When cold approaching, why telling a girl that she is cute is a bad idea?

pua_max · 2022-01-25T03:50:40+00:00

Beginner -> tell her she’s cute. Intermediate -> learn to be more subtle. Advanced -> you say whatever the fuck you want and let subcomms talk for you.

cronasminate · 2022-01-25T10:24:05+00:00

Approaching to convince a girl to like you never works, so it doesn’t matter what you really say. You are either attractive to her or not. Her job is to tell me right away through her body language which one is which so I can spend my time elsewhere or give her a chance.

Direct openers just makes a girl explicitly state whether they like you or not which works for most guys who can’t read female body language if their life depended on it.

FlatDistance5 · 2022-01-25T06:39:04+00:00

Being conversational first, then stating intent is the best way to go

JacobMoogberg69 · 2022-01-25T06:17:39+00:00

Women are approached in one of 3 ways:

"Omg, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, I will crawl a mile on my belly for a chance to be with such a beauty as yourself, I will eat your shit if I have to..." which of course doesn't make a woman feel particularly good about herself, especially if she is good looking because she's heard it all before and mostly because the last thing she wants is a guy who will bend over backwards and sacrifice himself for her.

Then you have:

"Hey there, you are so lucky to me meet me, because I am so impressive and wonderful, I'm just the type of guy you need in your life, omg your eyes are the exact same color as my new Prosche..." which immediately signals to a woman that you are trying to impress her, that you are the seller and she's the buyer and as such she has to kick the tires, pretend to not be very interested and most certainly, she can't make a decision right away. She will have to audition you for 5 dates to see if you are worth what you say you are worth which is a losing proposition for both you and her.
The pick up artist way "So you think you are so hot, because you are hot, but let me tell you little girl, you are not", which works as well as you would expect it to, which is not at all.

So relax, give her a non needy compliment if you want to and if you don't, just say hi, what's your name.

YoDaddy1069 · 2022-01-25T04:53:40+00:00

I’m very much against it. I’ve noticed that when I come up with more unique compliments like complimenting her hair or her clothes that I get a better reaction.

b_a_d_r0b0t · 2022-01-25T07:36:37+00:00

Don’t give them validation

Regular_Account6042 · 2022-01-25T12:29:10+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Soberskate9696 · 2022-01-25T07:14:52+00:00

Depends on how good looking you are

geonerd1310 · 2022-01-25T12:01:06+00:00

Because she already knows it and you're the millionth guy to remind her. Approach as if there was something beyond her beauty that interested you. Girls understand beauty is common and men will sleep with women less attractive than them. So in her head being beautiful isn't a sure way of securing a real man she's attracted to. Is he going to feel the same without my make up, or when I'm returning home from work, or when I'm sweating in the sun, or when I'm older and no longer young and beautiful, is he gonna like me when he sees me without my clothes?... Women have all sorts of thoughts men usually don't have. Let her feel you were attracted to something beyond that, something she'll realize she uniquely posseses and probably only you see. It could be her sense of humour, her style of dressing, her confidence, her values and beliefs, her manners, anything to make her feel that men value women beyond just their physical beauty!

Minute-Lie-2287 · 2022-01-25T14:56:51+00:00

Sometimes it's ok, really depends on her confidence, how often she's hit on, and how receptive she is to you anyhow ( basically your looks and if you're the right type)

Unfortunately most of that is hard to guage.

If you're going in with a compliment your better bet is something she's wearing or her haircut or something she did... basically anything she made a choice on and is not totally generic. The more obscure the thing is the better, for instance she's probably heard I like your tats a million times if she has obvious tattoos but if you recognize the reference of one you can probably give a more genuine and pointed compliment for it.

The fact you're approaching is enough to infer "you're cute" It's basically redundant.

Then again, I can think of a few times I've said " hey, I just gotta say, you really make those jeans look good" Indirectly saying the equivalent of "nice ass".....not really sure why that's worked but hey , feel the moment, know your audience.

SnooMachines1406 · 2022-01-25T04:13:02+00:00

U tell her because it saves time and shows her your intrested

bvtmfdr · 2022-01-25T07:01:28+00:00

She definitely already knows she’s cute, she probably gets told all the time. Instead tell her how you really feel, e.g. how you like her gorgeous body, or how she makes you feel inside when you spotted her e.g. you took my breath away. Most guys have no balls to ever say that so she’ll be surprised and you’ll stand out. Plus it’s genuine and not coming across as approval-seeking; the cute compliment comes across as a bribe for sex/her approval, when you should be approaching with the mindset that you owe her nothing and you are good as is and of course she will like a catch like you (even if she doesn’t), and let’s be honest more than “she’s cute” went through your head when you saw her ;)

ulyssesonyourscreen · 2022-01-25T07:42:16+00:00

Look good, give her any compliment, the more genuine like and not predictable at all, the better, look good, then small talk trying to express your vibe the best that you can, small funny interesting comments and intentionally hot eye contact, look good, be expressive and emotional, confidence is key, look good, express interest on hanging later: "whats your IG? So I can follow you and then go ice skating" (or whatever pops in your mind first, doesn’t matter), look good, close the deal.

tway7373892 · 2022-01-25T08:54:11+00:00

Cute is generic and has no meaning behind it , pick out something unique about her and start with that .Women put a lot of effort into the way they look and a compliment pointing something out will go further than just saying you're cute

MO_drps_knwldg · 2022-01-25T13:56:35+00:00

Your energy and your vibe is what matters, not what you say. If you’re confident, playful, and not outcome dependent, and willing to let the conversation unfold naturally, simply smiling and asking how her day is going is enough.

If you’re nervous, feel like you’re bothering her, or focused on the outcome, the best line in the world won’t save you.

RegretsNothing1 · 2022-01-25T16:04:54+00:00

I mean, ever girl I've had sex with, or kissed is because after I establish that I'm a normal person, I say "I really want to kiss you", or "I'd have sex with you".

I'd make it a statement, and it's up to her what she wants to do with it. If you've proved you're not obsessive, crazy, dangerous, she'll always take pretty well, no matter the answer.

But definitely don't do this if you're not attractive. People are awful, and women treat unattractive men pretty poorly without realizing it.

But so do men. It's a human flaw.

5_7pickup · 2022-01-25T04:28:14+00:00

This is an intent vs premise problem.

skinticket02 · 2022-01-25T07:08:50+00:00

You can say whatever you want , it doesn't really matter . You just her hour number and leave.

Xombie0991 · 2022-01-25T08:37:06+00:00

I do it to state intent. That’s important isn’t it?

PushOrganic · 2022-01-25T08:41:33+00:00

Because it validates her too much and complementing her before she deserves it comes off as needy. In a cold approach you want to be screening and establishing yourself as the prize

Fx150900 · 2022-01-25T11:57:18+00:00

Call her nails cute. Tell her she has nice shoes. Tell her you like her purse. It’ll bring a smile to her face, and now you can branch off of that. “Where’d you get them from?” Then boom you’re in there like swim wear. Before you leave you just ask if her she wants to grab a coffee or something. If she says no, get her number, and schedule something later on. Easy peasy. In my experience introducing yourself and learning their name eliminates a huge barrier, because now you know them on a more personal level.

NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr · 2022-01-25T09:35:31+00:00

PUA Paradox. When you tell a woman she's cute you automatically subcommunicate that she has higher value than you (i.e. she has something you want). This automatically puts you as lower value than her which doesn't flip that attraction switch (women do NOT sleep with men they perceive as having lower value than them). The only cheat code to this is if you are an uber-Chad with amazingly good genes (an 11/10).

Why "paradox"? How do you pickup a woman without subcommunicating that she has something YOU want? Disqualifying yourself first. Remember, the game is played in "comfort" level, not in the first few minutes of interaction.

Too many rookies are looking for the quick "win" and discard years of field tested and battle-hardened tactics.

Learn the ins/outs of "prizing" to get a better understanding of this.

ezekiell_86 · 2022-01-25T10:32:51+00:00

Story time. 2am Saturday morning, my best mate and I drunk in a taxi line talking shit when he turns his head spits down at the ground, it lands on this girls foot standing beside us.

She says hey you fucking spat on me

He looks at her, smiles. Replies, sometimes I spit

She says sometimes I swallow. WTF

Long story short he rode a taxi back to her place and fucked her, she was at least an 8.

I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

Be a king. Put your value a mountain above theirs.

Also, get them when they're drunk and horny about to go home alone.

thelambofdeth · 2022-01-25T11:22:43+00:00

Never validate a woman

Dwerg1 · 2022-01-25T12:14:21+00:00

A newbie telling a girl she's cute for a lack of other ways of initiating a conversation tells her exactly that, you're yet another uninteresting newbie.

It's not the fact that you're giving a compliment that's really the issue, it's that every other uninteresting guy before you did exactly the same. It's just boring and lets her know right off the bat that the following interaction will most likely be awkward or uncomfortable.

SuaveFuck · 2022-01-25T09:45:22+00:00

she might KNOW she's cute. she might have heard she's cute 37times tonight already and it might not really indicate a great information worth to engage with for her ;)

if you really wanna go with complimenting her on something about her appearance, try to go with her smile. but heck, she might have heard that at least 10 times that night already, too.

Frostie-B3 · 2022-01-25T10:06:04+00:00

Because She already knows that. It’s also indicates that you don’t know to break the ice.

shawnml9 · 2022-01-25T10:44:53+00:00

Make her laugh, and she is yours

BigShuggy · 2022-01-25T14:05:02+00:00

It all depends on how you say it. You’re asking questions on this sub so the big money is on you failing to pull it off. If you’re charming/creative and confident you’ll be fine but if you were you’d probably know that instinctively.

If you do decide to go ahead with it please don’t go too extreme. Strangers are naturally more wary of each other and grand displays set off red flags, keep it relaxed. Also don’t linger get her number and boost, you don’t look desperate and it gives her an escape if she only gave you the number to get it over with.

A lesser thought about tip would be compliment her on something she personally cares about. Pretty girls get called pretty all the time and they know they are good looking as well as I know I have 10 fingers. Obviously more difficult because you have to figure out what the right thing is in real time but they always seem to love it.

Minute-Lie-2287 · 2022-01-25T14:57:10+00:00

Sometimes it's ok, really depends on her confidence, how often she's hit on, and how receptive she is to you anyhow ( basically your looks and if you're the right type)

Unfortunately most of that is hard to guage.

If you're going in with a compliment your better bet is something she's wearing or her haircut or something she did... basically anything she made a choice on and is not totally generic. The more obscure the thing is the better, for instance she's probably heard I like your tats a million times if she has obvious tattoos but if you recognize the reference of one you can probably give a more genuine and pointed compliment for it.

The fact you're approaching is enough to infer "you're cute" It's basically redundant.

smind893 · 2022-01-25T15:18:56+00:00

Yea Be the 483930th guy to talk about her looks.

You'll stand out.

the-mo55 · 2022-01-25T16:15:26+00:00

It doesn’t work because they probably hear it all the time. It’s unoriginal

HuckleberryBroad644 · 2022-01-25T18:30:52+00:00

An object in motion stays in motion. If that opener is what ya got, use it. Starting a conversation with anyone is the hard part, getting over the 'what if'. Get in there,.say something, anything. A woman who is actually worth pursuing will respond kindly. If you get a nasty response just because you initiated....walk away.

DROP_TABLE_U5ers · 2022-01-25T18:37:52+00:00

It doesn’t really matter what you say. You can tell in the first 30 seconds where it’s going

pocketcroquet · 2022-01-25T20:52:57+00:00

Woman speaking here-

A lot of the time, being hit on is stressful. It's hard because I'm sussing out to see if the person giving compliments is a weirdo who doesn't care about my opinion or consent, of if they're just a sweet and direct dude.

So my number 1 tip- let her know that she's safe and her opinion matters. Making her comfortable is a lot more effective than showering her with compliments. And not in the egotistical way, where you feel like you're giving her a present by pretending she has a choice. Respect her and what she wants.

Start off with "Hi, would you mind if I talked to you for a second? I understand if it would make you uncomfortable though."

You can still be direct, too. If she lets you sit down with her and you feel shes comfortable with you, you can hit her with a "I think you're beautiful."

The most important tip though, is

BE OKAY WITH TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER.

No matter what, it'll happen sometimes. Even if she doesn't explicitly tell you she's uncomfortable, read her body language. Care about how she feels, and if she misunderstands you and is uncomfortable, be kind enough to leave her alone.

I promise that she'll like you a lot more if she doesn't even have to ask you for space, and she'll probably rethink her opinion of you when she understands that you actually cared about how she felt. It makes you seem like you have options, too, and that you're not desperate.

So yeah. Be polite. Make her feel safe. And take no as an answer if she's not feeling it.

divorceded7in · 2022-01-26T03:28:28+00:00

Banter with girls they love it teasing is good and try to be the funny guy not stupid or mean but ha funny..funny guys are dangerous cuz they tickle the funny bone and that gets you in...

Bingo_is_the_man · 2022-01-26T04:25:37+00:00

There’s nothing wrong with a compliment, just keep it tame and don’t go over the top. Just something like ‘I thought you looked nice’ is usually good enough. More about how you stop them and how you lead it though.

Upstairs-Bat-1315 · 2022-01-28T20:03:30+00:00

Hey bro, I made another video for you answering this question

https://youtu.be/stNCQhTBncM

This one is really simple and easy. Good luck!

Title	When cold approaching, why telling a girl that she is cute is a bad idea?
Author	ItsMango
Upvotes	53
Comments	73
Date	January 25, 2022 3:43 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/sc47oy/when_cold_approaching_why_telling_a_girl_that_she/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/when-cold-approaching-why-telling-a-girl-that-she.1268329 https://theredarchive.com/post/1268329

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