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Lotus_82 · 2021-09-21T23:39:29+00:00

There’s a few traits that make a guy a MAN: - A man gets up in the morning and goes to do something that requires effort. Work, art, sports, whatever. A man works on his body, his mind (is always learning new things), his social status and his wallet. Complacency and laziness are extremely unattractive traits to most people.

A man knows how to “subdue his passions”, as we say in Freemasonry. It means that a man is in control of his emotions at all times. No one can “get to him” and get him to lose his cool. Not men, not women, not the IRS. No one.
A man is seen as a source of strength and comfort to his friends and family. He knows how to listen to others and he projects an energy that makes the people he interacts with feel more calm and strong after they interact with him.
And last but not least: a man isn’t judged on his words, he is judged on his actions. Actions speak a hell of a lot louder than words, and there’s nothing less sexy than a guy who’s all talk. Who brags about his pseudo-achievements. Men SHOW the world what they’re made of, and the ones who do rely on words aren’t taken seriously as men.

Those are the constants by which I measure how manly a guy really is. And I see a fair amount of guys who want old school gender roles with their girl but who themselves aren’t what a 50’s-60’s wife would look for in a husband, including the qualities that make a “manly man”.

Shit, most of the guys who say they want trad wives don’t have the career, the masculine Don Draper type confidence, or the money to own a house nice enough for a woman to be content not working and staying at home to raise her crotch goblins. Most of those guys don’t have the qualities of a trad man yet they delude themselves into thinking they’ll attract a trad chick while maintaining their video game addiction and not being a catch for the women they want to attract.

Guys who get bitter and who then insult women who rejected their offer to date over text, I’m looking at you. Guys who think they’re nice but who lose their temper when they don’t get what they want and then say some shit they regret later, I’m looking at you.

Do you ever see James Bond losing his temper? No. James Bond feels great about being James Bond. He’s secure, therefore he has nothing to prove to anyone.

There’s nothing sexier than meeting someone and sensing that they’re so secure that they’re above our likes and dislikes. That nothing we could say or do would rattle them. On men, that’s the very definition of “big D energy“. But it’s just as sexy on women.

Not only does that confidence put out an energy that all humans naturally gravitate towards, but the fact that we feel “powerless“ to influence them makes us naturally attracted because we want to put out the same energy as they do, we want to figure out their strength, and what they have that we don’t that makes them this way.

You know those Facebook statuses that wannabe bad boys and Nice Guys (Tm) make about what badasses they are? About what old school gentlemen they are? They’re really just reminding the world that they’re not to be taken seriously, and they’re basically reminding women never to date them. That’s all words accomplish when they are not backed by actions.

Edit: I hadn’t realized that I had left out half the post and had somehow pasted it in my drafts last night. Sorry about that. I was high.

Shitcracker · 2021-09-21T21:34:52+00:00

Think about your reason for living. Understand human psychology, the duality of evil and good. Get to know the wickedness of the world by reading and the strength of your body by training. Begin to comprehend the paradox we live in called life. You must be able to see that you are a unique individual and yet the problems and fears that plague you, are common. Know thyself, know what makes you happy. Define what successful and satisfaction mean to you. Develop your own creed and mission. Find your vocation and cultivate your passions. Read about archetypes and how they affect you. Meditate on death and the nature of reality. Learn about masculinity and femininity. Learn to let yourself losen up in the dance of seduction and to relish in the feminine energy surrounding you. Come to terms with your past. Accept and forgive yourself for being human and making mistakes.

I can't name specific books because there are too many but off the top of my head biographies, Philosophy like stoicism, Economics, War strategies and war history and maybe some really mind bending anime (or maybe not, that's just me 😅), Psychology about human interaction and how humans behave in groups, how we make decisions. But you can only learn so much from books.

TLDR : Isolate yourself for two days from everything i.e. job, Uni, friends, family, Netflix and think about the questions that arise in your mind and try to formulate a plan on how you're gonna find the answers. Your initial approach may be wrong but it's important to get started.

mystylejay · 2021-09-21T18:30:03+00:00

The solution is in the question, not in the answer.

Why do you not feel a "man"?

What is a man for you, and why you think you are not?

Which goals will make you feel like "a man"?

How much do women matter in your "manship diet"? 100%? 50%? 10%?

State a prototype a man you would like to be (not Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise, dude....those are tough stuff, mostly driven by marketing)

18Mandrake_R00T5 · 2021-09-21T23:41:13+00:00

How To Be A Superior Man By David Deida

DaydreamingMister · 2021-09-21T19:40:25+00:00

The question is, did you read "3% Man" at least ten times - like Corey recommends... (while also using the Youtube videos to supplement the book info)?

Because if you did, you might not be here still asking the questions you're asking.

woyak4643 · 2021-09-21T20:35:57+00:00

“I know what I want but I am afraid to go that path.”

Being a man is literally the exact opposite of this statement. Being a man is knowing exactly what you want and taking that path REGARDLESS of how afraid you are of it.

CLAPPERSFARGO · 2021-09-21T18:28:04+00:00

Atomic habits - James Clear (NB!!!!)

The way of the superior man - David Deida (this one is a difficult read but does have some good advice)

Rich Dad, Poor Dad - Robert Kiyosaki and Sharon Lechter

itdoesnotmatterbro · 2021-09-21T22:44:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SnooHesitations4922 · 2021-09-21T23:00:12+00:00

You don't need resources or books, u need faith in yourself. Faith requires action, it ain't just a way of thinking. What is stopping u is mental restraints u place on yourself unintentionally due to the state of society. U already are on your way because u don't care what people think, this is good, and the opposite is also true, most other people don't care what u say or do, and this also is a good thing, it means your are free.

Remember that both the good and the bad things make the man, it's all how u handle it, the universe ain't out to get u its out to build u. I was actually told by my father that I and my brothers became men the day we faced our grandmother in a pine box, sometimes painful stuff has to happen.

I would try the power of writing. If u have a goal or anything u want to do, write it down and write down your plan, no matter how small or minor. I used to literally write down stuff like 100 push-ups, 100 situps, 100 squats, 10km run, check bank, get coffee, have witty banter with coffee chick. The power of writing is serious, it has a way of making u hold yourself to what u want to do.

FaithInStrangers94 · 2021-09-22T01:32:57+00:00

I could suggest self help shit by Peterson or jocko or goggins or Manson

Or some heroic survival stories like unbroken, endurance, mans search for meaning, the gulag archipelago, the road.

but really the change needs to be internal, and it’s possible you could read these without altering your mindset at all

Mad-Draper · 2021-09-22T02:31:58+00:00

Just remember when you’re down, life can change in an instant. 3 months from now you can be a totally different person.

I wouldn’t focus too much on ‘masculinity books’ because frankly a lot of the ‘men’ who write them have never really done anything.

I will recommend two authors, Jocko and David Goggins. These guys teach leadership and mental toughness that will help you throughout your life, no shortcuts and no excuses.

Asleepystudent · 2021-09-22T03:56:30+00:00

Step 1: set a goal for yourself. Could be lose 5 pounds, read 10 books, etc. Set a goal and stick to it.

Step 2: Find a passion that lights your soul on fire. Could be painting, signing, biking, etc. etc. Everyone is GREAT at SOMETHING. Find your thing.

Step 3: Do things for others. They best way to make yourself smile is to help others smile first. Go volunteer at your local soup kitchen, orphanage, something.

Try to do these three things. Read how to win friends and influence people. It's great and it'll help.

Spinuchi · 2021-09-21T23:25:07+00:00

There are tons of reaources ive used over the years but all for specific things. Money management, relationships, buolding businesses, overall personal growth. There is no 1 direct book or source to provide for you. As others have stated find out what areas you want to grow in amd begin there. 1 step at a time, imo being a man means growth continually. And at the pace you desire..

You are 24, when i was that age i was nowhere near the man i am today. In the last 4 years life has taken me so many roads, taught me so many things and with that ive grown. Dont compare your timeline to others, compare your ambition and willingness to be better to others.

Uoger · 2021-09-22T00:17:10+00:00

Just a piece of advice here.

Don't say sorry if you aren't actually sorry. Saying sorry too much makes you look like a bitch. Definitely do not try to appease people. You'll thank me later.

Yarmanite · 2021-09-21T18:35:05+00:00

Get a job.
Move out.

That's really all there is to it.

ORIONFULL23 · 2021-09-21T21:21:11+00:00

13 things that mentally strong people dont do

RedditMadeMe091320 · 2021-09-21T23:23:08+00:00

“The way of men” by Jack Donovan really helped me

immoleight__me · 2021-09-21T23:41:33+00:00

1_The wall Speaks 2_Rational male all 4 3_The way of men

dumandanonymous · 2021-09-22T00:38:52+00:00

Iron John by Robert Bly. This book will teach you what is required to be a man.

Tonytonytony13 · 2021-09-22T04:04:19+00:00

Jordan Peterson & the way of the superior man

jgutierrez1994 · 2021-09-22T05:40:20+00:00

Nice try boy. Real men either don't read or don't know how to read!

TheConnoissuer · 2021-09-21T20:23:56+00:00

Study stoicism.

jbo99 · 2021-09-21T21:48:56+00:00

Being a man is about being a strong competent doer. That’s it. Find what you can do well that benefits you and the world and get really good at it

Laizzes_faire5-3000 · 2021-09-22T01:21:26+00:00

Going into that path you fear will make you a man, that's all you need. you dont need books to teach you how to be a man. Facing challenges will turn you into a man.

DaJosuave · 2021-09-22T03:10:06+00:00

Very simple not that easy.

Take more risks that you want.

Adapt, and overcome.

sigmashroom · 2021-09-22T11:25:02+00:00

I was gonna say f*ck books and just hit the gym, learn a martial art but I’d say read The way of the superior man and The king the warrior, the magician, the lover

Yummy_Castoreum · 2021-09-22T01:33:50+00:00

You don't have to "become" a man. You're already a man, so that part is done.

Now, what qualities do you want? Develop those. People who value those things will value you. And that includes women. What are you good at or interested in? Pursue those things. Other people interested in those things will value you. And that includes women.

This comment section in particular and this sub in general are waste dumps of toxic masculinity for insecure douchebros, so your best bet is to ignore them. Seriously.

Fuck stereotypes of masculinity and femininity. Fuck "game" and the shitty class of men and women who participate in it. Pursue and develop what matters to you.

TheSunshineMan · 2021-09-21T20:25:21+00:00

You're on the right track..

This should be Step #1 before even doing game, because you can learn 99% of it within a few days if you know where to look.

If you don't know what a man is, and how to be one, you'll never be great with girls.

Dating/relationships, whatever.

DM me and I'll send you a great link to check out that'll give you everything you need.

HappinesSource · 2021-09-21T19:00:16+00:00

Steppenwolf

Business-Purpose-724 · 2021-09-21T22:25:56+00:00

Dangerous Men by Lowell Seashore

Alfixes · 2021-09-22T00:01:12+00:00

I just started reading "This book will make you dangerous " by Tripp Lanier. Set your own path your way

Puzzleheaded_Ad4360 · 2021-09-22T01:09:19+00:00

Audible: The gentlemas book of enlightenment.

gentnscholar · 2021-09-22T01:38:54+00:00

The Primal Method is a really good book on why so many young men these days feel lost. It’s written by a psychotherapist & tells the of the journey he endured to carve out his place in the world & has practical advice as well.

Ikem32 · 2021-09-22T02:54:00+00:00

Read „No More Mr. Nice Guy!“ by Dr. Robert Glover.

DaJosuave · 2021-09-22T03:10:42+00:00

12 rules for life and Chaos. Jordan Peterson.

MADECEO · 2021-09-22T03:55:44+00:00

:::the way of the superior man:::

fr0ntsight · 2021-09-22T04:37:35+00:00

To ride, shoot straight, and speak the truth by Jeff cooper You need this book

ProfessorZoom80 · 2021-09-22T09:45:20+00:00

Find a purpose thats it.

spicy_simba · 2021-09-22T14:08:34+00:00

I went through a phase where I was seeking the answer and there was always another book,

I ended up accumulating Soo many books and reading none.

I just felt like I had hand brakes on or wheels going backwards, does it sound familiar ?

From my personal experience, just like the laws of newton, I was subject to forces in life, forces that drove me forward and forces that drove me backwards.

Now reflecting back at it these forces were mostly internal, and emotional, I had unresolved fears and insecurities, anxiety. Add to that, shame and guilt, being self critical, comparing to others or to ideals, fantasizing about perfect scenarios just like in the creep song.

Because of this I was in some kind of inertia for all my life, I would see concrete actions like read a book and go to gym and not do them.

I realized at some point that I was not feeling well in life, and then I decided to be open to change and to do the opposite of what I was doing, and to try and experience as many things in life, just like Yes Man.

That process took a long time and went through small steps and a lot of failures, but now when I read those self help books, (because now I have the emotional energy and tools to read a book) It resonates with my experience and things make sense.

I think books are nice, I think experience is nice,

I used to be believe thought drives action, now I believe action drives thought as well, and sometimes when thoughts are stuck I needed to unplug my brain and just do things without thinking. Then plug it again to find it unstuck.

2021-09-22T01:53:58+00:00

Real men don’t need to read books. Go to the gym and lift heavy shit and join a martial art.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-09-21T18:11:57+00:00

Yes, search Google for the pdf of "How to get over the Bitch and grow balls they can't resist". Also Google "Secrets most men will never know about women"

reversedbydark · 2021-09-21T23:35:19+00:00

The 3% Men by Corey Wayne. You can find it free.

2021-09-22T02:26:59+00:00

The most comprehensive and enlightening thing I've read on manhood:

https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/the-3-ps-of-manhood-protect/

This is an 8-part series, I recommend at least reading the first 3 and then reading the recap:

https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/semper-virilis-a-roadmap-to-manhood-in-the-21st-century/

If nothing else, read the recap, which has specific action steps and resources.

2021-09-21T20:06:35+00:00

Search for Neil Strauss

Ohhhwordddd · 2021-09-22T00:48:59+00:00

Alpha male strategies on YouTube is all you need trust me

bEEsh_plEEz · 2021-09-21T18:13:48+00:00

What sort of man would you like to be?

Tomnoble00 · 2021-09-21T22:54:46+00:00

Your Dad

LifeFeckinBrilliant · 2021-09-21T23:47:21+00:00

betterme2610 · 2021-09-22T00:52:45+00:00

Just gotta do it, .. man. Seriously. Maybe that’s what separates the boys from men. “Doing it” reading books and watching videos can’t beat the manliness of actually diving deep into something. Moving out, careers, hobbies, shit even love. Instead of reading about manliness, read about budgeting appropriately, make sure you can afford to move out even if you need a roommate and do the damn thing. At that point you’re well on your way and even ahead of many

tigermax42 · 2021-09-22T03:54:27+00:00

Richest man in Babylon

TabManx · 2021-09-22T06:40:21+00:00

There is no such thing as a typical man. You don’t want to be someone you are not. You may want to read some self-help books to learn to be a more confident person and value your own self-worth.

natsu901 · 2021-09-22T07:32:06+00:00

you might want to go to r/selfimprovement sub

ANewOriginalUsername · 2021-09-22T10:12:25+00:00

There are numerous sources you can read/watch/look at that can tell you what to do, but expecting to just read a book once or watch a YouTube video is enough to change you, you got another thing coming. It's like studying, unless you actually put your head down and grind to properly understand, practice and repeat, you will never fully be able to utilize what's been presented to you

As for your question these are the following books/youtube channels I'd recommend:

Books: The 12 rules of life by Jordan Peterson, the subtle art of not giving a fuck and everything is fucked a book about hope both by Mark Manson, artofmanliness.com they give some good articles and podcasts about grooming, mindset etc

YouTube channels (some of these people might disagree with but I personally found a lot of their videos helpful): AlphaM, based Zeus/Benjamin sedas personal channel and Alex Costa. They'll give you tips, advice and examples of how to look after yourself

NewlySingleGuy11 · 2021-09-22T12:56:09+00:00

12 Rules For Life Easy and underrated imo.

JP emphasizes taking responsibility and how it gives meaning to your life. Good youtube stuff if your search “Peterson responsibility”.

helpingfriendlyneph · 2021-09-22T13:45:04+00:00

Simple and Sinister by Pavel
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

avm95 · 2021-09-22T13:47:09+00:00

No more mr nice guy

Casanova-Quinn · 2021-09-22T14:45:42+00:00

Here's a good starting point: Want to Feel Like a Man? Then Act Like One

Old_Pattern_2595 · 2021-09-22T16:59:11+00:00

Live your life the way you want to…. That’s all what “being a man” is. No one knows the true answer

2021-09-22T17:04:06+00:00

•Sex god method

•Mate

•80/20 principal

•How to talk to anyone

[deleted by user]

Comments

The Bible

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	132
Comments	116
Date	September 21, 2021 6:06 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/psoceo/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1275734 https://theredarchive.com/post/1275734