Break up with LTR

Zahlix · 2018-05-20T09:56:41+00:00

Moving out your stuff before might be a good idea, so you have less face to face exposure later on. I would still advice a face to face breakup as a learning experience. You seem to have a problem communicating your wants and needs and running away from it hiding won't help you (maybe read the book No more Mr. Nice guy).

Yes, she will cry. Yes, you might cry. Yes, it will feel like a punch in the gut.

If this relationship is not what you want out of life, move on. You are wasting your own and hers by trying to keep this broken ship afloat.

xD3CrypTionz · 2018-05-20T08:58:09+00:00

Not a dick move but it's the easiest way out IMO. If you couldn't pull the trigger all the way while she was in front of you then you didn't deserve the relationship. Abundance mentality my dude!

If you go through with this then make sure you get rid of any evidence (photos, texts etc) that way you don't reminisce and fuck up by going back to her. She would have the power then

Stay strong my dude! You got this

ramfex21 · 2018-05-20T11:25:22+00:00

Bull fucking shit.. I have no doubt that guys will be chasing a single good looking backpacker staying in cheap dirty hostels. And if she cheats I’d never know. And it’s likely that she will, from stories I’ve heard. I can’t risk it

MattyAnon · 2018-05-20T11:19:53+00:00

So my LTR of 5 years has decided to go on an overseas holiday to Europe for a month by her self.

Your ex-LTR, yes.

feminist

dealbreaker

Reading your first paragraph: get the fuck out, you're better off single. And there are women out there that, much better. There's no unicorns, but there's way fucking better than that.

Right before she comes back I will send her a message saying that when you get back I will have moved my shit out and will no longer be in the relationship. I then plan on blocking her phone and social media. I won’t even read her replies. Do you guys think this is a dick move? I’ve tried breaking up in person before and I just couldn’t do it... I didn’t have the balls, she started crying etc..

Never tell her anything about the future. "I will have moved out".

Instead you do it, and perhaps tell her. "I've moved out". Then refuse to meet if you're too weak to stand up to her.

Ideally you tell her everything in one text: "I've moved out, things are not working for me, we want different things". Now you've said everything and don't need to respond further. No negotiation.

By the way she's lining you up to be her BB while she fucks other men. Wanting marriage plus overseas holiday by herself.... I doubt you'd even be the father of your children.

Do you guys think this is a dick move?

It doesn't matter what anyone thinks, do what works for you.

I know it are meant to sit down and have some conversation or something.

No you are not "meant" to do this. You do this if you can, but it's not always the best. Especially when you're as under the fucking thumb as you are.

I know I’m being a coward... but I got to what I got to do right?

Time to grow some balls young padwan

02537-41101 · 2018-05-20T12:48:16+00:00

hold up, she earns more than you as a psychologist and wants you to work harder for yourself as you mention?

I’m gonna be that guy — this isn’t grounds for separation as much as it is your own inadequacy showing through. despite her raging hot feminism, unless I have more context I’m acquiescence to the idea that you’re not being the man you should be in your dynamic.

vandaalen · 2018-05-20T09:05:00+00:00

Good plan. If she is annoying you too much until then, don't even bother sending a text.

actualimprovement · 2018-05-20T10:44:53+00:00

Women traveling alone always calls for a good story. In their head the vacation-dick probably doesn't count.

dinkelpuss · 2018-05-20T11:57:38+00:00

Get out ... my ex-LTR went on two trips by herself to Europe ... the first time she fucked some guy behind my back and was planning on branch swinging to him for a LTR the next time she went back in 6 months (except he pumped her and dumped her immediately).

I made the beta-faggot move of forgiving her after finding out and gave it another shot. When I heard she was planning on going to Europe again with her "friends" I ended it right there and she agreed with my decision (she knew what she wanted).

Now she's in a LDR with a guy overseas that she met from that trip.

get out.

purplefidgetmidget · 2018-05-20T09:53:58+00:00

Yes, it's a dick move to break up with someone when they're away after a 5 year relationship.

It's not the wrong move, you should definitely break up, but you should have the balls to do it to her face, not SMS her 'sry bby g2g thx 4 the 5 yrs cu'.

If you want to take the coward action then fine but it looks like your post's purpose is to reduce your own guilt by getting some other people to agree with you that it's acceptable to dump a girl after 5 years by text while she's away. It isn't.

Also ghosting her isn't cool either. Sure, ghost a plate, or ghost an LTR that cheats on you or whatever, but after a 5 year relationship? You should talk to her like a man, tell her what's up, and give her some closure. She'll get absolutely fucked up mentally if you just ghost her, she'll wonder WTF happened and it'll probably scar her for several years. I know someone that did this and the girl never got over it fully.

TRP isn't about being abusive to women. It's about being a man.

chazthundergut · 2018-05-20T19:01:23+00:00

Stop being a spineless bitch and break up with her right now.

No wonder she only fucks you once a month. Find your balls and start acting like a man.

tiffanyoiler_ · 2018-05-20T18:34:23+00:00

Definitely break up with her but only after the trip. Don’t just sit on your ass during this period of separation between the two of you and use it to go game and possibly spin new plates while also sorting out your feelings of inadequacy.

By the assumption of what you wrote, your insecurities are overflowing and your gf is tired of cuddling it (ironic enough that she’s a psychologist and it’s her profession, that’s a different subject though). Do whatever it takes to build your confidence and mentally prepare yourself so you can deal with possible shit tests and lost of frame when you do end it. It’ll help you with your problem of asserting yourself and not resort to evasive tactics in the future and establish frame. 48 laws of power is definitely a book you should read during this period.

Give us the recap of this in a month. Best of luck.

that_italia_guy · 2018-05-20T15:16:04+00:00

Your happiness is the most important thing. You ain't a happy dude in that relationship. And sex once a month....that's brutal

WoodWizzy87 · 2018-05-21T02:22:14+00:00

Move out and ghost, who gives a shut about giving her closure

BusterVadge · 2018-05-20T14:05:33+00:00

> I’ve tried breaking up in person before and I just couldn’t do it... I didn’t have the balls, she started crying etc..

There is your real problem. You're a doormat.

Yes, dump her anyway you can find the courage to do so but for gods sake fix yourself ASAP!

moresmarterthanyou · 2018-05-20T11:04:52+00:00

Personaly I think it’s a pussy move. Man up and do it face To face. Move your stuff out while she’s gonna and tell her face to face when she gets back, it’ll help your communication skillss, the fact your considering ghosting someone you’ve been with for 5 years is nuts.

TheTrenTrannyTrain · 2018-05-20T10:06:21+00:00

Excellent plan, move all your shit out and don't bother contacting her that you're gone. You need to ghost her completely so her hamster will go supersonic.

5JS1XBG64A · 2018-05-20T19:22:50+00:00

She earns more than me

Always trying to get me to work harder and save more for holidays, higher rent, better clothes

While you absolutely should end things with her based on the other stuff you've told us, she has a damn good point here. Why AREN'T you working harder and saving more? You should be doing these things because they're good for you, not because she's nagging you like your mom would to get you to do them.

Move out while she's gone, break up with her face to face when she gets back. Have some backbone. Once you two are done, get working on improving yourself. Work harder, be wiser with your money, get to the gym, all that.

ramfex21 · 2018-05-20T11:23:52+00:00

Yea she is fucking me over all why saying that this is just what people do these days.. they travel solo in LTRs etc

ronalddrump69 · 2018-05-20T12:28:33+00:00

You sound like a faggot. Just man up and break up in real life. You dated for 5 years, why the hell would you break up through text, you think she won't go to ur house if u do it via text? It sucks to break up but in the long run you'll be happy you did it face to face. Breaking up via text is NOT okay.

Scholes_SC2 · 2018-05-20T13:07:28+00:00

Feminist, boring sex, emotionally manipulative, pushing you to do things? How did you put up with this shit for so long?

resnine · 2018-05-20T13:26:50+00:00

Just reading that first line, going on a European holiday by herself. I think we all know what that means.... she's going to be riding the cock-carousal in Europe.

GainzdalfTheWhey · 2018-05-20T14:17:35+00:00

Boring sex once a month, then yeah jeez, discard her

HannibalBacara · 2018-05-20T14:22:57+00:00

Even if she wasn’t going on this trip I’d tell you to break up with her because of all the other shit you described.

Sex once a month?!?!!? Fuck off.

But he a man about it and break up with her in person.

TheDisillusionist · 2018-05-20T14:34:28+00:00

If you have resigned yourself to going through life as a pussy all other questions of technique, strategy, and style are pointless.

You'll just fuck the next one up until you learn so go right ahead. Eventually you'll stop and ask why you are asking advice on how to be a more efficient pussy and start asking the right questions. Or maybe you wont.

Good luck.

RedPilledRoaster · 2018-05-20T14:38:02+00:00

Be a man or be a bitch. The choice is yours.

Entrefut · 2018-05-20T16:18:24+00:00

Listen... If what you have written here is true and you seriously find her that daunting, that’s all the more reason to dump her straight to her face.

When something scares you and you overcome it, especially if it’s what you really want, you feel confident and strong after just doing it.

It sounds like over the course of 5 years this girl has worked her way into making you completely okay with everything she wants to do.

Let her go on this trip, but the entire time she’s gone, move on. Focus on yourself, find other girls to hit on, move on. When she gets back from her vacation, then decide what you want. Do you want once a month boring sex? Do you want someone who has a disrespect towards the male mindset? Do you honestly think you can do better (you can)?

When she comes back, sit her down, tell her you liked the break you guys just took and want to continue on this path of getting to go out and get the things that make you happy. Take a break from her, see what other girls have to offer. You’re worth it, you have an entire life ahead of you.

zboo1h · 2018-05-20T16:20:48+00:00

Stay strong, dude. Try and remember the feeling in your gut. You're not happy with her, she isn't a positive thing for you, she isn't a net gain in your life.

There are billions of other women who can give you the same if not better (and hearing about your sex life, definitely better).

Speaking of that, having sex once a month and it being "boring" is one of the classic indicators she's cheating on you. Not saying she is, but there's that.

Stay strong. You're doing the right thing. When she cries, you ignore it, you fucking stay out of her emotional shit. You want out, so you leave, you don't play her game, this is YOUR fucking game, and you're taking YOUR ball(s) and going home. Fuck her.

Meanwhile, after it's done and her # is blocked and her social media is blocked and there is no way she can contact you, move on immediately. Curl up in the corner and cry for 15 designated "Crying Pussy" minutes, then get up and start talking to other girls. Start banging the shit out of them. You'll find it helps a whole lot. Keep going, man.

relder2585 · 2018-05-20T17:28:50+00:00

Good to see that you're not even considering staying together, because that would be absurdly pathetic on your part. She totally disrespected you by knowing you're not cool with her going on the trip but going anyway.

So, as to your method of breaking up, man up and do it face to face. Then move out. Don't get angry, but let her know that what she did is highly disrespectful and you'll have none of it. But do it face to face.

I think the only time its reasonable to completely ghost in the way you suggest is if she actually cheated on you.

dotwav2mpfree · 2018-05-20T19:31:03+00:00

I would end it asap, even before she leaves. Might be inconvenient, but it saves you a lot of nights in the future doubting whether you should go out on the prowl. Or if that's what she's doing in the EU. I'm struggling lately to understand why so many young women think it's okay to vacation solo when they are in a LTR. Seems to be a commonly held opinion. Why not plan a vacation together?

rpthrowaway871 · 2018-05-20T19:48:02+00:00

Do you guys think this is a dick move?

Sounds like she's been stepping on your dick for 5 years, so who fucking cares? You're sitting here worrying about her feelings.

You're not happy. Go get happy. You're making this about her when it should be about you.

MindFuktd · 2018-05-20T20:02:58+00:00

Fucking once a month?... It's over.

liberty1127 · 2018-05-20T22:35:01+00:00

Break up or suffer the consequences

truedemocracy3 · 2018-05-20T23:40:02+00:00

Going abroad is one thing, but using Contiki??? No one does that unless they are absolutely looking for sex. She's going there to get dicked and will get dicked regardless of your relationship with her.

Sounds like things went south already so better to get out now than before marriage

throwawaydegar · 2018-05-23T13:35:28+00:00

Contiki is essentially a bit orgy. It's great fun.

I've had sex with countless backpacking girls from years spent on that scene. A lot of them are open about having boyfriends at home.

Yeah, this is over. No doubt about it. Would be better if you could do it before she left. But doesn't matter either way. She isn't coming back to you anyway. Sounds like you moving out whilst she is away will be a relief for both of you.

throwinghthisoneaway · 2018-05-20T09:20:10+00:00

Seeing as shes pushing for kids and marriage while taking this trip without it, i think its fine you breakup with her. Make no mistake, women cheat when they travel alone. Its a big reason why they travel in the first place in my experience, because its easy to get dick that they dont have to stat with. I think you should breakup with her after she goes on her trip though. And face to dace because you should be able to look someone in the eye and say i dont want to be with you anymore. If you cant youre a pussy

PliskinRed · 2018-05-20T10:43:30+00:00

It's not a dick move, it's a pussy move.

Be a man and learn to confront your issues instead of running away from them.

What if the problem was your boss or a client, for example, instead of your GF? Would you just not turn up to work one day?

Move your stuff out while she is away to avoid the drama and screaming but break up with her face to face (IN A PUBLIC PLACE.

I know I’m being a coward... but I got to what I got to do right?

Yes, do what you got to do but do it the right way. And no, I dont mean right be her. I mean rght by you.

This is a big problem in your life obviously causing you anxiety and you need to learn to face it.

dongpal · 2018-05-20T09:42:07+00:00

the way you described it is actually theoretically and practically the best way to do it. you will be able to move your shit away without any harm, no big drama and stuff. everyone who goes on holidays without their SO should be left right on the spot.

11-Eleven-11 · 2018-05-20T19:06:03+00:00

I would do it right before she left. Ruin her trip.

forbesno1 · 2018-05-20T10:26:29+00:00

If you can pull it off, sure man. Btw, why are you leaving? Isn't this your house?

Redasshole · 2018-05-20T12:49:12+00:00

You don't owe her shit.

If you don't want a conversation then you don't have it. Don't let women define what being a man is. Thinking "I don't want a face to face conversation then i'm a coward then i'm not a man" is stupid. Women wants face to face conversation so they can influence you therefore that's why they say no face to face breakup = coward = not a man.

Since she is a manipulative feminist then you must protect yourself. Moving your stuff out is great but then make sure she has no mean of harming you cause believe me she will try. Not telling her or any mutual friend your new address is the place to start

Fun2badult · 2018-05-20T13:29:53+00:00

Don’t expect think she’s not going to find dudes and eventually fuck

Cloudsurf89 · 2018-05-20T17:44:37+00:00

Make the decision on your terms and without her consulatation. If you need to talk through it then talk with a male friend who has red pill tendences (not some blue pill bf of one of her friends).

SHE IS NOT TO BE INCLUDED IN THIS DISCUSSION ABOUT YOUR FUTURE.

Your relationship is clearly based on her frame so any discussion with her will end up with you being led (or at the very least heavily influenced) by her agenda.

When it comes to telling her then do it with the frame "I have made MY decision and this is a notification, not a discussion".

Good luck mate

Rares5555 · 2018-05-20T17:51:51+00:00

Best way to break up with someone if you’re living with them:

Rent a separate place elsewhere One day, when she’s gone, pack all your shit up and move it to the other place When she comes home and sees half of the shit missing and you on the couch, say “have a nice trip, it’s over” and leave.

BurnieSlander · 2018-05-20T20:57:56+00:00

Damn dude this was my exact situation 3 years ago.. LTR of 5 years, and she booked a trip to Europe for 5 full weeks while I had been saving coin so we could rent a house together.

I knew she was taking the trip because she wasn’t sure about the relationship- and if you’re not sure after 5 years, it’s time to break up.

When she returned she saw me out with a plate and flipped shit and I just said “You made your decision when you got on the plane”. Bye. She threw a tantrum for a week while I silently moved all my shit out and cut ties.

IMO you and this girl are already broken up. Proceed accordingly and start acquiring plates, lifting like a motherfucker and expanding your social circle. Enjoy your new life!

sjdfhskdjfh · 2018-05-22T02:04:16+00:00

gross, what are you doing with a feminist?

IronJohnKwando · 2018-05-21T19:31:08+00:00

you should sit down and break up with her before, and face this like a man. Is this how you plan on handling all of your future issues? Don't puss out and be a little boy about it.

CommanderCumlord · 2018-05-22T01:49:23+00:00

Hard pill to swallow coming right up:

Did you ever man up and tell her any of what you just told us? Put it in woman speak: “baby I just don’t think our values and interests in life are aligned, etc.” - Because it’s true. If she agrees offer to split and go in different directions. Current trends are an indicator of what’s to come in the future: sex once a month at best for the rest of your life? This isn’t what you or her want she’s looking to escape. Remember watch what she does not what she says.

bob13bob · 2018-06-05T16:25:59+00:00

ist She is a raging feminist We have sex only like once a month and it’s boring sex She is emotionally manipulative

wtf, break up. nothing else matters.

throwitdownman · 2018-05-20T17:21:58+00:00

If I were you, I would do it RIGHT before she leaves.

Women have a way of making men feel bad. If you do it while she is away, she’ll call you endlessly, send you messages, etc. After that, she’ll try to arrange a meet up for logistics, then she’ll cry endlessly, etc.

What you didn’t know is that when she received the message overseas, you were not the only person she was texting, she was also texting huncho from Austria she met that morning.

Which brings me full circle to my point. If you break up BEFORE she leaves, you would not risk being faced with cuck tears. If you do it after, you must commit to the hard next and have a frame of steal - which tbh is hard to do.

Title	Break up with LTR
Author	ramfex21
Upvotes	64
Comments	172
Date	May 20, 2018 8:49 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8krht3/break_up_with_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/break-up-with-ltr.732 https://theredarchive.com/post/732

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