Had a great first date, now I think I'm being ghosted

But_Kicker · 2022-09-21T19:24:01+00:00

You’re crying over a girl you went on one date with? Man up, she probably sensed this.

Also you saying “can I see you again?” Essentially said “you’re higher value than me, do you accept me?” Wrong mentality. Change it. You’re the prize, not her.

Stop texting her. Stop. 3 texts without a reply displays neediness. She’s testing you to see if you’re needy/crazy. You verified you are.

You wrote an entire essay about a girl you went on a single date with. You’re too invested.

I’m not try to be rude, I’m just saying it how it is and help you understand.

I think you need to focus on yourself and come to terms with your reality and reach a point of self-happiness before you involve someone else.

navyvet27 · 2022-09-21T18:18:35+00:00

Woman on tinder are talking to like 20+ dudes at once. you were probably date #3 that week. She may have enjoyed you, but perhaps she enjoyed one of her other dates a bit more.

Instead of explaining that, its easier to just ghost.

Therocksays2020 · 2022-09-21T17:39:09+00:00

The majority of first dates don’t become a second.

Have to really train yourself not to get attached so soon. Period

I’ve had good first dates who never text me again. And horrible first dates who ask me to come over.

You have to have an abundance mentality that you’re going to be you and go enjoy yourself and if this one isn’t feeling it. You’ll show the next one a great time.

DontCallMeTopher · 2022-09-21T17:57:12+00:00

Sounds like you let her lead the date which probably made you less attractive to her. You need to plan the date and lead it. Little food, no movies (movies are a time sink, you can’t get to know someone during a movie), hit a couple of bars, escalate and kiss her. If you don’t try to kiss on the first date girls think you’re a pussy and/or that they aren’t that attractive to you. Quit blowing up her phone and move on to the next one

jillotheonlycheese11 · 2022-09-21T17:07:20+00:00

bro I didn’t even read past where you say you’ve been crying all day. Why are you putting your happiness in anyone’s hands but your own? Read, journal, meditate, stop bitching on reddit because no one is coming to help you besides you.

chrisieg66 · 2022-09-22T00:51:08+00:00

First of all, why no paragraphs? why would you subject us to that clusterfuck of charactors?

Second, while I can appreciate and even admire your candor here about how much it stings, you gotta man-up. These things happen to the best of us. Why didn't she answer back? WHo knows, maybe she didn't enjoy the date as much as you did. Who knows why, but who cares? You may never know, and it hurts and it sucks but guess what, there's millions of others out there, so pick yourself up and get back out there.

You also give off needy vibes from what you wrote. Your attitude should be: "fuck it...guess she's not the one, her loss. Whos next?"

jillotheonlycheese11 · 2022-09-21T19:45:07+00:00

by the sounds of it, you need to work on yourself rather than being with a chick. If you’re this hurt over the first date then there’s no way you’re ready for the dating world. Sorry bro but 90% of the comments in this sub are speaking facts. It’s a harsh truth and unfortunately you’ve had to learn the hard way. But that’s good because then you can grow, if you make the choice too.

Canadian-Seductioner · 2022-09-21T17:49:24+00:00

I'm not angry honestly I'm just confused and sad af I've been crying all day at work.

Oof

dirtyblondetea · 2022-09-22T02:14:57+00:00

Man up is the most idiotic phrase that has stood the test of time. You’re allowed to feel your emotions, you’re allowed to be frustrated but like previous responders said “crying after a single date with somebody” shows how invested you are in a brand new connection. My recommendation is to try to make several plans at once like a ton of dates/plans/self care, it’s easier to feel less invested in any one specific person right off the bat when you’re socializing and meeting new people and making new memories of your own. And if it’s a solid connection there will be more than one date. Look at that single date experience that you had so much in common with as a sign of hope that you have potential to make a connection with someone like that even if you’re not super invested in a relationship, instead of it concluding “bad things always happen to me”!

Senior-Dot387 · 2022-09-21T21:54:40+00:00

You texted her three times?! How far apart were the texts? By doing that you’ve shot yourself in the foot. Maybe she would have replied but was just busy, but now she will never reply because by sending three texts in a row, she will be thinking you’re desperate and needy and girls don’t want desperate and needy guys. You played this all the wrong way my friend. Whoever told you to be yourself is lying. fake it till you make it or you won’t get anywhere.

Ok_Eye6886 · 2022-09-22T02:11:32+00:00

Keep in mind people have separate lives and you don't know what she's does day to day. Don't think of it as being ghosted that makes it very personal. Just chalk it up to people having different lives and being busy.

henlofr · 2022-09-22T04:45:15+00:00

Been here, really have. Was super unhappy with my life and insecure at the time, every girl i went on a date seemed like the one, because I didn’t have many options.

If you really want to become less insecure and more happy, get off tinder, get in the gym, buy clothes you think look good on you. Work on yourself for a month, don’t think about getting women for that time period.

Afterwards, you will be looking and feeling better. Parlay this boost in confidence into night/day game. Put in the time to learn that you’re not worthless, and become numb to rejection, because rejection isn’t usually about you.

Unfortunately right now rejection is about you, you are desperate and unhappy. Would you want to date someone who was desperate and unhappy in life?

kex_ari · 2022-09-21T19:21:34+00:00

She’s probably spinning multiple plates and some other guy came through, sucks but that’s just how it goes sometimes.

Don’t get so attached after a single first date. A lot of what people do or say on the first date is an act anyway.

I wouldn’t want to be left hanging with a “yeh just text me” either. Why should you text her? If she’s interested she would be chasing you.

zapadz · 2022-09-21T19:36:26+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1BSE1u4-6s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o58mobKfDvI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7L2MzmE8cwo

incognito3107 · 2022-09-21T19:41:20+00:00

Well, apparently nothing memorable happened during that meeting for her. Her emotions dropped quickly afterwards, and she concluded that you won't meet her expectations for a partner. Girls follow social code stricly, most of the time, you need to read between the lines and pay attention to emotions. She needs to desire so much more from you or it will end after first date, her words don't matter much if feelings won't follow.

If you had a girlfriend before you should know by now that communication with female is very much different. Words are words, feelings are feelings.

Exmerus · 2022-09-21T20:17:49+00:00

you are too clingy and she probably sensed it. She didn't want to tell you directly, but she decided to ghost you instead. It is what it is.

TheCaribbeanRedditor · 2022-09-22T00:56:42+00:00

Honestly don't take it personally. She probably has several, or even dozens of men willing to date. Even though she had a good time with you, she probably found someone she vibed with more. Also, there's the possibility that she already has a man, and was just "distraction dating".

Either way, take the advice from the sub - make sure to take her to another venue where you can escalate more easily, and see how it goes there

ikeepon · 2022-09-22T01:58:56+00:00

I mean, shit. It sucks but is it really that serious?! Who the fuck cares if she ghosted you, her loss. Hit the gym, get a hobby, and move on to the next one. This is the way.

Known_Form6073 · 2022-09-22T03:40:14+00:00

She met someone cooler and you triple texted her which is a turn off

grindforthegold · 2022-09-22T06:38:16+00:00

lmaoooo this happened to me my first time bro. you’ll get used to it , it’s a numbers game. girls have a lot of options and during the date it’s almost awkward to not go along nicely with it. don’t take it too personally and keep moving

verticalstars · 2022-09-22T08:54:00+00:00

If you treat her like a celebrity, she will treat you like a fan.

It seems you gave her too much certaintity and validation on the 1st date. Thats just too much needy vibe. Its a turn off...

ftdrain · 2022-09-22T05:10:27+00:00

ITT: Extremely clingy beta male trying to survive in the harsh OLD environment, oh boy.

lildudefromXdastreet · 2022-09-22T03:33:21+00:00

After reading this pathetic post, I can see why she ghosted you.

xxchhfdd35325 · 2022-09-22T11:08:26+00:00

Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssus dude ur triple texting her and crying about it at work all over a fucking date holy hell did she dodge a bullet with you

omega05 · 2022-09-21T17:34:42+00:00

You will heal and move on in time. You're not the only man or person who has been ghosted. You work on yourself and come back better. It's her loss

Intelligent_Badger96 · 2022-09-21T20:35:17+00:00

There could be a number of reasons. Women tend not to like confrontational situations and some women suck at communication. She probably didn't know how to tell you she wasn't interested or was probably way easier for her to ignore you. The best thing you can do is try to be the best version of yourself and know what happened is not your fault. Take time for yourself to get over the situation. Good luck brother.

Bingo_is_the_man · 2022-09-22T00:10:24+00:00

You had to make a move. If you don’t, you’re cooked and might as well just move on.

GeorgeKaplanIsReal · 2022-09-22T03:12:34+00:00

Sounds like it’s time to move on.

Beansnmilk · 2022-09-22T11:43:28+00:00

Lol dont get over attached to someone that quickly bruh

Maleficent-Active-69 · 2022-09-22T13:27:54+00:00

Hey ! This happened with me too. Not ghosted. But I’ve felt a strong attachment to a woman I met once, though we talked for months. Keep this in check. Deal with your attachment issues, and come out stronger than ever. Cheers :)

TexasBoyz-713 · 2022-09-22T14:03:30+00:00

Oneitis

sparklingwinepapi92 · 2022-09-22T15:01:53+00:00

First of all, if she's ghosted you immediately afterwards then clearly it wasn't a great date.

Why do people do this? Someone please explain to me? Why hug me? Why tell me I'm different from all the scumbag guys on tinder? We even discussed things we'd like to do together on a second date, why even entertain that thought if she's just going to ghost me?

At the end of the day, only she knows the answer to all these questions. There could literally be a million different possibilities, but you're only going to drive yourself mad trying to figure it out.

Either she had a bad experience with another guy that made her decide she'd rather just ghost someone, or she's just a callous fake bitch who doesn't say what she means. Regardless, consider it more a reflection of her character than of yours.

I've been crying all day at work

Over a chick you met on Tinder and went on a single date with? She honestly doesn't deserve to live in your headspace rent free like that.

I'm still reeling from my first gf breaking up with me in December and now this, I really just want to die already.

To be honest, I think this is a huge part of the reason why you're struggling with women at the moment. If you're still not over your ex, then you're probably trying to fill a void in your life, and that's subconsciously causing you to give off needy/desperate vibes. You need to get out of the mindset of "finding another chick to get over my ex" since that's gotta come from within.

You got way too invested in her because she was saying a bunch of sweet nothings the whole date. Next time, take all the "sweet nothings" on first dates as a grain of salt until she actually shows you that she means it. Actions speak louder than words.

I asked if I could see her again and she said yeah just text me.

I'll leave you with some friendly words of wisdom, don't say "Can I see you again?" next time. Instead, say "I'd like to see you again". While those two sentences basically mean the same thing, they convey the message in a totally different manner. In the first, you sound like you're asking for her permission and it comes across as you being needy/desperate. In the second one, you're just expressing what you'd like, and either way the outcome doesn't affect you.

Daygamesimplified · 2022-09-22T15:06:49+00:00

You need to learn game, clearly you’re too needy and don’t know what your doing.

A. Don’t seek validation from women, that comes from inside yourself.

B. Your the prize if she isn’t interested move on there are plenty of women more amazing than her out there.

C. Stop caring what other people think and love yourself

If you had game and did cold approach instead of being dependent on tinder, than you wouldn’t care about the fact that she ghosted you.

Women are NOT direct, they will never tell you the truth at least in a LOGICAL way.

They dance around the truth.

You have to accept the way women are and learn to work with it.

2022-09-22T15:20:15+00:00

Move on with your life. You’re just one of many dudes she’s taking to.

sheandi3 · 2022-09-22T15:32:29+00:00

My friend, you are giving off red flags to her, and its probably why she is ghosting you.

YOU COME OFF AS NEEDY!

we parted ways she hugged me <-- you didn't get a kiss, that means friend-zone at best
I've texted her three times since and nothing <-- 1 text is fine. 3 is needy!!! only send 1 for 1... ever. Also, wait 1.5 days to send text. Listen to "How to Talk to Girls" podcast.
I've been crying all day at work <-- it was a first date, this is needy... and shows you don't value yourself highly.
she most certainly has a more busy life than me <-- why? your life should be just as full and fun. join a league of (hockey, axe throwing, bowling, poker, ANYTHING). you should not allow woman to have a busier life than you...and if so, get a life.. or at least don't SEEM like you have a less busy life.
1. busy people are considered "higher value" people.
I doubt I'll find another like her <-- this is called ONE-ITUS. It means you are too fixated on one girl .. at the wrong time. you should have 3 or 5 first dates a week. trust me there is tons of girls out there.

ALL IN ALL

Have better love and respect for yourself. You don't need a woman to be happy.

As soon as you are happy with yourself, WOMEN WILL FLOCK TO YOU!

Then you will have your pick.

YOU ARE ENOUGH JUST YOURSELF!

YOU CAN MAKE FRIENDS NAND LIVE AN AWSOME LIFE WITHOUT A WOMAN

^-- that attitued, IRONCIALLY AS HELL, will get you a great woman.

THEY WANT TO BE AROUND MEN LIKE THIS!

yo_saturnalia · 2022-09-23T08:08:33+00:00

Sometimes girls just love the free food man. Get over it.

Rebeccajp · 2022-09-23T09:51:31+00:00

It is a horrible and confusing situation when you’ve had a good date with someone who you really like, and then they ghost you. I think you have to realise though that there is a reason why the other person just wasn’t feeling it. Regardless of the reason, it wasn’t meant to be and you should try to forget about that person and move on to the next. It seems like you were getting on well with this girl and had a nice date, so if she didn’t appreciate that, it’s her loss.

Title	Had a great first date, now I think I'm being ghosted
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	21
Comments	83
Date	September 21, 2022 4:15 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xk9bcf/had_a_great_first_date_now_i_think_im_being/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/had-a-great-first-date-now-i-think-im-being.1249603 https://theredarchive.com/post/1249603

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