The No-Fap rule. Really?

Dr_Colossus · 2011-11-16T04:27:23+00:00

Take it from someone who' has stopped doing it. It works. For whatever reason, i go out now and I find woman more attractive than they were before. This might be a result of eliminating porn as well, but basically girls got hotter and my natural instincts take over more.

Edit: I apparently don't read what i just wrote.

graffiti81 · 2011-11-16T04:36:41+00:00

Hey Annonymack, work on your self-image and limiting beliefs. The whole "I'm not physically attractive so I can't get dates," thing is nonesense. Look up Tyler from RSD, even though he's in great health he's far from what most women would call a phsyically attractive man.

But I don't want to spark another "Looks VS Game" debate, so I'll talk about masturbation instead

I'm going to go on a new-age weirdo rant, not against you personally, but the perception most people have about masturbation. Most people, and myself for well over a decade of my life, treat masturbation as some weird mechanical alternative to sex. Most people turn on a porno, sit down, pound away at high speed non stop for 5 minutes and then be done with it. This is not how it should be, masturbation should be a celebration of your sexuality. I started reading about tantratic sex and being mutli orgasmic, instead of pounding away I slowed down and started paying attention to my arousal and genuinely masturbating better. Needless to say, my sessions in the first week of doing that were better than the 12+ years of "no gf tonight lets do it and go to bed." As such, I don't agree with the no-fap rule. Masturbation, in my book, is a beautiful thing that increases my sexual energy and strengthens my self image. I'm not saying everyone should fap like I do, or read the books I do, but I feel we all need a "masturbatory reframe"

With that said, a few months ago when I was starting out I went a week without, and then a week where I did it every day. I spent at least a few hours in field both weeks. This was before I got into "high class masturbation." I noticed no difference in my game outside of the gains I was getting from doing approaches. Contrary to what I read on forums my intent didn't go through the roof and I wasn't ripping women's arms off with the claw.
EDIT: Just wanted to point out having sex has never caused me to stop masturbating either. I guess I'm an addict lol

2011-11-16T15:39:18+00:00

I think of it this way: masturbation to orgasm via pornography is the Fast Food of fapping.

Sure, cheap fast food wanks are good - they make you feel good for a short time, kind of like eating french fries. But a couple hours later, you're hungry again. You're probably going to get tired from all the starch and fat and lack of real nutrition, especially if all you eat is fast food.

Eventually you upgrade to organic vegetables and pasture-raised meats. Your energy levels slowly rise. You start feeling better about yourself for no reason other than you're not bogged down all the time from lack of nutrition. Eventually, you lose the desire to eat fast food, because you've found better-tasting food that leaves you feeling better and better and better the more you eat it.

I am not religious. I'm barely spiritual in my personal life and the majority of that "spirituality" is directed towards psychadelics and the mental experiences they bring. But when I experiment with things like diet and not masturbating to pornography regularly, I can feel the physical change. There is a distinct difference in mental clarity that I compare to what I interpret religious people as having when they find their spiritual center - it is almost a "wholeness". There is a certain energy that is lost when you expel semen - I don't know what it is, I can only describe it in abstracts, or refer to classic terms like "chi". But I know it's there, and I know that when I can contain it, I can then use it to my advantage.

Not using porn to fap is also beneficial for me as I consider it a test of willpower. If I can do something as simple as not touch myself, I can certainly use that willpower I now know I have to do other things... like get really good at creating music, or working out past what I think are my limits, or talking to women I don't know. It also helps that when not masturbating, the only way to release that sexual tension is to go out and talk to women so they can help me release. I automatically kino escalate and I don't even think about it. I automatically become the antithesis of the shy, introverted guy I used to be. I automatically fall into state easier, stay in state longer, and most importantly, I completely forget the idea and desire to be "in state" and instead, just do it naturally.

Masturbation is good. It's healthy. But like all things, it is best done in moderation. Most guys have gone past the point of moderation to the point where it disturbs their social life. When you'd rather sit at home, drink a beer, and wank one out instead of going out and meeting someone, flirting, having a good time and possibly bedding them, there is a distinct sadness present in your life.

I'd rather have fun and fuck, than jerk off and be sad.

2011-11-16T05:08:32+00:00

I think eliminating internet porn is going to have desirable effects, but I don't see eliminating masturbation in general as something that's going to help everyone.

SoInsightful · 2011-11-16T13:37:28+00:00

Placebo is king.

shivalry · 2011-11-16T22:59:09+00:00

UPDATED NO FAP RULE

Buddha would say if you fap, fap consciously.

Don't fap before 10pm or before going out at night, it makes you tired.
Don't fap unless super horniness, not habit or stress relief, drives you to do so.

This fap rule holds true to the principles of the no fap rule while allowing for flexibility, aka not going crazy or tripping over your weighed-down sack on the way to the laundromat.

intermu · 2011-11-16T10:06:48+00:00

Go over to r/nofap and try for yourself. If it doesn't work, okay. Everyone's different after all, but since I stopped doing the daily deed my confidence improved. I still get relapses every few days but I'm working on it.

puaCurveBall · 2011-11-16T18:06:08+00:00

For the record I think this whole thing is bullshit.

2011-11-16T19:48:13+00:00

I got 99 problems but not fapping ain't one.

get_her_wet · 2011-11-16T07:58:42+00:00

I absolutely agree with you on this one. Speaking as a guy who does not get laid, and actually never has, I don't know what I would do if I could not masturbate. I am older than you are, and am at the age where it is embarrassing to admit or even hint at being a virgin, I am still quite far away from the age where they start making a movie about me, but it is still a problem.

My situation is that I am unbelievably shy, to the point of fear. I have been this way for as long as I can remember. This creates a rather large problem, since any time that I speak to someone I do not know, I get nervous, start second guessing myself, thinking that I would say something wrong, which usually leads to me not saying much of anything at all, or sometimes nothing at all. I even have this problem talking to people I do know, just usually not as bad, and as you can guess, this problem is even worse when trying to talk to a girl.

As if the severe shyness wasn't bad enough, life seemed to think that one day I might be able to overcome that shyness, and decided to drop another "fuck you" on me. Several years ago I injured my back, which causes a rather large amount of pain every day. Sadly this is something that I will likely have to deal with for the rest of my life. I go to pain management, and am prescribed some pretty damn strong narcotic pain killers to manage the pain, yet I am unable to do many things people would do in their daily routine. So when I do finally have sex, it will likely be VERY painful. This does suck, because if you have ever taken painkillers, you would know that they can make you last a lot longer.

Edgar_Allan_Rich · 2011-11-16T16:08:21+00:00

If you've ever taken hallucinogenic mushrooms and thought that women became more beautiful, well not fapping is very similar for me. All of a sudden you can see the beauty in even the most hideous of creatures, and personally I'd rather everyone else look hotter than have to lower my standards!

iznou · 2011-11-17T20:49:12+00:00

If you're under 25, go ahead and knock yourself out. Just wank it as much as you want.

Over 25 and especially over 35 you need to save your energy.

Dexter77 · 2011-11-16T12:04:14+00:00

Never mind about the no-fap rule, it's the least of your worries. A bit over a decade ago I was also 60lb overweight. I couldn't even imagine a girl being attracted to me.

After losing that and gaining additional 30lb of muscle in addition to LASIKing my glasses away, girls in night clubs walk up to me to ask my number. I don't consider my face that attractive but it seems the physique plays a major part in the game.

rubygeek · 2011-11-16T14:26:46+00:00

The problem is that it becomes an outlet that reduces your incentive to deal with your issues.

YES, you might very well come off as an oversexed creep if you don't masturbate. But guess what? Based on how you describe yourself, you almost certainly come across as totally asexual to women now. That needs to change.

Slow down on the masturbation and especially on the porn. If you are going to masturbate, at least do it fantasizing about going out and meeting someone, or about a woman you find attractive.

Then find a happy medium - cut back until you notice yourself on the verge of doing stuff that's outright offensive on a regular basis...

Anonymack · 2011-11-16T17:05:37+00:00

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2011-11-16T17:42:48+00:00

I once decided to stop fapping until I got laid. Took me a while and then I fucked a real fat chick.

So you know it's not guaranteerd to be better :)

Oh well DM;HS

MBSquared · 2011-11-16T04:10:37+00:00

Look at it this way, if you don't jerk it, then you want sex more, you'll have more of an incentive to get laid on a date.

If you don't jerk off, you'll want it more and therefore work harder at it. Maybe it'll give you the motivation to make it happen.

2011-11-16T08:29:30+00:00

When I don't do it for a few days I do think much more sexual thoughts when a girl walks by. So it does make me more randy. But does it create a big difference in my game? I don't think so. If anything fapping regularly keeps me calmer around girls and less desperate. And it definitely won't keep me from getting sexual with a girl... It'll take a lot more than recent masturbation from getting with a chick.

graffiti81 · 2011-11-16T08:11:09+00:00

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moltar · 2011-11-16T08:02:39+00:00

It's ok to jerk off. Not ok to replace sex with masturbation. As far as I remember, testosterone peaks around 10 day mark and then starts lowering. So make a rule to yourself and jerk off only every 10 days to reset. It's a good will power training too.

Also if you watch a lot of porn while masturbating, it may, and most likely will cause porn induced ED. So when the moment comes, you won't be able to perform.

sillymallard · 2011-11-16T06:55:10+00:00

Personally, I think the causation goes the other way.

koviko · 2011-11-16T17:03:54+00:00

Worry less about the masturbation and more about your confidence issues. If you don't like the way that you are, fix it.

WiretapStudios · 2011-11-16T17:43:32+00:00

I'm going to throw another wrench in there...I have sexual contact a few times a week, and I still fap - daily if not a few times. I think it's more of an individual thing. I could see how me not fapping would increase game and motivation, and that's worth testing to see if it works for you - but it's not the be all end all answer...

Also - I'm not insanely good looking or anything, I'm normal good looking and still working on losing weight, however I date or sleep with very attractive girls. It's all in how you carry yourself around others, your cockiness (not rudeness), etc. Basically I just slept with and dated lots of girls until I experienced lots of the things that can happen and know how to deal ahead of time. Meaning, some of it is under your control, and some is just natural progression. Work on you dude, and the girls will come running. Good luck!

WolfInTheField · 2011-11-16T18:15:39+00:00

I don't think it's good for confidence, kino etc. etc., but see, you pile up an enormous hormonal drive, and that makes you approach more.

debman3 · 2011-11-16T18:44:28+00:00

My .50 : I read a scientific paper where they say if you don't jerk off for 7 days, the 7th day you get a peak of testosterone. When we went to Prague with some friends, we stopped jerking off so the 7th day we could have that peak. Didn't really notice anything though.

2011-11-17T02:10:05+00:00

r/NoFap REPRESENT!

It's actually not hard at all once you learn self-control. That's actually the most obvious benefit!

CookingSock · 2011-11-16T08:55:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

AegisSC · 2011-11-16T08:43:49+00:00

This post is beyond sad.

Title	The No-Fap rule. Really?
Author	Anonymack
Upvotes	56
Comments	90
Date	November 16, 2011 4:01 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/mdz5j/the_nofap_rule_really/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-no-fap-rule-really.1324965 https://theredarchive.com/post/1324965

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