Sums up my struggle with external validation and neediness

classylassy28 · 2019-02-07T02:09:27+00:00

Girls get like this too x1000 lol

Edit: Even with abundance mentality. You like what you like.

Hegemon1984 · 2019-02-07T03:40:53+00:00

Every time I get needy for a girl to text me back I hear Austin Rising's (the guy who did the narration for Models) voice say, "Really?"

waffles258 · 2019-02-07T02:40:28+00:00

quality post LMAO

Throwssay12345 · 2019-02-07T01:58:04+00:00

The feels.

DerpyMCDee · 2019-02-07T01:40:40+00:00

Oneitis. Try talking to more girls

poratransformer · 2019-02-07T10:20:04+00:00

I am 35 and married now with 2 kids and an angel muse as my wife. But when I was early 20's I worked my legal articles at a huge firm in South Africa and fell in love with the only senior female partner who was like 38 at the time.

We hit up a great friendship, she enjoyed my humor and I just loved being around her - as she was STUNNING. We would spend hours wasting time everyday - really unprofessional and she would cover for me as she was partner etc.

There was major chemistry between us but she was sooo hot and clever, and had tons of super powerful lawyers and businessman constantly trying to or actually dating her etc, and i was this no-drivers-license- take the bus to and from work, single outfit for work guy - so I stood no real chance (which I only realized years later)

Anyways, the one case she worked that I helped (paralegal) with, was settled out of court when we were prepared for a huge battle that would take ages. the settlement at that time was like 3 times more than the firms highest ever win, which was against a big pharma for a test that had gone badly wrong - so it was mind blowing. We all went out to celebrate and her and I ended up at her penthouse and sleeping together - and from start to finish it was SOOOOO AWKWARD! TMI aside, the night ended up REALLY well for her, but I couldn't finish because I knew it meant NOTHING to her other than a celebration lay and I wanted more. (not saying i was right - just how my naive young mind worked at that time)

I called a taxi and went home early morning (it was a Saturday) - then woke up around lunch and replayed the whole night... and felt so dodgy that it was that unimpressive and almost trashy... but I now thought that because it was physical that it was now something we could use as a stepping stone to something long term...

By the end of the day I had phoned her like 30 times --- like such a stalker cringe... and left so many voicemails... I was TORN inside and so sad.

Come Monday I kept my distance and she was super distant almost embarrassingly professional at the office. I was so mortified at how aggressively i phoned her the next day that I ended up changing firms and actually found my now-wife in the process (no she was not an employee of that firm ;) )

(Very) Long story short, the heart wants what it wants and makes you do stupid things... no matter how head smart you are.

edit: She facebooked me like 11 years later and had a marriage that had just failed and she wrote a really emotional but very well structred letter saying that she loved how "me" I was in a corporate environment and how I didn't conform to all the other males etc and (i still remember this) how the feelings she felt for me were always so pure and deep that it always scared her.

She is married now in Australia and is doing well - and I am married and doing well. And that's all you can wish for, for those you care/d about.

JJwattistheGOAT · 2019-02-07T01:12:17+00:00

Holy shit I thought I was the only person who felt like this

oj109 · 2019-02-07T03:13:29+00:00

I feel like this, but not because I need external validation.

It's more a frustration because they are being impolite by not responding. When I get a text from anyone, I am keen to respond to them as soon as possible because I don't like to keep the other person waiting (because I know how good it feels to get a quick reply)

I don't expect the person I'm messaging to be on my beck and call and I fully understand people have lives to live.

But there's no excuse when I'm chatting to them and then suddenly they go cold (ghosting) for an extended period of time. I mean come on, it takes 20 seconds to type a text "hey, I've actually got something on right now, I'll get back to you in about X minutes/hours" which is what I do.

They feel like they need to control the situation out of a power dynamic - thinking that if they play games, they can control us and make themselves more exclusive/desirable. Same deal for turning up "fashionably late". It's just rudeness, immaturity and a lack of respect/integrity all-round.

When I started seeing this chick (gorgeous in every aspect) who responded straightaway things moved forwards pretty easily and she was the one I ended up choosing to date. Whereas the other woman was like "oh no, I actually liked you all along..." to me after 2 or 3 months of going back and forth in circles of "does he/she actually like me?"

No woman is worth feeling disrespected and experiencing emotional anguish/suspense. They are already toxic and abusive even before you started anything. Both sides should add to and improve the lives of the person they're dating.

schwifty97 · 2019-02-07T02:50:27+00:00

Shit this is too real right now

Dmixta · 2019-02-07T03:23:08+00:00

God damn the timing. I had a date yesterday that seemed great. The days leading up to it we were texting throughout the day. Texted her earlier this dayl like before and I haven't heard back.

Jcbthaname · 2019-02-07T01:53:03+00:00

Abundance.

i_never_get_mad · 2019-02-07T03:32:24+00:00

How do you plan to resolve that validation and neediness? Simply ignoring it, or fulfilling that from other sources?

jewfro667 · 2019-02-07T03:46:33+00:00

Lol this is an amazing image of how I feel.

mysexyrexy · 2019-02-07T06:14:19+00:00

Lmaooooooo I experienced this with the 1st ever date I had with a girl I was bonkers with.

But tbf what happened to me was so unusual that I did not know what to expect.

There was a mutual girl that we both knew.. we both stopped talking to each other.. dno I got bored of her and I'm guessing her the same. She just wasn't attractive at all to me.

When I met my ex I was smitten.. I thought she was perfect.. But she was very close friends with this mutual girl.

They both work at the same hospital.. anyways we were texting and calling everyday and met up twice.. just for familiarity sake.. then we both decided we felt something for the other.. we decided to give it a shot and see how well we do in a relationship. I was so fkn happy I couldn't believe my luck.

Anyways our 1st date was that I was going to go pick her up from the hospital and man she looked beautiful.. I go hug her and was gonna kiss her and guess who walks infront of us? LoL

She shot me a massive dirty and guess what happens? I got shafted and ghosted. Got fully devastated.. and you know what? I'm glad I did.

The lessons I learnt from that small experience was immense. Learnt not to rely on women for happiness and on myself for happiness. Besides if she exploded and ghosted me without talking to me about it for no reason then she ain't worth it anyway.

Dilpil01 · 2019-02-07T02:28:28+00:00

Funny meme but you shouldn't have to pretend to not care if you have other good options.

youcanneverbewhoiam · 2019-02-07T13:08:09+00:00

It's the situation I'm in now.

BonelessSkinless · 2019-02-07T14:56:24+00:00

Find other sources of happiness so your happiness doesn't rely on the whims of a girl. Trust me, it takes effort, introspection and time... but if you can pull it off successfully you won't be bothered at all by not getting those messages. In fact you will crave your self improvement and alone time more than the craving of sweet sweet vagina. Work on yourself, find some real hobbies you like that can tire you out or really preoccupy your time. Become so invested in yourself that you reward yourself with your own actions and do not need to seek outside validation

DajuanKev · 2019-02-07T15:41:31+00:00

Bruh, I relate to this sh!t so incredibly hard.

weallwantsomethink · 2019-02-07T08:10:54+00:00

Still happens even when having two girlfriends.....

Errantsquire · 2019-02-07T05:03:19+00:00

I'm pretty new to this. I met up with a chick at my place. We watched the entire Ted Bundy documentary and I was working her up by stroking my fingers all over her body. So I finally got the courage after HOUR 4 to escalate and we did everything except pen, cause I couldn't get hard. Shes really eager to meet again because I didn't leave her unsatisfied, but TF do I do if I can't get hard next time. She was super understanding too saying it's more common than I think. Aggghhhhhh

wheat_blazer · 2019-02-07T09:11:31+00:00

Made me laugh.. too relateable

Metalman9999 · 2019-02-07T09:37:34+00:00

Damn.. i feel personally touched

benjaminlifestyle · 2019-02-07T11:45:51+00:00

Bro if you be present to the moment you will feel abundant and will attract more women easily! How to meditate

niBBarion23 · 2019-02-07T14:03:58+00:00

I used to have the same problem but now I got rid of it. Abundance mentality didn't work, what really worked was having a higher purpose than getting girls. For me it's doing well in my business and now I'm working hard on that. If you find it, your purpose will absorb you so much that the girls will be the ones waiting for your texts and you will be busy.

hajimenothrowaway · 2019-02-07T16:32:03+00:00

I just think it’s rude as hell and because it’s a female that you’re romantically involved with, you have to not say anything to to avoid looking butthurt, is what’s aggravating. My friends and I don’t leave each other on read when asked a direct question or something like that. It’s disrespectful. We’re supposed to be friends. actually friends. We just fuck too. If the itinerary was to be just fuck buddies, I would have expected nothing at all.

Crashlands · 2019-02-07T16:35:28+00:00

You need to focus on developing self worth. This means working towards non-game goals. If all of your life’s effort is going into game, you’re going to have neediness and abundance problems because your success in game is the only foundation to your self esteem.

You need 3 hobbies.

One that improves/works towards wealth. One that improves/works towards health. One that improves/works towards creativity.

Sometimes, two or three of those things can be combined (for example, an aspiring professional athlete is combining health and wealth).

IWLoseIt · 2019-02-07T19:27:30+00:00

SO. RELATABLE. RIGHT.NOW!!! Fuck me.

TTV-DontEvnTrip · 2019-02-07T21:52:31+00:00

Sad 1000+ upvotes you guys are in the wrong sub. Join lonelyforever or a sub with simps. This is for slayers and pimps . Start paying attention to the real seductive content and grow out of this lame mentality

BeLeafer_1967 · 2019-02-07T22:13:50+00:00

It’s not that I need external validation or approval it’s that I would appreciate if some girls would follow through with their plans and not ghost ffs

Roly__Poly__ · 2019-02-07T23:12:18+00:00

i think a hypnotherapist can end that struggle for you in about 3-4 visits.

source: am a hypnotherapist. check your city's local listing, call them up, ask 2-3 of them if they can do it for you

badass_monk · 2019-02-08T14:07:57+00:00

Thats fucking literally my life.I got a girlfriend finally and everyday is like that.I got tired of it

heavy_rope · 2019-02-07T04:08:23+00:00

Can't relate.

lJMVl · 2019-02-07T05:26:02+00:00

I don't act like that when a situation like that happens... what am I?

Title	Sums up my struggle with external validation and neediness
Author	socrat94
Upvotes	1112
Comments	118
Date	February 7, 2019 12:26 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/anxp5d/sums_up_my_struggle_with_external_validation_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/sums-up-my-struggle-with-external-validation-and.1461929 https://theredarchive.com/post/1461929

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