When pursuing a serious relationship, how long would you wait for sex before assuming she's playing you?

Loud_Contract_689 · 2025-02-18T18:54:51+00:00

The problem isn't how long you have to wait, it's how much you are investing.

king_david43 · 2025-02-18T19:21:48+00:00

I'm not considering her for a serious relationship if we aren't having sex. I feel like saying a lot of guys like to put their desires on the back burner in order to appease the women or not offend her in some way. But someone you are truly compatible with is someone who shares your mutual desires. If you want sex with this woman and she doesn't want that with you then you guys aren't compatible. You should have a conversation on what you want and how she feels about it and if you guys don't align move on.

CheesyWalnut · 2025-02-18T18:55:40+00:00

Different depending on the country/culture

rich_god · 2025-02-18T19:16:21+00:00

It’s not about the number of dates. It’s about the quality of physical interaction when you are together. You can feel if there is physical attraction and sexual tension.

ZealousidealRun2842 · 2025-02-18T18:35:39+00:00

Date 5 is the max if it doesnt happen by date 5 shes just not that into you. I used to say 3 but for a good girl 3 is usually her minimum. One girl it was date 4 which I thought was long but she turned out to be a TOTAL freak and love to get f*ked so I adjusted priors up to 5

creamyturtle · 2025-02-18T21:51:37+00:00

Ive waited 7 dates before and she ended up being my gf

random_question4123 · 2025-02-18T20:13:58+00:00

IMO, it’s not about the act of having sex itself. It’s on whether she is actually interested and physically and emotionally attracted to you. This should be relatively obvious. If you’re still unsure after maybe the second date, then she’s not actually interested.

Does she kiss you? Does she hold you close? Does she talk sexually to you?

Think about it - how would a young woman act around her 80 year old sugar daddy? Sure, that’s extreme but shouldn’t be too dissimilar if she’s only interested in what she can get out of you

Dwerg1 · 2025-02-18T21:52:08+00:00

Easy, don't pursue relationship. The moment it feels bad, you're out. If it never feels bad, it's a relationship.

Apples_into_Snapple · 2025-02-18T18:33:56+00:00

If by date 3 you guys don’t have sex, she’s more likely using you for validation/toying with you (Unless she’s like a super religious girl or she’s a virgin)

dogstarfugitive · 2025-02-18T18:16:14+00:00

Date 3. Any chick that makes u wait for sex is never worth it.

DR_MF · 2025-02-18T18:46:53+00:00

Yeah def 2nd date, max 3rd. Think about it: let’s say YOU are interested in a serious relationship and find her attractive. Wouldn’t you expect her to be sexually attracted to you as well if she was into you the way you are into her? And if that isn’t the case, would you wanna be in a relationship with someone who is NOT sexually attracted to you? And if she is but is holding back, for what reason? Are those compatible with your values and morals?

BellasHadids-OldNose · 2025-02-18T20:40:15+00:00

A lot depends on culture, but I would take a step back and always try gauge the chemistry. That will tell you most things… I understand men view PIV as the ultimate validation symbol but there is a whole world leading up to that point

I made my now husband wait a little over a month, we saw each other 3+ times a week at that stage as well.. but we had incredible chemistry from the start.

Some of the comments saying 5 or even just a specific number are giving a bit of a juvenile perspective. Women aren’t the free coffee at the end of a card you punch holes into… if my husband followed that advice, he wouldn’t be in our really happy marriage and expecting his first child.

Looking back, I really appreciate that he respected my boundaries that I a- I don’t go into apartments of men I am not in a relationship with and b- I don’t sleep with men who are not my boyfriend. So he knew that from the get go

Once we were official and I felt I actually knew him, it was well and truly on like donkey kong

And we’re happily married having been together for 5 years.

What you need to keep in mind is gauging how physical is she with you and the touching, the kissing, how receptive is she with texts. Does she generally accept your request to meet up. All of that should determine how much you invest and whether it is worth waiting or not

jayjonas1996 · 2025-02-19T01:10:59+00:00

If you’re calling a relationship serious without sex, you already have the answer

DrinksAreOnTheHouse · 2025-02-18T19:17:18+00:00

Some girls wait much much longer. They actually want to know the guy wants the be with them.

jjboy91 · 2025-02-18T19:02:20+00:00

5 but generally you know it by the third one

micahbevans88 · 2025-02-18T19:33:49+00:00

It depends on the woman and how genuinely interested she is in numerous different ways. Putting a number on it is silly.

MorningFogRd · 2025-02-18T21:23:17+00:00

I waited a while long distance at first.

somethinlikeshieva · 2025-02-19T00:21:19+00:00

It really depends how close we are to having sex, like how is she treating me. You can know in your gut when something's off, go by that

Sandvicheater · 2025-02-19T03:25:39+00:00

Every girls has her own "speed" from first date to fucking. Some "fast" girls put out on the first night. Others won't even so much as touch your dick until 3 months into the relationship.

See this entire thread is all over the place with the proper "wait" time some saying they'll ditch the girl if no pussy action by the 5th date other said they'd wait for months. Women know all men desire sex and its that control access to sex is why men always are at the disadvantage in the dating war.

Mr_Dixon1991 · 2025-02-19T03:33:11+00:00

I expect most women to hold off on sex for the first couple of dates to avoid the "hookup gal" label. So I'd say Date 3 at the earliest, Date 4 at the latest.

Amanprob · 2025-02-18T20:17:05+00:00

Whatever you do ,you gotta escalate things by date 2,you gotta test the water anyways and by 3-4 dates it should happens naturally.

secretmonkeyassassin · 2025-02-18T18:59:55+00:00

Whenever a girl makes you wait for sex, the sex is never worth the wait. Ever. So, personally, I would assume that it's a game immediately.

Chinchillapeanits · 2025-02-19T00:54:22+00:00

Holy shit, ya’ll want Women with low body counts, but then want her yo have sex with you guys that fast??? Really???? My first and only BF and I waited about a year because I wanted to save it for marriage but marriage didn’t pan out so we just did it.

Advanced-Bag9544 · 2025-02-18T18:14:08+00:00

Until we’re exclusive

AimlesslWander · 2025-02-18T18:12:36+00:00

Due to my last experience with my ex-girlfriend I'm going to say wait at least a entire month before doing anything sexual kissing is fine and hugging is fine but wait up on sex for 5 dates

RandomBlokeFromMars · 2025-02-19T03:39:45+00:00

never pursue a serious relationship BEFORE the seggsy time.

she has to commit first, else you will be the simp in the relationship. until she commits first, consider it non exclusive dating.

Conscious-Smell-8844 · 2025-02-18T20:13:26+00:00

If you have good game and can build comfort, you should easily get it 1-2

bitter_cigarettes · 2025-02-18T18:13:59+00:00

2 or 3 months🤣

Great-Bed-9494 · 2025-02-18T23:59:48+00:00

3 dates MAX! And 2 of those dates will be FREE dates that require spending no money

iROLL24s · 2025-02-19T00:04:09+00:00

3 business days… because I’m not waiting on sex if I’m serious about a relationship.

Foxito_007 · 2025-02-18T18:32:21+00:00

On the second date, you should ride her even if it’s a serious relationship. If she refuses, tell her you want to test your sexual compatibility and you don’t want to kill your time and money for nothing.

Remember, women despise simps and are attracted to bad boys, both for a relationship and for a fling.

Lonely_Computer_2058 · 2025-02-18T20:53:13+00:00

If you push the envelope enough it’s easy to get it on the first date assuming both of you are interested. You should try to push early and if she soft rejects just keep little pushes. Maybe you’ll get it later and she just has that much willpower.

I’ve had a girl tell me “I’m not easy” rejecting me for a kiss and then I had sex with her that same day.

EetinAintCheetin · 2025-02-18T21:40:19+00:00

lol, I haven’t pursued a woman for a LTR in decades. When I learned how to play the game, it was always women trying to pressure me into a relationship.

S4KN · 2025-02-18T21:28:21+00:00

On the first date, usually. Trust me if a women wants to she'll sleep with you anywhere and anytime. She already made the decision in her mind as soon as she saw you. Just read the signs and you'll be good. I don't mind waiting, but first date sex hits different.

CharmingRejector · 2025-02-19T01:36:19+00:00

A day or two? I would never pursue a serious relationship with a woman who isn't already having sex with me.

Sex first. Then let's talk about how serious it can become.

triggerxwarning · 2025-02-18T20:11:49+00:00

I’m a woman. I will not see anyone a second time if they don’t put out on the first outing.

O7Rehvs · 2025-02-19T01:11:29+00:00

2 weeks. First time y’all hang out there should be kissing on the lips. That leads to grabbing. Now if she says stop not yet respect that. Now a week later if she says stop again here’s the strategy.

Stop going for her in a sexual manner. Stop making first move I bet you she will make first move and you will smash

HighwayOk9621 · 2025-02-19T02:07:52+00:00

None of you have children. You won’t be able to handle when men like you swarm your daughters (which they will/are if you already have them). You will all be duly punished, ib this life or the next. TRUST!

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