Turning things sexual

LostInTrainslation69 · 2019-06-09T15:46:56+00:00

you have to make a move brother

she's not going to wait around for you.

dsgk_99 · 2019-06-09T16:06:24+00:00

I’ve blown a lot of opportunities but come on brother this chick is wanting you to fuck her brains out and you won’t make a move, I’d say just go for a kiss next time y’all are together and everything should go from there.

Hmurie · 2019-06-09T16:00:54+00:00

Bro are you fucking serious?

She came out see if you wanted water to give you another chance to initiate on her.

SHE STAYED IN HER FUCKING BIKINI THONG WHILE YOU WATCHED TV ON THE COUCH.

What are you scared of? Do you not like her? Is she gross? No? Then be a fucking man and fuck this girl already come on dude.

I know you got this, this girl had HIGH interest consider you blew two chances and she’s still willing to go out with you, go get her

pearlsongold · 2019-06-09T17:10:48+00:00

Girl hère

If a woman is hanging out around you in her underwear 9 out of 10 times she wants to fuck

Trumppbuh · 2019-06-09T17:11:26+00:00

This hurts to read m8

Jonnywhoop · 2019-06-09T16:45:11+00:00

Stop doing shit with friends. Take her out. Start off slow.

If you’re run jay walking across the street, grab her hand and lead her.

If she’s wearing rings or a watch or even her nail color. Grab her hand start playing with it and talking about it. You can literally talk about the hand and just go on a tangent, but don’t let go and keep playing/intertwining your fingers.

Grow some balls or she’s gonna friend zone you.

Renegader933 · 2019-06-09T17:19:49+00:00

No pressure but blow it again and you probably won’t have another chance

DisguisedDepression · 2019-06-09T17:36:48+00:00

Christ i have wasted some hints, but she is bassicly proxy fucking you at this point.. Dude....

BeLeafer_1967 · 2019-06-09T17:52:24+00:00

If you don’t make a move soon she will be turned off by your lack of testicles

2019-06-09T16:28:05+00:00

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KickedInThePaduach · 2019-06-09T18:06:30+00:00

Dude, she is making more effort than most women will ever take towards seducing a man. Less than half of adult women have taken even one step towards seducing even once. She has been trying again and again with you. Next time you see her ask for a hug, make it last 45 seconds. The key to these things is engaging in courtship behaviors. You don't need this stuff any more, you need to research human courtship. There are some typical behaviors, you don't have to do many of them, but dancing, laughing, holding hands, putting your arm around her, cuddling, massage, kissing, sharing food, baby talk.

Skimpy clothes, coming back out from bed, this one is so obvious. Sometimes it isn't but this is.

Get this going next time, seriously msg her right now and go over the next moment she is free to chill. Eat together, watch something short, with arm around her the rest should just fall into place. Don't forget the long hug when you first arrive. Don't worry about which order these steps happen, she may be so pent up you go from hug, to kissing on so on etc, and then eat after the first round.

manwomanOG · 2019-06-09T16:52:05+00:00

Ask her if she’d like to hot tub alone next time.if yes, you’re more than safe to make a move.

slcdragons105 · 2019-06-09T18:17:38+00:00

the first move is always scary, but brother she's not gonna make that first move.. and if you dont shes gonna move on and lose interest (which you should be confident shes interested). when the timing is right, look her in the eyes, move in for the kiss, i can almost guarantee she'll be receptive to it no matter how awkward itll be in the moment. after that anxiety will turn into gratification, and things will be smooth sailing from there. dont forget to escalate, she'll be all yours for the night after that.

Ulanyouknow · 2019-06-09T16:54:47+00:00

I dont think you need help turning things sexual or heating up the situations with her, she is doing it for you already! Common man! The rest of us havent had it that easy!

You only need to close it. Just place your hand on her knee, look at her in the eyes and go for the kiss. I know fear of rejection is big, but you know that she is into you already. You are here just for that kick in the ass that makes you wake up.

Remember, good quality women dont normally wait for you to get over yourself and go for it. Do it or somebody else will.

vicncak · 2019-06-09T21:19:52+00:00

You seem like the type of guy that would refuse a glass water whilst stuck in a desert

Flexappeal · 2019-06-09T16:24:47+00:00

What kind of unstoppable moron are you lmao

kfglenn · 2019-06-09T17:20:26+00:00

Make a move yesterday

TaeKwonPiccolo · 2019-06-09T17:48:06+00:00

Any time you get a woman alone, you should shoot your shot.

dude432589 · 2019-06-10T00:20:53+00:00

First of all- there’s a good chance this girl’s into you, but play it by ear. Obviously no one here knows the full context- who knows, she could just naturally be flirty, and be comfortable wearing a bikini around others. So don’t take everyone’s comments too deeply (most of the people here don’t know what they’re doing lol myself included).

That being said, I’ve been in the exact situation before. My advice is to escalate. That doesn’t mean going for the kiss out of the blue; that means slowly being more and more flirtatious and gage her reaction along the way. Touch her on the arm, give her lots of eye contact, talk about flirty subjects, drink wine together, and generally have fun and have good vibes. You’ll know if she‘ll want to kiss you.

I made the mistake of waiting too long to escalate (I was too anxious) and the girl lost interest. I knew she was interested in hindsight bc her behavior totally changed after that. Don’t make my mistake man! Good luck.

Fun2badult · 2019-06-09T16:36:26+00:00

Hey bro, if you need a partner to tag in, my hand is up. If you don’t, someone else will. Go for it. Expect to get rejected and it will go well because you won’t give a fuck. She’s in a receptive mood with you. Go for it

MitchISU1 · 2019-06-09T17:17:02+00:00

Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. I get that a failed attempt might be the end of an important friendship but sometimes you have to take risks to be rewarded in life.

When it's late and it's just you two go in for a kiss and let things move on naturally from there. She obviously wants things to move forward or else her time wouldnt be so readily available to you.

SlyderKmK · 2019-06-09T16:31:04+00:00

Stop doing shit with friends! You need to get her alone...otherwise you're going to be put in the friendzone...especially since you dont have the balls to make a move on her.

Saxon2010 · 2019-06-09T16:58:23+00:00

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Madhouse221 · 2019-06-09T22:32:07+00:00

Literally next time you’re alone and you have made her laugh a few times just grab her waist with one hand, her chin with the other and kiss her. It’s that simple, she wants you and you’re fumbling this by overthinking.

caesarfecit · 2019-06-10T02:48:15+00:00

Step 1: Touch her. It's the stepping stone to making out.

Step 2: Tease her. It's how you show interest without being desperate and get some sexual tension going.

Step 3: Compliment her when she's earned it.

Step 4: Treat your sexual desire as a gift you want to give. When the vibe is right, she'll drop enough hints.

Most important of all, get out of your own head, and stop acting like you need to give her some killer line or sweep her off her feet. Seduction is really just indirect communication, giving out little bread crumbs of interest. Right now she's putting out feelers. Put out some of your own and let the situation develop.

And when all else fails, just throw on Beast of Burden by the Stones and do your best Jagger impression. Works best if you're about 6/10 drunk.

recyclablebanthas · 2019-06-10T04:02:11+00:00

1

A friend has been giving me strong IOI’s recently and is almost always flirty.

....hot tubbing at her apartment.......I.....the only single guy......

So right off, this is going beyond "IOIs." She's wanting to spend time with you, while in swimwear, in a hot tub, that's a little different. You being the only single guy invited, also stands out.

This is not the same as "IOIs." We're talking about a girl setting up a meet, almost.

2

That night she was very flirty with me to the point the next day my buddy text me to ask if we were dating.

It's best to avoid any of this sort of he-said, she-said stuff. You can't control whether someone asks, but you can discourage any sort of speculation. It's important in order to keep your head focused on what is real, which involves the feedback you get from her.

3

That night I ended up staying the night on her couch after everyone left. She was in her sleep wear with a jacket on before everyone left. A few minutes later she came out in just her sleep wear without the jacket to make sure I had water and everything. I was hesitant to flirt because of anxiety.

How here, this also goes WAY beyond IOIs.

You were invited to stay the night. You were apparently the only one. Someone could have given you a ride home if she were not wanting you there overnight. Instead you found yourself there.
She lost a layer of clothing when everyone left.
She stopped by and was near you, sitting on the couch with you or standing near you in just her sleepwear.

Part of the process is you having internal talk with yourself. You are allowing negative self-talk to make you afraid and introduce doubt that she is interested. What you do is debate and debunk the negative voices.

4

I suggested we get together as a group a few days later and she was all about it.

Tactical mistake here.

You suggested a group meet when she's clearly down for a one on one.
Like say, a movie night at her place. You cozy up for a movie. Get close, then let the tension build as you watch the movie. After it's over, you have a chance to turn, lean in slowly, and see if she reciprocates the lean in. If she does, you finish it with a kiss.

Regardless, the fact that she was so positive about something you suggested, is an indication that you ought to be making moves. Like setting up a one on one meet, for one.

5

That night we got together as a group we went to a bar that had trash can beer pong with a soccer ball. When we played the game she protested that my buddy wanted to play boys vs girls because it wasn’t fair, I told her to come to my team and she complied.

Seduction isn't about complying. Granted, she did show that she wanted to be on your team, which was good, symbolically speaking. But on the other hand, a flirty kind of competition could have been good as well.

It's not what she does, it's how she does it.

6

She suggests we all to go back to her place to hot tub again, but the group shrinks down to just me and her and a couple who are mutual friends of her and I.

Here's an interesting thought. She might have known that everyone was going to peel off except for those mutual friends.

Do you think everyone else doesn't notice that you and her are two of the only single people apparently in the group? Did you consider that there are a million ways that anyone else in the group could be sabotaging this for you if they didn't like you with her? You seem to have a lot of support amongst the group to hook up with her.

7

It’s pretty common that the four of us hang out together, I’m close friends with the guy and good friends with his girlfriend. After a few hours the couple leaves and it’s just me and her on the couch.

And it is telling that they left you alone with her.

8

We are smoking and binge watching Netflix, but again I’m hesitant to do anything. She’s just wearing her bathing suit, that looked more like a thong, and a sweatshirt the entire time. I decided to leave around 2am but felt like I missed an opportunity.

You did. Dude.

She just tried to Netflix and chill with you and you left right about the time you could or should have been getting naked. Think of it this way, you are blue-ballsing this girl, man!! Cut it out... :P

9

I brought up the idea that we do the hot tub thing again and asked when she would be up for it and she replied “I’m always down.”, so I think it’s likely her and I will end up alone at her apartment again. I don’t really want to blow it this time.

You get "sexual," by physically escalating. That's it. There's nothing special or magical here. You just have to grab your balls and get in there. Start off slow and it should be fine.

Testing her space bubble. Edging into her personal space and seeing if she makes the adjustment to get her space back. Does she move her leg away from yours to maintain distance. And so on.
Safe, non-sexual touches that you could engage in with anyone, even guys. Arm jabs, shoulder, outside of the arm stuff, high fives, etc. Any sort of contact (or expectation of contact like when you put your hand up for a high five) will force a reaction from her as to how much she likes contact with you.
Her reaction to incidental or accidental contact. You can't plan this one, but sometimes you'll bump up against her or something, and her reaction might tell you something.
Overall, it's key that you pay attention throughout this process. You need to be aware of her reaction to you being in her space, or physical contact. It's the only way to know if you are welcome to do what you're doing, or if you should make adjustments.

Levicseki · 2019-06-09T16:52:59+00:00

!RemindMe 1 day

omy2vacay · 2019-06-09T17:23:43+00:00

The dinner is there and you didn't eat it...

Nasone3 · 2019-06-09T22:30:18+00:00

If you are in a hurry to find a girl that is a totally different subject.

But to accept every girl that shows a bit interest in you.. that’s a crazy state of mind unless you just want to hook up. If you think she has everything you want in a woman then why not.

Otherwise, if you feel like you are doing that just because she is giving signals you need to rethink it..

And just so you know, if she is interested enough she will make a move herself.

holliaero · 2019-06-09T18:01:53+00:00

Dude the next you’re with her and she gives you these obvious signs you better make a move. Get close to her and touch her hair and hug her or something, be playful

snakebeats502 · 2019-06-09T18:06:00+00:00

Dude ive dont this a few times. Just for it. It wont be awkward. Start by placing your hand on her leg casually or give her a smile when you do. One of the best moves now would be to text her and ask if you can come over tonight or something. Dont overthink or talk to her too much about it.

SomeGuy578 · 2019-06-09T18:47:44+00:00

It's easy just get physical with her in some way.

Mak0wski · 2019-06-09T19:24:18+00:00

DO A MOVE. RIGHT NOW.

Seriously you don't want to look back on those events and think stuff like "man i really wish i did this or that". It will haunt you. A good tip from a favorite youtuber of mine, "forget the word regret and remove it from your life"

ZedBaby · 2019-06-09T19:37:11+00:00

Just kiss her man- It's that simple.

As soon as you do that, the rest will be so ridiculously straightforward that you'll be wondering why TF you didn't do this before.

It seems she's really into you- if you continue to hesitate in these moments then she won't be for much longer

RocknSock480 · 2019-06-09T23:24:53+00:00

Make the move brother before it's too late and she loses interest. Her being in a hot tub alone with you in a bikini what more signs do you ask for. Just make the move if it works if not what the hell. But I'm sure she's up for it but you won't get much chances. Also let us know how it goes!!!

420KUSHBUSH · 2019-06-10T00:24:23+00:00

Now this is making me ponder all the times a girl has wanted a guy badly while the guy was clueless and nervous, making the girl regret nothing happening. C'est la vie

omnidirectional · 2019-06-10T00:46:33+00:00

Next time,

give her a long back rub

after the hot tub.

clarinet4u · 2019-06-10T00:55:10+00:00

If you don’t make a move, pretty soon she’ll be fucking someone else and you’ll feel worse. Her turning you down is a better fate than her telling her girls how she threw the pussy at you and you choked!

tacticalassassin · 2019-06-10T00:59:57+00:00

I’ve been in the same boat and I’ve done a shit job at it. If it means anything I still don’t know how to make that move either. You’re not alone.

svesrujm · 2019-06-10T01:03:40+00:00

The amount of missed opportunity this man has created is legit giving me anxiety.

zbf · 2019-06-10T01:34:11+00:00

100% you need to pull the trigger and go for it. It seems you guys are constantly alone, the universe is giving you multiple chances and you need to just shoot your shot because she might actually start thinking you aren't attracted to her.

What's holding you back? In my experience, i would just not know what to do or when's the right time; you too? In your case, while you guys are watching netflix, just put your hand on hers then look at her, she's gonna look back at you and just go in. It doesn't even have to lead to sex, just kiss if you want to. The only thing that matters is you made a move. Good luck.

symptomunknown · 2019-06-10T02:17:30+00:00

Dude wtf. You had like 3 opportunities handed to you on a silver platter. You better hope you have another one and if so you have to make a move. At this point it wouldn't surprise me if she feels like you're not interested and has started putting you out of her mind as a sexual option.

SandtheB · 2019-06-10T07:38:39+00:00

This is something that happens to me, she is clearly wanting to be alone with you, you see and you know this. You are also trying to sabotage your own success, by telling yourself that "you won't be successful" or "that you don't want or deserve success with women", don't worry I do this too.

Here is what I do to get past this emotional lock and freeze up.

I remember that: "As long as I am not a psychopath I deserve success with women." and
Fuck It!

"Spoken like a true gentlemen, right? Here's whats up, I'm drawing the line right now. You are not to give a fuck what anyone thinks about you. Ever! The next time you start to do or say something and hesitate because you're concerned about what someone else might think, I want you to remember this moment right now and say to yourself, "Fuck it!" and then go do what you want to do (so long as what you want to do doesn't involve. Hurting! anyone else). The next time you see a girl you want to go talk to and hesitate, say it again. Fuck It! Then go do what you do, all out. Guys who don't take risks lead lives of quiet desperation. Guys who do take risk have zero regrets, and become glorious champions. Life is risk. Push yourself, take risks, drop the filters. Live The Life the 83-year old version of yourself will be proud of. When you bring this attitude into a conversation with a woman, she can sense it. You're a guy without borders, and therefore can take her places she's never been. It also allows you to express your personality as freely as possible. Keep it floating around... "Fuck it." -Capital, Jason. “Chapter One: The Head Inside Your Head.” Make Women Want You.

Now, the guys that are really going to succeed with this are the ones who allow these beliefs to truly form.

Have fun!!

volavi · 2019-06-09T17:56:51+00:00

So you know what's going on and you are anxious. Let's work an your anxiety.

She is obviously into you, and she is now wondering why you haven't made a move. If you don't do it soon, she will conclude that you are not interested and she will move on.

I know where you come from with anxiety, so take it easy. Make moves that you are comfortable with to start with: maybe just touch her shoulder or the back of her elbow when you talk to her, as if you were trying to get her attention. Facing away, and while you talk to her, put the back of your hand on her or belly, then same thing with her hip bone.

Make those little moves you are comfortable with, and you will realize that she will reciprocate with the same level of intensity, or slightly more.

At that point escalate a little further, again, maybe grand her hand while talking, and let it go when you feel awkward. If you feel like you need to justify yourself for holding her hand, say something like "you have soft hands" then continue talking about something else.

At each step of this escalation you will be feeling the same: first, anxious about making the next move, then relieved, and then doing it again will feel just natural.

After the hand I'd start talking to her by grabbing her hip. Again, let it go when you feel awkward, and don't explain why you do it. She's into you, she will enjoy that you are doing it. Girls are much better than guys at understanding subtext so in all likelihood she will naturally come closer and play along.

Now the only mistake you could do is escalate too fast, rush for the kiss, etc. If you escalate that way you will soon be talking while hugging or at least very close, which will be about the right moment.

Enjoy the hot tub and don't forget sex is horrible in a hot tub. Move to the bedroom soon.

Rabbit-Punch · 2019-06-09T16:55:58+00:00

You are a pussy and you need to get over that by not being a pussy. Except its going to be awkward since you are inexperienced but just go for it and make it feel natural not forced to the best of your ability

KookaB · 2019-06-09T18:59:48+00:00

I mean this affectionately, but you're an idiot. Make a move.

BoneRaged · 2019-06-09T17:57:54+00:00

Duuuude, reading this looked like every paragraph just needed 1 move from your side and ur in!

XDarkstarX1138 · 2019-06-09T18:42:22+00:00

If you're already friends with her you're fucked. No escaping the friend zone because she doesn't see you as potential relationship material. I'd suggest not fucking friends and move on to someone else.

Title	Turning things sexual
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	233
Comments	98
Date	June 9, 2019 3:26 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/bylbwr/turning_things_sexual/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/turning-things-sexual.1470971 https://theredarchive.com/post/1470971

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