I’m sure many of you are familiar with Sherry Argov’s works including ‘Why men love bitches’ which are great in helping you assert healthy boundaries.

One piece of advice she gives is to be casual with the new man in your life because he is expecting you to want him to commit or define the relationship and he will resist this if it comes from you. So if you don’t, the theory goes, he becomes the one who wants to become serious rather than the one trying to avoid being ‘trapped’ by a woman. Argov even recommends not talking about how you are looking for a serious relationship with marriage as something to follow within a reasonable amount of time for some months.

How does this work in a world where ‘situationships’ are a thing and that a casual, undefined ‘relationship’ is actually the goal for so many people? How can you reasonably expect a man to know you are marriage minded if for the first few months (as per the Argov advice) you avoid any talk of the future or being serious? How do you make your expectations clear without committing the ‘sin’ of giving the man control over the relationship by appearing too invested?