The key to being attractive is having power. After years of dating, studying the sociology and psychology of human mating, I’ve realized that the one mutual characteristic that successful men have in the dating scene is power. This post is going to be long and will be talking about inner game. We'll be discussing what you need to be before you head out looking for "the one". But firstly...

What is power?

Power allows a person to take control of his or her situation. It’s what military leaders, politicians, teachers, your parents and even that douchebag jock in highschool have that allow them to control the situation and govern the people without power (or those with little power).

How do men acquire power?

Men can obtain power by being physically strong, being intelligent and/or being wealthy. However, the most important thing that brings these traits together is confidence. Without confidence, you can’t portray power. Because of this, confidence itself, is a trait of power.

Why are women attracted to powerful men?

Human beings have innate survival instincts, manifesting through thousands of years of evolution. Women’s survival instincts tell her to mate with a powerful man because powerful men can provide protection and material resources (this doesn’t necessarily mean that the woman has to be completely dependent on the man, it just means it’s what they desire in a man). Women desire powerful men so that she and her potential children can survive. This is how it’s been since the emergence of homo sapiens. Just look at society's views on marriage. Men are always seen as the bread-winner. Men who do not fit this are not very attractive. Now, you may argue that this isn't the case today. Many women are becoming bread-winners and many men are starting to provide less and less in relationships, thus creating an equal amount of contribution from both partners in terms of income. You may also argue that many men today are very feminine. I agree. But this is just society changing towards equality between the sexes.

These changes in society, however, don't affect the innate desires and innate sexualities of human beings.

Just look at TV shows like The Bachelor. Its titular character is a man who is athletic, smart and always has plenty of money. The Bachelor is very attractive. Another example would be James Bond. He may be fictional, but the fact that he’s athletic, intelligent, wealthy and confident, still gives us a great example of what it means to be a powerful man.

Now let me explain all four traits in depth.

Power Through Physicality:

Out of all of the traits that display power, being physically powerful is the easiest to see. This is because bodies are the first things we notice in another person. We gain physical power by becoming physically stronger and bigger. Muscles bulging, broad shoulders, thick chests and even being tall, all exhibit power through physicality (this is where short guys and some, not all, Asian men have trouble with dating). This is attractive to women not because the media has brainwashed them into thinking this way, but because human beings innately desire health in a mate. Being tall and athletic are healthy signs for a male human being. Also, women want men who are physically strong because it’s a survival instinct to find a physically strong mate. Being physically strong allows men to protect himself and his loved ones (thus exhibiting power). Power through physicality is what initiates attraction in younger people and gives women a primal urge to mate with these men. As such, it is key to short-term relationships due to its ability to create lust.

Power Through Intelligence:

This trait is hard to display, simply because you need certain situations to occur for you to display your intelligence. If you try to display intelligence without a need to, you’ll come off as pretentious and arrogant. Basically, show off your intelligence only when you need to. This will show that you are humble and that you have self-control. Intelligence is a characteristic of power because it allows you to critically think of solutions to problems (remember, power is the ability to take control of any situation). Intelligence and confidence together create a powerful personality. However, without confidence, intelligence will simply make you look like an insecure nerd. Now, intelligence can mean MANY different things. It includes your problem solving abilities, your grades in school, your level of knowledge in certain subjects, etc. It even affects your personality. That said, I'm not delving into personalities. Personalities have far too many variables and requires another post for itself.

Power Through Wealth:

This is probably the hardest trait to obtain, but may also be the easiest trait to display once you have it. It is displayed simply through your material resources: A fancy car, an enormous house, nice clothes, etc. Wealth gives you power simply because you have the money to control your situation. Just look at all the poor men you know or have heard of, whether it be TV or real life: The poor guy never keeps the girl. Now, this doesn't necessarily mean you need to make 6-digits/year. You just need to be wealthy: Having enough money to live your lifestyle comfortably. Wealth is the second most important trait, as it allows you to provide women with material resources and security. It is one of the main reasons why women divorce their husbands (if the man becomes poor). Because of this, wealth is probably the most important trait in terms of long-term relationships. However, simply having vast amounts of wealth won’t keep a woman loyal to you. Money really doesn’t buy everything. Because of this, the last trait is what’s truly important...

Power Through Confidence:

This is the most important trait of a powerful man. Confidence is what allows every man to initiate virtually anything. Confidence starts your day, it allows you to talk people, it allows you to walk into a job interview, it allows you to speak up against people’s wrong doings, it allows you to talk to that 9/10 babe you saw in a bar, it allows you to be cocky and funny at the same time, etc. But most importantly, confidence allows you to display the other three traits of a powerful man. Because of this, confidence itself, is a powerful trait. Without confidence, you’ll be seen as insecure. Insecure men are not powerful. They are deemed weak by their peers. Unconfident men cannot and will never have any sort of a relationship. One must have confidence to even begin a relationship.

I cannot stress enough the importance of confidence. Confidence is what makes your personality great. It allows you to be witty, to be funny, to be cocky, and to be brave. It is everything that makes you a man.

Putting It All Together:

Being physically powerful makes you physically attractive. This is why those “douchebag jocks” from your highschool could get girls. They had confidence and athleticism, a combination that only results in short-term relationships. Long-term relationships require confidence, wealth and intelligence, as it allows you to provide a woman with material wealth and security. However, don’t think that you can live the perfect relationship simply from having a few traits of power. If you don’t have a physically strong body, you likely won’t be physically attractive to your partner. To create the perfect relationship, you have to have all four traits: Athletic body, intelligence, wealth and confidence. This makes you physically attractive (ability to create lust and provide physical protection), intelligence (ability to solve problems), wealth (ability to provide material resources) and confidence (ability to show your personality and display the other three traits).

What This Means In The Dating World:

This means that pick up lines don’t work on their own. There’s no magic phrase that gets a girl to like you. To attract a woman, you need confidence and at least one of the other three traits. But if you have confidence and all three of the other traits, you are an alpha male. The alpha male is the guy who makes all the big decisions in a group. He’s the guy who gets the most beautiful girl in the group. He’s the guy who can attract more girls than he can handle. He’s the guy every man wants to be. He’s the James Bond of real life.

I’ve seen guys use pick up lines, believing that these words have magic, and get rejected by many women. I’ve also seen guys spout the stupidest shit and still get the girl. What the latter group of guys have in common is confidence and any combination of the other three traits. The first group had no confidence whatsoever. How do I know they have no confidence? Because they heavily rely on pick up lines.

Now you might be thinking: “Good looking guys don’t even have to try. They just have to talk to a girl and he’ll get her just like that!”

That’s true to a degree. The reason why these good looking guys get the girl is because they already have so much confidence. Good looking guys exude confidence because they know that they’re good looking. But the thing is, you don’t need to be handsome to get a girlfriend. You simply need to exude that same confidence as those handsome guys. You can do this simply by working out and getting buff. This will give you the much needed confidence boost.

What This Means To The Ordinary Guy:

What does this mean to the average guy? This means that you shouldn’t focus on getting a girlfriend. NEVER focus on getting a girlfriend. Why? Because focusing on getting a girlfriend shows what your priorities are. It shows that you’re very likely to put the “pussy on a pedestal”. It shows that your goals aren’t for self-improvement or the betterment of society. It shows that you’re not powerful. It shows that you are driven by your basic instinct of sex. It shows that you are just an animal.

What does this mean to the average guy? It means that you have to focus on yourself before you start dating. Improve yourself before you start making someone else a part of your life. After all, you wouldn’t invite someone you like to a shit-hole of a life, would you? This means you should try to achieve a strong body, achieve higher intelligence and try to land the best job you can possibly get.

TL;DR:

A man must be powerful to create relationships with women. A man must be athletic, intelligent, wealthy and confident to display alpha male power. You create relationships through intelligence. You create lust through being physically powerful. You create long-term relationships through wealth and intelligence. Because of this, having all four traits creates the perfect relationship: one with love AND lust.

EDIT: Due to the overwhelming amount of people disagreeing about the "wealth" issue, I simply meant that men have to have money. You don't have to be 6-digit-salary-rich. You just have to have money to have a stable life. That is all.

Also, I didn't go in depth with the type of personality one has to have. I simply stated the basic things you need to form successful relationships. From there, I leave the "personality" stuff to you, as that's very specific to each person.

For those that disagree with my points, just go to a club and watch the guys who get women. Sure, they all look like muscley-douche bags, wearing nice dress shirts, Armani watches, etc. But they display power through physicality, wealth and confidence. Notice how I didn't bring the concept of personality or love. You don't really need a great personality to create lust. This is also why that "girl-who-got-away" dated that jock in your high school.

Now look at the successful marriages. Men are intelligent, have great paying jobs (specifically in relation to their lifestyle) and are confident. They're in loving relationships. Notice I didn't mention lust. There are many instances in which sex has all but disappeared in a marriage. Let's look at this in the male perspective. This is caused by a couple of things:

1) The man isn't as attractive as he once was, thus not creating lust.

2) The wife doesn't love the man any more (this has many variables and is hard to explain without making a new post).

So how do you prevent the first one from happening? By being physically powerful. Create lust and your wife will always jump on you for sex. Remember, men aren't the only ones who get turned on by their partner's body. To prevent the second, it's up to your personality.

Put these concepts together and you have lust and love in a relationship. If you don't have one of these, you're not in a successful relationship. The only exception to this are really, really old couples. Lust doesn't play a role in their relationship since they're well passed their lustful age.

EDIT #2:

Some people who have commented make some very valid points:

"This is a good post, and not just about seduction/attraction. This is an excellent post about self-development and personal growth. These broad categories will manifest in different ways for everyone, but they hold true whether you are a "hipster," "jock," or just an everyday Joe looking to work on himself. There is no Ideal Type, just basic area of your life that will not only help you with women, but probably lead a much happier life in general." - MarginWalk13

This is exactly why I didn't mention anything about personality. Also, if I DID mention personality, more people would've been butthurt just because the personality didn't meet theirs.

"Man, people really need to calm down. This post is about what it takes to be an alpha male – nothing else. Good post OP, I think it is all true. Look at guys like Hugh Jackman or Chris Hemsworth. Sure, following these steps in life won't make you a famous actor, but you'll be able to exude the same confidence these guys do. Stay humble, work hard, workout and keep a nice appearance." -WhatHappenedWas

Exactly. It's about inner game and self-improvement. People get angry because I mention ideals that they should be striving for. It is never wrong to have ideals. It is never wrong to strive for them. Saying they're wrong is basically accepting the mediocre. Besides, even if you don't get the girl, you HAVE improved yourself if you follow these 4 traits. So instead of pursuing women and using simple pick-up tactics, improve yourself so that you won't have to. Using pick-up tactics can only get you so far. Improving yourself lasts a life time.