ahandtoyourdarknessx · 2022-01-03T18:30:59+00:00

If women owe us nothing, why do we owe them being pleasant if they aren’t on the same page as us?

Slootando · 2022-01-03T18:36:14+00:00

Women owe you nothign, stop acting entitled.

Men don’t owe being nice to you.

But after I showed disinterest he started cursing more than usual, putting on a douchebag/badboy act.

Perhaps he should had started with that instead of being nice. Oh well, maybe a lesson learned when he moves onto the next hoe.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-01-03T19:10:07+00:00

Because they never really wanted to be your friend, they just wanted to date you. That's the only reason they saw a point in being nice to you.

churron12 · 2022-01-03T22:36:32+00:00

Why do women think all men are dark triad chameleons who put on a nice guy act? Oh right because thats all that comes to their brain when they think "guy that turns me on".

BruddaMSK · 2022-01-03T19:18:24+00:00

Because these men want their D in your P and when they realize you won't have s*x with them they become bitter. It's a bit childish but a standard human reaction.

Yes, women owe us nothing and, although I don't approve that guy's behaviour, we owe you nothing either, including respect or politeness.

cvslengthbucketlist · 2022-01-03T19:40:51+00:00

If he's acting that way towards you specifically then it could be entitlement, or he could just be bitter and taking rejection really personally.

If he's acting like that in general it might also be because he thinks he's doing something wrong by coming across as "too nice." So now he's experimenting by being the "bad boy" to see if that does any favors for him.

BecretAlbatross · 2022-01-04T02:50:22+00:00

The burden of having to approach makes rejection sting man. Having to put your neck out there sucks. If a girl rejects me, I just don't wanna be friends with her. Its that simple. Its for my own sanity. If you think a guy should JUST TOLERATE THE PAIN AND EMBARASSMENT OF REJECTION then congrats you're another girl who doesn't care about men's feelings and prove all our points about why you should be stoic and toxic.

TodTheRod01 · 2022-01-04T05:02:19+00:00

man treated you extra nice, in the hopes to make good impression...you reject....now he treats you normal...like everyone else....and you get annoyed...

ChromaticVengeance · 2022-01-03T20:22:42+00:00

Because there is no such a thing as friendship between males and females. How could you be, when 99% of men would say jump to the opportunity of sleeping with his female "friend", the moment she'd hint to it?

Men will say they could if they would not be attracted to her, but also guess what? There is such a thing as post cum clarity, meaning they would sleep even with someone they are not attracted to when they are peak horny.

superincongruent · 2022-01-03T19:15:00+00:00

This kind of shit is why "Be Yourself" is actually good advice. Loads of young guys putting on stupid acts that women see right thorough.

DarkSp3ctre · 2022-01-03T19:05:53+00:00

Because sone guys are so emotionally stunted that rejection makes them become eager douchebags.

1Here4Bach · 2022-01-03T18:36:44+00:00

The male ego can’t take rejection. While women maybe sad at being rejected men become furious.

Drayenn · 2022-01-03T22:30:57+00:00

Probably just tried to look his best to try his luck and when it didnt work he dropped the facade.

Guys that get mad are probably just sore losers and cant handle rejection.

C4yourshelf · 2022-01-03T18:33:41+00:00

[permanently deleted]

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Weaponized_Goose · 2022-01-04T08:11:11+00:00

Those are called r/niceguys

sevune · 2022-01-04T10:24:29+00:00

Just as I suspected, you made this thread to shit on men and confirm your own bias.

RealNiceLady · 2022-02-11T17:12:47+00:00

It's human nature to act bratty if you don't get your way.

Title	why are some men relatively nice when you know them platonically but act like complete douchebags after you reject their advances ?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	107
Date	January 3, 2022 6:29 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/rv8f0w/why_are_some_men_relatively_nice_when_you_know/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-are-some-men-relatively-nice-when-you-know.1211963 https://theredarchive.com/post/1211963

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