Pro Tip: Stop thinking about seduction

465laker · 2021-11-25T20:28:14+00:00

you can’t convince someone to be attracted to you

This is probably the tough love none of us want to hear. Important though

gangoni · 2021-11-25T23:44:38+00:00

Game is your ability to interact with the opposite sex.

Being yourself isn’t the best advice, what if being yourself is you being an introvert, awkward, shy, scared to talk to people, learning about seduction will help you become better at interactions with females that’s all.

Also shit test are 1000% real, Example: often times when you’re about to initiate sex a female hesitates for a bit even tho she wants to fuck, if you lose your composure you fail, if you are chill about it you pass and the next time you try to initiate 5-10 min later she most likely will be down to escalate further.

Delicious_Ad_1853 · 2021-11-26T03:01:30+00:00

People who are consciously think about being seductive or planning before your dates on how exactly you’re going to break the touch barrier is incredibly counterproductive. Like when you’re overthinking, you’re awkward and unattractive.

I think the thing you're missing is that the rookies in here already massively over-thinking. They're just doing it in random, useless directions.

We teach them the right things to think about and then urge them to practice these social skills repeatedly so that they eventually become automatic.

Not a single person in a happy, healthy relationship has used this sub.

Oh, I get it now. You're just a troll. Be gone, prick. This sub is massively useful to the men that need help and are willing to put in the work.

Abovemeis · 2021-11-25T22:08:35+00:00

Hey why don’t we just get rid of schools and not let kids learn while we are at it.

Idontpostmuch123 · 2021-11-26T00:12:25+00:00

Some of this is true, but most of it's bull shit. The way you behave and the words you say absolutely matter. Choosing not to think about it doesn't make it matter any less. It might make you less self conscious, which may help, but if it means your game becomes way worse that's a big net negative.

5_7pickup · 2021-11-25T20:46:39+00:00

What an ignorant and useless post. You clearly dont know or understand game.

You’re basically just telling men to Be YoUrSeLf. Right up there with “just be patient and let it happen naturally”. Absolutely moronic and useless platitudes like this is what cause men to struggle with modern dating.

Actively learning and trying to master a craft is how you get good at it. You would rather men do nothing and hope for a girl to land on their laps lol.

For those who actually want to learn game, refer to my field reports.

Y_Moya_C · 2021-11-25T21:52:16+00:00

People who are consciously think about being seductive or planning before your dates on how exactly you’re going to break the touch barrier is incredibly counterproductive.

Maybe... but maybe not... if dating comes natural to you, go ahead, live your best life boo. But if you struggle reading social cues or get nervous before dates, if you are an overthinker, having a detailed plan can help calm your nerves, it can help you overthink less during the date and be more present.

Also, developing a plan eventually is going to make you have to think about consent and how is given, wich is always good.

That's why i disagree with you... and i would give men the oposite advice. Think more! Have a better plan! A more detailed plan! Keep learning! Look for better information! Read about psychology!

NateHate1402 · 2021-11-26T01:29:50+00:00

You’re on the right track going the wrong direction.

Sure overthinking and getting super technical will likely lead to shitty game and being awkward but that doesn’t mean you should just be yourself which is essentially what you’re saying.

Many people come to these subs because being themselves isn’t working because they’re self conscious, or socially awkward, or ugly, or all of these things.

They want some way to fix their dating lives or at the very least improve them and “be yourself” is essentially telling them they’ll always be unsuccessful and lonely.

What I’ve always preached is fix what you can in terms of physique, style, financial status, etc and have some core principles of game rather than lots of technical things. A basic example would be non-neediness. This applies to many situations and is simple enough to remember while still being able to be present.

I’d say find three principles at most that you know work and base your behaviour on those principles. This way you don’t need to remember a technique or trick for each situation because all you need to do is ask yourself whether it follows your principles.

But hey I’m just a stupid internet guy so who knows really?

No_North_9856 · 2021-11-26T02:25:51+00:00

I think there´s a lot of misconceptions about this topic, you shouldnt be planing what your going to do, what you should do is learning how and when break the touch barrier and then you will do it spontaneously, learning and with experience. I agree that not everybody is the same but we all have certain aspects in common, like human psychology stuff

Calamity__Bane · 2021-11-26T08:31:44+00:00

Like I cannot believe we got people on here describing the scenario they are in and looking to overanalyze everything with complete strangers who aren’t seducing women but believe they can give advice to you.

Sauce for the bolded.

Every woman is different, and fuck do they know about her or even you.

Different, unique even, but not that different.

People who are consciously think about being seductive or planning before your dates on how exactly you’re going to break the touch barrier is incredibly counterproductive.

Yes-ish.

Like when you’re overthinking, you’re awkward and unattractive.

Yes.

If someone likes you they’ll make it obvious.

It is obvious when you know what to look for.

There is no such thing as a shit test,

Definitely false.

there’s no 100% perfect response to those perceived shit tests

True-ish.

and you can’t convince someone to be attracted to you.

True-ish.

Being yourself is easier said than done

True.

but looking into an echo chamber of Tinder addicts and hopeless romantics quoting self help books is not helpful to you.

Sauce?

Not a single person in a happy, healthy relationship has used this sub.

Sauce?

IrreverentlyRelevant · 2021-11-26T19:01:44+00:00

If someone likes you they’ll make it obvious.

Not necessarily.

Not a single person in a happy, healthy relationship has used this sub.

If by used you mean participated, then you'd be wrong. I'm happily married and I just stumbled across this place.

If by used you mean asked for advice, it's possible the advice was good enough that they never needed to come back. Lol

BluePsychosisDude2 · 2021-11-26T01:11:47+00:00

If someone likes you they’ll make it obvious.

Yeah, this is mostly what I've found from experience. The girls who want to be with me will put themselves in the situation where they'll be around me. If they don't want to be with me, they won't put themselves in those situations. At that point it's just a matter of "escalating" to actually get them on a date, and then if you have been talking for a while "escalating" towards a kiss, and from there it really just handles itself.

If a girl agrees to go on a date with you then she is interested enough to be around you. If she agrees to go on a second date, she's definitely interested enough to escalate physically.

The thing is that the guy has to make the first move 9/10 to get you both out on a date, and then take the relationship to something physical, so escalation is still on the guys here. But in terms of turning some uninterested woman into a slave that can't stand being without you? Not gonna happen. Best you can do is make her interested, and from there get her out on a date. Then, like I said, if she likes you she'll be in for escalating to something physical.

I once read all about physical escalation here and then touched a girl at the bar, and I saw her physically shudder. Wasn't a good feeling, it made me feel like a creep lol Uncalibrated physical touching is pretty creepy to most people, it comes off kind of predatory, when men do it to other men as well, unless it's a handshake or done in a very slight way. You have to start small, and even then if you aren't getting that this person likes you, you can't brainwash them into liking you.

The main example I see other guys say here is imagine an 80-year old obese woman learning a bunch of seduction tricks for guys, coming up and touching you and expecting you to automatically be attracted to her. You probably either are or you aren't, breaking the touch barrier is just one way of getting personal with someone you already want to be personal with and who wants to be personal with you.

Seduction, in my mind, is about intimacy, which sex without intimacy just is kind of garbage in my personal experience. It feels hollow and gross, at least in my experience. And the way to intimacy, with both women and men is getting inside the other person's world. Part of these are the basic keys of social relationships, saying hello, having a conversation, laughing together at something, gradually sharing more about yourself, eye contact, and becoming more comfortable with someone else. This is both the way to intimacy with men and women, the only difference is that with the opposite sex, the intimacy goes all the way to physically being with each other naked, which is an even more intimate act.

pikecat · 2021-11-26T00:39:22+00:00

The thing is, people who know can't really tell people who don't how to do it. You need the experience. You have to sense the situation, know what to do and say without thinking about it. It's all about feeling and not thinking. Once you start thinking, you've lost. You can only get that way after lots of good experiences.

You can tell who on here knows, if you already know how to do it.

dwiggs81 · 2021-11-26T00:47:17+00:00

Yes and no. The two most fulfilling relationships I've ever been in and the best dates I've had weren't planned in the slightest. I was just talking with the girl, responding honestly and truthfully to her, paying attention, and things just worked. The moment of getting that first kiss was the most organic thing in the world and like it just felt right. The times I've been out with my mental list of openers, stories, fall back stories, if-then loops, and whatnot, I was paying attention but only so that I could line up my own next step comment instead of responding truthfully to what she said. And I couldn't tell you a damn thing about who she was or what we talked about.

That being said, some knowledge of game psychology is definitely necessary. There's no way to "make" someone like you, and PUAs who can "get any woman" typically only have that one for a night or so. And there are women who respond positively to that approach. But just like the men who take them home, those women don't get emotionally attached because they know they can get another man just as easily tomorrow. It's all about weeding out the ones who will respond to what you're offering. If you're an introverted quiet artist awkward bookworm, don't go to the club. Find a book club where you can be your authentic self and be genuinely having fun. If you don't like yoursef or what you're doing, it'll always come out and you'll appear fake.

d4rthque · 2021-11-26T04:12:34+00:00

Whiny bitch. Go eat some turkey and quit wasting others time.

campskills21 · 2021-11-26T02:35:03+00:00

You have to consciously consider what it means to be attractive, you need to break the touch barrier to seduce.

ShredableSending · 2021-11-26T02:24:09+00:00

What the hell. Just because you suck doesn't mean none of this is effective. Social engineering works. So does reading body language. When you spend all of your time thinking about it and losing your sense of presence in the moment is when it doesn't, or overthinking as you call it.

Everyone on every level shit tests to make sure they're not getting screwed. In just about every interaction you have that involves a system with some measure of trust. This can happen consciously or subconsciously.

Moikepdx · 2021-11-26T06:16:03+00:00

If ignorance is bliss, you must be ecstatic.

UGoEffyourself · 2021-11-26T00:09:28+00:00

Cool post.

paddywacknack · 2021-11-26T01:27:50+00:00

You're halfway there.

While youre interacting you want to be in the moment.

Afterwards is when you anazlye where you went wrong.

Moejason · 2021-11-26T02:27:37+00:00

I agree with the essence of this but not all of the points you’re making. This sub is pretty toxic and damaging for young men in particular - there’s a distinct lack of nuance here for how to handle male-female relationships and treat women as people, rather than just sex objects. Posters being so caught up in game processes and what not can be indicative of a much more serious issue.

That being said, when I go on dates I get quite nervous quite easily (more so for 3rd/4th dates), so it helps to plan out what id like to ask/talk about etc in a loose form, and think about ways of closing the gap - as I’m not the most touchy with people I don’t know.

The advice on this sub can be helpful, just take it with a (large) pinch of salt

Mrcopeland25 · 2021-11-26T01:12:24+00:00

On the last sentiment I’d disagree I’ve had many happy healthy relationships with many women and I’ve frequented this sub for over 4 years. I’m thankful for it and always took the advice with a grain of salt.

Number1sun · 2021-11-26T01:38:01+00:00

Shit tests are definitely real and it’s important to AA or other method, make sure to pass them. Other than that everything you said is spot on.

2021-11-26T01:58:10+00:00

Yeah but apparently I miss signals and have no idea what to do with them in the moment

Library-Special · 2021-11-26T02:13:57+00:00

Your life as you know it, your reality is a direct result of your thoughts. If you don't find yourself attractive then she certainly won't. You must work on you and make yourself a person you love and this gives you confidence. Yes there are certain things that women are attracted too and one of them is a confident man. There are certainly things you can work on to better yourself that will build the way others see you because it reflects back to how you see yourself.

DeadPlantOnASpeaker · 2021-11-26T03:27:17+00:00

Yet we see the comments from women here, who are in a long term, giving us all advice. Why loosers are seeking advice from other losers and why winners, who even shouldn't be here are giving it? Sure, trust your gut to what you see and read here, filter it, and then you get it. Or not, at least you tried.

Cormagnon · 2021-11-26T04:47:00+00:00

Thing is if I don't think about it I end up not even making a move

Outrageous_Length639 · 2021-11-26T06:11:42+00:00

This

whiplash81 · 2021-11-26T19:35:50+00:00

You don't subconsciously become better at game without first consciously thinking about how to improve. New subconscious thought patterns occur after consciously repeating the patterns first.

This is how the human brain works with learning ANY new still, not just seduction.

shaggy2gay · 2021-12-10T03:44:24+00:00

Bro you want to be in the NFL? Why even learn about football? Every game is different. Pff, fuckin tryhard, dude. Just go out on the field and be yourself.

Title	Pro Tip: Stop thinking about seduction
Author	AdrianMojnarowski
Upvotes	238
Comments	93
Date	November 25, 2021 8:17 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/r25fvc/pro_tip_stop_thinking_about_seduction/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/pro-tip-stop-thinking-about-seduction.1271755 https://theredarchive.com/post/1271755

Comments