how do you go from casually chilling at your place to fucking without being awkward?

runaround_fruitcop · 2022-07-18T17:09:33+00:00

Stand up. Seriously. If you have a counter or something. Pop a bottle and have her lean on the other side as you both just stand and sip in some drink and chat it up. That chemistry is like social lube and then maybe get close to her to get her empty glass. It's about just having a good time with her and showing her the only thing that's happening is you two talking and that there's 0 pressure. She'll feel so much more at ease and be more apt to wanting to have sex with you than first just immediately going to the bed. The idea of being lead can be annoying to us. We know the damn destination. We know how it's gonna end. But make the journey fun to get to. Take us on a tour. Show us your collection of whatever and chat and be friendly. Not immediately " let's go to bed so skin contact can happen"

n0msayn25 · 2022-07-19T01:13:30+00:00

Why do genuine questions that lead to good advice threads get downvoted? Askseddit is fucking dead anyway.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-07-18T16:49:27+00:00

Play any song that has a wha wha guitar part in it.

P7o7s7t7a7l · 2022-07-18T18:33:32+00:00

You shouldn't kiss to gauge interest, you kiss to show intentions. Also, depends on the floor plan. It's customary of my friends and roommates to not just sit and kiss on the couch all night.That would be awkward, unless you lead her to your room.

Also set a boundary for her, if you're home alone, that you can't just do it on the couch. You need to show that you have control over your intentions if she wants you to back off.

If she asks where's your bedroom, and walks into it, it's pretty much on. You shouldn't be in your bedroom with her and your shirt stays on. Really, show the boundaries.

Snakehead004 · 2022-07-18T18:05:06+00:00

It doesn't just start when you get to your place. It's a vibe that's always there. You know how for many guys just being near a beautiful woman makes them want to have sex with her? It's not like that for people who have a lot of options. For those people (some men and most woman) you need to create attraction through interaction. Some people just vibe better and naturally flirt with each other. Starts with eye contact. I look everyone in the eyes while talking to them but the WAY I look at my mom or friends is VERY different from how I look at a woman I'm attracted to. You see the flirty eyes couples who are just starting to date give each other? Those eyes! Same with jokes and humor. Different jokes for each audience. Same with physical touches. I'll touch my guy and girl friends while talking but it's mroe bro like. Very very different from flirty touches. Same with complements, hugs and EVERYTHING else. I dunno it takes practice and living your best life. Or just being good at faking it, though that will most likely make you into a shitty person and end badly..

Everlast23 · 2022-07-18T16:45:56+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Professional-Ad676 · 2022-07-18T20:23:56+00:00

the real question is how do you get her to come to your place

VinceBrogan8 · 2022-07-18T18:25:48+00:00

Break the touch barrier.

Based on 'initial kiss', I'm writing this with the assumption that this is the first time hanging out. So invite her in, show her around a little bit (not the bedroom, not yet), and do something in the kitchen. As an example, do something where you're both standing. Squeeze behind her to get something out of a cupboard, gently touching her hips from behind while saying, "Stay there" or "Don't move" or "You're ok". Hold your hand up to hers, see who's hand is bigger. Stand next to each other and see who has the bigger foot. If one of you wants to show the other something on their phone, stand next to each other instead of holding the phone up from across the table.

Don't be creepy with it, and you'll know soon enough if she'll get to see your bedroom.

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-07-19T08:09:43+00:00

If you try hard to be a good host she's gonna be even more comfortable but if you act like she isn't even around that's what's gonna make her feel comfortable, she has to feel that you have no agenda so just focus on having a good time with someone you enjoy spending time with and then you gonna see is she flirty or is she being physically close to you so its an obvious green light to make things go forward

TH3BUDDHA · 2022-07-19T13:46:43+00:00

I typically just make sure to sit next to them on the couch while talking. During the conversation, when I feel like it, I usually just reach over, gently grab her chin and turn her face towards me, and do it. If you're alone at her place, she's waiting for you to do that. It's not awkward if you go for it. It's awkward if you don't. After that, just keep escalating things unless she gives a firm 'no' on anything.

Knbnc · 2022-07-18T18:46:42+00:00

Just pay attention to the signals.does it look like she is into you? Are you making other type of contact like touching her leg or arm and she is okay with it? Just trust your instinct, if she looks interested it doesn't matter how you do it, it will work. Try to not overthink and be present, let things flow.

-Mavs · 2022-07-18T18:13:57+00:00

NFSW: Go for her inner thighs just above the knee. Rub for a little bit while looking at her (see if she’s receptive). Then initiate a kiss into (hopefully) a make out session, go for the boobs, blah blah blah.

Alucard805 · 2022-07-19T06:57:48+00:00

Make out a little and have her sit on your face

mahbius · 2022-07-19T00:29:16+00:00

Post an update OP

Prestigious_List5878 · 2022-07-19T12:25:45+00:00

Get her on your lap while showing her something on your computer or something but think of it this way if she at your place with you alone then she's already interested. Girls are not naive in those type of situations

Nullroute127 · 2022-07-19T06:55:42+00:00

A girl that's willing to go to your place is already pretty comfortable with you. Some exceptions are you're in a college dorm, etc. where that can happen casually. Basically, if it involved any intention with effort on her part, without undue resistance to be at her/your place it's a good sign.

Any move that involves physicality is a a good place to start. For example, you might notice she has some design on her socks. You might reach for her leg to get a closer look, or place her leg in your lap, depending. You could tickle her feet, massage her calves etc. You can use her response to this to gauge her desire for escalation. You could even do a power move like putting your legs on her lap, and over the top boisterously (to imply playfulness) say, "The king demands a royal leg massage fair maiden of ____" She might sarcastically respond, "But of course my liege!" As she crushes your leg with an evil grin. She might just buy into the frame entirely and do it.

Basically, playful touch, kissing, heavy petting. If you get resistance, pause, build comfort/value, and try again later

DatingCoachSebastian · 2022-07-19T08:35:16+00:00

She must not feel pressured into sex or sense any desperation from you. Take your time when you have her back at yours, it’s about timing things well. It’s only awkward if you try too hard or become impatient. Get close to her, touch her and go in for the kiss. Then break away and talk for a little more, maybe play truth or dare. Then go for a kiss again when the moment is right. The less you make sex a big deal the more likely it will happen. If it doesn’t happen on the first 2 / 3 dates it doesn’t mean you’re doing something bad, but if after that things are still awkward, you may be doing or not doing something wrong.

VinceBrogan8 · 2022-07-18T21:37:24+00:00

Step up or shut up, Portland.

Does your mom know you're online right now ?

jh3kd · 2022-07-19T12:10:28+00:00

When I lived alone I had a small one bedroom flat. I had no sofa in the living room, only a bed and a chair in the bedroom. Every girl I ever took home was willing to lay in the bed.

recyclablebanthas · 2022-07-27T14:51:52+00:00

1

how do you go from casually chilling at your place to fucking without being awkward?

The key here is:

If she agreed to chill at your place alone with you, then that's a clue that she is likely down. Not 100% certain, but pretty likely.
That said, having the confidence to just make a move is important.
And equally important is paying attention to her responses to moves you're making.

2

like the initial kiss to gauge interest how can you go about it without it being stiff or basically just awkward?

It's always going to be a bit awkward. The key is to contrive it so you're hanging out in a calm scenario. Like:

Watching a movie. Good excuse to put your arm around her. And from there, pretty easy to turn and lean in partway for a kiss.
Note: Again, it's important to be paying attention to her responses and giving her room to express what she wants without forcing it. So if you lean in for a kiss, go between 50-80% or whatever, and let her advance the remaining distance.

And overall, if she's down, she'll be working with you. So if you make a move in that scenario, she'll go with it.

People come up with often lame excuses. And if someone is up for it, they'll go with it.

2022-07-19T00:13:02+00:00

I'll look at it. Btw it's not blaming people it's called the truth.

Delicatestatesmen · 2022-07-19T06:43:21+00:00

pull ur cock out

Hot_Theory7451 · 2022-07-19T10:19:14+00:00

Có â

cityfeller · 2022-07-19T11:10:00+00:00

I’d start by finding someone to have sex with…

2022-07-19T06:41:11+00:00

Say her lips look wet and than look her in the eye and at her lips than lean in.

Everything from there comes naturally.

Try and build up to it tho, when I first did it I thought there was some magical way that everyone knows and does but me, there isn’t. It probably will be awkward but that’s ok just laugh it off or make jokes about it or both.

Stop taking it so seriously and just have fun 🤩

alexmaycovid · 2022-07-19T09:03:20+00:00

First you do. What you were going to do. Chill, watch movies then later cuddle on the bed, then make out, then unbutton your button it almost always will be enough

Fantastic_Sale_7940 · 2022-07-19T10:36:41+00:00

Whip it out brah

EthicalSeduction · 2022-07-19T12:06:31+00:00

Being at your place is fine but have you already created the attraction and chemistry between you both? That's what is needed! If you have that, then you can sit closer, start touching, and see if that builds to going to the bedroom. Focus on building the attraction.

Friartuck74747t · 2022-07-19T13:07:17+00:00

Or...Boom Chika ..Wahh Wahh !

Charge36 · 2022-07-19T14:47:00+00:00

Ideally you've built up a bit of tension already and go her comfortable with being physically close to you and touching you. Take it slow. show her around your place. Give her a little shoulder or neck rub. Massage her hands. Its all about taking little baby steps on physical escalation while being attentive to her comfort levels and responding accordingly.

Syl_A_Med · 2022-07-19T16:39:08+00:00

Start casually touching early in the date so it's normal later on (shoulder, arm, hand). Get close to her when you're chilling and find some reasons to touch her. "I can read palms" is a good one especially if you can't and can say something like "you're going to have a steamy romantic encounter in your near future". This is just off the top of my head, there are tons of ways to "kino escalate". Just make sure that touching her is normal by the time you get to your place and you should be fine.

Title	how do you go from casually chilling at your place to fucking without being awkward?
Author	_Turiya
Upvotes	168
Comments	138
Date	July 18, 2022 4:40 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/w23wqe/how_do_you_go_from_casually_chilling_at_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-go-from-casually-chilling-at-your-place.1254166 https://theredarchive.com/post/1254166

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