4 Rules for Relationships

bananabananabananas · 2013-03-10T18:06:56+00:00

I'm sorry I know I'm going to get downvoted for this but it needs to be said - This is some grade A, immature, high school bullshit and it's just as bad as the games women play that we guys always complain about.

This may help you get girls but it will make women laugh at you. And its no way to begin a relationship, like an actual, caring, partner-for-life relationship.

Number 4 is good, but remember communication is key and never be judgmental or she'll never open up to you again about things she might want to try.

Number 3 is caveman idiocy. You dont have a 'role'. This isnt a play or a movie. Yes, youre the man, but youre the man because youre A man, so do what comes naturally. Pay attention to the woman youre with and respond accordingly. Dont worry about looking weak or needy - just dont BE weak or needy.

Number 2 is about the stupidest thing I've ever read. Its going to guarantee you get into shitty relationships because only damaged little girls would ever put up games like this. Here's all you need to know. If someone disrespects you, remain calm - remember youre a man and not a needy little boy - and tell her its unacceptable for her to treat you poorly. If she cant accept that, shes got some growing up to do and you should wish her well and depart. Do not ever TEST her, Cologio

Number 1 isnt too far off, confidence is key. In everything, not just relationships or getting laid. But this is a relationship, not a contest and you shouldnt be afraid to be a little vulnerable in front of her. Its OK to be afraid of losing her - just remember that if you do, youre going to be OK. If she's valuable its only natural to not want to lose her. It'll help you to remember to keep putting in effort

Dont be desperate, because you arent desperate.

This whole thing reads like a list of how to pretend to be a grown-up man. Dont pretend. Just be a man and be confident enough to trust in the person youre with.

The_Music · 2013-03-10T17:56:14+00:00

I think the whole checking thing is BS. All of that sounded completely needy.

Felosele · 2013-03-10T18:29:57+00:00

Some rules that may help you: Here.

la_capitana · 2013-03-10T16:22:32+00:00

Just curious- why the "don't tell her you love her until she tells you first"?

redzky · 2013-03-10T16:34:16+00:00

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IAmAPhoneBook · 2013-03-10T16:18:50+00:00

There's definitely some useful advice in here.

*This also includes 'her' telling you that she thinks another guy is cute, flirting with another guy, thinking that you always have to pay for her when you go out, etc.(Don't let them get away with any of these!)

But I would point out that this could easily conflict with not wanting to appear needy. It's appropriate to think about how to best handle the situation.

I can tell you right now that some girls will (obviously) do some of these things in order to gauge your reaction. The important thing is to try and understand that many times this is just a way for your new girl to figure out boundaries and discern how possessive/needy you are in a relationship dynamic.

My first girlfriend did it to me the first night we went out to as a couple, with some friends. We went to a big house party and for the 3-4 hours we were there, she didn't give me any attention at all. She hopped around, chatting up guys and getting chatted-up by guys. Her best friend asked me how I felt about the situation and pointed out to me that she was being fairly transparent with her actions. I think that saved me some face because once I started thinking about all of it as just a way for her to screen me further, I didn't really feel any frustration.

Just let them be and... I won't say act like you don't care-- but act like you don't notice/are too distracted by other interests to care.

solcross · 2013-03-10T17:48:48+00:00

This is drivel.

whorefart · 2013-03-10T18:56:11+00:00

"somewhere where the sun doesn't shine" :)

alwaysInSlippers · 2013-03-10T18:14:12+00:00

If you're trying to build a meaningful long term or life long relationship with someone, then I don't think the example provided in number two is the best way to handle the situation, although the overall point made is correct. A much more effective approach would be to say something like "I'm going to stop you right there, I understand you've had a bad day, and I'd love to help comfort you, but don't snap at me like its my fault, that's not fair." And then ask her about her day.

itsmevichet · 2013-03-10T18:23:23+00:00

This isn't terrible advice at its core, but could do with better examples and context. Also, why do you keep putting quotes around "her" and "she" like she's not actually a woman?

Anyway, I would rephrase number two as "Have a backbone and stand up for yourself" rather than "Never let 'her' disrespect you." Your original statement is reactive and depends on a specific situation coming up with the woman.

If instead you're proactive, and you conduct your life in a way that exudes confidence and a certain Wu-Tang-Clan Ain't Nothin' to Fuck With vibe, even the shit testingest woman wouldn't test those limits.

Which is where I get to my next point - nowhere in this post do you talk about the kind of woman that's required to have a constructive, fulfilling, happy relationship. Actually, most of the post seems to be about how to keep a shitty woman happy.

At this point in my life, I'm finding it hard to put in effort to keep a shit-tester interested when I can, and have, just bailed and gotten a hotter, cooler, more stable girl.

You kind of touch on that in point 2, but I think the "when to bail" part of it should be at the forefront rather than an aside.

Cause, again, why are you advocating negotiating with the kind of woman who blows up at you after a bad day? Women worth dating don't do that, and yes, they exist.

fodissin · 2013-03-10T18:09:03+00:00

You are a narcissistic fuckwad.

redzky · 2013-03-10T18:28:17+00:00

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CP_Cuddler · 2013-03-10T16:11:54+00:00

I like most of this post.

Number 1, 2, and 3 are extremely important in my opinion.

I do however disagree to the "don't say I love you until she does". Yes you don't want to scary her away with neediness, but if you actually love her in what is a reasonable time frame for that kind of thing to happen, why not just go ahead and say it? Waiting for the girl to say it first might be the 'safest' route, but don't be afraid to express your feelings to your SO if you are in a meaningful relationship.

Dispy657 · 2013-03-10T16:09:31+00:00

This is so very true, I've never had a serious relastionship, and I think the reason behind it was because I was giving the girl I liked too much attention, when the love struck me got over her i decided to do a total makeover and stopped over-caring and I immediatly saw results, I'm not saying you shouldn't care about others but do it with style and think about how you would feel if you got the same treatment, don't be scared to say no!

redzky · 2013-03-10T18:15:04+00:00

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pjhollow · 2013-03-10T18:53:25+00:00

How does this get upvoted to the top post in the sub?

toysjoe · 2013-03-10T20:22:32+00:00

I just lost a girl to breaking rule one a week ago.

Hardest lesson I've ever learned.

I wish this was posted two weeks earlier...

EklyM · 2013-03-10T17:21:14+00:00

Ahh, so much light!

I can totally see where I went wrong in my last relationship. Thanks! Good ideas to keep in mind and to work on.

nubswag · 2013-03-10T20:09:54+00:00

I've just got to "Clear".

rubaru · 2013-03-10T17:30:20+00:00

Excellent

junkiexxl · 2013-03-10T22:42:38+00:00

This list gives mostly good advice that you should listen to but most guys here somehow perceive it as "douchebaggy". You can implement these points while still remaining "nice". Ill try to explain it in a softer tone.

1 .The problem with most guys is that theyre needy. They have this aura of neediness around them. They put girls on pedestals and the famous quote says: "if you put someone on a pedestal, they have no choice but to look down on you".

Your mindset should be: "I have a great life and I do the things I like, if you want you can join the ride and we can have fun together" Dont ler her be the reason why you live, show her you can have fun on your own. This way she will respect you, because you respect yourself.

This comes to point 2. Dont let her disrespect you. You have boundaries. You dont disrespect her, so she shouldnt disrespect you either. If you let her disrespect you multiple times without saying anything about it she will perceive you as a spineless chump. You will drop value and lose attraction. Acting on disrespect doesnt mean you have to kick her out of the car, but you should show that you have boundaries. She does the same.

Point 3. Dont take these roles too literal. It comes down to being a man. Be her boyfriend, not another girlfriend. You dont have to listen to all her drama with her other friends and youre not her shopping buddy.

Point 4. makes sense.

redzky · 2013-03-10T18:13:42+00:00

saved. Excellent advice

redzky · 2013-03-10T16:57:25+00:00

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cehov · 2013-03-10T17:04:16+00:00

I'm gonna save this and read them every morning. Thanks!

NapalmRDT · 2013-03-10T19:12:32+00:00

This sounds like rules for a child to pretend to be a man.

Ledatru · 2013-03-10T16:09:53+00:00

All pretty decent advice. Good job.

la_capitana · 2013-03-10T16:41:17+00:00

Women like to complain because that's how they cope. Huh? Could someone elaborate?

thisisgonnabe_good · 2013-03-10T19:11:13+00:00

This is a perfect example of the shit that is stinking up /r/seduction.

The worst part is all these beginners reading and upvoting this crap because they think it is actually a good template to build a relationship on.

Von_Meowstien · 2013-03-10T19:02:40+00:00

It seems like you have a thing for easily manipulated women. So, just do the bare minimum to keep her there, eh? I think a better title for this post would be 4 Rules for Unhealthy Relationships.

girf_the_troll · 2013-03-10T18:05:40+00:00

Just a general good guideline for relationships here

Communicate.

If you have a problem, talk it out. If you want something different speak up. If you think you should try something new in bed, don't hesitate to ask.

This is a great way to get to know all the ins and outs of whomever you are with. And if you want relationships to last, communication is key.

2013-03-10T23:41:56+00:00

The only real rules to follow:

Be yourself
Be Handsome - if you are not, work out and suit yourself.

2013-03-10T23:35:48+00:00

Example 1:

Let's say I pick my new girl up from work and she decides to snap at me because she had a bad day. I have no problem slightly raising my voice and telling her that she can get out of the car and walk home if she wants to talk to me like that. Of course, I am not going to make her walk but I will make her believe that I will.

I daygame'd a chick at the mall and have been dating her for a while. I would never do this to her. You sound like a self-absorbed asshole.

Not allowing your new girl to disrespect you is(kind of a test) and boundary setter for your newly forming relationship.

This also includes 'her' telling you that she thinks another guy is cute, flirting with another guy

My girlfriend from time to time tells me guys are cute and I tell her girls are cute. She also lightly flirts with other guys and I do the same with girls, so what?

You sound like you've never been in a healthy or stable relationship before, and you're giving advice. This must be a joke.

Title	4 Rules for Relationships
Author	redzky
Upvotes	51
Comments	183
Date	March 10, 2013 2:32 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1a0vmc/4_rules_for_relationships/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/4-rules-for-relationships.1348690 https://theredarchive.com/post/1348690

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