[xMODx] Next question...

legendofpasta · 2012-04-26T02:48:37+00:00

The emphasis on getting the F-close. Its like after that, it doesn't matter, because you won the game! Really.. there's more that never gets discussed. What to do in the morning at her place, what to do in the morning at your place. What to text after the hook up. How to transition into a relationship if you feel inclined to do that. Life doesn't stop after you F-close, but I find myself without guidance at that point, which makes the life cycle go from opener to F-close to a weird breakup of a casual fling and onto the next open.... Which is fine, but I'd like some more discussion on the aftermath without going to r/relationships. I'd rather get advice from r/shittyseduction than the bleeding hearts in r/relationships... Anyone else feel this way?

GeoffreyDaGiraffe · 2012-04-26T02:41:05+00:00

[permanently deleted]

IAmTheOmNom · 2012-04-26T10:36:15+00:00

Somehow half of the community seems to think everything a girl says is always a shittest. I highly disagree with that!

I mean I'm sure that within the next week a thread will pop up with the title:

"Obvious shit-test: 'Do you want cake?' But how to react?"

IV-65536 · 2012-04-26T06:59:22+00:00

-People thinking everything is a shit test and trying to be super witty all the time.

-The need to be dodgy and mysterious with your answers. The way I see it, someone who repeatedly avoids a genuine question has something to be ashamed of. If it's a stupid question, yeah sure, treat it stupidly, but otherwise, there's no need to turn "how many siblings do you have" or whatever into some answer like "over 9000".

-"text game" or anti-flake etc. If you don't get a message back, you've been rejected. I don't see it as anything more or less. Even people that can't do something will at least have the courtesy to reply.

-People thinking they need to game/dominate guys (or their friends) before they can start behaving in front of women.

-Thinking that how you word things and do things, on a very intricate level, make a difference (in a sense, NLP). Saying "i want you to come out with me" vs "let's go out" vs "there's this place i can't wait to see you at" vs etc all communicates the same thing. You can't Pavlov classical condition a girl into liking you. And then people attribute these little little tiny things that they do thinking that THAT's whats getting the girl to like you. Not your silliness or nerdiness or when you picked up that old lady's bag to help her or whatever. It was definitely your palms facing outward that totally got her from ehh to liking you.

-Over emphasis on body language. When you are committed to something, commit with your body. Always be generally upright and slightly relaxed. Don't fidget. If someone you're talking to is facing you, good. If not, not good. That's all you need. You don't need to always lean on the wall like a classy pool champ or stand straight with arms crossed pro body-guard style or have ridiculous alpha poses.

fripppery · 2012-04-26T10:18:25+00:00

The idea that being alpha is the goal we are working towards.
The HB scale (how can you have a HB 2 - surely they are only Hot over level 6?).
Field reports that only serve to boost the bragging OPs ego.

ThrowawayPUA · 2012-04-26T03:27:12+00:00

The techniqueless FR. Seriously, droning on and on about what you did rather than how you did it reads like a Penthouse Forum.

Dear Penthouse,

I never thought it would happen to me, but I was at the club and saw this HB1,000,000...

mmmsausages · 2012-04-26T02:35:11+00:00

For me it's definitely the HB scale as it really doesn't have much relevance to the situation other than bragging rights. It can also be very frustrating because I can consider someone who has an an ok body but an awesome outgoing personality to be a 8-9 when in reality she is a 7. That's just my 2 cents.

beardfacekilla · 2012-04-26T03:50:52+00:00

I'll say it... negs. Any post or community member that talks about using negs loses a lot of credibility with me. I really find it disgusting. There was a post a few days ago about text openers that linked to a blog. The list had some decent stuff, but there was a handful of material that involved calling a girl retarded. It was gross.

I like teasing as long as it's good natured, but it seems that guys who talk about using negs use them to bring a girl's self esteem down. I even saw a video linked from Seddit that said exactly that. My issue is that people who try to bring others down do it because they don't feel good about themselves. I know, I was one of those guys and had a shitty marriage because of it. It took a lot of therapy to deal with my issues, but now I see how absolutely horrible I was to everyone in my life, all because I didn't like myself.

My baseline state is higher than it's ever been, and I've only been around here for a few weeks. If I feel like my state is low, I take immediate action to bring it up again. When I'm feeling good I'm like "human pot," and there is no reason to take somebody down a peg. If a friend goes negative on me, I ignore it until the time is right. If its a stranger or set, I quickly condemn the behavior... "That's not nice." or "Hey, don't talk to me that way." Then I move on, unaffected and feeling good because I took action to stick up for myself. Whether I stay and talk is now my decision. Maybe the chick is cool, maybe she's a jerk, but I'm in control and I won't treat people poorly.

If I'm out at a bar and I don't get a good vibe within a few minutes, I just move on, rather than stick around and try to neg a chick who obviously isn't worth my time. I try to approach everyone with humor and love, so there's no room for negs with me.

caulking · 2012-04-26T14:53:41+00:00

The seddit mods don't mod. You guys need to appoint some more mods, or start spending more time moderating or something.

vellyr · 2012-04-26T02:52:03+00:00

Allot of the posts on seddit on how to be Alpha say that Alphas always keep their cool, and never get angry or defensive. The way I see it letting some insult or disrespect you and not standing up yourself is one of the most beta things a man can do. I understand how being angry for no reason would be beta, but sometimes you need to defend the things you believe in life.

ThrowawayPUA · 2012-04-26T05:52:35+00:00

What bugs me a lot is the people who moralize about what people want. Sure, there are clear moral lines, like seducing children. I even have some qualms about dispensing advice to underage high school kids.

But what I'm talking about is people who get all offended when guys are seducing a woman with a boyfriend. They call it "stealing a girlfriend," like she's his property and she has no say in it. A lot of guys came to the seduction community because they were crushed when someone "stole their girlfriend," so they get upset when they hear other people trying that. Also there is a lot of moralizing about seducing married women.

I wish people would get over this. A woman can make up her own mind, you're not going to get anywhere by making moral judgments about the guy and what he wants, or even worse, condemning the woman. This can be explicit slut shaming of the woman, as a way of obliquely shaming the guy. Knock that shit off.

nnocor · 2012-04-26T10:39:15+00:00

In the paraphrased words of Tyler Durden: "If you say something I tell you to do wont work. Fuck you. How dare you say it wont work without trying it first"

ObscuroMagna · 2012-04-26T10:54:11+00:00

I think we need more active mods.

2012-04-26T10:21:19+00:00

It's difficult to differentiate between stuff that most people would consider ethical and fair, like eye contact and touching people, learning how to make interesting conversation, etc. and stuff that makes people think poorly of the PUA community, which is basically the stuff you've listed up there. There's no sharp line between techniques, but they could probably be organized onto 3 or 4 tiers when it comes to how they're viewed by the public. People might be interested in distancing themselves from techniques that they feel will reflect badly on them, which could also help PR for PUA in general.

Paramorgue · 2012-04-26T12:58:52+00:00

The lack of focus on the inner game compared to the "-closing" and [FR]s. people need to focus on what is going on inside of the head of themselves instead of the actual action.

EXAMPLE: Girl gives you her number. Do not put the only focus on that you just managed to geta number because you smiled at her. Why did you just get that number? What does that smile symbolize and what responses does it give inside of her pretty little head. Social interaction on a theoretical level is really lacking here.

seekingagirl · 2012-04-26T14:10:44+00:00

The community in general:

Looks don't matter
Any guy could get any girl
Lack of specialized material for naturals and good looking people

I think convincing people #1/#2 are true help them shed self limitations, but is misleading. Natural looks affect how much effort is required. Some women will sleep with you simply because you look good. I think it was David Wygant who once said you could put him in a fat suit and he could seduce any woman. I know way too many (beautiful) women who are too picky to know that's not true. There are simply some women you could never get simply because you're not good looking enough; ACCEPT that.

For the last part, I think the community is focused too much on getting the down-and-out nerds who have failed with women their whole lives get laid with average looking women. I want to see more material focused on helping naturals and/or good looking people fine-tune their game for the cream of the crop. I'll read 10 pages of material then a couple of lines that say "this won't work on 9s and 10s" or "be careful using this around 9s/10s because..." and that's it.

Regarding Seddit:

The lack of focus on getting quality women
Beauty is all relative

I got into the community to learn how to get the best, hottest women around. I don't want to game 6s, 7s, and 8s.

Is it all relative? I don't believe as much. Porn stars, models, and celebrities are chosen for a reason: universal definitions on what's attractive to the general population.

So in the end, I don't care much about reading FRs here because I get the sense that peoples' 9s and 10s are really mediocre and don't apply to the kind of women I'm after.

theseAreHardTimes · 2012-04-26T14:20:21+00:00

I'm not a big fan of the money grabbing companies and their hostile attitude towards each other. Pick Up should be less about taking money from AFCs who desperately needs help, and more about being a community where everybody brings out the best of everybody. I understand that it's neccessary to keep up profits, and the price is defendable seeing how people are willing to pay. But it still feels a bit immoral.

But hey that's just like, my opinion, man.

giantcirclejerk · 2012-04-26T12:20:02+00:00

The fact that it's been 9 hours and it doesn't look like the OP has replied to anyone in this thread...

RedErin · 2012-04-26T13:39:12+00:00

LMR.

Methods that play on a person's insecurity do not foster a "leave them better than when you found them" mentality.

Also, when they say to stop doing a certain thing, when you stop and then do it again later is scummy behavior because you're doing something that they told you not to do.

2012-04-26T21:38:40+00:00

I've been part of this community for about a year and a half... most of the things I hate have already been mentioned (HB scale, NLP) but some others I haven't seen:

The whole Alpha macho attitude. I understand the concept about being a confident man, but the whole "Is this alpha? Was this beta? Yeah I'm alpha as fuck" thing sort of gets ridiculous.
The constant suggestions that nofap will solve all my girl problems ever.
The whole "Be confident in yourself, inner game!" and then in the same sentence proceeding to suggest malefashionadvice, an expensive haircut, and every other possible thing that directly conflicts with "inner game".

IAmTheOmNom · 2012-04-26T07:04:57+00:00

[permanently deleted]

frogma · 2012-04-26T09:43:19+00:00

I kind have strayed from this community in and started exploring r/pickup for some fresh insight.

Honestly the community became a bit stale after I noticed the pattern of unspectacular [FR] that had no actionable advice rather than maintain IDGAF, LMRing, # closing, F - closing. On top of the constant 'advice' threads about the silliest stuff ever that belong in r/askseddit.

Looking on it now I just think this community needs to make the game more personal, I get a feeling that we're treating women as a numbers game when it really should be living an awesome life. And since we're mostly men an awesome life requires beautiful and interesting women.

And ultimately I don't see the 'fun' anymore in this community. I think this community is trying to one up each other just for the sake of one upping each other at some points and I find that disappointing.

Dubstep_Duck · 2012-04-26T16:07:58+00:00

The HB Scale.

Why is it that people say "HB6" or "HB7"? HB should only be in front of 9 or 10. But that whole scale is outdated.

My scale goes from 0-3 and that's it. It goes like this:

0- You would NOT do it.

1- If you were drunk, maybe.

2- You'd probably go for it sober.

3- You really want it.

Simple, precise.

Saying "HB7" gives me no idea what we're working with.

Arrray · 2012-04-26T05:12:05+00:00

Why do we even have to agree on these things, do we have to agree that we all prefer the color blue over yellow too? Or that we all rather drive toyota's instead of hondas? This is silly... i don't see a spec of a reason why i should explain myself to somebody about my beliefs on life. I think pick up is a great thing, and if you don't like it, then its your choice, just like it is mine. The whole point of hating what we "talk" about here is in itself selfish thinking, and shouldn't be encouraged like this. That's my opinion. Other than that the only reason i would explain my self is to maybe try to convince "a particular person/ friend" to change their ways of life, that's about it.

Title	[xMODx] Next question...
Author	frogma
Upvotes	40
Comments	105
Date	April 26, 2012 2:07 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ssv1o/xmodx_next_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/xmodx-next-question.1331841 https://theredarchive.com/post/1331841

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