Update: confronting cheating fiance

DoeEyedBrownSkin · 2020-06-23T23:28:27+00:00

Stupid men will blame just about anything except themselves.

Now, it’s the big city’s fault?! 😂

royaldetour · 2020-06-23T22:47:06+00:00

I am loving your QUEEN energy!

2020-06-24T02:30:29+00:00

Insultingly, he said he didn't think it would be this difficult, he thought he could convince me to stay with him and he's surprised I have dumped him, which goes to show how low he thinks of me.

I think a lot of dudes who pull this garbage think they'll be able to weasel their way out of it.

OrchidLion · 2020-06-24T03:54:54+00:00

Can't turn a wh0re into a husband. Good on you for putting him in his place.

letsberealforamoment · 2020-06-23T22:55:25+00:00

Brilliant! Nice dig at HIS age too!

Chantelmorris345 · 2020-06-23T22:54:09+00:00

Thats right sis you did the right thing!! I’m glad you didn’t stick around and get married to that asshole. Most women would still debate on trying to “work it out”, so i’m glad you didn’t even give it a second thought because if he’s already cheating in a relationship a marriage won’t change anything. You are truly a queen that knows her worth and won’t settle for less👑❤️ Men will always try to test you to see if they can get away with their bullshit, so I’m glad you stood your ground! You will not only heal from this but be a much wiser and stronger woman from this experience good luck to you love.👏🏾💕

jeanneeebeanneee · 2020-06-24T01:55:26+00:00

Leave it to a man to blame a whole city for his fuckery 😂

Glad you're done with him and moving on sis! Onward and upward!

RadarFemef · 2020-06-24T02:23:29+00:00

I love this. I’m a believer in ghosting, sometimes, but also sometimes these things need to be taken to task. For our own sake, not theirs. “No one has ever spoken to me that way” good you asshole. Proud of you OP

Shaakie · 2020-06-24T03:05:09+00:00

"Insultingly, he said he didn't think it would be this difficult, he thought he could convince me to stay with him and he's surprised I have dumped him, which goes to show how low he thinks of me."

-Ahh it would be easy if at least the dick was good at least, but not even that, hard pass honestly.

jayda92 · 2020-06-23T23:03:58+00:00

I love your story! I totally understand the urge to set him straight. Those gaslighting mf's are THE WORST. You sound 👑

The only problem is that you learned him to just be sneakier. He would've had been hit harder with radio silence IMHO. That would have fucked with his head more.. And maybe that could have protected another woman.

ErikaNaumann · 2020-06-23T23:03:24+00:00

High standards queen!

Suitcase33 · 2020-06-24T03:57:17+00:00

the ghost and block thing is applicable to men you’ve been on a few dates and have been talking to not to your literal fiancé. your energy in this post is what i aspire to be like. all my respect to you sister!!!

gursky0 · 2020-06-23T23:53:17+00:00

Wow. I am so impressed with how you handled this.

I'm glad you were able to find closure in your own way - and dodge that bullet!

-positivity- · 2020-06-24T00:45:47+00:00

Dignity and integrity, love it 👏

Lavender_flow · 2020-06-24T07:44:04+00:00

(After his denial tantrum) he did tell me he needed to hear that and he is going to do some introspection as to why he is such a big piece of shit, claiming this is a low point of his life. He claims the big city life corrupted him (lmao). The one thing he hasn't lied about, he said I'm too good for him and he's not worthy of me.

I am sorry, but newsflash: he is not going to change, he just told you what you "wanted to hear", and the whole "you are too good for me" is such bs and they dont even believe it. It is just a rehearsed line they spew out. I know you broke up with him, but guys like that are so full a shit, so never for a second believe a word they say.

Ultimately you did the right thing.

Izzy4162305 · 2020-06-24T02:23:46+00:00

I have to know: How did his family find out? Who to,d them? What was their reaction? Give us GLORIOUS details.

throwawaynevermindit · 2020-06-24T01:58:31+00:00

Lol what you did wasn't really a "waste of energy." That's mostly BS believed by women who have internalized the idea that female anger is ill-dignified or purposeless even when it's perfectly understandable and rational. There is nothing wrong with being righteously pissed and expressing it. It's not like we get X amount of life energy and once it runs out we never get it back, and anyhow specific outrage like this isn't always something you can sublimate in a useful way, it has to be expended on the target it was meant for, or you end up taking it out on yourself. Better him than you.

You expressed what you needed to express. It made you feel better (purpose 1) and probably made him feel somewhat uncomfortable even if only in a superficial way ie was a pain in his ass (purpose 2 - misbehavior calls for whatever consequences you can provide, even if they're only minor annoyances).

Women get themselves into trouble with angry texting/angry convos only when they're secretly or not-so-secretly hoping he'll change and/or are not really prepared to walk away and are thus vulnerable to male bullshit that will inevitably come through the door when they open it. Some men get an initial ego boost from getting a reaction, BUT once they realize that once you were done you really were done, and aren't coming back, that reallly tends to dissipate. They start sending "I'm really sorry/hope you're well" texts to be ignored months later, just the same.

You seem perfectly finished with him. Might as well slam the door into his ass on the way out.

nutshit · 2020-06-24T00:45:52+00:00

CONGRATS GIRL! It’s only up from here!!

mangolime0 · 2020-06-24T04:24:48+00:00

[deleted]

woadsky · 2020-06-24T07:00:51+00:00

I don't really believe in blocking and ghosting, especially after a few months into a relationship, exclusive, or engaged. I think it's best to tell the person what is going on. You really listened to your intuition.

sarahbae03 · 2020-06-24T02:23:55+00:00

You go girl!

fwa7 · 2020-06-24T11:35:21+00:00

Proud of you. No one deserves to be cheated on and gaslighted. You put in so much effort and loyalty to not have it reciprocated, and that’s not okay.

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2020-06-24T14:23:06+00:00

I am so proud of you. For following your gut instincts, successfully snooping, and for the way you handled it - not allowing him to weasel out of anything. I think in this instance if you ghosted, it may have hit you harder. Not only would you not get the closure that you had the opportunity to get by confronting him, but also he could have gone around saying you were crazy for just disappearing. I mean, I guess you would’ve found a way to address that too.

What I’m trying to say is I totally agree with the confronting on this occasion and think you’re an absolute queen for doing it this way. Good on you. You saved yourself the potential lifetime of being stuck with a lowlife cheating loser, and being gaslit to highgell forever.

CassieGreen85 · 2020-06-24T01:42:49+00:00

Fuck that "ghost and block" shit, yeah most of the time it's not worth the effort and it's less dangerous to just block, but then he'd just go around and did it to other women. FUCK THAT, thank you so much for calling him out on his bullshit, and showing at least one of these scrotes that women aren't cumrags for them to use and toss at their leisure.

He claims the big city life corrupted him

BOO HOO HOO, little man! Again, it's NEVER his fault, he can never be held accountable for his actions. My god, these guys are pathetic.

FurryBellyButt0n · 2020-06-24T12:02:10+00:00

You did what you needed to do and that's always enough Queen!

2020-06-24T12:12:06+00:00

Well done! Yes, straightforwardness has its place and this was definitely one of them.

prettyexcitingnews · 2020-06-24T17:06:16+00:00

That’s my queen! I absolutely admire how strong and firm you are. You deserve someone so much better than that scumbag.

eng2fly · 2020-06-25T02:24:11+00:00

Ugh you fucking queen 👑 I smiled ear to ear reading how you handled this. I am so sorry you had to go through this with a NVM but I am SO PROUD OF YOU and you are absolutely an inspiration.

whatsnotclickingg · 2020-06-24T03:44:16+00:00

I’m glad you left but why even let him know he bothered you. Ghosting hurts more, it’s not easy to do though. It’s way easier to give into your emotions like you did, but you really just let him know that you cared that much.

Anyway, glad you’ll be onto bigger and better things

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Title	Update: confronting cheating fiance
Author	mangolime0
Upvotes	226
Comments	47
Date	June 23, 2020 10:33 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/heoobd/update_confronting_cheating_fiance/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/update-confronting-cheating-fiance.698068 https://theredarchive.com/post/698068

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