[deleted by user]

recyclablebanthas · 2021-10-04T02:55:19+00:00

1

I’ve seen what good looks do. My friends don’t even have to try.

This post had to be taken down because it breaks Rule 6 regarding assumptions about physical appearance.

2

I’ll walk up to girls and start talking to them and they give me the weirdest look every time.

I would recommend reposting in AskSeddit and supplying exact details of what your approach looks like:

What your opener is if it's canned or how you come up with your opener if it's not.
What kinds of things you talk about in conversation after the opener and how you come up with these things.
A recent example of an approach that resulted in the the weird looks you're talking about.

Social interactions are complicated. To give a similar situation, can you imagine if you posted to a subreddit about PC troubleshooting and didn't give information about the parts in your computer or what exactly was going wrong and when? They would take your post down and ask you to do it again with more detail.

So that's a second reason why your post is being taken down. (Again, this content does belong on AskSeddit.)

kimpalonen · 2021-10-03T18:26:10+00:00

Perhaps we should value our own opinions of ourselves more often than we value opinions from everybody else.

Electric_kundalini · 2021-10-03T15:50:44+00:00

You said in your other post that you have no game and that you assume Women won’t like you. That’s the problem. You don’t have self belief. You think you’ve already failed before you’ve even approached. Start believing that you’re a snack and Women would be lucky to have you. It’s a cliche answer but stop comparing yourself to your friends it’s not helping your confidence one bit regardless of what you believe is the reason for their success.

Cmonsterfishing · 2021-10-03T16:26:48+00:00

Confidence is wayyy more than a smile and ease of conversation. It’s in the way you hold yourself. The way you walk, the way you stand while conversing, maintaining eye contact.
Ask them a question that they feel compelled to answer. Once they answer your question, keep asking open-ended questions. Think of YOURSELF as the trophy! You’re simply offering your TROPHY self to other women to trial.

Jay-Ames · 2021-10-03T19:31:40+00:00

It's that smile that kills you. Yes, confidence is not the only thing. There are other factors. One of them is being congruent.

If some of the parts don't quite match, girls get distrustful of the guy. So this may be a your case as well. That smile is put on and not real.

(And now comes the part that is controversial and gets down voted)

Also, when you come smiling at a girl you are kinda sucking up to her, which lowers your value. She doesn't want a guy lower in value and status than her. She wants one higher.

Next time do it with a different mindset. Don't show her how cool you are. Come with a mindset to see if she is cool enough for you

ButtFucker7500 · 2021-10-03T19:53:29+00:00

I have to disagree bro. I’m extremely good looking, no cocky shit. my confidence is down bad. Due to this, women have chosen way uglier men than me just because my confidence was lacking and clearly wasn’t enough to completely attract her.

Looks and confidence together is a pussy bender. That shit will have there pussy wet while they talk to you.

Uoger · 2021-10-03T17:34:05+00:00

Confidence is more important than looks… unless you’re an obese smelly bastard. Your confidence/social skills are probably horrible.

cormacru999 · 2021-10-03T22:53:54+00:00

Actually, confidence is one aspect that can get you a good relationship without being the most attractive guy. It's very important for men to understand that anecdotal evidence is not evidence of fact. Your personal experiences don't mean that you now understand all women or all men or what make what work & the other big thing that people do wrong, especially men is believe they know why women won't respond to them, when its often other issues. It is probably what you are saying that they don't like or how you say it. How do you know, for sure that your confidence doesn't come off as cocky or arrogant? How do you know if you're good at opening conversations? What exactly do you say to these women? Where exactly are you approaching them? Have you talked to your friends about what they think they are successful at?

And let me tell you something, I'm by no means ugly but growing up at the end of high school when our whole class was just starting to date, have sex, go to parties, watch local bands, etc, my friend Eric not only was dating a stunning girl, but he was having sex constantly & he was really not that bright. He was funny, & he could be sort of sweet, so girls liked him & in my mind, he was never the most handsome kid we knew, but boy, every girl ended up with him at some point.

Girls never walked up to me & initiated romance & for years I felt like I sort of had to "convince" them to like me. But in reality, I was very confident, I just had a sense of self worth & believed that I deserved good things if I was being good. I shared stories, music, I wrote poetry, I would draw them & I was a good guy, I'd never take advantage of any of them, I'd protect them if they needed it, defend them if they needed it & I never, ever expected that any of them owed me something. Kindness for kindness's sake.

And pretty soon, women started responding, pretty soon I was dating anyone I wanted to date. Pretty soon I was sleeping with multiple women. Sadly, this created cockiness, this created abusive characteristics, but a lot of that was pain from a failed marriage & constant drugs & alcohol use.

But my point is, this idea that handsome men get the girls is dumb because they rarely stay in good relationships, & if you just want sex, there are aps for that. Ain't nothing wrong in paying for it, its an old profession. But if you want a real romantic relationship, you need to learn what women are looking for & women are not all looking for the same things, so decide what you want, then find out what women want that too, learn how to communicate well & make yourself worthwhile.

Chuck_MoreAss · 2021-10-03T17:37:34+00:00

Start exercising my guy.

Try new hair styles and experiment with facial hair. Your clothes might be a lady killer in the style department so see what your friends are rocking. And don’t get yourself down my guy. Try meeting women with less attractive friends so you have the edge there.

Stabbackqwert · 2021-10-03T18:29:30+00:00

attraction is multiplicative. looks x confidence x status/social skills. notice how having 0 in any one kill attraction, but having some in everything is better than being carried by one.

msgs · 2021-10-03T19:34:17+00:00

This subreddit is fundamentally about controlling and changing what one can control. And breaking unproductive habits one might not even know is hindering them with women.

Of course if you are tall, rich and handsome life is much easier with women. Success breeds confidence. It's a feedback loop that's easier for the attractive.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2021-10-03T15:52:12+00:00

So you get weird looks when you talk to girls, but that doesn’t matter as long as you can turn it around by what you tell them.

NoNameAnonUser · 2021-10-04T01:13:27+00:00

In my experience I've seen so many beautiful girls dating ugly guys. And it's not even about money, cause they are far from being rich. Most of them are not even middle class. How do you explain this "phenomenon"? It always baffles me. Of course it's about confidence, maybe charisma. There's no other explanation.

RandomName200012 · 2021-10-03T16:54:54+00:00

Charisma != Confidence, people usually mean charisma when they refer to confidence

oncfrl4 · 2021-10-03T16:41:32+00:00

be clean & take care of yourself. you'll attract the best girl possible for you.

2001MThrowaway · 2021-10-03T15:34:47+00:00

Yep it’s the combo. Good looks + confidence, they usually go hand in hand anyway.

wolflion20 · 2021-10-03T17:46:55+00:00

only rich people can be ugly and still get with women.

kjackrel · 2021-10-03T18:23:54+00:00

I think you need to stop lying to yourself

AelfredRex · 2021-10-03T21:23:30+00:00

Fake confidence is still insecurity.

sadhak_x0 · 2021-10-03T20:35:31+00:00

Some women will negotiate their standards and some women won't. No need to have feelings about this fact.

1bdollar · 2021-10-03T19:45:02+00:00

Do you understand woman are people just like you?

CountFocus · 2021-10-03T17:58:04+00:00

Looks definitely matter. However, confidence is very important.

Problem is, most newbies think confidence can be faked. Newsflash it can't be faked and women have a sixth sense for spotting neediness and if you try to fake it until make it I can assure you that you're trying too hard to be cool therefore coming as needy.

_Lucky147_ · 2021-10-03T18:21:20+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2021-10-03T18:48:44+00:00

Yeh it’s about looks and confidence. Ppl keep saying confidence first but it isn’t, a good looking guy who doesn’t have much game or personality will still get girls. An ugly guy with confidence can yeh maybe talk to the girl, but maybe won’t get with her. Agree with ppl on here who say maybe you need to not put yourself down, maybe you are more attractive than you think. And if you ain’t you know what, just accept it and go for the girls that are in your league. Have fun with them, either that or work on yourself a heck of a lot, gym, make sure your teeth are ace, always good hygiene and all. That might help

Anurag-Here · 2021-10-03T19:03:01+00:00

Very true shit

Effective_Youth777 · 2021-10-03T19:53:48+00:00

Trust me, it's hard to fake confidence, you need to have it in you.

IntimidatingBlackGuy · 2021-10-03T21:02:28+00:00

You'll get there. Don't give up!

I'm an attractive guy who can't get girls because he lacks confidence. But we need to keep pushing forward 🙂

Neil1398 · 2021-10-03T21:33:43+00:00

Nah it’s definitely confidence or a certain aura surrounding you. I’d say if it’s not confidence, it’s a guy that knows how to have fun, and has good energy. So really just having good charisma

Sufficient-Cry-9163 · 2021-10-03T21:35:46+00:00

I'm a woman and I find overly confident men to be a turn off tbh. I like introverts. I don't want a guy who is too afraid to go out into public or wants me to make phone calls for him cause he's scared...but a normal functioning adult who is kinda shy is cool with me.

You may be interpreting their looks wrong. The weird look might just be their nervousness showing on their face.

outsidecan8 · 2021-10-03T21:44:15+00:00

game = applied charisma

But the thing is, there's lots of very charasmatic confident men who don't get much action. I have a boss who is ridiculously confident and manly and charasmatic etc, but none of the hot young girls who work for him want to bang him! They all want to bang the good looking mechanic who works next door in the warehouse lol

Looks are basically attraction

It doesn't mean that 'game' doesn't exist. It does. And it's important

But it's for AFTER attraction. Not to create it! It can't do that. Same for pua techniques. Girls don't care about your DHV stories and pushpull lines if you're not her type.

putcoolusernamehere · 2021-10-03T22:24:13+00:00

The most important thing in meeting women is taking initative. If you are good looking and confident, odds are you'd still struggle to find dates if you aren't approaching women in some way.

TheNoobtologist · 2021-10-03T22:43:42+00:00

A confident person doesn’t care about how pretty their face is. As others have pointed out, attraction is a function of many different attributes. Focus on changing what you can.

ringchef · 2021-10-03T22:58:39+00:00

Having confidence while being a social retard is not attractive. You have to be congruent.

Grallmab · 2021-10-03T22:59:37+00:00

Yh they get numbers easy but what can you do with good looks if you have no confidence or game

mrrooftops · 2021-10-03T23:08:59+00:00

21 . Says it all.

Leviathansplunge · 2021-10-03T23:42:12+00:00

Things may be different depending on your region, but walk around any large venue or strip mall around here and behold the amount of couples where 1 person is drastically more fucked up looking than the other, like a complete mismatch. You got model quality girls walking around with some ogres. Take the restraints off and talk to the hottest girl you see anywhere you go, you'll be fine.

StormTAG · 2021-10-04T00:08:44+00:00

I’ll walk up to girls and start talking to them and they give me the weirdest look every time.

Sounds like something else is the problem. I mean, your friends with looks have it on easy mode, no doubt. Unless you're quasimodo, looks probably aren't your issue.

jaredhasarrived · 2021-10-04T00:26:43+00:00

Guys with good looks but no confidence (like me) find this hard to believe.

MetaphysicPhilosophy · 2021-10-04T01:12:10+00:00

This just seems like complaining to me. You can't really change your looks. You can upgrade your style, change your haircut, have better hygiene, etc, but you are stuck with your face, height, skin color, etc. Therefore, you should stop focusing on your looks and comparing yourself to every other guy. I used to literally have girls eye fuck me and come up to me and tell me I was sexy when I was younger because I was really good looking. The funny thing is that nothing ever happened with any of those girls because I was very nervous and unconfident. Other less attractive guys did better than me because they were go getters and actually knew how to talk to girls. Now I am less attractive, but confident, so I have much more success. Confidence means more than you think. Work with what you got. Don't waste your time causing yourself unnecessary suffering focusing on things you can't change.

shrubed · 2021-10-04T01:34:46+00:00

This post can be summed up to: I’m not confident Wait I am confident Good looking people get more girls Poor me

scenesick2 · 2021-10-04T01:45:35+00:00

what happens if you have good looks but you can't hold a conversation for 10 seconds, you're boring af, unconfident, stutter, nervous af, nothing to talk about, and unfunny?

Contrast that with an average looking dude who is confident, funny, not afraid of saying the wrong things, playful, and charismatic?
I'll let you decide.

TheSunshineMan · 2021-10-04T01:58:03+00:00

Learning proper game is way more important than just looks.. by 10x+

There's plenty of good looking 8/10+ on here that are still virgins at 25/30+

VS

You can be average looking and still pull tons of girls.

2021-10-04T02:04:37+00:00

Pretty much.

There’s no level of game, personality or confidence at this age that’s getting you in bed with a girl who thinks you’re ugly.

FaithInStrangers94 · 2021-10-04T02:47:15+00:00

This is the advice I sign up for 💪

ljyljl5555 · 2021-10-04T02:59:15+00:00

Bruh, my best friend is a chubby with residing hairline guy, he is our group social butterfly, Mr Charisma. The women he fucks hang out together like good friends (they might/might not know about each other sexual relationships,all were strangers beforehand).

21yr is very young, hang out more with guys who are in their late 20s or 30s who carry themselves well. Guys who are willing to share, generous and chill are the ones you are looking for. They have abundance mindsets, don't mind the little things, yet work hard on what they enjoy/passionate about.

Edit: You are probably still a student, i'm in my thirties, if i can go back to 20s with my current knowledge and exp, i would bring my thick skins and talk to any pretty girls i fancy. Just talk, no expectations, enjoy each other company, genuinely curious about their lives, if it to something so be it, if nothing so be it too. :D Btw, there will be lots of childish entitled ladies (as do guys) but colleges are where you would find pretty ladies. Cherish that opportunity my dude!

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	135
Comments	111
Date	October 3, 2021 3:32 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/q0k2yt/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1275048 https://theredarchive.com/post/1275048

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