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[–]Velociraptor2018 39 points40 points41 points 4 years ago (31 children) | Copy Link
From a fellow introvert learning all this too, it's not an excuse for poor social skills. You don't like going out because you don't practice, so you don't go out and you don't get any practice. I'll give you an example Friday night I went out to two bars, had a great time by myself talking to people. Even got a phone number. Saturday I stayed in and recharged. Just put yourself out there but remember to take some time for yourself.
[–]KinxTheTimeStripper 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link
What kind of things are you learning from going out?
[–]wetsock10 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link
How to talk to ppl, social cues, things to talk about, and having fun and letting loose like a goose
[+]KinxTheTimeStripper -9 points-8 points-7 points 4 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link
No examples? Ok
[–]wetsock10 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
Examples I didn’t that they were required, anyways example would be going out everyday say right and you’ll tell that your getting better at socializing because you’re having more exposure to socializing
[–]KinxTheTimeStripper -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
But how do you get better at talking to people? How do you know you're getting closer?
If it's possible to "learn" then why doesn't anyone even remotely attempt to explain it
[–]PermaFrost49 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
The are mainly two reasons why no one "really" gives examples. First of all there is no real right or wrong on how to hold good conversations. It's subjective.
Secondly you can't really put it in words. Your probably know it yourself... With some people a conversation feels alive and fun and with others it's just completely boring.
I think conversations are good if both sides have "fun" and both sides want to keep the conversation going.
For myself conversations are fun, if it's not serious information exchange but playful banter with some humor and teasing mixed in.
People who can make a conversation interesting and fun are often described as charming and witty. Maybe it gives you an idea
[–]KinxTheTimeStripper 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
THERE'S NO RIGHT OR WRONG ON HOW TO HOLD GOOD CONVERSATIONS. SO IT'S NOT A SKILL. (Even though the guy in the top comment specifically said it's a SKILL you can PRACTICE)
I completely give up on you guys even having a rational narrative.
Especially since you didn't describe any of the flirting or banter.
I don't know why I expected this sub to say anything substantial.
[–]StrawberryOne5835 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Have you never talked to anyone ever? Maybe you should be back in kindergarten since you’ve clearly missed out on the “how to make friends” lesson
[–]KinxTheTimeStripper 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
"Making friends" =/= "getting closer to seduction"
If having sexy conversations is kindergarten level, I fully expect you to tell me how to do it and get laid every time.
It seems like half this sub needs to go back through elementary school
[–]PermaFrost491 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Being good at making friends = getting closer to seduction! Both of these things need nearly the same skill set.
One important thing more... I think you misunderstood what seduction means! Seduction can't get you laid everytime, with anyone. It's just a smoother and faster way to close a potential match, if the other person already likes you. It's nearly impossible to convince/ change a persons mind if they don't like you from the get go.
The most important thing is still your appearance. If your appearance is not on point then you'll have a hard time!
[–]StrawberryOne58351 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Thanks
[–]KinxTheTimeStripper1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
It's nearly impossible to convince/change a person's mind if they don't like you from the get go.
So it's still based on luck, way more so than making friends and having basic conversations.
Also, you still haven't explained how to learn those "skills". How do I know when to make a conversation emotional? What is good body language? If it was a simple skill, you could explain these things, and why they help you get laid.
[–]Apart-Maximum-7395 -4 points-3 points-2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It’s actually impossible, all examples given online are lies. You’re not gunna fuckin make it
[–]geardluffy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Why are you asking for “what” instead of accepting “how?” They just told you what you need to do in order to improve your social skills and you’re asking for literal examples of how to improve. You are you, no one can tell you how to articulate, how to have positive vibes, how to flirt, how to banter, how to react to awkward situations, how to introduce yourself, etc. those are things you have to learn through trial and error.
The most people can give you are theoretical anecdotes, those may work or may not work depending on your personality. People don’t get better by succeeding all the time, they get better by failing and tweaking their strategy. Social skills are a skill, you have to practice to get better, no amount of theory or advice will make you magically a social butterfly with no awkward moments.
[–]KinxTheTimeStripper 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
There was no how. The "how" was go out and practice, which means you have no idea whether you're any better. It's not a skill that can be practiced if literally no one can tell you how it's done. Then it's just banging your head against the wall with trial and error. Which also involves LUCK. It's almost like the stupid narrative is breaking down...
[–]geardluffy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You were told how but you want what. How to get better is by practice. What you’re asking is too specific for anyone to articulate. You want words to say in social situations? There are no magic words, you yourself have to learn how to communicate. Everyone has their own set of expressions, taking someone else’s words do not make your own speech patterns genuine, that is not how you will improve.
You WILL start with awkward moments. You’re going to have to learn to be comfortable with failing because that’s how you will know what not to say. You don’t want to put in the work and expect results to just fly your way. That’s not how the world works, you have to accept that first. Socializing comes with experience and if you yourself don’t put yourself out there, you’ll never improve.
You have to listen in a conversation, show genuine interest. When someone expresses them self, ask them why they feel that way about the topic. Relate a similar experience or an experience that makes you feel a certain way. Instead of reply “oh that’s cool” try saying things like “oh I’ve never done that, is it really fun?” In terms of approaching people, it’s varies on social cues. Warm eye contact is one of many visual cues but how would you know them if you don’t expose yourself? Are you going to approach a girl even if you know those cues? If you don’t accept that you will have failures you’re never going to try because you WILL get rejected, no matter how great of a talker you are.
[–]KinxTheTimeStripper 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Okay... there's a small problem with what you're saying. I've approached hundreds of people, trying different things each time, and never gotten farther than one date. Which means there's luck involved.
Which means the notion that it's guaranteed, and that it's a skill you can jUsT lEaRn, is bullshit.
You saying "put in the practice, and eventually you'll win" definitely isn't how seduction works in my experience. Because trying these simple things you said, hasn't worked, over a gigantic sample size.
Thank you for the tips though, that's a lot more than most people in this sub are willing (or able, let's be real) to post.
[–]Old_Tree_3864 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Don’t talk like this and it’ll help
[–]KinxTheTimeStripper 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
But what other things will help?
[–]Old_Tree_3864 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I was referring to the terse reply-shutting people down, generally expecting things from others is a sure fire way to being alone. Been there.
What other things will help?
You're saying what won't work, and that doesn't help at all
[–]Old_Tree_3864 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Also don’t do what you’re doing
Okay cool all my problems are solved
[–]Velociraptor2018 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hard to put into words. Just kinda learning how to flow a conversation better, home around, come off more friendly and/or flirty. I think it's just about making a strange environment less daunting so you can relax more and feel less of that energy drain. Plus you learn about different types of people, which girls you can vibe with, how to approach, that kind of stuff
One thing that could be good to practice is looking for some way to relate to a person. Friday I was hanging out at this dive bar and started talking to this older couple. It was my first time there, I asked if they came often. They said "no, were actually visiting from Florida. After talking for a bit turns out they're really into whiskey. I am to, so we had a good conversation about a shared interest. Its that kind of stuff that makes a night out fun.
[–]euphoric__ant 4 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
How to build connections with women beyond usual questions, how to be a seductive guy who is sure of himself, social cues, how to generate topics on-the-fly, how to stand in a loud room full of people talking and be comfortable with a smile, how to find people who are open to chat, how to open a conversation and be valuable in an interaction, how to get rejected and not care, etc
And how do you build connections with women?
How do you become a seductive guy?
How do you learn not to care when you get rejected?
If these are skills that can be learned, you can teach them.
[–]putcoolusernamehere 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I kinda disagree with this. If you’re an introvert and don’t get joy from going out at night, then it’s a perfectly legitimate strategy to just put all your eggs into the daygame basket and try to meet girls at places like coffee shops, book stores, college campuses, etc where you can have a deeper convo and don’t have to be in a hyper social environment that overwhelms you.
[–]Velociraptor2018 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh I agree, go where you enjoy spending time. You'll find like minded people too. I never specified going out at night, just kinda in general. Like, during 2021 I never went out anywhere, and not from fear of COVID. I had to get myself out of that mindset and break the pattern that put me behind socially. I think I posted like a week ago I finally asked out a girl during the day. I'm far from perfect in this lol. It's just putting yourself out there and breaking that cycle, be it at a coffee bar, juice bar, or the bar... uh... bar.
This. It is about developing social skills. An introvert can have them. It just takes time and patience. It is easy to mistake introvertedness for bad social skills and just decide you are fucked. You aren't.
If you want women you need social skills, it hurts because it is a long, painful, road. But it is a worthwhile road to walk.
[–]Velociraptor2018 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agreed, with my current living situation I'm not able to take anyone home, but Friday I was out and spoke with a girl only for a minute and knew I could have taken her home if I wanted to. Feels good
[–]RProgrammerMan 23 points24 points25 points 4 years ago* (10 children) | Copy Link
Salsa dancing is good for introverts and is a very healthy way to meet people.
[–]UnderstandingNo4813 36 points37 points38 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
maybe if you’re 40
[–]Novel-Note7101 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmaoooo
[–]CloutComputing 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I notice a lot of suggestions here are definitely for older millennials and Gen X's. Younger millennials like myself and Gen Zers (although I could probably be classified as either or) are left out to some degree, especially if we're out of college.
[–]RProgrammerMan 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's good where I live
[–]recyclablebanthas2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
The salsa demographic is typically in the 20s-30s age group. Mostly 20s. High energy movement in the dance encourages this.
It also tends to encourage fitter people because if you're not in some kind of shape, you can't keep up with some songs.
The older demographics tend towards ballroom. Like 35-60-ish.
And of course, college dance clubs throw everything off because there tends to be a group of college-age kids involved in all the dances as long as there's a club for it at a local college/university.
[–]nopenotmedude 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is 100% the best advice you will ever get to your honest question.
[–]epimpstyle 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
In 1958, Bruce Lee (that muscle guy) was the Cha-Cha champion of Hong Kong.
Dancing is not a shame.
[–]RProgrammerMan 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nice, I didn’t know that
[–]xzpw 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The clubs are so loud though. You’ll never get a single conversation in. So unless you got incredible face or body game - you’re not getting anywhere there.
Also - at least where I live (SF) - salsa is for Hispanic and Filipino and Vietnamese folks almost exclusively. Not in that group? Better fuck right off cause ain’t no one wanting you there.
Definitely a downside, outdoor events are nice
[–]putcoolusernamehere 25 points26 points27 points 4 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
Cold approach is the perfect way to meet girls as introvert.
[–]KinxTheTimeStripper 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
How so? Never worked for me
[–]wetsock10 24 points25 points26 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
U fail u learn, U keep going cold approaching and you’ll be confident with women
[–]KinxTheTimeStripper 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
When, and how do you know
[–]beatsbyares 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Just do approaches on your normal days. Make it a habit and just do it. Keep it 1-3 approaches every other day until you become comfortable with it. I was hesitant at first when I did it but I kept doing it till I got results which helped with my approach anxiety. You just gotta take the dive and do it ;)
[–]KinxTheTimeStripper 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I already do that fam :)
Difference is I don't get any results
[–]Zenterus 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Then your approach/personality/game is the problem. Share more about your experiences.
But they said if I keep approaching I'll magically get confident
[–]putcoolusernamehere 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You’re going to have to go into more depth about your routine for anyone to be able to offer better insights.
[–]KinxTheTimeStripper 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A blow to everyone who wants to pretend this is super simple. "Cold approach" isn't a catch all answer.
[–]DraftInfinite1685 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Keep talking to them then learn to be self aware and figure out your problem
[–]KinxTheTimeStripper 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
"Figure out your problem"
How do I do that Sherlock?
[–]DraftInfinite1685 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Is being self aware that read or could you not read
"Be self aware" is vague and not actionable. That's exactly like "just get laid". Do you think I'm not already trying?
[–]putcoolusernamehere 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I’m speaking specifically to it’s merits for introverts, not it’s overall success rate. It allows you to choose when you do and don’t want to be social, and you get to meet people when your energy allows it. You don’t have to maintain this exhausting large social circle, you can just go talk to girls when you’re in the mood and do your introverted hobbies the rest of the time.
[–]rogueinfiniti8 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When are you updating your name to something cooler!?🙂
Gotcha, thank you
[–]xzpw 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is a great way to view it! Amazing - I’ve never seen that perspective described that way here.
[–]Shadow__Account 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Its a hard road, but every little win will feel amazing, don’t accept the idea of being an introvert it’s very fucking limiting, everytime you’ll get out of your comfort a little your ego will pull you back because you are an “introvert” as long as you’ll have that image of yourself you’ll never be out there being social without your ego pulling you back eventually. Just make little trips outside of your comfort zone and those will slowely build your confidence, work on the issues and anxiety you have that are holding you back. It will be a lifelong journey and it will have many very hard and depressing periods where you want to give up, but it’s worth it
[–]stephanienyc108 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sports, as in co-ed ones
[–]shaggy2gay 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Cold approach is king and daygame is king of kings.
[–]lookinformyglasses 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Whats daygame?
[–]shaggy2gay 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Cold approach in daytime locations like malls, coffee shops, etc. Pickup done in not-bars-or-clubs.
[–]lookinformyglasses 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ohh... is it true that you end up with quality women through daygame
[–]xzpw 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not really. It’s mostly about trying to get laid and not much else. Obviously some will be quality but I don’t hear that much from here.
[–]bill1bill1 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
i also consider myself as an introvert, i don't like social events and meeting new people, i'd rather read books and working out rather than talking to people, but hey if you wanna get a girl honestly you need to go out there and meet women, you don't need to be funny or flirty, you just need to interact with them and overtime as your confidence starting to get better, your game will also get better
[–]excentrik-art 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Yes you need to get over it and start making friends. Even if you will have really introverted girl, you will never keep her if you will have no friends. I know it sucks, but thats reality
[–]KinxTheTimeStripper 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What do you do once you have friends
[–]liquid_vulture 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Idk i heard it's good or something
[–]joy_collision 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Leverage your social circles as best as possible if you are introverted. That's one tip that has helped me meet women by word of mouth.
[–]NoJackfruit5641 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Make a rule to talk with four girls daily
[–]TheTriPolarBear 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m one of the most uncurable introverted man. Every effort to change that proved to be in vain for 43 years now. But I managed to find a way to get over the anxiety of meeting new girls with technology. So I started a tinder account and for about 3 years I exposed myself there, being as honest as I could about me. That really worked for me and now I’m in a almost perfect relationship. Good luck with that and be patient. Good things will happen naturally.
[–]Zealousideal6669 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You dont have too many other choices than being comfortable with people. How to do that? Simply spend more time around other people. Look for an activity that you like, if you find girls there then awesome, you got the same interest so you already have something to talk about
[–]RepulsiveCat1681 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well idrk. but a universal tip for dating is to go to the same (social) place regularly. Could be a cafe, beach, store etc. but ig if you’re introverted, go to a place where you feel comfortable, for me (i like anime) so i go to a japanese bookstore (just for example!!). also go to more than a few places regularly, like don’t just find a nice waitress and put all your eggs in 1 basket. try new things n people. But again, not super introverted so i’m not 100% sure :))
[–]skyk3409 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It was loads easier for me to talk to girls online vs in person. Helped me find common ground so I could build up confidence to talk to them in person!
[–]WhistleVSH 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Join a club or activity and meet a girl there, use your shyness as an advantage to be sensitive towards a girl who wants a genuine bond.
[–]5_7pickup 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
You go to places where there are girls you want to meet and introduce yourself to them. It really be that simple folks.
You wouldn't be able to tell us what actually works to attract them though. That part: not so simple.
I've talked to hundreds of girls on campus and gotten about 2 dates. Dating is completely fucked
[–]5_7pickup -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would be able to. I teach it. Go read my field reports in my profile.
why are you on the warpath in this thread to discredit cold approach
[–]KinxTheTimeStripper 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm on the warpath to getting something marginally more specific than "cold approach" or "have confidence". Like is there some reason no one posts specifics in here?
[–]shaggy2gay 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hard / impossible to distill the skill of cold approach down to one discrete soundbyte that fits in a reddit comment. Look up vids from credible instructors, Todd V and James Marshall are the two best.
[–]recyclablebanthas1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
1
However, I want to stop online dating and meet girls in person.
No one starts out being a social butterfly. Most people need their alone time. None of that's strange.
2
You could go out to a bar and effectively throw yourself in the deep end by trying to establish a social life for yourself that way amidst all that chaos.
But it would be the equivalent of taking someone who doesn't know how to drive and throwing them behind the wheel of an F1 formula racer and asking them to do their best to take a lap around at a hundred miles per hour.
You want an easier way? Go find some social groups that hold regular social events. They post their information on social media platforms like Facebook.
You go to the social media platform and you do a search for [your city] + [a hobby/interest/activity].
Then you browse through the Groups or Events tabs until you find something that looks interesting and you go to it.
You can sample a number of different things this way and have a variety of different experiences.
Look, you could do this a harder way but low hanging fruit is therefore a reason: grab it. These kinds of things can allow you to build up your social skills in a comfortable environment where everyone's expecting to be meeting new people anyway.
You try something like this out, then you can always try cold approaching or walking up to random people in bars when you're more comfortable.
[–]CocoBabeNYC -4 points-3 points-2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol. You either want to fuck women or you want to go fishing and hang out by yourself. It seems like you are not horny enough to want to fuck women.
[–]UnderstandingNo4813 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol you’re gonna have a rough time. Men will come to you though.
[–]unfinity2 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Sometimes we get really lucky and girls hit on us?
[–]LongHairedKraut 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
And usually those sorts of girls are quite extroverted, at least the ones I've met that way were
[–]unfinity2 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For sure mostly.
[–]chocolateegg1233 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Stop being a introvert Its not helping you Change yourself
[–]incognito3107 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Being introverted is more like a preference of spending your time and expressing yourself, you should still take part in some social interactions from time to time. You can develop some anxiety if you cut yourself off your fears while still feeling in need to face them.
You should still find your compatible way to meet women just like any extravert, just start small. Focus on 1 on 1 interactions, learn to make short casual conversations.
[–]AccomplishedFlow2606 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well I do have few friends and I usually reach out
[–]alexmaycovid 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I meet online
[–]Lucazzz14[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
By doing what I enjoy (solo or around people, I.e the gym) and keep myself open for conversation and smile at people. As much as I love doing stuff on my own or being on my own, you do have to go out there in order to meet people.
Where can you go? It depends on your interests.
[–]RoyalChallengers 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bro first try to start to initiate conv to a girl, maybe like if ur in college, take notes, then say thankyou.
These little things will matter the most, in ur conv initiation process. Then use the dan brazilian method. Try Talk to a lot of girls everyday, many would be uninterested at first, but at end of the day at least one or two would saya yes for coffee or will give their no.
No matter how much attractive or unattractive you find her, if you start to roam around with girls your market value will increase and your confidence will boost. Then after that it's easy.
Make sure if you wanna get along with famous girls try to get into parties. Famous girls are always at the parties or girls who try to be.
[–]SheikisGod 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We don't meet girls cuz we are shy :)
[–]Canadian-Seductioner 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How do you guys that are introverted (like me) meet girls?
By becoming extroverted. Introversion has a strong correlation with insecurity and a lack of confidence which are unattractive traits and girls have a tough time distinguishing between them. Being social and extroverted has a strong correlation with the opposite which is extremely attractive.
[–]jjboy91 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm not attractive enough for girls to see me as a potential partner 😅
[–]poly_nerdy_panda 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hey fellow introvert here, sorry dude that is just an excuse not to own up to what you want. I've dated some crazy outgoing chicks I think the big key for me is go out with friends who don't mind talking to a brick wall, or find some friends who are girls who like going out and push you not to be so just about that fishing, hiking,gym life.. or when you're on a hike and you see anyone try to talk to them.. In Los angles, they had hiking meetups. A last ditch thing would be do barre in your town and invite all the women out because they will think your gay anyways and just shock them when your not lol
[–]martyr1337 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Force yourself to behave extraverted and talk to women
[–]DoctorForesight 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It seems like all I can is do pretend not to be an introvert and just get drunk and dance like crazy at the club. So far the only results I've gotten is making out with the least attractive girl at on the dancefloor 🙄
[–]SadBox4529 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
As an introvert I just pretend to be an extrovert….
[–]WilhelmTrooper 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Girls can tell when a guy is approaching them just for sex or a relationship, they’re not stupid. It’s a lot of pressure. Plus, you seem desperate. I’m 19, and in high school and my first year of college I felt the same way. I wanted a girlfriend more than anything. But then I realized how problematic such thinking was.
Do some introspection. You really want a relationship, you want to meet girls, you want to find whatever tip or fix it will take to get a girl to be your girlfriend or sleep with you (I can’t tell which). Why is that? Why do you want that so badly? Is it because you want validation or you want someone to be there for you and carry you because things are tough right now? I’m not saying I think this is what is wrong with you specifically, but these are the kinds of questions you should be asking.
Women, hell people in general can sense when someone isn’t self sufficient and confident in themselves. Maybe not consciously but definitely subconsciously. It’s a lot of baggage and pressure to put on someone and is an immediate turnoff. Relationships are supposed to alleviate stress not add to it.
Something that I’m working on right now is I’m trying to make myself more desirable. I haven’t anybody in about 5 years, and I always wondered why. Then I realized, the problem was with me, and the more I think about it now I see plainly how I wasn’t someone people would want to date. Now I’m eating right, starting to go to the gym, picking up skills and hobbies to build my personality, really putting in the work. Relationships are a two way street. When people say “work on yourself” they mean it. You need to be self aware and make yourself as good as you can and as desirable as you can.
Also, don’t just immediately try to go for a relationship with someone, you’ll come off as needy and/or desperate. Just try to become friends with girls, and if romantic feelings come up form you than great! Express those feelings! Something that I realized about myself was when I wanted to date girls I wasn’t liking those people specifically, but I was doing 2 things
1) Thinking with my other head
2) I wanted the idea of dating, but not that person specifically.
Now, I know I’ve talked about myself a lot, and I don’t actually believe all of my experiences apply to you, but I do think there is a chance that you can find some wisdom here, and if not than ok, it’s ok to be a completely different person than me, I’m just trying to help :)
[–]LongHairedKraut 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I could have written this post. I myself used apps as a crutch for the longest time but now I want to actually try real life. It seems daunting but something has to give. Wish I could offer you any advice but I'm in the same position as you.
[–]humptyone 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
From what you wrote, the first thing you need to do is go where the girls are. Maybe join a hiking club, or any club that you find interesting
[–]LimitlessHarmony 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dance. Yoga. Anything that moves your body. Motion creates emotion (Tony Robbins)
[–]Mtoufga 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
R u addicted to pmo
[–]dangercat415 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
PMO?
[–]Mtoufga 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Porn masturbating orgasm
Basically if you watch porno stop watching it
[–]Paradise_Princess 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bumble/tinder
[–]PopMart_1997 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Facebook groups
[–]Algo2Pete 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Low carb diet, intermittent fasting and workout. Oh also I watched a few Dan Bacon's vids on yt. Works for me. Gl bro.
[–]LongHairedKraut 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
For advice on diet and training read The Strongest Shall Survive by Bill Starr, that's a good book
[–]Algo2Pete 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks. I'll check it out.
[–]LongHairedKraut 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There's a pdf of it on the internet somewhere, the book itself is out of print tho. The program in the book recommends that you do power cleans, if you've never done those either learn them from a coach or do high pulls instead.
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