I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this. I suspect most readers here have a less promiscuous background than I do. However, it's something I think most of the US is blue-pilled on, and I certainly was until I allowed myself to think these somewhat unorthodox thoughts - so maybe the folks in this forum will understand. Sorry it's long.
I probably had my first orgasm at around 12 years old using a jacuzzi jet. I was reading a romance novel in the bathtub and discovered it. Since then, I've always been able to easily make myself orgasm.
Fast forward to my first sexual encounters with men: growing up in a modern, liberal-minded society all my male partners ALWAYS went down on me and wanted to make sure I orgasmed every time. At first, I liked it. I thought it was great that they wanted to make sure I orgasmed just like they did.
But as I got older, I realized the part of sex I enjoyed the most was the intimacy of penetration. I didn't orgasm in sex most of the time but I loved it more than I liked orgasming. You feel so intimate and close with another human.
Men would continue to insist on "making me cum" but I did it to please them. It made them feel better about themselves if they could go down on me and give me an orgasm. I didn't really care if they did, but they'd be disappointed in themselves if they couldn't make me orgasm so I always let them. Then they'd feel satisfied that they made me climax. What they did not realize was that it was the (non-orgasmic) sex that pleased me so much more than the mechanical clitoral orgasm. I might as well use a vibrator as have a man's head between my legs - it's so impersonal, mechanical, detached.
Love is the part of sex that I love. Orgasm is just a physiological response.
I tried to google it and see if anyone else was having these thoughts. Mostly I found articles about how it's okay if you can't orgasm, sex can still be just as good. But these words - "just as good" - were troubling. I think sex can be BETTER when we don't fixate on female orgasms. I can orgasm just fine. I prefer not to.
And it makes me wonder if we've actually made sex worse for women by focusing so much on the orgasm aspect of sex - men see the orgasm as the central goal of sex - and so they want us to experience it too and get obsessed with making us orgasm - when in fact, it is the intimacy and closeness part of sex that is really more enjoyable for most women when we aren't fixated on making sure we orgasm.
Anyway, you are an open minded bunch so I was curious to hear your thoughts.