I’ve seen arguments posted that go by the lines of “Men decided the patriarchy, they created their own problems and expect women to fix them”, or claim that oppression is oppression from other men. I was honestly baffled by these statements and still have no clue on how to respond to them. What do you think about these claims?
[+]TehReedster891 points [recovered] (27 children) | Copy Link
That argument is wrong for multiple reasons at the same time. As others have mentioned, it's the apex fallacy. They see that the people at the top of the world are men, so they treat men as a group as if they are all on top of the world. But most men are just trying to get through their lives. Most men are not extra powerful just because most of the people at the top of the world might be men. But the point I really want to make here is that it unfairly looks at genders as teams. They are ironically accusing men's rights people of the exact same thing they are actually doing.
I believe in men's rights. But that does not mean that I am on the "men's team", fighting against the "women's team". I think that notion is ridiculous. I still support women's rights as well, where applicable. I think the proper approach is to acknowledge the issues everyone has, and try to fix them, rather than to declare one "team" has more problems than the other, and therefore focus only on that "team".
The irony is that the people who say "yeah, but those disadvantages are caused by other men", are treating it as if it's a team game. They think that men can't claim this or that bit of discrimination, because that discrimination is caused by other men. That approach is ridiculous. They're treating it as a team game, where it only makes sense for men to complain of sexism if it's caused by women, and women are only allowed to complain of sexism if it's caused by men. And because they believe that men rule the world, obviously they think every problem in society is caused by men, and therefore, men literally face no discrimination.
It's all around insanity. I get so frustrated with it every time I see it. Most of the time, people just deny that men have issues. But even when there's finally a thread on a subreddit like /r/television where people are agreeing that men have it bad in many areas, people will start going down that path. Saying that those problems are caused by other men. Saying that those problems are the result of the patriarchy, or of toxic masculinity, and so on. It's just so ridiculous. I don't give a rat's ass if I'm being discriminated against by exclusively men, exclusively women, or a mix of the two. The point is that I'm being discriminated against. And that discrimination is just as valid as any discrimination women face.
"Don't complain to us; it's your team causing that problem" is just the most infuriating logic. They treat MRAs as if fighting for men's rights inherently means fighting against women's. They treat MRAs as if we are fighting a men vs. women team game. But they are ironically the ones who are guilty of that. Because they refuse to acknowledge any men's issue without first blaming men, meaning they are the ones actually playing that team game.
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Wrong.
Men's rights is a movement. It's people pushing for very specific changes in our society. It exists solely for the purpose of accomplishing those changes, and then there will be no more use for it.
Feminism is an ideology. It's founded on central tenets and concepts. They don't have specific goals beyond the vague notion of equality. And despite not being able to name specific ways in which women are legally discriminated against anymore (because they've already accomplished those things), they continue to exist, spreading their concepts as facts.
They are not the same. One is a movement, the other is an ideology.
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[+]TehReedster891 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
I'm sure someone else can list off a lot more of them, but one which comes to mind for me is a complete shitshow when it comes to parental rights.
A woman can choose to abort a fetus or not. This makes sense, as it's her body. It's simply an unfortunate side-effect of this that a prospective father who is excited about the child doesn't have a say in whether it is born or not.
But beyond that, there's no excuse for the complete lack of rights a father has with regards to his child. The mother can simply choose not to tell the father that she is pregnant with his child, and choose to raise it on her own. Similarly, the mother can choose not to tell the father he has a child, and give it up for adoption or drop it off at a safe haven. Both of these situations allow a mother to deny the father his child, and there's no good justification for that.
On the flip side, if a prospective father does not want a child, his fate is solely up to the mother's decision. He doesn't have the ability to walk away like she does. Even discounting abortion, as I highlighted above, a prospective mother can choose to give the child up for adoption or drop it off at a safe haven. She has these options if the child would be too much of a responsibility or financial burden. But a prospective father doesn't get to make any such choice. If the mother chooses to keep the child, she can sue him for child support, forcing him to support a child he never wanted to begin with. To sum it up, when a man and a woman (who do not want children) have sex, they are both taking a risk that an unwanted child will come from it. But if that should occur, the woman has several options to avoid the burden of supporting a child. The man has no such safety net, and his future is completely decided for him by the woman.
And that's only discussing the legal stuff. That's not to mention the harder-to-prove stuff like family court bias against men.
Whether you want a child, or whether you don't want a child, if you are a man, your rights are extremely lacking when it comes to parenthood. You can be denied a child you should have every right to, and you can be saddled with a lifetime of financially supporting a child you never wanted.
This is the first, very important thing which comes to mind when it comes to actual legal discrimination against men. But there is plenty more, and I'm sure other people here can do a better job of providing all of that. But beyond legal stuff, there's also plenty of societal discrimination against men; unfair double standards, people openly calling men monsters and rapists, bias in court sentencing, disparity in school performance, the presence of woman-only scholarships/organizations/domestic violence shelters/etc. despite little or no men-only equivalents. And so on.
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Men didn't invent capitalism to cherish women and children.
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[+]truthwriter1231 points [recovered] (10 children) | Copy Link
Oh my bad, I meant patriarchies don't cherish women and children the way that you claim. They allow men to exert control over their wives and children.
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Quote:
"Peasants generally did not fight at wars in the Middle Ages. The feudal society was divided in theory into three groups:
Those who fight (knights, noblemen, gentry)"
So basically a special class of men fought in wars.
Going to war wasn't seen as oppressive as you would like it to be.
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[+]truthwriter1231 points [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
The whole life of knights and noblemen were revolved around fighting. It was an honor served not oppression.
Do you consider US men going to war in Iraq a form of oppression? Because those men consented to go to war.
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Coverture did imply that a wife was her husbands property that had to be managed and regulated.
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No, Women leaders had male advisors. Also, unmarried Queens were more likely to be attacked.
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[+]ofcourse1001 points [recovered] (16 children) | Copy Link
Male advisors guided women leaders.
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We don't know if women leaders did not want the same thing. But the fact that they had an advisor council/committee meant that lot of her decisions were guided or influenced by her male advisors.
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I totally disagree. Matriarchal societies would be more peaceful because women are less physically aggressive.
War is a male-male group competition for mates, territory, and resources. That's why most gangs, cartels, mafias, terrorist groups and even the military are majority men. War or conflict are largely dominated by men all around the world.
For more information, you should read this:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Male_warrior_hypothesis
Very good explanation on why men go to war.
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Matriarchies' are more peaceful than patriarchies. Look at Bonobos.
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[+]trueseeker911 points [recovered] (25 children) | Copy Link
Female queens had male advisors.
Alexander Bezborodko, the chief architect of Catherine the Great's foreign policy
Queen Elizabeth:
• The Privy Council were a group of powerful noblemen appointed by Elizabeth. They advised Elizabeth but did not control her.
• They advised on domestic and foreign issues such as how to handle challenges and threats, when to go to war, relations with foreign ambassadors, and supervising the enforcement of the Religious Settlement.
• Elizabeth’s main advisors
• 1. William Cecil - Elizabeth appointed Cecil as the Secretary of State in 1558. He was her most important minister and guided her wisely for 40 years. In 1571 he received the title Lord Burghley.
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Catherine the Great, Queen Elizabeth 1, and Queen Victoria all had male advisors. All leaders regardless of gender had MALE ADVISORS. Also the thing about spartan warrior women is false, female spartans had no role in the military.
https://www.history.com/topics/ancient-history/sparta
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Amazon warriors are myths from Greek mythology. You can google search any female leader and type in "advisors". That will show up.
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Obviously they listened to their advisors. Or else they wouldn't have any advisors to begin with.
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