Why Every Man Should Spend A Year In Commissioned Sales

I just finished up my commission audit for 2015, and it got me thinking about something I wanted to make a post on.

I recommend every man should spend at least one year of their lives in some sort of commissioned sales job; whether it's selling guitars at Guitar Center, selling Acuras at the local car dealer, or selling cellular phones for Verizon. I've made a career out of sales since getting out of the military 10 years ago, and now I'm an insurance broker where 100% of my income is commission based; if I don't sell, I don't earn, I don't eat.

Now, many people are very uncomfortable with that sort of situation; I'm not gonna say that many people are too pussy to take that sort of risk, but the bottom line is that, well....many people are too pussy to take that sort of risk.

So why do I recommend it, even if it's for a year before you move out of mommy and daddy's house? Simple; because one thing I've discovered since donning my red-shaded Oakley's is that there are many crossovers between the art of selling and the art of Game.

The only difference between the two is that in the former, you're trying to sell a newlywed couple into a new SUV, and in the latter, you're trying to sell your cock into her vagina.

Many of the techniques are the same between selling and Game:

• Principle #1: Never, ever ask closed-ended questions Very simply, a "closed-ended" question is any question that can be answered with a flat "yes" or a flat "no".
  

Sales: "So do you wanna buy the car today?"

Game: "So you wanna go out on Friday night?"

Response to both: "No".

See what I just did there? I shot myself in the fucking foot because now I've effectively let my mark end the conversation and the deal is dead.

Instead, you do what's called "assuming the close". Works both in sales and in Game.

Sales: "So which one of these SUVs are we gonna do a deal on, the red one or the white one?"

Game: "So what time are we heading out on Friday, 7 or 8?"

You don't give them the opportunity. You still may lose the deal/girl, but at least now you are making them try to convince themselves why they don't wanna buy the car/fuck you.

• Principle #2: Never, ever let the client/girl lead the conversation One of the lessons I learned during a stint early on as a Lot Lizard is to never, ever let the customer lead you around the lot; you are always guiding them. They don't know what the hell they want, so they have no business leading you around the lot on a leash. You have a car already in mind, and you guide the client to them.

Same principle applies in Game. You are the leader, she is the follower. This is an oft discussed idea around here. She doesn't want to be the decision-maker, but will try to take the lead if she senses weakness from you. She doesn't know that this will have disastrous consequences for her. Just as it is the salesman's job to guide the sales process, it is the man's job to keep his women on the straight and narrow path.

• Principle #3: Always give finite choices During my 5 years as a Sales Manager for a Verizon retailer, one of the biggest mistakes I'd see my salespeople make is overwhelming their customer with options. Here it is 10 minutes into the sale, and the sales guy would have 5, 7, 9 different smartphones on the countertop, whipping up a frenzy of comparisons between them, all the while I'm watching the customer's eyes glaze over in utter confusion. Before we know it, the customer says the most dreaded words a salesman can hear: "I'm gonna have to think about it." Dead sale.

Same principle applies in Game: Never give a woman endless options. What's the worst fucking question you could possibly ask a woman?

"So whattaya wanna do tonight?"

What's the 100% fucking response? All in unison, gentlemen, say it with me:

"I dunno".

As some know but new guys may not know, when dealing with women, just as with dealing with customers, you give them finite choices. For instance:

Sales: "So which Fender guitar do you prefer, the Sunburst orange-yellow or the Honey-blonde?"

Game: "So do you want to go to the sushi restaurant or do you wanna try that new steakhouse that just opened up on Main St?"

This way you are giving them the illusion of choice without actually giving them a choice. Little do you know, that both the Sunburst and Honeyblonde guitars both have a $50 SPIFF on them this month, and I win no matter which you choose.

And, my dear, I like both sushi and steak, I don't really give a fuck which one you pick because either way I win even if you just order a salad. And no, bitch, you're not picking off my plate; if you want food, order fucking food.

• And finally, Principle #4: ALWAYS BE CLOSING
  

https://youtu.be/Q4PE2hSqVnk

Always. Be. Closing. One thing I've learned over a 10 year sales career is that, yes, there are people who simply like talking to salesmen. I can't tell you how many times, as a young 25 year old salesman at Guitar Center, some old, aging, hippie douchebag with a 1970's ponytail and a Grateful Dead t-shirt would just wanna come into the department and "talk shop" with me about guitars, strings, picks, pickups, you name it. Just sitting there, listening to this asshole play "Stairway to Heaven" just like the last 100 douchebags that have to play "Stairway to Heaven" on every damn guitar in the department.

I eventually learned that once a sale has stalled out, once it becomes clear that they have no intention of closing the deal, to excuse myself and get the fuck out of there before the next potential real customer walks in.

Because what is the old douchebag really doing? Is he trying to buy a guitar from me today? Of course not. What is he really after? HE WANTS ME TO VALIDATE HIM AS A SUCCESSFUL MUSICIAN.

Now, where have we seen that magical "V" word before (no, not vagina)?

Exactly. Just like the aging douchbag guitar player, there are women who will collect all of the Text/Snapchat/Instagram/Facebook validation that men are willing to dish out to them. And yes, there are women who have no intention of ever fucking you, but will happily use you as a "cuddle buddy", wasting your fucking time.

So in Game, just as in sales, always be closing. Once it becomes clear that she doesn't intend on revealing Victoria's Secret, drop her like a hot rock and move the fuck on.

So in summary, this is why I say every "Game Aware" RP man should try his hand in commissioned sales, at least for a finite time period. On top of getting the "Game" practice I mentioned above, it will also have the ancillary effect of simply making you more sociable and more willing to approach and talk to random people, especially if you happen to be introverted or a social Sperg in the first place.

Happy Sunday, gentlemen.